Ms Hecate's Academy
by icecream401
Summary: Find out what an average year at preschool is like for some of the younger gods and also some of the heroes. Everyone is a preschooler in this (student-wise).
1. Introduction

**Hello, FanFiction! I AM ICECREAM401!**

 **So I got this idea from Lost-in-a-New-World, so credit goes to them and also to Owlion12 for some of the other ideas for this FanFiction. This was actually based off of my Surgery FanFiction.**

 **By the way, I haven't updated in a bit because my computer crashed, so this is my first night on my new computer, and it's so weird because it's got a lot of stuff that I'm not used to.**

 **So, a lot of stuff in here might be…not according to Greek mythology type of thing…but I know the myths and who their REAL parents are.**

 **Anyway, please read, review, and enjoy. I haven't been in preschool in, like, a long time, so please PM me with ideas as to what preschoolers should do besides eat food, nap, play outside, and do crafts.**

 **INTRODUCTION**

Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danae were frantically running around, trying to get the room set up for all the parents who were coming in to discuss that year's plans.

"I hope we're not forgetting anything," said Ms. Psyche.

"I don't think so," Ms. Danae replied. "I printed off the agenda for everybody, and you have the other paperwork for the parents. We just need to remind them to give us their kids' physical forms."

Ms. Psyche sighed as the door creaked open and Ms. Hecate walked into the room. "They're here," she said.

Ms. Danae and Ms. Psyche looked at each other. "Well, here we go," said Ms. Danae bravely.

Ms. Psyche watched as the parents came into the classroom and sat down on the carpet. She recognized several of the gods, but there were a few people whom she _didn't_ recognize. There was a husband and a wife who were talking quietly to each other. The guy was very slim and the woman was a bit chunky. But they looked nice enough.

Ms. Psyche noticed Hera glaring at Ms. Hecate's secretary. "Is it too late to take Hebe off the registrar?"

"Yes," said Ms. Hecate. "Mrs. Hera, once your child is on the list, they're on the list."

Hera shrugged and glared at her husband. "Zeus, honey, do you think we should head home and tell Hebe this is a place of misery and woe?"

Zeus chuckled. "No, dear."

Ms. Hecate cleared her throat. "Okay, let's get started. Welcome, everyone, to Ms. Hecate's Academy! I am obviously Ms. Hecate and welcome to Parents Night! Tonight's the time for us to get to know you and tell you about what your children will be doing this year in this classroom. I'm going to introduce my secretary. This is Ms. Medusa and she said she'd be willing to work with all of your kids, except Perseus because she doesn't like him."

"I don't like Danae either," Ms. Medusa mumbled from a nearby spot on the carpet.

"I am Miss Hestia, and I'm the school nurse," said Miss Hestia.

"Oh, good," said one of the parents, "a sensible woman to take care of any sick kids."

Miss Hestia blushed furiously and sat back down in her seat next to Ms. Medusa.

Once everyone else had introduced themselves, Ms. Psyche looked at all the parents. "So, Danae's handing out some informational packets for everyone. Please look at them carefully. These just state the rules. We only have four basic rules in our classroom. Our first rule is that we don't run in the classroom. Next is that we don't talk while someone else is presenting—Mrs. Aphrodite."

"What?" Aphrodite snapped. "Ares is texting me some very sexual stuff on my phone, so there, you crazy—"

"ANYWAY," said Ms. Psyche, "rule number three is that we play nicely together. And the last one is just to have fun. Your children—even though they're gods and heroes—will never be little preschoolers again. Are there any questions?"

Since no one had questions, Ms. Psyche handed everyone a schedule with everyone's email and phone numbers on it. Then she told everyone to take a bathroom break because they all looked exhausted.

"Well, I guess that completes everything," said Ms. Psyche. "Are there any questions for any of us?"

Of course, Aphrodite's hand was up. "Can I come in someday and do sex ed? They need to learn what safe sex is."

"Uh…" Ms. Psyche glanced at Ms. Danae. "I'll have to ask my assistant about that and I'll get back to you, Mrs. Aphrodite."

It was Monday, the first day of school. There were many stresses going on this morning on Olympus.

Hera and Zeus' daughter Hebe was having panic attacks because she was Mommy's little girl and she would always stay home with Hera while Zeus worked. Now that Hera was working as a marriage counselor for other gods, Hebe was heading to preschool…and she wasn't happy about it either.

In the palace across the street, Fructus—Demeter and Triptolemus' kid—wasn't having a good day either. He used to spend his summer days playing in the fields with his father while his mother baked him cookies and lemonade. Now that he was going to preschool, he was scared he wouldn't get as much field time as he used to.

"Now, Fructus," said Demeter as she combed his hair and helped him get dressed, "you'll love preschool. You can teach all the other kids about agriculture."

"But what if they don't like agriculture?" Fructus asked as he put his shoes on.

"Well, make them," Demeter insisted. "Have a good day, sweetie. We'll pick you up at two-thirty when school's over. If I get a good report from Ms. Psyche today, we'll go out to dinner."

Fructus said a tearful goodbye to his mother and hopped in the back seat of Trip's car.

Phobos, Deimos, and Ares were heading into preschool, too. Ares was constantly telling his kids to talk about war the whole day and not to let anyone annoy them. Aphrodite was there, too, but she was doing something with mascara, so let's pretend she's NOT here.

The other kids' parents were getting their kids ready, too. Alcmene was busy telling Hercules not to beat people up, Danae was telling Perseus she had to stay after to get some paperwork done, and Helios was telling Phaethon not to look directly at the sun when he went to go play outside.

As all of the kids were heading into their first classroom, they couldn't help thinking: _Hmm…what will happen on the first day of school_?

 **So…did you guys like it?**


	2. Chapter 1: First Day Jitters

**Again, ideas come from Lost and Owlion12. Any more ideas involving fights/field trips or something? Let me know.**

 **Again, also, parentage is off. Let's pretend Zeus never had all those affairs with mortals and it's complicated so just go with it.**

 **CHAPTER 1**

When all the kids got into the classroom, emotions were all over the place. Hebe had been dropped off by Zeus and wouldn't stop crying, so Zeus basically left her in the middle of the classroom crying (because Zeus' parenting sucks). Fructus, on the other hand, was scared. So his solution was to never let go of his father's leg. Triptolemus and Ms. Psyche had to pry the poor kid off of the farmer god's leg and Fructus ran to the carpet to comfort Hebe.

Phobos and Deimos were being dropped off by Ares. They were so excited, they claimed they couldn't get to sleep last night, and they were jumping up and down next to Ares.

"Ms. Psycho, can you tell them to stop with this damn bouncing? They're driving me insane!" Ares ranted.

"Ms. Psyche, actually," Ms. Psyche corrected gently.

"Same thing," snapped Ares. "I gotta go do stuff for war school. Bye. I'll pick you boys up at two-thirty!"

Makaria clung to Persephone, who picked her up and held her, promising she'd have a good time.

Alcmene, Hercules, and Theseus had all come together. As soon as Alcmene kissed her son goodbye, Hercules wiped the kiss off and ran to the carpet with Theseus. Both boys met up with Jason, Phaethon, Bellerophon, and Perseus.

Ms. Psyche's daughter Hedone—the goddess of pleasure—was sitting right by the chair her mother was about to sit in. She looked calm and placid, like this whole first day of school thing was all normal.

Finally, a girl walked in with her mother. The mother was holding a small mirror and basically ignoring her daughter.

"Mommy?" the girl asked. "Where do I go?"

"Figure it out, honey," said the woman. "I'm busy with my blush."

"Hi, Mrs. Cassiopeia," said Ms. Danae. "Andromeda, dear, why don't you go sit on the carpet and play with the other kids."

Andromeda hugged her mother's leg. "I love you, Mommy."

"Whatever," said Cassiopeia.

Ms. Danae was shocked, so she made a mental note to tell Ms. Psyche about it later.

Andromeda walked to the carpet and sat down next to Perseus, who was in a deep conversation with Phaethon.

"All right, boys and girls!" said Ms. Psyche, sitting in her chair. "Let's start class!"

All the kids shut up at once and stared up at the goddess of the soul.

"Welcome to preschool! Is everyone ready for a fun year?"

"Yes!" the class chanted.

"Very nice! So today is our first day of school! So let's start off by introducing ourselves. So everyone stand up and say who you are and…hmm…Ms. Danae, what else should they say?"

"Something fun they did over the summer," Ms. Danae suggested.

"Okay!" said Ms. Psyche. "I'll start. My name is Ms. Psyche and I went to Florida this summer."

"My name is Ms. Danae and I went to the Grand Canyon this summer."

And the rest of the kids introduced themselves, Ms. Psyche marked them down on the attendance sheet she had perching on her lap.

Once everyone was done, she put down the clipboard and stood up, asking the class to stand with her. "Boys and girls, it's time for our welcome song." She put on the "Welcome Song". After the song, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danae both stood up and told the class to follow them around the room for a tour.

"This is the bathroom," said Ms. Psyche. "We have three toilets in here. Theseus, please stop picking your nose!"

Theseus had just stuck his index finger up his nose, pulled out a giant ball of snot, and held it out to Andromeda.

Perseus looked at him angrily. "Dude," he snarled, "don't do that to girls. That's not nice!"

Theseus shrugged and wiped the snot on his pants.

"Class," said Ms. Danae, "this is the craft area. We'll be doing lots of fun crafts this year—yes, Fructus?"

"Can I make a strawbrerry for my mommy and daddy?" Fructus asked timidly.

"Of course you can," said Ms. Danae, "but we'll need to do it later. Right now it's time for the tour to end and for recess to begin!"

Ms. Psyche gave the class some rules about playing outside—though she doubted anyone heard her—and led the little gods outside.

"Hebe," said Hercules, "do you wanna go on the tire swing with me?"

Hebe was still in tears because Mommy Hera wasn't there to hang out with her. But she figured this Hercules guy was harmless. "Yeah…okay…" she accepted.

Hercules took Hebe by the hand and they headed for the swing set.

Meanwhile, in the sandbox, Fructus was busy building himself a field of wheat. He was busy digging with a plastic shovel when he heard a cute giggle coming from the swings.

Fructus looked up.

Hebe was swinging on the tire swing with Hercules.

Fructus glared at Hercules, who was too busy cheering Hebe up that he didn't notice.

Fructus got up and stomped on his pretend field of wheat. He marched over to the tire swing and stopped it. Hebe and Hercules looked at him.

"What's wrong, Fruitcake?" asked Hercules.

"FRUCTUS!" Fructus yelled. "Hebe's my girlfriend!"

"Huh? Dude, no she's not. She's _my_ girlfriend!"

"You suck!" yelled Fructus.

Why weren't Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danae coming over? They were on a bench watching the rest of the kids.

Hercules looked at Hebe. "Hang on, babe. I'll take care of this sad piece of fruit." He jumped down off the tire swing. "What do you wanna do about it? I'm bigger and stronger than you are, Fructus."

Fructus thought about it. He knew Demeter and Trip would kill him if he picked a fight at school, but this was to get the woman he loved. He had to do something…AND FAST.

"Meet me outside of school during naptime," he replied. "Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danae do paperwork and have headphones on while they do it. It'll be the perfect chance to sneak out."

"When's naptime?" asked Hercules.

"So I guess you don't gots a brain, eh?" Fructus snapped. "It's after lunchtime. After naptime is when our mommies and daddies come and pick us up."

"Fine," Hercules huffed, "but I hope you're ready to lose a few teeth there, buddy."

"Whatever," Fructus snapped. "The winner of the fight gets Hebe, because Hebe's hot."

"What does that mean?" Hebe asked.

"It means I think you're pretty-full," said Fructus.

Hebe blushed a deep shade of red. "Aw, thanks, Fructus. Hercules always calls me that."

Hercules flexed his preschooler muscles, like that was supposed to intimidate people. But Fructus didn't buy it.

"I'll see you during naptime," said Hercules.

"Boys and girls!" called Ms. Danae. "Time for lunch!"

The kids all piled around two tables. Ms. Danae and Ms. Psyche each sat at one and helped the kids get their food.

"Bellerophon," Ms. Psyche said, "do you want peas or carrots?"

"Yucky! I don't like veggies," Bellerophon said.

Ms. Psyche couldn't argue with the kid, because she wasn't an arguer. "After lunch, class, we'll take a nap!"

Hebe was sitting in between Fructus and Hercules. Hercules was asking for more milk because he thought milk would make him look cute. Fructus thought he'd educate Hebe about the importance of farming, but Hebe didn't seem too impressed by this.

Jason, who was sitting right next to Fructus, started to gag and choke on his green beans.

"Oh, gods!" yelled Ms. Danae, who was at their table. "Jason! Keep coughing!"

Jason kept coughing, but the green beans went deeper into his trachea and he started turning purple.

Ms. Danae ran over to Jason and gave him the Heimlich maneuver. A huge chunk of green bean shot out of Jason's mouth…right into Fructus' water. Fructus made a face, reached into the water, and threw the hunk of green bean back at Jason.

"Do we throw our food, Fructus?" Ms. Danae asked as she handed Jason some water.

"No," Fructus replied.

"Okay." Ms. Danae headed back to her seat and ate her own lunch.

It was naptime now, the time of day where NORMAL preschoolers try and sleep until their teachers tell them they can get up.

Ms. Psyche gave the kids their cots and told them to go put them somewhere in the room. Then she put on some soft music and told everyone it was night-night time. As soon as she saw the kids snoring, she put on her headphones and began to do paperwork.

About ten minutes later, Andromeda woke up Hebe. "Hey, Hebe," she said, "I think you should go outside now for the fight."

"Yeah," said Hebe. "You're right, Andromeda."

Hebe went over to Hercules and Fructus, who just so happened to be sleeping next to each other. "Guys," she said, "time for the fight."

Fructus shot off of his cot and over to the window. He unlocked it and headed for the playground, about half the class following him.

Once everyone was safely outside, Fructus stopped in the middle of the grass and turned to Hercules. "Okay, it's time for me to KICK…YOUR… **ASS**!"

Hercules threw the first punch, knocking Fructus to the ground. But Fructus was quickly on his feet again and running after Hercules, calling him _barley-eater_ , _tomato-smasher_ , and _fruit-sniffer_ …and probably a bunch of other names involving food.

Fructus' name-calling was so loud that it startled the rest of the class. Bellerophon sat up and rubbed his eyes, thinking it was time to play. Phaethon was sound asleep when he heard cussing in Greek and heard girly yelps coming from the playground. Makaria was still fast asleep, so everyone left her alone.

Meanwhile back outside, Fructus and Hercules were just about to get into the good part of their epic battle, when Fructus did something Hercules didn't expect him to do. Fructus _bit_ Hercules.

Fructus had always been taught that biting was wrong. But this was okay, right? Fructus made Hercules start bleeding, until Hercules tripped over his own feet as he was chasing Fructus. Hercules fell on his face—unconscious—in the middle of the grass. Fructus ran to Hebe and took her hand, lifting it up in the air. "You're _my_ girlfriend now!"

"Yay! I love when dudes fight over me!" Hebe squeaked.

Hebe and Fructus hugged and it was all cute and stuff…until they saw Perseus coming for them.

Before the fight, everyone told Perseus he was to keep a close watch on his mother—Ms. Danae—and to let everyone know if she was about to wake everybody up from their nap.

"Guys," Perseus hissed, "Mommy just put her folder away. Get back inside and pretend you're sleeping!"

They all had to drag Hercules back to his cot and everyone "fell back to sleep" again.

Ms. Psyche turned on the lights and woke everyone up with the "Wakeup Song".

"Wake up, wake up, let's all get out of bed.

Wake up, wake up, wake up, you sleepy-head!"

Hebe sat up and rubbed her eyes. That "nap" was great. Suddenly, she heard a loud gasp from the corner of the room.

"Hercules!" Ms. Psyche squawked. "What happened, dear?"

Fructus sat up and yawned. "Yeah, Hercules, tell us what happened to you."

"I…" Hercules thought. "I don't know."

When two-thirty came, all the parents came to pick their kids up. Hera and Hebe left right away, as did Trip and Fructus. When Alcmene came, she took her son off the attendance sheet, because she thought someone had beaten him (and that someone was FRUCTUS).

"Psyche," said Danae as the kids were leaving and Hedone and Perseus were playing with the Legos, "I think something happened to Hercules and he doesn't want to come back tomorrow."

"Well," said Psyche, "as I was doing the paperwork this afternoon, I thought I saw some of our class fighting."

"Oh, really?" Danae looked at her son. "Perseus, honey, did something happen outside during naptime?"

Perseus was a sucky liar, so he looked at his mother and nodded slowly. "Hercules and Fructus were fighting, Mommy."

"Oh no," said Ms. Danae, "well, tomorrow, I think we'll need to talk to the class about it, eh?"

"I suppose so," said Ms. Psyche.

 **Hmm…what should happen NEXT?**


	3. Chapter 2: A Day of Time-Outs

**Do you guys like the kids in class now, or should I add some more?**

 **CHAPTER 2**

It was the second day of school and all the kids were sitting on the carpet in front of Ms. Psyche. Fructus knew he was in trouble before Ms. Psyche asked a pressing question.

"Tell me, class," she said in a calm voice, "what happened yesterday during naptime?"

Hebe raised her hand. "Ms. Psyche, Fructus kicked Hercules' ass yesterday and now me and Fructus are in love!"

"That's wonderful, Hebe, but that's not a nice word," Ms. Psyche scolded. "Fructus, I'll need to speak with you alone after the announcements this morning."

"Yes, ma'am," said Fructus timidly.

Ms. Psyche pulled out a piece of paper. "Ms. Danae is out sick today, right, Perseus?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Perseus timidly.

"What's wrong with her?" Hebe asked.

"She said she had a tummy ache, so my daddy droppeded me off this morning," said Perseus.

"Okay, that's it," said Ms. Psyche, her voice sounding louder as she got more and more aggravated with her class. "I want all of you to go into separate corners of the room and don't talk. Until someone comes forward with the answer as to what happened during naptime yesterday, you'll be sitting there for the entire class."

"What if we have to pee?" Makaria asked.

"Raise your hand and I will give you permission," Ms. Psyche replied angrily. "Hebe and Fructus, you two will sit over there by the windows. Perseus and Theseus, you two can pick a spot over there!"

Ms. Psyche got up and headed to the table to do some paperwork.

Fructus grabbed Hebe's hand. "I'm sorry, baby. But he wasn't the right guy for you."

"Right. Mommy and I talked about Hercules last night and she called him a _butt-sniffer_. I don't really know what that means but—"

"Hebe!" Ms. Psyche yelled. "Shhh!"

Hebe waited until Ms. Psyche went into the front office to give something to Ms. Hecate. Then she looked at Fructus. "You gonna tell her, or are you gonna be a scared fruitcake?"

"Will you quit calling me that?" Fructus snapped at her. "My name is FRUCTUS!"

"You don't look too good," said Hebe. "What's wrong? I'll listen because I'm a good friend."

"My tummy doesn't feel good," said Fructus. "I think I need to go home."

"When I have a tummy ache," said Hedone, who just so happened to be sitting in a beanbag chair, "my daddy rubs it and it gets better."

"But your daddy's not here," Fructus said sadly. "It's getting worse, guys."

At that moment, Ms. Psyche came back into the room with an orange folder. _Hmm…_ Fructus thought, _who's folder is that_?

Fructus went up to Ms. Psyche. "Excuse me, Ms. Psyche."

"Yes, Fructus?" Ms. Psyche replied absentmindedly.

"Uh…my tummy hurts. May I go see Miss Hestia?"

Ms. Psyche sighed. "Yes. Pick a friend to go with you."

Before Fructus and Hebe left for the nurse's office, Fructus looked at the folder. Now, Fructus couldn't read yet and only knew a few letters. He knew Mommy's name started with a D, Daddy's name started with a T, and his name started with an F. The name on the folder started with an F, too! Maybe it was _his_ folder Ms. Psyche was looking at!

Fructus and Hebe headed down to Miss Hestia's office, Fructus clutching his stomach like he was going to puke.

"Are you gonna throw up?" asked Hebe anxiously. "'Cause my daddy said if I throw up on the floor he'll throw me off Olympus."

"Don't think so," said Fructus.

They'd reached Miss Hestia's office. Miss Hestia was humming to herself as she typed away on the computer. Hebe knocked on the door. "Come in!" called Miss Hestia.

Fructus walked into the room after his friend…who just so happened to be a girl.

"Hi, Fructus. Hi, Hebe. How's it going?" asked Miss Hestia.

"Miss Hestia? Fructus gots a tummy ache and he might throw up," said Hebe.

"I think Ms. Danae called in sick today," said Miss Hestia, "and she had a tummy ache this morning, too." She opened her drawer, took out a thermometer, and wheeled the chair over to Fructus.

"She gots to take your tempa-chur," said Hebe.

"I think it's _temperature_ , dear," Miss Hestia corrected. "Fructus, you don't have a fever. Is there something bothering you?"

Fructus couldn't take it anymore. "Yes," he sobbed.

"Okay," said Miss Hestia. "I think we need to talk about it with Ms. Psyche." And without waiting for Fructus or Hebe to say anything, she headed to the phone. "Ms. Psyche? Could you come down here please? There's something we need to talk about."

 **Fructus' POV**

Oh no! If Ms. Psyche found out I beat up Hercules, I'd get thrown off Olympus by Daddy. I guess it would be okay since I'm a god and I can't die (Mommy says I'm _immortal_ , whatever that means).

Miss Hestia opened the door and Ms. Psyche walked in, my folder in her hands. She didn't look too happy with me or Hebe.

"Hello, children," she said. Her voice was quiet. Daddy's voice gets loud when he's mad about something. When Mommy yells at me, she gets really quiet. I don't know why. Maybe she's trying to scare me.

"Who has something to tell me?" Ms. Psyche asked, sitting on one of the beds.

And so I told her, about me beating up Hercules because I thought he wasn't a good guy for Hebe.

"Well, Fructus," said Ms. Psyche, "thank you for telling me."

I was still crying and Hebe was rubbing my back. "It's okay. See? She's not mad anymore."

"I never said I wasn't mad anymore, Hebe," said Ms. Psyche. "Fructus, I'm disappointed in you. That was one of our rules yesterday, that we play nicely with each other. I'm afraid I'll have to call your parents and have them come in to hear about this."

Oh, NOW I was dead!

Ms. Psyche got on the phone with Mommy and told her and Daddy to come in immediately (not sure what that means either, but Mommy says that word a lot).

Mommy and Daddy came into the nurse's office a few minutes later. Mommy was wearing a pretty-full green dress. Daddy was wearing his usual clothes that look like jeans.

"So," said Ms. Psyche, "your son just told me that he beat Hercules up yesterday during naptime."

"Well, he told me that you and Danae wear headphones during naptime," snapped Mommy. "Of course they're going to act naughty!"

"Demeter, with all respect, I think your son is a reckless child," said Ms. Psyche.

I love how when teachers talk about you when you're there, they act like you aren't. So Hebe and I played with the toys in the corner of the room.

"So, what'll we do about him then?" asked Daddy.

"Consider this his first warning," Ms. Psyche said. "And if he does this again, he'll be expelled."

"What's that mean?" Hebe asked.

"Maybe they'll cast a spell on me," I replied.

"Fructus, why did you beat Hercules up?" asked Daddy.

"Because he wasn't a good fit for Hebe," I replied proudly.

"Well, we don't kick or fight, remember?" Mommy said. "I think I'll have to punish you."

 **AT MS. PSYCHE'S HOUSE**

"Hi, girls!" Eros said, hugging his wife and his daughter. "How was preschool today?"

"Not good," said Hedone sadly. "Mommy put all of us in a timeout."

"She did?" Eros glanced at Psyche, who'd just gone to the stove to start dinner.

"I wanted them to reflect on the rules we'd talked about yesterday," said Psyche. "Plus I'm on my period, so EVERYTHING sucks!"

Eros gave her a sympathetic smile. "Baby, do you wanna go make some…love or something?"

"Let's wait until Hedone's in bed. Then we'll do it," said Psyche.

"Mommy? Why does your name sound like _psycho_?" asked Hedone.

"Go play in your room, dear," Psyche replied.

Hedone grabbed her pretend shopping cart and dragged it upstairs, where she pretended to go shopping with her doll.

"What's for dinner?" Eros asked.

"Hmm…I don't feel like cooking tonight," said Psyche. "How about we go out."

"Sweet!" Eros said. He ran to the foot of the stairs. "Hedone! We're going out for dinner!"


	4. Chapter 3: Field Trip

**I know Danae has the two dot thingies on top of the final E, but I'm too lazy to click on the symbols button in Word. Sorry for the wait, though.**

 **CHAPTER 3**

It took Ms. Psyche a whole week to get over her late-pubescent problems. Now she was in her classroom early one morning, getting the room ready for her class.

Hedone sat quietly in the corner, doing a puzzle.

"Good morning, Ms. Psyche!" someone squealed.

"Good morning, Perseus!" Ms. Psyche said. "Are you ready for a fun day of learning?"

"Yes, Ms. Psyche!"

"Wonderful! How about you go play with Hedone while the rest of the preschoolers arrive."

Perseus headed over to the carpet and began to help Hedone with her puzzle.

Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danae continued preparing the classroom. They were hanging up several pictures of animals, because it was their first day teaching the kids about animals. They were also planning a big trip to the zoo, and some of the parents volunteered to go.

Triptolemus and Fructus walked in a moment later, Fructus immediately running to the carpet while Trip talked to the teachers.

"He's crazy hyper," said Trip. "Sorry in advance."

"Oh, that's okay," said Ms. Psyche.

"Any news on Hercules?" Trip asked.

Right after the first day, Alcmene took Hercules off the attendance list, so he was no longer in the classroom. Fructus had to write an apology letter (he did some finger-painting on a piece of paper and gave it to Hermes so he could give it to Hercules).

Ms. Psyche shook her head. "I think he's out for good," she replied.

"Okay," said Triptolemus. "That's too bad. Demeter and I were hoping Fructus would make some new friends besides Hebe. Bye, Farmer God, Jr."

"Bye, Daddy!" Fructus replied as he got out another puzzle.

Once all the kids got there, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danae talked to the kids about animals. They made some sounds and pretended to be different animals. Then came the best part.

"Class, we're going to the zoo on Friday," said Ms. Psyche, "and some of your mommies and daddies decided to help us out."

"When's that?" asked Bellerophon.

"Well, Bellerophon," said Ms. Danae, "can you help me out this morning? Help me find Friday on our calendar."

After Bellerophon pointed to Friday on the calendar, Ms. Danae gave him a gold star and he stuck it under his name on the sticker chart.

"Who's helping, Ms. Psyche?" asked Hebe.

"Fructus' daddy, Andromeda's mommy, and Phobos and Deimos' daddy," said Ms. Psyche. "And what's the rule when we go to the zoo?"

"We stay together," the class murmured.

 **THURSDAY NIGHT**

 **HERA'S HOUSE**

Hebe and Hera were getting ready for bed.

"Hebe," said Hera as she forced Hebe into a pair of footy pajamas, "be on your best behavior."

"I know, Mommy," Hebe whined.

"Don't whine to me, Hebe," Hera chided. "That's not ladylike of you."

"How come you can't come tomorrow?" asked Hebe.

"Because Mommy and Daddy are going to marriage counseling with Grandma Rhea," Hera replied, brushing Hebe's hair.

 **PERSEUS' HOUSE**

Perseus and Dictys (that fisherman dude) were playing a game…well, it was more like wrestling with each other.

"And Perseus gets Daddy!" Perseus yelled, jumping on Dictys as he sat on the couch, watching a fishing show.

"Don't jump on me, Perseus," said Dictys. "If anyone, you should jump on your Uncle Polydectes, 'cause he sucks."

"Yes, Perseus," said Danae. "Who wants warm milk?"

The boys looked at her.

"Kidding. I know how much you two hate that," said Danae. "Well, time for bed, Perseus. We've got a big day tomorrow!"

Dictys and Danae each said goodnight to Perseus and headed off to bed.

 **ANDROMEDA'S HOUSE**

Cepheus and Cassiopeia (Andromeda's mom and dad) were watching a rated R movie. They _thought_ Andromeda was sleeping, but that wasn't the case. Andromeda came walking into the room in her pink nightdress, looking at her parents. "What's that?" she asked, pointing to the TV.

Cepheus quickly changed it and it flipped to a cooking show. "A pot of soup, dear," he said.

"I saw two naked people kissing," Andromeda said. "Wait till I tell Ms. Psyche!"

"You'll do no such thing, you lady," snapped Cassiopeia. "Now go upstairs and stay up there!"

"You're a mean queen," Andromeda said. She probably could've said something more colorful, but she was only three, so she didn't understand half the swear words yet.

 **FRIDAY MORNING – 6:00 AM**

 **MS. PSYCHE'S HOUSE**

"Hedone," said Psyche as she stroked her daughter's hair, "time to wake up. Let's go see all the animals!"

Hedone shot out of bed. "Okay, Mommy!"

Psyche and Hedone ate a quick breakfast while Eros did something on his iPad (specifically, he was emailing his mother to tell her he loved her dearly, although he didn't really mean that because Aphrodite was a crazy woman).

 **MS. HECATE'S ACADEMY**

"Good morning, boys and girls!" Ms. Psyche said as the class settled onto the carpet. "Theseus, please put the truck away. It's time to listen now. Anyway, we have some parents here today to help us out. This is Fructus' daddy, and you guys can call him Mr. Trip. This is Andromeda's mommy, Mrs. Cassiopeia. And this is Phobos' and Deimos' dad, Mr. Ares."

"Let's split everyone up into groups so you all can have buddies," said Ms. Danae. She gave the kids their groups. "Now, everyone head outside onto Mr. Apollo's bus!"

"Hey, Andromeda," said Perseus nervously, "do you wanna sit with me on the bus?"

"Sure," Andromeda said, blushing.

"Sweet!"

So Perseus and Andromeda sat together, holding hands, which didn't make Cassiopeia too thrilled.

"You're, like, three," she told them. "Why are you holding hands?"

"Mommy," Andromeda wailed, "Perseus and I are in love!"

"Oh." Cassiopeia relaxed. "Okay. Hand Mommy her makeup bag."

Meanwhile, Hebe and Fructus were stuck in the same seat with Trip. Trip was bragging to the two gods about how much he knew about animals, and Fructus _really_ wanted to run off the bus into oncoming traffic.

"Shut up," Fructus mumbled.

Triptolemus stopped talking. "What did you just say?"

"I said _shut up_. You're so annoying, Daddy!"

"Hebe, can you scoot over so I can yell at my son? Thanks, sweetie."

Triptolemus then yelled at Fructus (and the whole bus went quiet because when Trip yells it's crazy loud).

Meanwhile, Phobos and Makaria were sitting together, talking about war and death.

"Daddy told me that your daddy is a war god," said Makaria.

"Uh-huh. But I'm a nice war god. My dad's an ass."

"That's true," Ares said from in front of them. He was playing a killing game on his iPhone.

"Dad? Can you put your phone away and talk to us for once? That's all you ever do is play on your phone!"

"No! Shut up!"

When Apollo dropped the kids off at the zoo, Ms. Psyche told everyone to get off the bus and line up by the fence.

The zoo they were going to today was called Olympus Park Zoo, and it was gigantic. They had the usual stuff, like giraffes, monkeys, and rhinos. But they also had mythological animals, too, like Pegasi and that kind of thing.

Ms. Danae handed the chaperones their maps and told them to meet back on the bus at two-thirty. "Have fun, everyone!"

Ms. Psyche led her group (Jason, Phaethon, and Bellerophon) in one direction, while Ms. Danae led Hedone and Deimos somewhere else. That left the three pairs of students with their chaperones.

 **WITH HEBE'S GROUP**

"What should we see first?" asked Trip as he glanced at the map.

"Daddy, can we go see the giraffes?" asked Fructus.

"No. Hebe?"

"Uncle Trip, since Mommy says I'm the cutestest goddess ever, can we go see the dolphin show?"

"Sure, sweetheart," said Trip.

Fructus kicked his father in the leg. "Daddy! How come I can't choose something?"

"Remember? Because you told me to shut up, you are now invisible," Triptolemus snapped.

"Let's go to the dolphins!" Hebe squealed.

 **PERSEUS' GROUP**

Before Queen Cassiopeia the Awful Mother led her group off, Ms. Psyche stopped her. "Theseus needs a group. Would you mind taking him?"

Cassiopeia glanced at Theseus, who was picking his nose and wiping the snot on the cage of the lions. "Um…nope."

"Mrs. Cassiopeia, I realize he's a handful, but you've got Perseus and Andromeda and they can look after themselves," Ms. Psyche said.

Cassiopeia thought about it. "Oh, fine. I guess I'll do that."

Ms. Psyche smiled and led her group off. Cassiopeia glanced at her group. There were Perseus and Andromeda, who were talking quietly by her side. And then there was Theseus, who was scratching his butt and laughing as one of the lions pooped.

Cassiopeia _really_ hated going on field trips because she didn't get paid. But she sucked it up like a "nice" queen, took the kids by the hands, and led them off to see the dolphins, too.

 **MAKARIA'S GROUP**

Makaria and Phobos thought they could get away with holding hands in front of Ares and have a nice stroll through the zoo. But Ares decided to go all drill sergeant on them for some reason.

"Let's go, maggots! Quit holding hands! We need to see _all_ of the animals before the sun sets!" Ares screamed.

"Dad! Stop!" yelled Phobos.

"Why?" snapped Ares. "This is fun, punk!"

"You're scaring Makaria," said Phobos. "And I don't want her to be scared."

"Hey, Phobos, can I ask you a personal question?" Ares demanded.

"Uh…I guess."

"Are you guys, uh, dating and thingy?"

Phobos looked at Makaria. Both of them were blushing by this point and they knew it.

"Dad, yeah. We like each other."

"You kids should go out to a movie or something…or out to dinner. And then you guys should snuggle, because Aphro and I do that after we've gotten fat on food and thingy."

"Dad? Can we go see the butterflies?" asked Phobos.

"No child of mine is looking at butterflies, kid," snarled Ares.

 **HEBE'S GROUP**

Trip, Hebe, and Fructus had just looked at a bunch of dolphins that did nothing but dive into the water. Now they were heading off towards the zebras.

As they were heading over there, Trip sang the "Barley Song"…and it sucked even more because Trip can't sing to save his life.

Hebe was walking quietly next to Fructus, her head hanging low, and Fructus knew something was up. "What's wrong?" he asked her as they looked at the zebras.

"When it was summertime outside, Mommy and I used to go to the zoo all the time…and she'd make all the animal noises so I didn't have to do it all by myself." Hebe started crying on Fructus. Of course, Triptolemus had no idea because he was too busy singing the "Barley Song" to all the animals (and Fructus and Hebe were pretty freaking sure the animals wanted to die because the song was so bad).

"Here," said Fructus, putting his arm around Hebe. "Do you want _me_ to make the animal noises for you?"

Hebe looked up at him. "You would do that for me, Fructus?"

"Of course," said Fructus. "That's what Mommy does to me when I feel sad." Fructus forced a burp. "There. See? That's what a pig says."

"Fructus, what does Mommy say about burping in public?" snarled Trip.

"I thought you couldn't see me," said Fructus bitterly.

"Your punishment's over," snapped Triptolemus. "I will _not_ have my kid burping in public."

"Then…can I do _this_?" Fructus let loose a huge fart and Hebe started laughing her youthful head off.

"Let's go to the petting zoo," said Triptolemus angrily, grabbing the kids by the hands.

 **PERSEUS' GROUP**

Mrs. Cassiopeia was actually a pretty good chaperone, despite the fact that she was constantly yelling at Theseus to stop running off.

Perseus and Andromeda were basically still holding hands and talking to each other.

"Did you see that movie, too?" asked Perseus.

"Yeah," said Andromeda. "Mommy and Daddy both took me. I cried at the very end."

"Are you two talking about _Kronos the Cannibal_?" asked Mrs. Cassiopeia.

"Yes, Mommy," said Andromeda. Then she saw the petting zoo. "Mommy, can we go there?"

Mrs. Cassiopeia nodded, opened the gate, and let the kids inside.

 **INSIDE THE PETTING ZOO**

It just so happened that all the kids were now inside the petting zoo, and Ares was contemplating leaving his group there because they'd just seen the butterfly exhibit…and Ares HATED butterflies.

"Gods, I HATE butterflies," Ares ranted as he sat on a rock outside of the petting zoo.

Meanwhile, Trip was fangirling over the goats and making "baa" noises to amuse all the other kids. Unfortunately, none of the other kids were amused.

Jason walked up to Ms. Psyche. "Is it lunchtime yet?" he asked her.

"Almost," said Ms. Psyche. "Okay, everyone! It's time for lunch and then we'll see the snakes!"

"Oh, gross," said Andromeda.

"It's okay. I'll protect you," said Perseus.

"I'm hungry, Mrs. C," said Theseus, tugging on Mrs. Cassiopeia's dress.

"Don't touch me, Theseus," she replied absentmindedly. She led her group to a set of picnic tables and handed Andromeda her lunch. Ms. Danae walked over and gave Perseus _his_ lunch. Theseus took out his own lunch that Aethra had made for him.

"Mrs. Andromeda's Mommy," said Perseus, "can I go sit with my mommy?"

"No," said Mrs. Cassiopeia.

"She's evil, huh?" said Perseus.

"Yeah. I have to live with her. But my daddy and I get along. We maded ice cream after school yesterday and we ate it all up. And Mommy didn't get any so she put me and Daddy in the timeout corner in the garage."

Hebe was laughing at something Fructus was telling her.

Suddenly, Theseus stood up. "MS. PSYCHE!" he screamed in his very loud three-year-old hero voice. "I HAVE TO TAKE A DUMP!"

"Theseus, shush," snapped Mrs. Cassiopeia, "or I'll throw you in our royal dungeon."

"Daddy blew it up last Christmas," said Andromeda.

Ms. Psyche quickly rushed over and took Theseus to Trip. Trip took Theseus into the bathroom, where Theseus ended up taking a good half-hour to poop.

Hebe and Fructus were playing Would You Rather.

"Hebe, would you rather kiss me or Perseus?" asked Fructus.

"You. He's cute, too, but you don't bite people. Would you rather kiss me or Ms. Danae?"

Fructus looked anxiously across from him, where Ms. Danae was talking to Bellerophon. "You."

"Good job! That was the right answer!"

"Perseus!" Fructus screamed. "Would you rather snuggle with Andromeda or Hedone?"

"Fructus, knock it off," snapped Trip, sitting across from his son at the table.

"Andromeda," said Perseus. "Andromeda, would you rather eat Fructus' face for asking such a stupid question, or kick your own mother in the butt and say all the Greek swear words in alphabetical order while jumping on your trampoline—"

"I have a trampoline?" asked Andromeda.

"Just pretend," said Perseus. "…on your trampoline while eating a Freeze-Pop and wearing your father's crown?"

"The second one. But my daddy doesn't wear a crown. I do when I'm playing princess," said Andromeda.

"MS. DANAE!" Bellerophon sobbed, running to his group leader. "Ms. Danae, is it true that you and Ms. Psyche are planning to bake us in a pie tomorrow?"

"No, honey. Tomorrow we don't have school because—what day is it?"

"Saturday. Mr. Ares told me that you were going to make a pie and bake us into it," Bellerophon sobbed harder.

"Sweetheart, I promise you, you don't have you worry about us eating you," said Ms. Danae, shooting Ares a nasty glare.

"It was just a joke," said Mr. Ares.

Ms. Danae shot Ms. Psyche a glance, motioning for her to come over here. "I think," said Ms. Danae, "that instead of doing the snakes, we'll go back so they can sleep. They're all going to lose it."

"Agreed," said Ms. Psyche. "Boys and girls," she said, "the snakes aren't going to come out and see us today! So we'll be going back to preschool and taking our nap!"

No one protested because everyone (including the adults) were pretty pooped.

When they got back to preschool, Ms. Danae and Ms. Psyche handed out the cots to the kids and they spread them out on the floor. Ms. Danae handed each child a blanket while Ms. Psyche walked the three chaperones to the door.

Ms. Danae was about to turn off the lights when she heard crying. "Who's sad?" she called to the room.

Andromeda raised her little hand. "I am, Ms. Danae."

Ms. Danae shut off the lights and closed the door to the classroom after Ms. Psyche walked back in. Then she headed over to Andromeda. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Theseus called me an idiot and then he bit me," Andromeda cried as she sat on Ms. Danae's lap.

Ms. Danae glanced at Theseus. "Did you bite Andromeda?"

"Um, Theseus died. Please leave a message after the swear word—"

"Go sit in timeout," said Ms. Danae. "We don't bite people, Theseus."

At two-thirty, the parents came to get their kids. Ms. Danae told Aegeus (Theseus' dad) that Theseus had bitten Andromeda. Aegeus promised that he'd take care of it.

 **THESEUS' HOUSE**

"Theseus, do we bite people?" asked Aegeus.

"No, Daddy," said Theseus, hanging his head.

"Good boy. Now I want you to go upstairs and sit in your room. And you may _not_ play with your M &M doll until your punishment's over."

Theseus' only comment was, "What's for dinner, Daddy?"


	5. Chapter 4: Baking

**Hi everyone! Here is a new chapter with your favorite little kids! Enjoy! ~ICY~**

 **Credit goes to lunarchroniclesandcockatiels!**

 **PS – Once again, I shall be on choir tour until next Monday, but then my school has off for spring break! I will think of some stuff while I'm on tour, and as always, let me know if there's a particular something you'd like!**

 **CHAPTER 4**

"Danae," said Psyche as the kids were taking their nap one day, "I think we need to do something that'll teach the kids math and baking skills."

"I think we should bake brownies," said Danae.

"That's funny, because I think we should make cupcakes," Psyche contradicted.

"Brownies!"

"CUPCAKES!"

Fructus' head flew off of his pillow and he looked at his teachers. "My mommy told me if I fight in school she won't feed me for five years…or maybe it was twelve. I don't remember what she said—"

"Fructus, honey," said Ms. Psyche, "would you rather have brownies or cupcakes?"

Fructus' stomach churned. He wasn't good at making decisions yet. The entire class' fate was in his hands if he didn't choose the right thing to make…what would be chosen to bake? AAHHHH!

"Uh…brownies," he squeaked.

Ms. Danae looked at Ms. Psyche. "Do you want _me_ to buy the ingredients?"

"I'll get them," Ms. Psyche said. "Hedone loves shopping with me."

"Ms. Psyche, can I go outside now?" asked Fructus.

"No, dear. Go back to sleep. Naptime's not over yet."

Fructus shrugged and rolled over onto his side, staring at Perseus, who was drooling on the pillow beside him.

Ms. Psyche looked at the sleeping kids. Wow, how adorable they all looked! Hebe and Andromeda were sleeping in the same corner of the room—Andromeda's tummy rising ever so slightly as she inhaled and exhaled. Hebe, on the other hand, was curled into a little ball.

Theseus' fingers were in his mouth as he sucked them. He was sleeping sideways, so his body formed a cross with the cot. Bellerophon was sleeping peacefully next to him, but his butt was in the air.

Jason and Phaethon were both snoring quietly on the carpet where everyone had circle time not too long ago. Hedone was over by her mother, letting out puffs of air as she slept. Phobos and Deimos were out sick today with the flu, so they weren't there.

The door creaked open quietly and Hestia walked in. "Hi, you two," she said. "Phobos and Deimos will be out for the rest of the week because of their high fevers. Just thought I'd run it by you." She looked at the sleeping kids. "Well, look how cute they are," she remarked.

"Aren't they?" asked Danae. "I love how Makaria's sleeping and sucking her thumb."

Hestia nodded and left the teachers to their work.

"So after school," said Psyche, "I'll take Hedone to the store and we'll get the stuff for the brownies tomorrow. No one has allergies, right?"

Danae spent a few moments looking at the kids' files. "No," she replied. "But Fructus gets acid reflux if he eats certain foods."

"Well, good thing these aren't too chocolatey, or that would be a problem," Psyche whispered quietly.

Fructus' head popped up again.

"Should we wake up now, Fructus?" Ms. Danae said.

Fructus nodded sheepishly. "I can't sleep. So I think it's time to get up now."

"I think you're right," said Ms. Psyche. She went over to the CD player and played with "Wakeup Song". All the kids started to turn in their sleep.

"Good afternoon," Ms. Psyche told the class. "Is everyone ready to go home?"

Hedone rubbed her eyes. "Mommy, I'm tired," she told Ms. Psyche.

"You're going to help Mommy at the store this afternoon, honey," Ms. Psyche said. "We're going to make brownies for dessert tomorrow, everyone! And you all get to help!"

Andromeda sat up. Cassiopeia never let Andromeda bake with her (because—apparently—it wasn't ladylike or something). Naturally, Andromeda got all excited.

Parents started to arrive to collect their children. Ms. Psyche told them what the class would be doing the following morning.

"That sounds fun," said Hera as she held Hebe's hand.

"Cool," said Triptolemus, trying to grab Fructus (but the fruits god didn't want to go home today apparently).

"That sounds un-ladylike," said Cassiopeia. "Andromeda, come!"

Andromeda got on the floor on all fours and barked at her mother. "Woof! Woof! Look, Mommy, I'm a doggie!"

Cassiopeia sniffed in distain and headed out to her car with Andromeda running after her, still on all fours.

Once all the kids had gone home, Psyche and Hedone headed for the store.

Psyche got a cart right away and texted Eros, saying they were at the store. Eros texted back, asking Psyche to meet him for dinner at Palace of Pasta tonight for dinner (he didn't feel like cooking that night).

Hedone walked beside her mother as they headed down aisle after aisle after aisle, looking for the brownie mix. Finally, Hedone couldn't take it anymore. She let loose a huge scream and kicked the cart.

"HEDONE!" Psyche yelled, picking her daughter up. "What's the matter with you?"

"Mommy! I'm bored!" Hedone wailed, thrashing in Psyche's arms.

"Here. Help Mommy find the brownie mix."

Hedone shrugged and followed Psyche down even more aisles, but they eventually found the brownie mix.

They were in the checkout line…when Hedone noticed the candy aisle. "Mommy…?"

"No, sweetie," said Psyche. "No candy today. Mommy made cookies at home for dessert."

But Hedone wasn't listening; she'd run off.

"Son of a Titan," said Psyche.

Once she got Hedone into her car seat, Psyche rounded on her daughter from the front. "Hedone, do we run off from Mommy in the store?"

"No," Hedone said sheepishly. "But I got hungry and I saw all the candies."

"Sweetie, running off from your mother isn't a good thing," Psyche told her daughter calmly. As soon as they got back to their house, Psyche pulled Hedone out of the car. "Help Mommy bring in the groceries."

 **PERSEUS' HOUSE**

Dictys was sitting on the couch—once again—watching a fishing show. Danae was cooking dinner. Perseus was on the couch with his father, trying to count how many fish he could see.

"Mommy, I'm trying to count the fishies on the screen, but they move too fast. How many fishies are there?" asked Perseus.

"Well," said Danae, "ask your father."

Perseus turned to Dictys.

"A lot," said Dictys. "Danae, dear, I just got a text from Polydectes. He said he'd love to take Perseus for the day to do something."

Perseus whirled around and glared at his father. "Daddy! No! Uncle P is evil and he said if I don't behave he'll bake me in a pie!"

"For one thing, he can't cook," said Dictys, "unless he discovers the Internet. But Uncle P only knows how to text, so hopefully he'll never learn what the Internet is."

"I think it'll be good for those two to hang out together," said Danae, placing food on the table. "Come to the table, boys. It's dinnertime."

 **ANDROMEDA'S HOUSE**

Andromeda and Cepheus were playing with dolls with Andromeda's new toy: the Olympus Doll Complex. Andromeda was playing the little girl doll and Cepheus was playing the girl's father.

"Dinner!" called Cassiopeia. "And here are your vitamins, Andromeda."

The family sat around the table and began to eat their dinner.

"Daddy, we're making brownies tomorrow in Ms. Psyche's class," Andromeda said happily.

"That sounds wonderful, honey," said Cepheus.

Cassiopeia made a gagging noise. "I don't approve," she snapped. "Cooking isn't ladylike. Andromeda shouldn't be exposed to such youthful awfulness!"

"So, if it's un-ladylike, why are _you_ cooking?" asked Cepheus calmly.

"Because I'm a queen and also the mother. So she'll listen to me and my queenly authority."

"I see," said Cepheus. "Well, I believe it's time for dessert, huh?"

 **PHOBOS AND DEIMOS' HOUSE**

Ares and Aphrodite—who were now happily married—were watching TV and making out, when a cough broke them apart.

"Dammit," Ares barked. "Who's there?"

"Daddy, I don't feel good," Phobos said as he walked into the room. He crawled into bed next to Aphrodite and she started rubbing his back.

"Are you running a fever?" asked Aphrodite.

"Yes," said Phobos.

"Let's get you some medicine," said Aphrodite. Once she'd given Phobos some delicious-tasting cherry-flavored medicine, she tucked him back into his bed and flipped on the TV. _The History of War_ came on, his favorite show. Tonight's episode: "War in Ancient Rome".

 **THE FOLLOWING DAY AT SCHOOL**

Ms. Danae and Ms. Psyche were getting the baking lesson ready for that morning. Perseus and Hedone were playing with the toy cars on the circle time carpet before the other kids got there.

The door flew open and Aethra walked into the room. "Good morning," she called to the teachers. But then she was pushed off to the side as Theseus ran into the classroom, ran to the carpet, and pushed Hedone out of the way so _he_ could play with the cars.

"Hey!" Hedone yelled. "I was playing with those, Theseus!"

Theseus rolled his eyes at her and put half of the car into his mouth and pulled it out again. There was drool now hanging from his mouth, as well as the car.

"THESEUS!" Aethra screamed at her son. "WE DON'T DO THAT, YOUNG MAN!"

"Theseus, if you don't stop doing that, we won't let you make brownies and you can go home early with Mommy," said Ms. Psyche, kneeling down in front of the hero.

Theseus shrugged.

Ms. Psyche sighed heavily and told Aethra she'd take care of it.

"Uncle Hades?" said a little voice from the door. "My mommy and daddy hate you."

"I know they do, Froot-Loops," said Hades bitterly. For some unknown reason, the Lord of Dead People was responsible for both Fructus and Makaria that morning. Demeter and Triptolemus must've been especially mad at Hades for something, so maybe they dropped their kid off at Hades' palace and left.

Andromeda and Cassiopeia walked in, Cassiopeia with her arms folded and looking pretty angry about the whole Andromeda's-making-brownies thing.

Helios dropped Phaethon off really quick, as did Zeus with Hebe. Finally, everyone was present so they could start the baking lesson that day.

"Good morning, boys and girls," said Ms. Danae. "We're going to make brownies today! So instead of circle time, let's all come over to the table!"

The kids ran over to the table, put on some aprons, washed their hands, and waited for their teachers to tell them what to do.

"The first thing we do when we make brownies is to preheat the oven," said Ms. Psyche. "Who wants to be the helper today and help me preheat the oven?"

Jason raised his hand. "Me! Me!"

Jason ran over to Ms. Psyche and she lifted him up so he could type in the numbers. Ms. Psyche pressed START, and the preheating began.

Meanwhile, Ms. Danae was showing the class what an egg looked like, what oil looked like, and what brownie mix looked like. She then told the kids they were not allowed to eat _anything_ that landed on their hands.

As the kids were helping Ms. Danae and Ms. Psyche mix the brownies, Bellerophon turned to Phaethon. "Hey, I think we should lick our fingers. What's a little of this stuff going to do to us?"

"Yeah," said Phaethon. "That would be cool!"

So as Ms. Danae and Ms. Psyche were putting the pan into the oven to bake, Phaethon and Bellerophon licked their fingers. Then they saw Hebe glaring at them. "You guys weren't supposed to do that," she scolded.

"Shut up, Youth Head," said Bellerophon angrily. "You're not the queen of the universe!"

"No," said Hebe snappishly. "But my mommy is!"

"Boys and girls, let's go play outside!" called Ms. Psyche. She opened the door and the kids ran outside.

While Hebe, Fructus, Perseus, and Andromeda occupied the sandbox, the other kids occupied the play set and the swings. After a while, Makaria came over to them. "Can I play with you guys?" she asked.

"Sure," said Perseus. "We're playing wheat field."

"What's wheat field?" asked Makaria.

"We just draw stuff with these sticks," said Fructus. "At least that's what I do in my sandbox at home." He drew a happy face in the sand.

Makaria began to get sad. "I miss Phobos. We like playing together."

"But he's sick today," said Andromeda. "But you're welcome to play with us today, Makaria!"

"Thanks, Andromeda!" said Makaria, and she gave the princess a hug.

Meanwhile, Phaethon and Bellerophon started to not feel well. So they walked over to Ms. Danae and told her about eating the raw egg out of the brownie pan.

Ms. Danae clucked disapprovingly. "Boys," she said firmly but kindly, "what did we talk about before we made the brownies?"

"We don't eat anything that lands on our hands," said Phaethon, clutching his belly.

"Okay. Let's try to listen better next time," said Ms. Danae. "Ms. Psyche, I'm going to take these two to see Miss Hestia."

Meanwhile, Ms. Psyche brought the other kids in for lunch. Today's special: mac-and-cheese, hot dogs, and the brownies for dessert.

"Who wants water?" asked Ms. Psyche.

Everyone raised their hands.

The kids ate the food and the brownies, then went down for their naps. Ms. Psyche put on some silent sleepy-time music, which Hebe _hated_ with a burning passion. So she started to cry. Fructus got off his cot and gave her a hug…which resulted in those two gods snuggling on the cot together.

Andromeda wasn't having a very successful nap either. About forty-five minutes before pickup time, she had a horrible nightmare that involved Theseus biting her toes off and pulling her hair. She sat up and began to cry. Then she realized Perseus…

When Ms. Danae turned on the lights to wake the kids up, she found Andromeda and Perseus sleeping peacefully beside each other on Perseus' cot. Perseus had his arm around Andromeda's belly and they were facing each other.

 **Okay, so I already went on choir tour guys! Great time this year, but we were all trapped on the bus with some sick people, so now I'm sick and I'm not happy about it either! Anyway, I hope you guys liked that chapter!**


	6. Chapter 5: Show-and-Tell

**Okay, now I know how to do the accent on Danae.**

 **CHAPTER 5**

It was a beautiful fall morning at Ms. Hecate's Academy. It was exactly nine when all the kids decided to show up all at once.

"Good morning, Andromeda!" said Ms. Danaë. "Are you ready for school?"

"Yes!" yelled Andromeda.

"Well, you can head to the carpet," said Ms. Danaë.

Perseus, who was sitting on the carpet, patted the spot next to him. Andromeda sat down next to him and gave him a big hug.

Once everyone else arrived, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë did the "Alphabet Song" with the kids (their theme this week was the alphabet).

Then Ms. Psyche told them all about something totally awesome. "Boys and girls," she said, "we're going to—Theseus, if I see you spit on Hebe's shoes again, you'll be in Ms. Hecate's office for the rest of the day! We're going to have show-and-tell tomorrow. So I want all of you to bring in something really special and you'll tell all of us what it is."

Perseus looked at Andromeda. "What are you bringing?"

"I don't know yet," said Andromeda. "You?"

"I have a fish pillow," Perseus replied happily.

That night, all the kids told their parents about show-and-tell.

 **THESEUS' HOUSE**

"Theseus, you have _got_ to stop running while Mommy's making dinner!" Aethra pleaded. "Come on! Why don't you go run in the yard?"

"But it's cold out," Theseus moaned.

"I'm sure if you run, it'll be warmer out," Aethra assured him. "Now go play. But put on your jacket first!"

As the family was eating dinner, Theseus was telling his parents about show-and-tell. "I'm going to bring my candy thingy!"

Aethra and Aegeus exchanged nervous looks.

"Is there candy inside?" asked Aegeus.

"Yep. Don't worry. I'll share with everyone like a big boy!"

"Okay," Aethra said uncertainly.

 **PHAETHON'S HOUSE**

Helios and Clymene were doing the dishes when Phaethon came rushing into the kitchen, holding something in his hands. They were a pair of pretend butterfly wings.

"Oh, honey," Clymene squealed, "they look adorable!"

"I've never seen a dude butterfly before," Helios said, smiling at his kid.

"That's 'cause I just got them for my birthday," Phaethon said happily. He put the wings on and "flew" around the house.

THE NEXT MORNING

"Good morning, class," said Ms. Psyche. "Did everyone bring something in for show-and-tell?"

"Yes!" the class chanted.

"Good! Now, who would like to go first? Andromeda, why don't you start?"

Andromeda stood up. "This is my favorite pan in our house," she said, holding up a heart-shaped brownie pan. "Mommy made me a heart-shaped brownie for my birthday last year and I ate it all up like a big girl! They got none 'cause I wolfed it down like a chick dying of hunger."

"Thank you, honey," said Ms. Danaë. "Bellerophon?"

Bellerophon stood up and took a gun out of his pocket. "This is my favorite toy. Godly Santa gave it to me for Christmas last year. And if you're not nice to me, I'll shoot the crap outta you!"

"Bellerophon, no language," said Ms. Psyche calmly. "Deimos?"

"Ms. Psyche, please put this CD in and I'll do my thing," said Deimos.

Ms. Psyche put in the CD and pressed PLAY. This song called "Planet Nipples" came on.

"So, this is my favorite song ever," said Deimos proudly as the singer said the F word three times in a row. "My dad Ares is a badass and he says this word all the time at my house. Dad's my role model and he and I LOVE this song so much that we listen to it every day in the car!"

"My name starts with an F, too!" Fructus said. "So I guess if you took out the R, it would spell the word the guy's singing!"

"DEIMOS!" screamed Ms. Danaë. "This isn't a good thing to show the class!"

"Pfft, whatever," said Deimos.

"Fructus, what are you showing?" asked Ms. Psyche.

Fructus took out his carpet and unfolded it. "This is my strawberry carpet and it's real special 'cause I used to spit up on it all the time when I was a baby."

"That's nice. Hebe?"

"This is my pink blanky," said Hebe. "She's my bestest friend ever!"

And so, show-and-tell continued. Hedone brought in her coloring book of all the gods; Jason brought in a toy boat; and Makaria brought in a flower pot she'd painted with Persephone.

"Perseus, how about you?" asked Ms. Psyche.

Perseus brought out his fish pillow. It was the exact shape of a fish, but it was about as tall as Perseus was. And the damn thing smelled, too!

"Oh, dude," said Theseus, "what's that smell?"

"It's my pillow," snapped Perseus. "You gots a problem with that?"

"Boys, let's be nice, please," said Ms. Psyche, although she looked about ready to throw up. "Perseus, who gave that to you?"

"My dad gave it to me for my birthday," Perseus replied.

"Oh…" Ms. Danaë looked at Ms. Psyche like, _I swear on the River Styx, I did NOT tell him to bring that_.

Phobos brought in a movie about war, which he talked about after Phaethon showed everyone his wings. Theseus brought in his M&M dispenser and gave everyone two M&Ms.

"Good job for sharing, Theseus," said Ms. Psyche, who was always a little concerned about Theseus' sharing abilities. "Well, everyone, it's time to go outside and play now. So let's put our coats on and head outside."

Everyone got their coats on and headed outside. Ms. Danaë and Ms. Psyche stayed in the classroom for a second to reflect on the show-and-tell thing.

"I thought it went well," said Ms. Psyche. "I think we should do this again next year."

Ms. Danaë wasn't really listening, though. She was spacing out because she was going through a little "family issue" at home.

"What's wrong?" asked Psyche.

"Well," Danaë said bitterly, "you know how we have parent-teacher conferences this week?"

Psyche nodded.

"Well, while you and I are doing them, Perseus will be going out with Polydectes on Friday to spend the day with him."

Psyche's heart sank. She'd heard some stuff about Polydectes, including that he used to stalk Danaë on Facebook and whatnot. "Well, you could always bring Perseus in—"

"Well, I guess those two can bond while the conferences are going on."

"Why can't Dictys watch Perseus? Or maybe Perseus could go play at Andromeda's house," Psyche suggested.

Danaë was about to answer, but then Fructus came into the classroom with a bloody nose. Bellerophon was right behind him.

"He hit me with the tire swing!" Fructus sobbed as he ran to Ms. Psyche.

"It was an accident," said Bellerophon, which was his famous line.

"Fructus, let's go see Miss Hestia," said Ms. Psyche. "Bellerophon, you can go play outside after you say sorry to Fructus and give him a hug."

"I'm sorry, Fructus," said Bellerophon, giving the fruit god a big hug.

Fructus winced as Ms. Psyche touched his nose. "It's okay," he said bitterly.

Meanwhile, the other kids were either playing on the playset or in the sandbox. Ms. Danaë sat on the bench, watching Hebe, Makaria, Andromeda, and Hedone play on the playset. They were playing a game called Passwords.

"You can't go yet," snapped Hebe. "You didn't get the word right, Andromeda."

"But you told me the password already," Andromeda screamed back at her.

"Guys," said Hedone, "it's okay. Maybe we should play a different game. Let's gossip."

"What's that?" asked Makaria.

"It's when you say stuff about people," said Hedone. "My grandma Aphrodite does it all the time. Mommy doesn't like Grandma Aphro very much."

"I don't think any of us do," Andromeda giggled, the other two joining in.

Meanwhile, Phaethon and Perseus were playing in the sandbox when Theseus suggested they play Heroes.

"So you have to take the girls from the evil monster, which I am," said Theseus.

"Okay," said Perseus.

So Theseus sneaked up the slide (which was against the rules at playtime and Ms. Danaë scolded Theseus for doing that). Anyway, Theseus slid down the slide and climbed up the stairs. He attacked Andromeda first and held her arms at her sides.

"Perseus!" Theseus screamed.

"Huh?"

"You have to save your woman!"

"Oh. Right!" Perseus ran out of the sandbox and grabbed Andromeda's hand. "C'mon, baby. Daddy says I should practice my chivalry, whatever _that_ means." Perseus kicked Theseus. "This game is stupid!"

Ms. Psyche and Fructus came back outside, Fructus holding an ice pack and Kleenex to his face. He ran over to the sandbox and began making himself a field of wheat…because that kid honestly had nothing else to do.

"Let's head inside for lunch!" called Ms. Psyche. She ushered the kids inside and told them to sit around their tables. Ms. Danaë came in after them and the teachers began to hand out food. Today's entrée: chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and banana bread for dessert.

Lunchtime at preschool was probably the quietest time of the day besides naptime. The kids were eating quietly and not talking. Ms. Danaë and Ms. Psyche were sitting at the tables, making sure no one choked.

Fructus walked up to Ms. Psyche. "Ms. Psyche, I gotta go pee."

"Okay," said Ms. Psyche. "Go ahead."

Fructus went off to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. And literally the whole class heard him as he sang "Old MacDonald Had a Farm".

When Fructus came out of the bathroom, he found the entire class looking at him. "What?" he asked. "I can sing if I wanna."

"Do you sing anything besides farm songs?" asked Theseus.

"It's what I grew up with," snapped Fructus.

"Boys, behave yourselves," said Ms. Psyche. "It's naptime anyway. Is everyone ready for naptime?"

Andromeda put her fork down, wiped off her mouth with her napkin, and rose from her chair, pushing it into the table. "Yes, Ms. Psyche."

Ms. Danaë handed out the cots and the kids went to their spots.

Ms. Psyche saw that the whole class was exhausted—they'd been through a lot today—so she didn't put on any sleepy-time music for them. Instead, she turned out the lights, went over to her desk, and started preparing for parent-teacher conferences on Friday.

When the class woke up an hour later, it was time to go home. Bellerophon and Phaethon rolled over and rubbed their eyes. Hedone and Makaria wiped the drool off their faces. And Phobos and Perseus both high-fived each other as they sat up.

The door flew open and Helios walked into the room. "Hey, Ms. Psyche. Is Phaethon ready to go?"

"Yep. He's awake and ready," said Ms. Psyche.

"Excellent. C'mon, dude! We need to go to the store to pick something up for dinner."

Phaethon ran out the door with Helios.

Cassiopeia walked in, dressed in a regal-looking outfit that made her look too powerful. "When are the conferences?" she demanded.

"Yours is at noon on Friday," said Ms. Danaë.

Cassiopeia nodded. "Let's go, Andromeda! Mommy forgot she had a hair appointment today!"

Andromeda gave Perseus a hug. "See you guys tomorrow!" she giggled.

PERSEUS' HOUSE

It was bath time at Perseus' house. And it was also Dictys-Perseus bonding time. Danaë was downstairs cleaning up the dishes from dinner that night, and Dictys thought it was a good time to break some bad news to his son.

"Hey, guess what?" said Dictys.

"What?" asked Perseus, making himself a bubble beard.

"No school on Friday." Dictys washed the soap out of Perseus' hair. "So, you'll be hanging out with Uncle P for the day."

Perseus was pretty pissed about that, so he slapped the water, soaking Dictys.

"Yeah, I know it sucks," said Dictys. "But sometimes in life, we have to do things that suck…like hold your mother's hand while she was in labor with you…and stuff like that."

Perseus glared at his father. Then he spotted his mother in the doorway. "Is it true, Mommy? I have to play with Uncle P on Friday?"

"I'm sorry, honey. But he's been bugging us to let him hang out with you," said Danaë. "Besides, you might have fun. It's just best to get it over with now so we don't worry about it later."

Perseus was _really_ pissed now. He'd been having a great day…until _this_ happened. "Okay," he grumbled bitterly. "I guess I'll go out with Uncle P."

"That a boy, dude," said Dictys. "Who knows? You might have fun with the guy."

 **Okay, so any ideas on what Polydectes and Perseus should do on Friday? And what will happen at conferences? Stay tuned!**


	7. Chapter 6: Perseus' Fun Day

**This one goes out to Luminous Crystal for the Perseus/Uncle P day! And I hope you all enjoy this chapter. There won't be too many preschooler moments in this one, but it should be funny all the same!**

 **WARNING: SOME CRAZY STUFF WILL HAPPEN IN THIS CHAPTER…JUST SAYIN'. I OWN NOTHING, OF COURSE!**

 **CHAPTER 6**

 **THURSDAY NIGHT**

Danaë had just put a very grumpy Perseus to bed and was heading downstairs to take some Advil. She had heard Perseus screaming and crying all night because of his Uncle P day tomorrow.

 **3:30 PM**

Perseus and Danaë walked into the house and Danaë got Perseus a cookie and a glass of milk (his after-school snack).

"Thank you, Mommy," Danaë prompted.

Perseus grunted and folded his arms. "I hate Uncle P."

 **4:32 PM**

Dictys came home from fishing (that's his profession—deal with it). He gave Perseus a hug and gave Danaë a kiss on the cheek. "How was school today?" he asked.

"Fine. What did we do today, honey?" Danaë asked.

"Read a story about a happy pumpkin," Perseus grumbled into his coloring book.

"Whad up?" asked Dictys.

"He's mad because Uncle P's picking him up tomorrow for their fun day," said Danaë, throwing some noodles into a pot for tonight's dinner.

 **8:00 PM**

"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Perseus. "I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED!"

Dictys had just pulled Perseus out of the tub and was drying him off. While Dictys helped Perseus brush his teeth, Perseus screamed, "LIFE SUCKS!" As Dictys was putting lotion on Perseus, Perseus screamed, "I DON'T WANNA GO OUT TOMORROW, DADDY!"

Finally, Dictys put Perseus into some pajamas. "Do you want footies tonight?" he asked Perseus.

Perseus pushed Dictys' hands out of the way and bolted downstairs, completely naked. Danaë was reading emails on her phone. When she saw her naked son, she looked at him…then at the windows. "Honey, remember how Andromeda lives right across the street? Well, I don't think you should be running naked through the house because—what happens if she sees you?"

"It's okay. We love each other," Perseus griped. "Mommy, can I stay home tomorrow?"

Danaë felt his forehead. "No, honey. You're not running a fever."

"But my tummy hurts," said Perseus, clutching his stomach.

"Honey, listen," said Danaë as Dictys came down the stairs. "I'm sure you don't want to go out tomorrow with Uncle P, and I know he's pretty creepy and gross. So if you ever feel unsafe around Uncle P, ask to call Daddy. Daddy will have his phone on. If Uncle P asks, just tell him you're asking Daddy a fishing question."

"Will he believe me?"

"Probably not," said Dictys. "But try to go with it. I told him you needed to be home by one for your nap."

 **FRIDAY MORNING – 7:00 AM**

Danaë was getting ready for parent-teacher conferences and Dictys was taking a shower. Perseus was still sleeping. He was up all night last night having nightmares about what Uncle P had in mind for a "fun day".

Dictys climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. He looked anxiously at the clock. "Okay, he'll be here by nine," he said. "So Perseus can play in the playroom until Polydectes comes."

Danaë smiled. "Okay. It should keep Perseus distracted."

Around eight-thirty, Perseus was dressed and playing in his playroom. He was playing a fishing game. Dictys was sitting at the kitchen table, awaiting his terrible brother's arrival.

At exactly nine, the doorbell rang. Dictys sighed and got up to open the door.

Standing there was a tall man in a shirt and blue jeans. He looked like Dictys. Dictys had a short, gray beard that was well-trimmed. But this guy didn't have a beard.

"Hey," said Dictys nervously.

"What is happenin'?" asked Polydectes. "How come you never call me and we go play golf or something, Dictys?"

"Because I don't like you," said Dictys.

"Right…" said Polydectes. "So, where is the little shit—I mean…the little prince?"

"Perseus is inside in his playroom," said Dictys flatly.

"What does he do all day? Play with rocks?" asked Polydectes.

"No," said Dictys. "He's in preschool most of the day with Danaë."

Polydectes smirked. "I love your wife. Can we do it, like, once and then you can have her back?"

"No," said Dictys, leading Polydectes into the house.

"My house is bigger," said Polydectes.

"It's not good to have hubris," said Dictys firmly. He pushed open the door to the playroom.

Perseus was on the floor, watching a kid's show about animals. The narrator was teaching Perseus how to count to ten using animals.

" _So, kids, how many Pegasi do we see? Let's count them! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! Very good, kids! There are ten Pegasi_!" screamed the narrator.

Polydectes smiled. He remembered back in Ancient Times when he used to count to ten by throwing rocks at Dictys. Ah…life was much more fun back then!

"Perseus," said Dictys. "Uncle P's here."

Perseus turned around, turned an awful shade of white, and said, "Hi."

"Hey, P-man," said Polydectes. "Ready for a fun day today?"

"Um…"

"Come on, dude," said Polydectes. "We're going to see a Halloween movie."

It was October, so Polydectes thought it would be fun to torture—uh, I mean—take Perseus to do some Halloween-related things.

"Okay," Perseus gave in.

Dictys looked at Perseus, then at his terrible brother. "Okay, have him home by one for his nap."

"He can just nap at my place," said Polydectes. "I don't think you've seen my house, have you?"

"Yeah. 'Member? You locked me up in the closet and threatened to bake me in a pie," Perseus snapped.

"Dude, that was just part of a game," Polydectes said quickly. "Well, ta-ta, Dick!"

Dictys rolled his eyes and shut the door, leaving Perseus in the care of his uncle.

 **MS. HECATE'S ACADEMY**

It was nine, which meant that Psyche and Danaë were facing Bellerophon's parents: Glaucus and Eurynome.

"So, thank you both for coming in," said Psyche. "This won't take long, I promise. First, we want to tell you that Bellerophon is doing very well this year. He is progressing well with his numbers, colors, and letters. I think our goal for him is to get him to start early reading and math."

"He's having accidents a lot at home," said Glaucus.

"What kind?" asked Psyche.

"Well, he's been breaking things and accidentally hurting people," said Eurynome.

"Oh, he does that here, too," said Danaë. "But Psyche and I think it can be fixed very easily. It's just a phase; he'll grow out of it."

 **PERSEUS AND UNCLE P**

"Um…I'm not old enough to sit in the front, Uncle P," said Perseus.

"Well, guess what? I make the rules," Polydectes replied bitterly. "Now shut the hell up and stay still so I can buckle you in!"

As they were driving, Perseus was looking out the window. They passed Andromeda's house, where he saw Andromeda riding her pink tricycle up and down the driveway. Polydectes honked the horn and she fell off, scraping her knee pretty badly. She left her bike in the middle of the driveway and ran inside, crying for her father.

"That's my friend," said Perseus.

"Okay," said Polydectes. "Whatever. And look at that…we're almost at the movies!"

They drove for several moments of silence, until Polydectes broke the ice and told Perseus something. "So, when we get into the theater, we're seeing an R-rated movie. They're going to ask how old you are. You will say that you're seventeen and that you have something that stopped you from growing when you were three. Got it, kid?"

"Yes, sir," said Perseus.

They found a spot in the parking lot. Perseus unbuckled the seatbelt and Polydectes grabbed his nephew's hand and pulled him over to the movie theater.

"Hello," said the ticket girl. "How may I help you?"

"Two for _Terrors in Tartarus_ , please," said Polydectes, handing the woman some drachmas.

"Okay. You two have fun." Then she held out her hand and stopped Perseus. "How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen," Perseus said in a lower voice. "I have something where I can't grow passed the height of a three-year-old."

The woman shrugged. "Okay. You two enjoy the movie."

This movie theater didn't have snacks and Perseus got angry, so he kicked Polydectes in the leg. This resulted in Polydectes carrying Perseus upside down into the movie theater.

"SHUT…THE…HELL…UP!" yelled Polydectes. "Good thing we're the only two people in this theater, otherwise I would have to punch you somewhere else. And if you don't behave, I'll bake you in a pie."

Perseus shut up after that and didn't talk until the movie was over. They had seen a movie about the monsters that lived in Tartarus. Perseus had heard stories about these guys from Makaria at school, so he sort of knew what was coming.

After the movie ended, Perseus was shaking like a leaf in his seat.

Polydectes yawned. "Well, let's go. That was awful."

"Uncle P, I have to go home now," said Perseus. "I really feel unsafe when I'm around you."

"Why? Is it because I eat little children who don't behave themselves at the movies? Or is it because I sing dirty songs in the shower? Or is it because I spy on your mother through the telescope in my room?" Polydectes stopped in his tracks. "Um…perhaps I've said too much."

"No, Uncle P. You hurted Andromeda and now she's gonna be mad at me forever."

Suddenly, Perseus saw Andromeda walk out of a theater with her parents. The sign on top of the room read: PRETTY GODDESS II: THE PRINCESS WARS OF OLYMPUS. Perseus wanted to see that one, even though it was a girly movie.

Andromeda walked over to Perseus and gave him a big hug (because Perseus likes those). Perseus saw a Band-Aid on her knee, but she looked okay otherwise.

Cassiopeia and Cepheus looked at Polydectes like he was some creeper taking a kid out for the day. Polydectes looked back and patted Perseus on the head. "Howdy-doo, y'all," he said happily. "I'm not a creeper. I'm just taking my nephew out for the day because my stupid brother Dictys can't fish with him."

Andromeda looked at Perseus, who was trying hard not to throw up. "You wanna come to my house and play?" she asked him.

"I'm sorry, but Perseus is in my care today," said Polydectes. "We must be off now. Lots of stuff to do! TTFN!" And he dragged Perseus back to his car.

"Can I go play at her house, Uncle P?" Perseus asked as he buckled himself in.

"No," snapped Polydectes. "And for our next fun activity, we'll be going to the pumpkin patch to pick out a pumpkin." And he drove off.

Perseus had never been to a pumpkin patch before (or he had and he just didn't remember). Either way, he liked touching all the pumpkins he could get his hands on.

When they arrived at the pumpkin patch (Olympus Acres), Polydectes told Perseus to wait patiently in the pumpkin patch while he went to get something from a nearby shed.

Perseus didn't really understand what was going on, so he began touching all the pumpkins and naming them. He was about halfway down a row of pumpkins when he heard a loud noise from behind him. Uncle P was driving a tractor towards him. On the front of the tractor read: KILL U ALL. Perseus couldn't read yet, but he was now deathly afraid of his uncle. So he started to run.

Just as Perseus thought Uncle P was going to run him over, Polydectes stopped the tractor, got off, and laughed. "You…you should've seen your pathetic, little face!" he screamed. "Come on! Do you wanna know about our next fun activity?"

Perseus squeaked.

"I'll take that as a yes," said Polydectes. "Dude, we're going back to my house and we're going to play a game."

Polydectes and Perseus headed into Polydectes' house, a huge, three-story mansion. Polydectes put on the TV for Perseus while he made him a sandwich. While Perseus was distracted, Polydectes put whipped cream on the sandwich and placed the two slices of bread together. "Kiddo, time for lunch!"

Perseus ate his lunch in silence. Polydectes just sat there, his fingers intertwined, watching Perseus eat the sandwich. When Perseus had finished, Polydectes looked at his nephew. "So, kiddo, what did you think of the sandwich?"

"It was good," said Perseus. "What time is it?"

"One," replied Polydectes. "I think it's naptime, huh?"

Perseus nodded. So Polydectes got him ready for naptime.

"You seriously sleep with your shirt on?" asked Polydectes.

"Yeah. Daddy said if I'm with someone I have to sleep with it on."

"Your dad's a moron," snapped Polydectes. "Now, sleep with your shirt off before I bake you in a pie!"

Perseus didn't like that sound of that, so he took off his shirt and threw set it aside.

"What do you usually do during naptime?" asked Polydectes.

"Well, when I'm home, Daddy reads me my fishing book," said Perseus. "I brought it with."

Polydectes groaned as he sat with Perseus on the bed and opened _Pretty Fishies_. " _Good morning, pretty fishies_ ," he read in a monotone. " _Let's say good morning to all our pretty fish friends! Good morning, pretty fish friends! We love you!_ This book sucks."

"Uncle P, why do you gots a telescope in your room?"

"So I can watch your mother sleep because I have a crush on her."

"But she's married."

"Naptime's over," said Polydectes quickly. "You're being a naughty boy today, Perseus. Now go sit in the closet!"

Perseus got in the closet and Polydectes locked the door. Perseus was used to this kind of thing because Polydectes often babysat him…and the closet was usually made into the "time-out corner". While Danaë and Dictys were home, they always put Perseus in his room for time-outs. So that meant that the closet idea was a little extreme.

MS. HECATE'S ACADEMY

Conferences were almost over. Their last parent was Aeson, the father of Jason. Jason had been adopted by Aeson when he was a baby, so he didn't have a mother because Aeson decided to become a single father to Jason.

Aeson walked into the classroom and sat across from Psyche and Danaë. The teachers told him Jason was doing very well and that he was going to work on reading next semester. Aeson smiled at the positivity of his son's teachers and went home.

"Well," said Danaë, "I hope Cassiopeia looks at those pictures Andromeda drew of her."

Cassiopeia and Cepheus had recently discovered that Andromeda was afraid of her own mother and drew a picture. The picture contained Andromeda and Cepheus, and Cassiopeia in the background with horns coming out of her head, wearing a red robe, and having large, pointy teeth.

"I wonder how Perseus' day went today," said Psyche.

"I don't think I _want_ to know."

PERSEUS AND UNCLE P

Perseus had been sitting in the closet for a good hour before Danaë finally came to get him from his creepy uncle's house.

As soon as he heard the doorbell, he started pounding on the door.

"Danaë!" Polydectes exclaimed. "Come on in, my beautiful flower!"

Danaë walked into the house. "Where's my son?"

"MOMMY!" yelled Perseus. "I'M IN THE CLOSET! UNCLE P PUT ME IN HERE BECAUSE I WAS A BAD KID, I GUESS!"

Danaë slapped Polydectes across the face.

"Oh…so this is the thanks I get for watching your son?" snarled Polydectes.

"Yes. Get my son out of the closet!"

"Do you wanna have sex with me first?"

"NO!"

"Can I have a kiss?"

"NO!"

"How about a hug?"

"DEFINITELY NOT!" Danaë flung the door open, grabbed her son, and bolted for the door. "DICTYS WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!"

Polydectes' only response was, "YOU'RE HOT WHEN YOU SLEEP!"

 **So what did you guys think of Uncle P? I tried to make him as true to the myths as I could, and in the myths, he wasn't really a nice dude…always trying to get poor Danaë to marry him and all that. Should I do another chapter like this with another preschooler and someone they don't like babysitting them? Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 7: The Play-Date

**Okay, readers and writers and everyone else who doesn't like to do either of those things. Here is another chapter! This one doesn't have to do with Ms. Hecate's Academy, but it has to do with playdates, something preschoolers need to have once in a while!**

 **CHAPTER 7**

It was still Friday, the day of parent-teacher conferences. Danaë had just picked up Perseus from Uncle P's house. After she put Perseus into his car seat, she began to drive him home. "Tell me what happened, honey," she ordered.

"Well, I told him I couldn't sit in the front because I'm not big enough," Perseus said as he looked out the window at Andromeda's house. Gods, that girl was always riding her trike. Perseus just loved how her dark-brown hair came out from under her pink helmet, how the pink and purple streamers on her trike flowed in the wind…

"So he put you in the front," Danaë replied. "Then what?"

"Then he told me that we'd be seeing an R-rated movie and to lie and tell the person I was seventeen and that I had something that didn't let me grow passed the age of three," said Perseus angrily. "Then, Mommy, he taked me to a pumpkin patch and tried to roll me over with the tractor. Then he made me a sandwich with whipped cream. Then he readed me a book and threw me in the closet. Then you came and saved the day."

"Honey, Mommy's sorry she couldn't play with you today," Danaë replied, turning into their driveway. "Maybe tomorrow you and Andromeda can play together at Andromeda's house. Mommy's going to dinner with Daddy, Eros, and Ms. Psyche."

"Where's Hedone going?"

"She's going to play at Mr. Ares' house," she replied.

They pulled into the driveway and saw Dictys sitting on the porch, his arms crossed. "Hey, kiddo," he said to Perseus. "How was it today?"

Perseus told him everything Uncle P and he had done today, and Dictys' expression turned cold and hard. "Okay," he said. "Dude, go play in the playroom while Mommy and Daddy talk for a bit."

Perseus shrugged and ran into his playroom. He didn't know what his parents were talking about, so he turned on his favorite show, _Mythology Madness_ , and began to watch it.

Perseus was still pretty tired, because little kids get worn out by long days with their relatives. So he decided to build himself a pillow fort. Let's see…he needed some pillows and some blankets. There was a couch that had cushions on it in the corner of the playroom, and cushions were kind of like pillows, right? So Perseus grabbed those really quick and piled them together. Then he grabbed the blankets and put them onto the cushions. Then he grabbed his nasty fish pillow and snuggled up to it. Even though that night's episode was on Medusa, Perseus lost all interest and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Danaë and Dictys walked into the room because they wanted to tell Perseus that Uncle P wouldn't be watching him for quite a while. When they found him asleep, they decided to just leave him there. The kid was obviously very tired because he didn't get a nap in today. So while Danaë went to make dinner, Dictys sat on the floor and watched the show with his sleeping son.

 **THE FOLLOWING MORNING**

Danaë and Dictys were up, drinking coffee, when Perseus came down the stairs. He was in a much better mood this morning.

Perseus ate breakfast with his parents and ran into his playroom. Then Dictys took him to the park while Danaë got sandwiches ready for lunch.

While Perseus was at the park, he saw Helios and Phaethon playing basketball. Helios was kicking his son's ass in the game, but he acting like Phaethon was doing better than he was.

Dictys put Perseus' bike in front of him. "Okay, little buddy," Dictys said. "Daddy took off the training wheels, so now you can ride your bike like a big boy."

"But Andromeda still rides a trike, Daddy," said Perseus.

"Well, when she sees you riding a bike, maybe she'll want to ride one, too," said Dictys.

Perseus got three inches before he fell off. The second time, Helios caught him before he fell again and steadied him.

Perseus finally got the hang of using his bike, but it was lunchtime now, so both fathers took their sons home.

When Danaë opened the door, she hugged the boys and sat them down at the table, where they all ate their peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.

 **4:30 PM**

"Dictys! We have to leave soon!" Danaë yelled up the stairs.

"Coming, honey!" Dictys replied, tying his tie and going to get Perseus from his nap. "Little dude, time to get up and go play at Andromeda's house."

Perseus shot out of bed and ran into the car before Dictys could say anything else.

Andromeda lived right across the street from Perseus, yet he'd never actually been to her house before. But when he got there, he saw that her house was just as big as his. He could see lights on and hear Mrs. Cassiopeia screaming at somebody. Yeah, he could hear that all the way in the car.

Dictys pulled Perseus to the door and lifted him up to ring the bell. Cepheus came to the door and opened it. "Hey, guys," he said. "Come on in."

Dictys motioned for Danaë to join them inside for a minute and followed Cepheus into the house.

"Where's Andromeda?" asked Perseus.

"Uh…somewhere," said Cepheus. "Listen, kid, if Cassiopeia seems a little evil tonight, don't take it personally. She's mad because she saw this picture Andromeda drew and it made her look like some creepy monster or something."

But Cassiopeia wasn't upset that Perseus and his parents were there. They found Evil Freakin' Queen Lady at the stove, reading directions for making chicken tenders. And where was Andromeda? Why, she was in her playroom, playing with her dolls. Apparently, she was trying to give one of them a physical, because she had a red stethoscope around her neck.

Cepheus and Dictys looked at each other. "She's in the sociodramatic stage, I guess," said Cepheus. "That's what Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë told us, at least. Andromeda, honey. Perseus is here."

Andromeda looked up at her father, then at Dictys, then at Perseus. She gave all three of them a wide smile, put her stuff down, and ran to give Perseus a hug.

"Well, thanks for watching him," said Danaë, coming up behind them with Cassiopeia. "He's been asking to play with her all week."

"Well, it's okay since I don't have to take care of that Theseus," said Cassiopeia flatly. "Andromeda, stop playing doctor. Play something ladylike."

Andromeda stood up and looked at Danaë. "Ms. Danaë, this is why I drew that picture. I only like my daddy because he takes me to fun places and buys me ice cream cones." She glared at her mother. "I'm really scared of my mommy. I like being a kid, not a lady."

"Well, you're at that age, honey, where you can be a kid and everyone will be okay with it, too," said Danaë, giving Cassiopeia a look like, _Don't mess up this girl's life, bitch_.

Cassiopeia gulped before showing Perseus' parents to the door. "When will you be back to get him?" she asked hopefully.

"Nine? Ten at the latest," said Dictys. "Have fun!" And they bolted for their car.

Back in the playroom, Andromeda and Perseus were hunting through Andromeda's box of fun toys and things. Andromeda pulled out some dolls, and Perseus pulled out a few magic wands. Finally, they both looked at each other.

"What do you wanna do?" asked Andromeda.

Perseus shrugged. "I don't know. What's for dinner?"

"Chicken and fries," said Andromeda. "But that's in a while. We get to play till then. We could go outside and take turns riding my trike."

Perseus was about to answer, but then he remembered that boys weren't supposed to ride girl trikes. Gods, Theseus and Phaethon would _never_ let him live it down!

"Hey, we could play princess castle," said Perseus. "You're the princess and I have to serve you."

"Okay," said Andromeda. She put on a pink princess dress, put a fake crown in her hair, and picked up a pink magic wand. "I am Princess Andromeda, daughter of Mommy and Daddy! My daddy's the only one who's nice, and my mommy's mean!"

"O, Princess Andromeda," said Perseus, getting on his knees. "How am I supposed to serve you?"

"I want some candy," said Andromeda. "So go get me some."

Perseus didn't know where the candy was, so he headed outside into the kitchen.

Cepheus and Cassiopeia weren't around, so Perseus thought he'd ask Andromeda where they could be so he could get some candy.

"What are you doing?" asked a harsh voice. Cassiopeia came out of the bathroom and was about to start dinner.

"We're playing princess castle," Perseus explained. "Andromeda's a princess and I'm her royal slave. Andromeda said she wants to eat candy now, so—"

"No," snapped Cassiopeia. "No candy for you, young man. Now go back into the playroom."

Perseus wasn't used to being snapped at because his parents were so nice. So he started to get tears in his eyes and ran back into the playroom.

Andromeda met him at the door. "What's wrong?" she asked, taking off the crown and the dress and throwing the wand on the floor.

"Your…your mommy yelled at me," Perseus cried into her shoulder.

"Yeah, I get that every single day from her," said Andromeda. "But Daddy said that she has this problem called a _period_ , and it makes girls crazy sometimes."

Perseus calmed down after that. "Can I have a hug, Princess Andromeda?"

"Sure, Slave Perseus. This game is boring anyway. Let's watch a movie!"

Andromeda and Perseus ran outside and into the living room, where they found Cepheus in front of the TV.

"Daddy? Can we watch a movie in the playroom?" asked Andromeda.

"Of course, honey," said Cepheus. So he took the kids into the playroom and put on a movie for them.

 **PALACE OF SPICES**

Yes, that's the name of the restaurant they all decided to go to. Dictys, Danaë, Eros, and Psyche were all sitting in a large booth, glancing at their menus. Everything was insanely expensive, like the steak was twenty drachmas or something!

"Hello, and welcome to Palace of Spices," said the waitress. "My name is Ariadne, and I'll be your waitress tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?"

All four of them ordered wine, and Ariadne ran to get the bottle, along with some wine glasses.

"So," said Eros, looking at Dictys, "where's Perseus tonight?"

"He's at Andromeda's house for dinner," Dictys replied, sipping his wine like a big, fancy man.

Psyche smiled. "I knew those two would be great friends."

"So, tell us about Hedone's day off yesterday," said Danaë.

"Well, she hung out with me while Psyche did the conferences," said Eros. "So we went around and shot a bunch of gods and whatnot."

Dictys shrugged. "Now, when you say _shot_ , you mean, like, with a gun?"

"A love arrow," Eros clarified quickly. "Hedone wants to be just like her daddy when she grows up."

"I think that's great," said Dictys, although he didn't really give two craps.

 **ANDROMEDA'S**

Meanwhile, back at Andromeda's house, Perseus and Andromeda were chasing each other around the playroom. Perseus had just knocked over a castle of blocks that Andromeda had made, resulting in her chasing him all over the playroom.

But eventually, they got bored with the chasing game, so Andromeda decided it was a good idea to sneak up the stairs and show Perseus her bedroom.

"Mommy says I shouldn't bring boys up here because she doesn't want me losing my virginity, whatever that means," said Andromeda. "But I know you won't take my virginity."

"Probably not," said Perseus. "I don't even know what that is."

"Do you wanna see my big-girl bed?"

Perseus had never seen a "big-girl bed" before, but he assumed it was just like the bed he had at his house. "Sure," he said.

So Andromeda led him into her room and presented her bed to him. Her bed had a pink comforter on it with pink pillows. Her walls were painted pink with yellow ducks on it. Perseus actually got a little sick to his stomach because of it.

"Uh…nice room," Perseus told her.

"Thanks. Daddy painted the walls."

"It's so…girly."

"I know. Now what?" This girl got bored with stuff _way_ too easily.

Before Perseus could say something, there was a knock on the door.

Cepheus' head came into the room, followed by someone Perseus didn't like.

"Well, look who it is," said the other guy. "It's my favorite nephew!"

"NOOOO! I HATE UNCLE P!" screamed Perseus, hiding behind Andromeda.

"Who are you?" asked Andromeda in defense.

"My dear, I am Evil King Polydectes," said Polydectes. "Cepheus invited me over for a beer and…well…Perseus is here, too! How convenient. You know, I locked him in my closet yesterday and attempted to keep him there for a long time, but Danaë came and saved him, that crazy—"

"I like Ms. Danaë!" yelled Andromeda.

"Andromeda, be nice to Polydectes," said Cepheus in a stern tone. "He'll be babysitting you next Friday because Mommy and Daddy are going out to dinner with Ms. Psyche."

"Who names their kid Polydectes?" Perseus demanded.

"Well, who names their kid Perseus?" asked Polydectes harshly.

"Smart people do that. And when people write your name on the computer, there's a red line under your name, and Mommy says the computer doesn't know it," snarled Perseus. "I'll kick your ba—"

"C'mon, Polydectes," said Cepheus. "We'll head into the basement for a few drinks while the kids eat dinner. Mommy said the food's ready, Andromeda."

Perseus' palms were sweaty, so he didn't take Andromeda's hand as they walked into the kitchen. Cassiopeia was putting food on plates and putting the plates on the table.

"Thanks, Mrs. C," said Perseus as he ate his chicken tenders.

"Uh-huh," said Cassiopeia. "Andromeda, take your vitamins."

Andromeda took the chewable tablets her mother was handing to her and put them in her mouth. She chewed for a few moments and swallowed them, pulling a face.

"Stupid Uncle P," said Perseus. "He's a jerk-head."

Cassiopeia wasn't there, so Andromeda laughed happily. "Yeah, he sounds like Mommy."

"So…um…" Perseus tried to form a sentence. Why was talking to girls so difficult when you're three? "How's your food?"

"It's good," said Andromeda. "But if we don't eat all of it, we don't get dessert. That's our rule."

"What other rules do you have?" asked Perseus.

"Well, I have to go to bed at eight-thirty every night or Mommy will throw me in the dungeon."

"You have a dungeon?"

"Well, it's just the garage. Daddy got some fireworks last Christmas and he accidentally blew up our old dungeon, so now our house is like normal peoples' houses."

"Wow…"

"Yep, but don't worry. We won't go in there tonight. Oh, and we don't hit, scratch, or bite people because that's not nice. We need to use our words."

"Sounds like something Ms. Psyche would tell us," said Perseus.

"Yeah. I love Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë. Ms. Medusa freaks me out."

"She freaks _everyone_ out," Perseus said, finishing his food and rubbing his stomach. "Your mom's a good cook."

"Oh, she didn't make that. She opened a bag and threw the stuff in the oven," said Andromeda.

Once they were done, Andromeda and Perseus ran downstairs to see her father and Polydectes laughing at something.

"What's so funny?" asked Perseus.

"P-Perseus," Polydectes giggled, "I-I gotta tell ya, this dude Cepheus is, like, my bestest friend ever!"

"Daddy, we ate all of our food. Can we have ice cream now?" asked Andromeda.

"Uh…ask your mother," Cepheus replied, spilling beer all over the bar.

Andromeda and Perseus ran upstairs to Cassiopeia, who was doing laundry. "Mommy, we ate our dinner. Can we have some ice cream?" asked Andromeda.

"Ask your father," said Cassiopeia.

"But he said to ask you."

"Yes. There's ice cream in the freezer."

So Andromeda and Perseus both got some spoons and began eating the ice cream out of the container.

"Mm…yummy!" Perseus shouted with delight. But he was still pretty full from dinner, so he and Andromeda decided to save some ice cream for later.

It was pushing eight-thirty when the two preschoolers began to get tired. Polydectes and Cepheus were passed out at the bar downstairs, and Cassiopeia was taking a hot bath upstairs. She specifically told the kids not to bother her or she'd kill the pair of them, because that's the kind of sweet queen she was.

Andromeda and Perseus were sleeping peacefully next to each other by the time nine rolled around. Perseus had his arms around Andromeda's belly as they slept.

Finally, around nine-thirty, the doorbell rang. By this point, Cassiopeia was out of the tub and in her fluffy, pink robe as she answered the door. "Oh, hi," she said to Danaë and Dictys.

"Hey. How were the kids tonight?" asked Dictys.

"Fine," Cassiopeia said shortly. "Your son is snuggling with Andromeda. I _hope_ she didn't lose her virginity!"

"Why would you be worried about that?" asked Danaë, who was getting tired of Cassiopeia's attitude towards her son. "They're three."

Cassiopeia grunted and led the pair of them to the playroom.

Dictys and Danaë saw their son snuggling with Andromeda on the floor. Perseus was still holding her and Andromeda was turned towards him now.

"Oh, they look so cute," Danaë gushed quietly. "Honey, get a picture."

Dictys took out his phone, took the picture, and walked over towards Perseus. "Perseus, it's time to go home now."

Perseus was fast asleep, so Dictys picked him up, said thanks to Cassiopeia for babysitting him, and took his son home, where he placed Perseus in his bed.

And what happened to Andromeda? Cassiopeia left her in the playroom, so when Andromeda woke up the next morning, she had a mini panic attack because she didn't know where she was.

 **Should I do more playdates?**


	9. Chapter 8: THESEUS!

**This one is from Paperboy Jacky, who gave me some ideas for what I could write. I hope you guys enjoy it.**

 **Oh, and I just got this new idea! So you guys know how preschoolers—when they get sick—spread stuff to their classmates? Well, what if there's this "plague" going around (like the stomach flu or something) and all the kids give it to each other? That would be a fun chapter to write!**

 **CHAPTER 8**

So after a long, long weekend, all the preschoolers seemed to be happy to get back to preschool once again. Well, if _they_ weren't happy, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë were happy and excited to hear about the kids' weekends.

"Good morning, Phaethon," said Ms. Psyche. "Why don't you have a seat on the rug."

"Okay, Ms. Psyche," said Phaethon, giving Clymene a hug and running over to the carpet.

Theseus came running into the room and hid behind the cubbies. As soon as Andromeda came into the room with Cepheus, Theseus stuck his leg out and tripped her as she was saying hello to the teachers. Naturally, Andromeda began crying and Ms. Danaë gave her a hug because—like Perseus—Andromeda loves hugs.

"Theseus!" Ms. Psyche screamed. "We don't trip people. Now go sit in the timeout chair!"

Theseus looked at the floor sadly and went to the corner of the room to sit in the chair.

Ms. Danaë led the rest of the class to the carpet and sat on the floor next to Bellerophon. "How was your weekend, Bellerophon?" she asked him.

Bellerophon smiled up at his teacher. "I loved it, Ms. Danaë. I played with my new puppy. He's fun and he knocks things over. My mommy says that he reminds her of me 'cause I knock stuff over, too."

"Well, that's great that you got a new puppy," Ms. Danaë said. "What's his name?"

"His name is Cinnamon," said Bellerophon happily. "Though I wanted to call him Dumper because he looks like a piece of poop."

"That's a lovely name," said Ms. Danaë.

Ms. Psyche cleared her throat loudly and everyone stopped talking. "Good morning, everyone," she said. "I hope everyone had a nice weekend. Who wants to share what they did?"

"Uncle Poly-Stupid-Head locked me in a closet, Ms. Psyche," Perseus said with his hand in the air. "And then I played at Andromeda's house on Saturday and we ate chicken and fries."

"Well, that's wonderful," said Ms. Psyche. "And, class, it's not nice when we call people _stupid_ , but people who are evil—like King Polydectes—are an exception. How about you, Hebe?"

"I walked in on Daddy while he was in the shower and then he said the F word a lot," said Hebe. "So now I know what the F word is."

"Uh…let's not say that, right?" said Ms. Psyche.

"Nope. That's a naughty word."

"Then how come you said it to me when we were playing this weekend?" snapped Fructus.

"Because I didn't know what it meant, dude," said Hebe. "Oh, and Mommy had diarrhea this weekend so we couldn't play together."

Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë looked at each other. "Well," said Ms. Danaë quickly, "thanks for sharing, Hebe."

"What about you—Theseus, stop picking your nose," snapped Ms. Psyche. "What about you, Phaethon? And thank you for raising your hand."

"Ms. Psyche, I learneded how to ride a bike like a big boy," said Phaethon. "And my daddy taked me to the playground and we played together."

"That's wonderful," said Ms. Psyche. "Now, it's great you all had such a wonderful weekend. Now, it's time to do our morning activities." She flipped over a piece of paper with a picture of the sky on it. "Let's do the weather." She pulled out a Popsicle stick from the cup on her lap. "Ms. Danaë, would you mind doing the weather?"

"Absolutely," said Ms. Danaë, taking the stick from Ms. Psyche. "So, it looks like Hedone's helping us out this morning," Ms. Danaë continued while Ms. Psyche took Theseus into the hallway to give him a talking-to.

Hedone got up and stood next to Ms. Danaë.

"So, Hedone, what's the weather like today? Is it hot?" asked Ms. Danaë, fanning herself. "Or is it cold?" she asked, feigning the chills.

"It's cold," said Hedone, putting a blue sticker on the sky picture.

"And do you see clouds outside? Or is it sunny?"

"I see lots and lots of clouds," said Hedone proudly, putting a cloud on the board.

"And is it raining?"

"Yeah. A lot," said Hedone. "But I like rain."

"I think a lot of people like rain," Ms. Danaë said. "So, great work today, Hedone. How about you go put this sticker by your name for being such a great helper!"

Hedone took a rainbow sticker from her and ran to put it on her chart.

"While Ms. Psyche's still in the hallway," said Ms. Danaë, "it's time for our calendar. So…let's see…Bellerophon, it's time to help with the calendar."

As Bellerophon was going up to the board, he stepped on Perseus' hand. "Sorry," he said as Perseus gave him a nasty look, "it was an accident." Then he walked up to Ms. Danaë and knocked over the cup of Popsicle sticks. "Sorry," he said.

"That's okay, honey," said Ms. Danaë. "So, Bellerophon, what day is it?"

"Monday!"

"Good. And what month is it?"

"October!"

"Perfect! And what was the day yesterday?"

"Sunday!"

"What's tomorrow?"

"Tuesday!"

"Wow," said Ms. Danaë, " _someone's_ been practicing his days of the week!" She gave Bellerophon a sticker and he stuck it to his chart.

Ms. Psyche came back into the room and put Theseus on the carpet next to Andromeda. "Andromeda, Theseus would like to say something to you."

"I'm sorry, Andromeda," Theseus said miserably.

"That's okay, Theseus," Andromeda said reluctantly.

"Why don't you two play together during outside time?" asked Ms. Psyche. "You two might have fun together. It stopped raining, so I guess we can go out and play."

This news didn't make Andromeda too happy, but she nodded and smiled at Theseus.

Perseus ran over to her and took her hand. "C'mon, Princess Andromeda! Let's go on the tire swing with Hebe and Fructus."

"Can Theseus come, too?" asked Andromeda.

Perseus shrugged. Then he took her off to the side. "Listen, Princess Andromeda, Theseus is a naughty boy. I had a playdate with him last week and he bit my hand so hard I had to go to Asclepius to get these things called stitches."

Andromeda's stomach churned. "R-Really?"

Perseus smiled. "No, not really. But he's mean."

And it turned out that Perseus was absolutely right. As soon as Andromeda invited Theseus onto the tire swing, she decided that she would be the one to push it. So she began to spin with swing around. Apart from the annoying squeals of Fructus—who shouted out nothing but words in farm language—no activity was really going on.

Then, as Theseus was coming around the corner, he stood up and switched his position so his back was toward the center and his feet were sticking out. Can you guess where this is going? Theseus stuck out his foot and kicked Andromeda hard in the face! Andromeda fell into the woodchips, her hands over her face.

Perseus, being the chivalrous child he was, did an almighty leap off the swing and ran towards Andromeda's side. Her hands were a dark-red color and she was crying.

"Someone go get Ms. Psyche!" screamed Perseus. "Andromeda's bleedin'! Don't worry, Andromeda! I'll fix you!"

He helped Andromeda sit up and asked her to remove her hands, but Andromeda said no.

Hebe and Fructus stopped swining and came down to help the hero. "That doesn't look good," said Hebe. "Why's she dripping red stuff? When I bleed, my blood's yellow. It kinda looks like pee."

"Uh…yeah," said Perseus. "It's complicated. Do I look like a doctor to you?"

"No," said Hebe.

"What happened?!" screamed Ms. Psyche, bending down to examine Andromeda's face.

Andromeda tried to answer, but she was still in tears.

"I'll tell her," said Perseus proudly. "While she was pushing the swing around and stuff, Theseus broke the rule and he moved. Then his feet came out and kickeded her!"

Ms. Psyche sighed warily. "Thank you, honey," she said, trying to keep her cool. "Perseus, please go get your mother and tell her Andromeda needs Miss Hestia. I'll go speak to Theseus."

"Can you slap him?" asked Fructus. For some odd reason, he enjoyed when people got slapped, probably because Demeter slapped Triptolemus a lot (playfully, of course).

Ms. Psyche looked at him. "No," she said bluntly, walking over to where Jason and Phaethon were sitting in the sandbox, building a sand house. "Boys, have you seen Theseus anywhere?"

"He's on the playset," said Jason quickly.

"Thanks, dear," said Ms. Psyche. "THESEUS! GET YOU BUTT DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW! YOU ARE IN _BIG_ TROUBLE, MISTER!"

Meanwhile, Ms. Danaë was walking with Andromeda and Perseus to Miss Hestia's room. She knocked.

"Come in," Hestia said in a singsong voice.

Ms. Danaë opened the door and led Andromeda over to the nurse.

"Hi, Andromeda," said Miss Hestia. "What's wrong?"

Andromeda started to sob again. Perseus, who was over by the toys, found a toy car and drove it up his mother's arm. Ms. Danaë giggled.

"Theseus kicked her while we were playing on the tire swing," said Perseus.

Miss Hestia clucked disapprovingly. "Where _is_ Theseus?"

"Psyche's talking to him," Ms. Danaë said.

"I see," said Miss Hestia. She took out a penlight. "Andromeda, let me see your nose, honey."

Andromeda's nose was still bleeding and she had a nasty cut on her cheek from falling face-first into the woodchips.

Once Miss Hestia was done looking over Andromeda, she sighed and looked at Andromeda. "Sweetie, I think your nose is broken. So I'm going to call Mommy and have her take you to see Asclepius, okay?"

Andromeda nodded.

"Ms. Danaë, how about you help her clean up while I call Cassiopeia," suggested Miss Hestia.

"Sure," Ms. Danaë replied.

"I'll hold my princess' hand," said Perseus.

While Ms. Danaë was cleaning off the dried blood on Andromeda's face, Miss Hestia called Cepheus. As she'd expected, he was still at home.

"Hi, Cepheus. This is Miss Hestia from Ms. Hecate's Academy."

"Oh, hi, Hestia. What's up?"

"Well, it seems that Andromeda had a little accident at school this morning and needs to go see Asclepius right away. Apparently, Theseus was on the tire swing and kicked her as she was spinning it. We think her nose is broken."

Cepheus gasped. "Okay. I'll be right there! Cassiopeia, I need to pick our daughter up from school! Her nose might be broken, so I need to take her to Asclepius'!"

"FINE!" Cassiopeia screamed.

Ms. Danaë and Perseus headed back to their classroom, where they saw Theseus happily reading a book.

Ms. Psyche sat at a table, doing some paperwork—probably something to do with Theseus' file.

Ms. Danaë walked back outside with Perseus, after giving Ms. Psyche a look like, _We'll talk about him later_. Psyche nodded and continued writing.

On the playground, all the remaining kids were crowded around Ms. Medusa, who usually worked at Ms. Hecate's secretary. Ms. Medusa was freaking some of the preschoolers out, but the others seemed okay with her.

Ms. Danaë tapped Ms. Medusa on the shoulder. "Uh…you're looking after them?"

"Yes," Ms. Medusa said, her hair moving angrily. "Ms. Psyche asked me to do that."

"Ms. Medusa," Fructus said, "um…is it true that you and Poseidon got romantic in Athena's temple?"

"Well, I'll tell you about that when you're a big boy," said Ms. Medusa. "Now go play with all the other children."

Fructus and Hebe ran underneath the playset and started hugging each other.

Meanwhile, Andromeda had been cleaned up a bit so Miss Hestia gave her some juice and a cookie to make her feel better. So now Andromeda was sitting on one of the beds in the office when Ms. Hecate walked in.

"Hi, girls," she said. "Andromeda, Daddy's here."

Cepheus was standing behind Ms. Hecate. "Hi, princess," he said in a quiet voice. "How are you feeling?"

"It hurts," said Andromeda, crying all over again.

"I know," Cepheus said, glaring off into the distance. "When I see Aegeus again—"

"You two can work that out amongst yourselves," said Ms. Hecate. "If you'd like, I'll ask Aegeus to give you guys a call when he picks Theseus up today."

"Thanks," said Cepheus, picking up Andromeda. "That would be awesome."

Back in Ms. Psyche's room, Ms. Psyche was giving all the kids food. She handed Fructus a plate and with a turkey sandwich, some chips, fruit, and vegetables. Then she handed Theseus his plate and glared at him.

"Ms. Psyche, will Andromeda be okay?" asked Makaria.

"She'll be fine, hon," said Ms. Psyche. "Her daddy took her to the emergency room. You just relax and eat your food."

Perseus sat at the other table with his mother, looking down sadly at his food.

"What's wrong?" asked Ms. Danaë, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Mommy, I miss Andromeda. I feel really bad about this whole thing."

"Sweetheart, it wasn't your fault. She should be good as new tomorrow, so don't worry about it."

A thunder clap interrupted lunch. All the kids freaked out, except for Theseus. He stood up and ran to the window to see what was going on.

"Theseus," Ms. Psyche said warily, " _please_ finish your food before naptime."

"But, Ms. Psyche, there's a booming sound outside!" Theseus yelled at his teacher.

"That's thunder, Theseus," said Ms. Psyche bitterly. "Guys, let's get on our cots and go to sleep now."

Ms. Danaë and Ms. Psyche handed everyone their cots and the kids found their assigned napping places. Since Fructus had gotten heartburn issues a few times, Ms. Psyche moved him into the part of the room closest to the bathroom. She also thought Phaethon would be more comfortable by her because he got frequent nightmares. And both teachers decided that Theseus needed his own spot in the room, because he was one of those preschoolers who liked to sneak around and mess up naptime for everybody.

Ms. Psyche was in a bit of a bad mood after the whole Theseus incident, so she didn't put on any music for the class today.

And so the kids continued to sleep. Makaria had her hands over her eyes like she wanted to block out any remaining lights in the room. Jason was sleeping with his butt up in the air. Theseus, as usual, was trying to get into a comfortable position, but apparently couldn't find one, so he kicked his cot a few times and fell asleep.

The other kids were sleeping. Hebe was smiling to herself as she slept. Phobos and Deimos were sucking their thumbs. And Fructus was curled up into a little ball as he slept.

The only kid who couldn't sleep was Perseus, who was still feeling very guilty about Andromeda. He tossed and turned on his cot the whole time, which was why he wasn't a happy camper when Danaë and he left to go home.

"Mommy, I still feel bad about Andromeda," said Perseus as Danaë put him into his car seat.

"Well, would it make you feel better if you saw her?" asked Danaë.

Perseus nodded. "Yes, Mommy."

Danaë smiled and pulled into Andromeda's driveway. She led Perseus up to the door and rang the doorbell.

Luckily, Cassiopeia was grocery shopping, so her much nicer husband Cepheus opened the door. "Hey," he said in a quiet voice.

"Hi, Mr. Cepheus. Perseus wanted to check up on his friend," said Danaë.

"Oh, come on in," said Cepheus. "Andromeda, your friend's here to see you."

Andromeda, who was in her princess jammies, was lying down on the couch. She had a huge, white bandage over her nose and her cheek had stitches in it. She was cuddled up with her stuffed animal, her pink blanket over her, watching _Princess of Ancient Greece_ , her favorite movie. When she saw Perseus and Ms. Danaë, she smiled weakly. "Hi," she said.

"You're alive," Perseus said quietly, going over to her and giving her a hug.

"So what happened?" asked Danaë as she and Cepheus sat on the couch with Andromeda.

"Well, Asclepius said her nose was broken, but he set it and put stitches in her cheek," said Cepheus. "He said she can go back to school tomorrow, but no tire swing for a while."

"Where's your wife?" asked Danaë.

"My beautiful flower"—Cepheus winked at her—"is shopping for food."

"Well, we just came by to see how she was doing," Danaë replied. "I'd better get him home before he gets tired. He didn't nap at all today."

As soon as Perseus got home, Dictys ran into the front hall and gave his family a hug. "I heard about Andromeda," he told them. "How's she doing?"

"She broked her nose," said Perseus, "but she's good now."

Back at Andromeda's house, Cassiopeia was screaming her head off on the phone as she talked to Aethra. "YOUR SON COULD'VE KILLED MY DAUGHTER!" she yelled.

"Mrs. Cassiopeia, I am _so_ sorry about what Theseus did. But you need to understand that he's got ADHD, so sometimes he can't control his impulses," Aethra told her.

"I DON'T CARE!" Cassiopeia raged. "ANDROMEDA'S NOSE IS BROKEN AND SHE'S GOT STITCHES IN HER FACE! YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!"

Cepheus quickly grabbed the phone from his "lovely wife". "I'm sorry about my wife's attitude," he told Aethra, who was on the other end, shaking like crazy. "I'm going to give her some booze right now."

"Cepheus, I apologize for my son hurting Andromeda. Aegeus is yelling at him; I was sort of left out of the picture. But I did just get a call from Ms. Hecate, saying that we must all get together and talk about this."

"Look, as long as he didn't try to…do anything to my daughter, I'll let this one go," Cepheus said. Then his face turned grim. "But if this happens again, I'll report him to Ms. Hecate."


	10. Chapter 9 (Or Whatever): Halloween

I OWN NOTHING! If this seems like _Surgery's_ Halloween chapter, that's because I liked writing that chapter so much that I wanted to recreate it. But, honestly, no one will be having surgery after this chapter!

 **CHAPTER 9 (OR WHATEVER)**

It was still October and it was also Halloween. All the kids had gone out the night before to buy their costumes. And Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë didn't approve of some of the costumes they saw.

"Deimos, what are you?" asked Ms. Psyche as she took attendance.

"I'm a serial killer," said Deimos, who was wearing a mask with fake blood all over it and carrying a sword with him.

"Theseus?" asked Ms. Psyche.

"I'm Zeus! I am a powerful king-god. I also like to turn into animals and have sex with women."

"Go sit in the corner," Ms. Danaë snapped.

Theseus skipped merrily to the corner, where he sat and started playing with a toy truck that just so happened to be there.

Ms. Psyche sighed heavily, wondering if she should just kick Theseus out of the classroom. But that decision was done by Ms. Hecate, and Ms. Psyche knew that Ms. Hecate wouldn't kick someone out unless something awful happened.

"Who else would like to share?" asked Ms. Danaë.

"Fructus," said Phaethon, "he'd like to share."

Fructus' face turned the color of ketchup and he stood up so that everyone could see the full costume. "I…uh…um…" He was breathless; he couldn't believe he was wearing this awful costume Demeter took the time to make for him!

"It's okay, dear," said Ms. Psyche. "Tell us what you are."

"I'm a happy flower," said Fructus, who was—indeed—in a pink flower costume with a green stem. "My mommy maded it for me…and she worked real hard on it, Phaethon!"

"You look like a girl," Phaethon giggled and all the dudes in the class—except for Perseus—began rolling on the floor laughing.

"I think it's nice," said Perseus. "Be nice to him. The computer doesn't recognize his name either." Perseus knew this because Danaë was typing up positive emails to parents last night before he went to bed, and he saw that Fructus' name had a red line under it, and Danaë had to review with him what the red line meant.

"Perseus, for being such a well-behaved boy this morning," said Ms. Psyche, "I'm going to give you a pumpkin candy!"

All the boys immediately stopped rolling around on the floor.

"Can I have one?" asked Jason, who—like Perseus—hadn't laughed at Fructus' costume.

"Of course, Jason," said Ms. Psyche. "And the rest of you boys get nothing. That was a _very_ rude thing to say to Fructus!"

"Ms. Psyche," said Hebe, raising her hand, "when's the parade?"

"Well, Hebe, instead of naptime today," said Ms. Psyche, regretting this next part because she knew how Hedone was if she didn't get her nap, "we'll do the parade then."

"YAY!" screamed the class.

And so the rest of the day continued. The class did the calendar, weather, a bunch of songs about colors and shapes and other stuff, and then it was time for the parade.

All of the parents were in the classroom, although some of them looked like this was the last place they wanted to be.

"Thank you all for coming," said Ms. Hecate. "Welcome to the Halloween parade! After this, we will have a classroom Halloween party! And for those of you who brought food in, thank you for doing that! Boys and girls, what's the rule about the parade?"

"We don't use our swords as actual weapons," said Jason, who was dressed up like Jason from _Friday the 13_ _th_. Seriously, how is that kid able to watch that movie?

"Excellent, Jason," said Ms. Hecate, going over to the CD player and putting in some spooky Halloween music.

"Fructus, smile at Mommy!" called Demeter, taking out her phone. Fructus tried his absolute best to ignore her, but Trip actually pulled him out of the parade line so Demeter could take a good picture of her flower-costumed son.

The class went in alphabetical order. So first came Andromeda, who was in a pink princess dress, complete with a magic wand. Bellerophon was the Headless Horseman (he brought in a fake horse and put his head under his shirt). Then came Deimos the serial killer, followed by Fructus the flower, who'd returned to the parade. Hebe was going as a queen this year, complete with a golden crown on her head and a long, flowing white dress. Hedone had gone as Aphrodite. Then came Jason—who was Jason—and Makaria had gone as an evil witch goddess. Perseus had gone as a fisherman, and he was carrying a small fishing rod with a fake fish at the end of it. Following him were Phaethon (who was dressed as the sun), Phobos (who was a skeleton), and Theseus (who was Zeus).

"Zeus, get off your phone and look at how cute these kids are!" Hera squeaked as she took pictures of her daughter.

"I'm bored," Zeus whined. In fact, that whining was so bad that he could've passed as a preschooler himself.

Perseus accidentally whacked Cassiopeia in the stomach with his fishing rod. "Sorry, Mrs. C," he said sheepishly while Ms. Danaë turned around so no one would see her laughing.

Cassiopeia grimaced and forced a smile, though it was difficult to do so. "It's okay, dear," she said, which was the first—and possibly the last—time she'd ever say something nice to him.

"ZEUS! OFF YOUR PHONE!" yelled Hera.

"Make me, bitch!" Zeus screamed back at her, which didn't make Hera too happy. So she dragged Zeus by the ear out of the classroom and began yelling at and threatening him.

Ms. Hecate turned off the music once all the parents had seen the costumes their children were wearing. "Everyone, help yourselves to food on the table over there! Then we'll play some fun Halloween games!"

Cepheus handed Andromeda an orange-and-black cupcake, and Ms. Danaë handed Perseus a cookie with a gummy worm on it. Both kids headed to a table and began to eat their snacks. Hebe and Fructus soon joined them. Hebe was eating a brownie and Fructus was eating a chocolate-covered strawberry.

All the parents started to talk to one another. Helios and Zeus started to talk about chariot racing and whatnot, while Hera and Clymene talked about how cute their kids were (because mothers tend to gossip about their kids whenever they feel like it).

Then it was time to play some fun Halloween games.

"Our first game is called Pin the Stem on the Pumpkin," said Ms. Psyche. So all the kids put a blindfold on, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë spun them around, and they pinned the stem wherever they thought it should go.

"Our next game," said Ms. Hecate, "is Halloween Fashion Show."

"Ooh," squeaked Aphrodite, "my favorite! I wanna go first!"

"Aphro," said Ares, "this is a kid's game."

"So?"

"So that means you can't play it!"

"Oh. WELL, THAT SUCKS!"

"Indeed," Ares replied.

Ms. Psyche put on some spooky Halloween music and all the kids showed off their costumes. When Theseus came up, he took off his shirt and pants so that he was only standing in his underwear.

Aethra gasped while Aegeus gave the rest of the parents an apologetic smile.

Ms. Hecate turned the music off. "Well…uh…that concludes our very awkward Halloween party. Everyone have a nice Halloween and get lots of candy!"

And so, the children parted ways to go trick-or-treating.

MAKARIA, PHOBOS, HEDONE, AND DEIMOS

Makaria and Hedone were both going trick-or-treating with Phobos and Deimos, so they all decided to go together to get free candy.

First, they stopped in the Underworld, where a depressed-looking Hades opened the door. "What do you want from me?" he barked. "I'm busy planning more torture—"

"Hon," Persephone said, "they're here for candy."

"Oh, you wanted _them_ to eat it? I thought it was for me. So I kinda, um, ate it already."

The four kids started sobbing because they'd heard that the Underworld had a great stash of candy.

" _Now_ look what you've done," snarled Persephone.

"Okay, okay. I'm kidding," Hades replied, throwing a chocolate bar at each of the kids. "Happy Halloween! And don't do drugs!"

Makaria, who was holding Persephone's hand, looked at her mother. "What's wrong with Daddy?"

"He's like that on Halloween," said Persephone bluntly.

"Oh…"

"Yeah…"

Ares, who was behind everyone because he was texting some very…um…dirty things to Aphrodite, looked up from his phone. "Guys, let's head to my house after this. Aphro says she'll make steak, and her steak is to die for!"

They trick-or-treated for a while longer, going to everyone's houses. Helios was out with Phaethon, so Clymene handed them each an orange Popsicle.

Then they went to Andromeda's house, where Cassiopeia handed them each a small piece of candy because Cassiopeia sucks. Across the street, Dictys handed them each a huge bar of chocolate and told them to have a Happy Halloween.

By the time they all got to Ares' house, the kids were bouncing all over the place because they were so hyper.

"Go run downstairs," Ares ordered.

So Phobos put on a song called "Too Sexy for War". Then he offered his arm to Makaria. "C'mon, sweetheart," he said, smiling. "This song is romantic. So that means that you should totally dance with me and stuff."

Makaria cautiously took Phobos' hands in her own and they danced while Hedone and Deimos chased each other around the basement.

Soon, it was time for dinner. Ares and Persephone brought the kids' food downstairs so they could eat in front of the TV. That night's dinner: steak, mashed potatoes, and corn…and—of course—the candy for dessert.

THE FOUR SINGLE DUDES IN THE CLASS

"Phaethon, hold still so Mommy can put safety pins on your wings," said Clymene as she was helping Phaethon fix his costume.

"Don't torture him, honey," Helios told her, taking his son's hand. "Well, off we go!"

The two of them headed down the street to Jason's house. Aeson had volunteered to stay home and hand out free food to people, so that meant that Helios would be in charge of both boys tonight. Glaucus was in charge of Bellerophon, and Aegeus would be in charge of Theseus. But Jason was a good kid, so Helios wasn't worried about that.

When they got to Theseus' house, Theseus came sprinting down the stairs in his Zeus costume. Aegeus came after him, looking a little worried about his son.

"Let's go," Helios declared, leading everyone down the street.

First, they went to Poseidon's house (yeah, he's got two houses, the lucky god), where Amphitrite gave them free food. Then they went to Zeus' house and Zeus loved Theseus' costume so he gave him extra candy. Then he caught Hera's eye and gave everyone else extra, too. Finally, they headed to Demeter's house, where Demeter gave them each a mini box of cereal and told them to eat that before they ate any candy.

"You want this?" Theseus asked his father.

"Sure," said Aegeus.

"Don't tell Demeter _we_ ate it for you," said Glaucus, "or she'll smite us."

It was around eight when trick-or-treating ended, so everyone went back to Phaethon's house, where Clymene had made chicken fingers and fries for the kids. But the only kid who wouldn't eat was Jason.

Jason had been feeling a little sick all day, but he didn't want to tell his father because he wouldn't be able to go trick-or-treating.

"Why aren't you eating?" asked Theseus. "This is awesome."

"I don't feel very good," Jason replied.

"What's wrong?" asked Phaethon, chewing with his mouth open.

"My throat and head hurt," said Jason.

"Do you have a cold?" asked Bellerophon.

"Not sure," Jason said.

"I'll go get Mommy," said Phaethon. "She takes care of me when I'm sick."

All the boys' parents were sitting around the table playing a game of cards when they saw Phaethon show up.

"Hey, little dude," said Helios. "What's up?"

"Jason doesn't feel good," said Phaethon.

"What's wrong?" asked Clymene.

"He says his throat and his head hurt," said Phaethon.

All of the parents looked at one another, because flu season was right around the corner.

"Okay," said Aeson slowly. "I think I'll take him home so he can rest up. Hopefully, we'll see you at school tomorrow."

FRUCTUS AND HEBE

Trip was eating an apple while he escorted his son and his niece trick-or-treating. They went to Rhea's house first, because Rhea was notorious for spoiling kids on Halloween.

"Trick-or-treat, Grandma Rhea!" the kids sang to the Titaness of Motherhood.

"Oh," Rhea laughed. "Look at my two grandkids! Come on in. I've got a surprise waiting for you two."

Hebe and Fructus bolted into Rhea's house, where—in front of them—stood the biggest chocolate fountain ever! Rhea handed the kids each a spoon and told them, "Dig in!"

"Grandma Rhea," said Hebe, "do you gots any marshmallows?"

Rhea handed them some marshmallows.

"C'mon, guys," said Trip. "We have to fill your baskets. Let's go!"

Rhea waved and sent her grandkids outside with Trip. Then Trip led them down the street to Apollo's house, where Apollo was, awaiting his next victims.

Hermes was sitting on Apollo's porch, rocking back and forth in a rocking chair. Apollo was nowhere to be found, though.

"Hermes, Apollo lives here," Fructus said. "You live over there."

"Well, Apollo said he wanted some help with the candy tonight," said Hermes. "So…what do you say?"

"Trick-or-treat!" yelled Hebe.

Apollo popped out of the bushes and pounced at the two gods. "BOO! HAPPY FREAKIN' HALLOWEEN!"

Hebe kicked him in the groin. "YOU SUCK, APOLLO!"

Apollo collapsed to the ground. "Thank you, dear," he grunted.

Triptolemus looked at Hebe and then at Fructus, who still had his basket held out for some candy. Hermes and Apollo quickly gave their half-siblings food and they were off.

"Hebe, we don't kick people," said Trip bitterly. "That wasn't nice, dear."

"But, Uncle Trip," Hebe protested, "he scared the crapper out of me."

"Yeah," said Fructus, "he scared me so bad I kinda…um…peed a little."

"Dammit, Fructus," said Trip. "Okay, we're done. Hebe, I'm taking you home."

ANDROMEDA AND PERSEUS

"If you eat anything before you get back, you'll be in timeout for a month!" Cassiopeia yelled after her daughter.

"Mommy's kidding, honey," said Cepheus. "You can eat whatever you want before we get back…just not a lot."

Andromeda took her father's hand and headed with him across the street to Perseus' house.

"There's the fisherman," Cepheus said cheerfully. "Ready to go?"

"Yes," said Danaë. "Let's go!"

Of course, they headed across the street to Uncle P's house, where Uncle P was sitting on the porch in a rocking chair. "Good evening, children. You are the first to come to my haunted house!"

"Polydectes, they're three," said Danaë.

"It's age-appropriate, sweetie-pie," Polydectes smirked. "Come in."

Andromeda and Perseus looked at their parents, who led them inside of the house.

"Welcome to the front hallway, where I keep all of my really crappy Halloween decorations," said Polydectes.

"Uncle P?" Perseus asked.

"What?" snapped Polydectes.

"Um…my daddy says I can't play with you anymore because you're a creeper."

"Whatever," snapped Uncle P. "Now, here is the kitchen. Let's play a game. Under this sheet is this dead guy named Perseus."

"That's my name, Uncle P," said Perseus.

"Shut up! Now, as I was saying, I dug Perseus' remains up from Screamer's Cemetery down the road from us. And here are his brains!" He held up a brain made out of Jell-O. "And here's his hair! And his intestines and his stomach and his heart."

After a few more pathetically pretend body parts, Polydectes sent the two kids away with no free food. Andromeda was in tears and Perseus was constantly asking Danaë to go home.

"How about we go back to our house and we'll get some pizzas," said Danaë, leading them back in the direction of their house.

"That sounds great," Cepheus replied.

Honestly, the two kids had a much better time at Perseus' house. They were still too young to understand what trick-or-treating actually was, so that was perfect for them. And the pizza from Poseidon's Pizza Place was delicious.

JASON'S HOUSE

Although everyone was having a grand old time playing with their friends, Jason was in bed drinking some chicken soup. Aeson had just sent Ms. Hecate an email, saying how Jason was pretty sick. His fever was around 101 and he wouldn't be back for a few days. Ms. Hecate replied, hoping Jason would feel better soon, and saying that she would tell Ms. Psyche tomorrow morning.

 **Kind of a cliff-hanger there, huh!? So now that it's November in our story, that also means it's time for flu season. I had the flu this winter and IT SUCKED! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this one!**


	11. Chapter 10: The Plague

**Hey guys. This will be a bit of a different setup, but it'll still revolve around the same people! Here is the Flu Season chappie so please enjoy! And, for those of you who like gross stuff, this is your thing! And Uncle P's kind of going to be a regular character now…if I can find a spot for him. He's such a jerk and it's fun writing a chapter with him in it!**

 **CHAPTER 10**

When Jason woke up the following morning, his throat hurt him too much to talk. His head was pounding, and his stomach was rumbling in a weird way.

"Daddy? I don't feel good today," Jason told Aeson.

Aeson felt his son's forehead. "Good thing I called Ms. Hecate," he smiled. "You're running a fever. Why don't you go back upstairs and lie down?"

Jason shrugged and headed back upstairs. He slumped down onto his bed and looked at the clock (although he didn't know what time it was because he couldn't read numbers yet). _It must be time for school because I don't hear the cars outside,_ he thought to himself. And it wasn't too long after this when he started throwing up.

Phaethon came running down the stairs the next morning, all ready for school to start. Helios and Clymene were drinking coffee together at the table.

"Hey, kiddo," said Helios. "You ready for school today?"

"Yes! I'm going to make a mud pie this morning during playtime."

"Well, that sounds great," said Clymene. "What would you like for break—why's your face all red, dear?"

"It's not red, Mommy."

"Yes, honey. It is."

Phaethon folded his arms.

"Isn't there a bug going around the school?" asked Helios.

"I guess so," said Clymene, touching her son's forehead. "You're burning up, sweetheart. I want you to go upstairs and sleep today."

"But what about my mud pie?"

"When you're better, you can make a mud pie," said Helios firmly.

A little while later, Helios went to drive his sun chariot across the sky and Clymene stayed home with her sick son. She didn't really see him all morning. But she saw him throwing up when she came upstairs to check on him around lunchtime.

"Oh, honey," she cooed over him, "do you want to take a warm bath?"

Phaethon puked some more. "Y-yes, Mommy," he sobbed into her shoulder.

"Okay."

So Clymene took Phaethon into the bathroom and put him in the tub for a while before she made him some chicken soup.

When Helios got back from his day up in the sky, Phaethon and Clymene were on the couch. Phaethon was asleep on his mother's lap and Clymene was watching a movie.

"How's he doing?" Helios asked as he kissed his wife.

"He was throwing up all day today…with diarrhea," said Clymene. "So Miss Hestia said to keep him home until the fever breaks."

"Class," said Ms. Psyche the next morning, "as you may know, a lot of the other kids here have gotten sick. I just want to let you know not to share any forks, spoons, or cups until this flu is gone. Make sure you wash your hands after playtime, after using the bathroom, and before you eat. Yes, Phobos?"

"Can we share toys, Ms. Psyche?"

"Yes, you can share toys. Just don't put anything in your mouths. Because this flu isn't pretty."

"Is it the puke kind?" asked Andromeda.

"Yes, honey," said Ms. Psyche. "It _is_ the puke kind."

"My mommy doesn't like puke," said Andromeda. "So no one get me sick!"

Jason sneezed. Ms. Psyche still couldn't believe Aeson would send his still-sick kid off to preschool.

"Well, let's have some free time," suggested Ms. Danaë. "Everyone find a spot in the room to play!"

The four friends—Phaethon, Bellerophon, Jason, and Perseus (minus Phaethon, of course)—were hanging out over by the sensory table. All three of them were picking up sand and trying to make sand castles with them.

"Do you puke a lot with this?" asked Theseus.

"Yeah," said Jason. "My tummy still kinda hurts, too."

"Did you get that thing where your body gets hotter?" asked Bellerophon. "I _still_ don't know what that's called."

"I think it's called a fever," said Jason. "Yeah. Mine got really high, too."

"Sweet," said Theseus.

"No," Jason snapped. "Not sweet!"

"Jason, how are you feeling?" asked Ms. Psyche.

"I feel good, Ms. Psyche," Jason replied. "My tummy kinda hurts but I feel good."

"That's good, honey—"

"Ms. Psyche," said Ms. Danaë, "I'm going to take Makaria down to the office. She's not feeling very well."

"Okay, Ms. Danaë."

Makaria walked with her teacher to Miss Hestia's office, where they found Miss Hestia in the middle of eating an apple. "Good morning," Miss Hestia said, putting the apple down on her desk. "What's going on today?"

"Makaria's not feeling very well," said Ms. Danaë.

"Uh-oh," said Miss Hestia. "Makaria, let's call Mommy."

A few minutes later, Persephone walked into the office, clutching her purse. "Hi, honey," she cooed to her daughter. "Are you feeling sick today?"

Makaria nodded soberly.

"Well, I think we'll head out," said Persephone.

On the way home in the car, Makaria puked all over herself and the car seat, so poor Persephone had to clean it up.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," Makaria said as Persephone carried her into the house.

"It's okay, honey," Persephone said bitterly. "Mommy knows you didn't mean it."

Meanwhile, back at Ms. Hecate's, the kids were still having free time. Hebe and Fructus were playing with the cars in the quiet corner. Perseus and Andromeda were doing a puzzle together in the math corner. Hedone and Deimos were drawing pictures in the arts and crafts corner. The other kids were scattered all throughout the classroom. Some were reading, some were drawing, and some were walking around trying to figure out what to do next.

Ms. Psyche was hanging out with Perseus and Andromeda, who were now interested in the pretend kitchen area. "What are you two making?" she asked.

"I'm making fish," said Perseus.

"I'm making a cake for my daddy," said Andromeda.

"Andromeda, do you and Mommy ever play together?" asked Ms. Psyche.

"No."

"How come?"

"'Cause she's mean to me. She's always yelling at me and every time I ask her to play with me, she calls me mean things and sends me to my room."

"Oh, my…" Ms. Psyche said pensively.

Meanwhile, Ms. Danaë was in the house corner with Hebe and Fructus, who were having an argument over a doll.

"Ms. Danaë, tell Fructus only girls can have babies!" Hebe yelled.

"But it's pretend," said Fructus. "So boys can have babies, too!" Just to prove it, Fructus put a baby under his shirt to make him look pregnant.

"Fructus, Hebe's right. Only girls can have babies," Ms. Danaë said matter-of-factly.

"Ha!" Hebe screamed, sticking out her tongue. "Got ya, farm dude!"

" _But_ ," Ms. Danaë stressed, "it's important that you have a dad in your baby's life because dads help mommies while they're having the babies."

"What?" Fructus asked.

"Nothing, sweetheart."

"Ms. Danaë, how to girls get babies in their tummies?" asked Hebe.

"Well, the mommy and daddy pray to all the gods and that's how it works," said Ms. Danaë, feeling more awkward than that time she'd met Polydectes the first time.

"Ms. Danaë, my daddy told me I have to nail a hot dude if I wants to get pregnant," said Hebe, smiling at her teacher.

"When did he tell you _that_?"

"Last night."

Ms. Danaë nodded, but she didn't say anything. So she went to put on the circle time CD. That meant that whenever the kids heard "Come to the Carpet" by the Greeks, they had to come to the carpet.

"Oh," said Ms. Psyche, "there's the song! Let's go to the carpet for circle time!"

"But, Ms. Psyche," said Perseus, "it's outside time!"

"You're right," said Ms. Psyche. "Everyone, let's head outside for playtime!"

Later that day, the parents came to pick their kids up. Ms. Psyche gave Cassiopeia an angry look, then dismissed her with Andromeda at her heels.

When Demeter picked up Fructus that afternoon, she thought his face looked pink, but she boiled it down to him having a monster crush on Hebe and took him home.

Back at Fructus' house, Demeter was putting a scarf around his neck, for mother and son were going outside to play in the fields.

"Mommy, I'm too hot," said Fructus.

"Now, Fructus," Demeter scolded, "it's not nice to be vain, so don't call yourself hot."

"But, Mommy, I'm too warm."

Demeter felt his forehead. "You'll be cold when you get outside, dear." She picked up a big ball and ran out the door with her son.

Demeter and Fructus were playing catch when Fructus' stomach started to rumble in a not-so-great way. So he turned around and puked in the grass.

"Oh, Fructus," Demeter said warily. "Why didn't you tell me that you weren't feeling well?"

"I DID!" Fructus yelled at her, puking in the grass again.

"Let's go inside and I'll make you something that'll settle your belly," Demeter said. So she took Fructus inside and sat him down in front of the TV.

Demeter ran to the stove, made something for her son, and handed it to him in a bowl. "It's oatmeal, dear," she said happily. "Eat up! Mmm, yummy, yummy oatmeal!"

Fructus literally looked at it and puked again.

"Okay," Demeter decided. "No oatmeal for you today."

When Trippy came home from the fields, he discovered his son wrapped up in blankets with the "puke bucket" sitting next to him.

"Uh, what happened, Dem?" he asked.

"Well, I was playing with him outside and he threw up. So I made him some oatmeal, which made him do it again. I think he's got that stomach flu going around." Demeter sighed loudly. "What should we do for dinner?"

"I don't think he'll be up for eating anything," said Triptolemus. "Maybe we could go downstairs and watch a movie and have dinner down there."

While Fructus was getting sick at his house, in the house across the street, the stomach bug had just hit.

It was around two in the morning when Hebe woke up. She'd been awakened from a very deep sleep from an upset stomach. Thinking she had to poop, she went into her connecting bathroom.

There was a knock on the door and Eileithyia, the childbirth goddess, came into the bathroom. "Hebe, you okay?"

"Ellie, my tummy feels icky," Hebe told her sister.

"Do you want me to get Mommy?" Eileithyia asked.

Hebe nodded.

Eileithyia ran into Hera's room, where she found her parents sleeping. Hera was sleeping on her side away from Zeus, and Eileithyia could just assume that they'd been fighting in bed again.

"Ma," said Eileithyia, "Ma, something's up with Hebe."

"What's the matter?" Hera asked, sitting up and looking at her daughter.

"She said her stomach's hurting her," said Eileithyia. "She's asking for you."

"Where is she?"

"In the bathroom."

Sure enough, Hera found her sick daughter on the toilet, looking at a picture book. "Hi, baby," Hera cooed. "Are you feeling sick?"

"Yes," Hebe said.

"What hurts?"

Hebe coughed violently and threw up onto the floor.

Hera picked her daughter up and stood her in front of the toilet. "Ellie, go tell your father to get some paper towels to clean this mess up. And also tell him to get the thermometer and a glass of water for Hebe."

"Okay, Ma." Eileithyia headed into Zeus' room. "Dad, Hebe threw up. Ma needs your help with her."

"I'm busy," Zeus grunted in his sleep.

"All you have to do is get some paper towels, the thermometer, and a glass of water."

"But that requires me to move, and Zeusy no likey moving at whatever-the-Hades time it is," Zeus whined. "Tell your mother that I'm the king and I don't gotta do nothing she says!"

Eileithyia pulled off the quilt. "NOW!"

"I'm up. Jeez."

Zeus ran downstairs, ate a brownie, and grabbed the thermometer and the water for Hebe. He found Hera in Hebe's bathroom. Hera was in the middle of giving Hebe a bath while averting her eyes from Hebe's vomit.

"Hurry up, Hera, so we can have late-night sex," Zeus said, smirking.

"Zeus, take your daughter's temperature," snapped Hera as she pulled a pale Hebe out of the tub.

"Is this the rectal thermometer or the normal one?"

"We got rid of the rectal one because Mother Rhea said Hebe wouldn't enjoy that too much."

Zeus uncapped the thermometer and stuck it under Hebe's tongue. "She's burning up," he declared. "Well, guess she'll stay home tomorrow…but I'm not taking care of her."

Hebe burped and threw up into the toilet again.

"Yeah, you're watching her," Hera said, looking disgusted. "You know how I am with puking kids." She ran to her phone and called Demeter's house. "Hi, Dem, it's Hera. Listen, sorry about waking you up, but Hebe's sick, so I'm wondering if Fructus had the same thing."

"Yeah, he's been sick since he got home from school," said Demeter sadly. "I'll be looking after him tomorrow while Trip's at work."

"Yeah, Zeus is watching Hebe tomorrow while I'm at work…plus I can't stand puking kids. Now, if she had something else like a cold or something, I'm cool with that. But the flu…no thanks!"

The following morning, Ms. Psyche reported that Fructus and Hebe were both sick with the flu.

Jason felt pretty guilty about getting everyone else sick. Even though _he_ felt better (with a few episodes of coughing here or there), everyone else was basically going to get it anyway.

Back at Fructus' house, Demeter was having a nice day to herself.

Demeter was sitting on the couch watching a cooking show, when Fructus came running down the stairs. "Mommy, can I go outside?" he begged.

"No," Demeter said firmly. "Now go back upstairs and sleep. You were up puking last night and you need your rest."

Fructus sadly walked up the stairs and into his room, where he put his TV on. His favorite show "Fruits and Veggies" was on, so he watched that for a bit before he finally dozed off.

At Hebe's house across the street, Hebe was still running a fever and she had a sore throat, but she wasn't throwing up anymore.

Hebe ran downstairs to see Zeus watching an Olympian basketball game.

"Daddy," Hebe said, "can I—"

"No, you cannot," Zeus said. "Go upstairs and sleep."

"Daddy, can I have some water, please?" Hebe begged her father.

"Okay," Zeus sighed. "Why can't Mommy watch you?"

"Because she's at work, Daddy."

"Right…of course she is."

Zeus handed Hebe some water and sent her back upstairs.

"Daddy?"

"WHAT?" Zeus screamed at Hebe.

"Can you rub my back, please?"

"No. Go night-night."

"You suck!"

"Well… _you_ suck!"

"You suck more!"

"What's going on?" asked a third voice. Eileithyia had just come down the stairs.

"Ellie, tell Daddy to rub my back," Hebe said.

"Eileithyia, tell Hebe I'm not her personal slave," Zeus replied.

"Hebe, I'll rub your back for you," said Eileithyia. "And, Dad, don't be such a dick."

"Ha-ha," Zeus said. "You said—"

"I know what I said," said Eileithyia sharply. "Come on, Hebe. Do you wanna watch a movie while I rub your back?"

"Uh-huh."

While Hebe and Fructus were resting up so they could hopefully get back to preschool soon, Psyche and Hedone were heading home from school. Psyche put on a kid's CD of fun songs, which Hedone liked to sing along to.

"Mommy," said Hedone from her car seat, "can you turn it off? My head hurts."

"Do you have a headache, baby?" Psyche asked from the front seat.

"Yeah."

Psyche turned off the CD, even though she wanted to sing the words to "Mr. Happy Rainbow in the Big, Blue Sky". "How bad is it, honey?"

"Not bad. Just annoying."

"Okay. Mommy's going to drop you off at home so you can play with Daddy. I'm going to get dinner for tonight. Would you like anything special?"

Hedone shook her little head. "No thanks, Mommy."

"Okay, sweetie."

Psyche dropped Hedone off at home, where she and Eros played for a while. Hedone's headache was slowly getting better, but now she was getting a sore throat.

"Daddy, I don't feel good today," Hedone complained.

"What's wrong, cutie?" Eros asked as he started cleaning up Hedone's dolls.

"My throat hurts, Daddy." Hedone began coughing violently into her sleeve.

Eros took her temperature and decided that Hedone was fine at the moment, but he wanted to monitor it.

Psyche came home a few minutes later. "I'm home!" she sang. "I brought chicken and mashed potatoes!"

As soon as Hedone smelled the chicken, she became very nauseous.

"Hedone's not feeling very well, babe," said Eros.

"She said she had a bit of a headache on the way home," Psyche said, starting the oven.

"Mommy, I think I'm gonna—" Before Hedone could finish the sentence, she threw up all over the floor.

"Oh, honey," Psyche said, running to her daughter. "Let's go take a bath."

"I'll clean this mess up, Psyche," said Eros, going over towards the front closet. That was good, because Psyche's big weakness was puke and puking kids, so it's a wonder she didn't puke herself.

Psyche put her puking daughter into the tub and washed her hair. Then she took Hedone out and did her hair, putting it into a ponytail. Just then, the phone rang.

"Hello?" said Psyche.

"Hey, Psyche. It's Danaë. Is Hedone coming down with the flu?"

"Oh, that already happened. She just got sick, so she will not be eating dinner tonight."

"I'm worried about Perseus, too. I hope he doesn't get it from anyone, but of course, he will because everyone's always hugging each other."

"Mommy," said Hedone from the toilet, "there's water coming out of my butt."

"And now she's got diarrhea."

"Well, I hope she feels better," said Danaë darkly. "Will you be at school tomorrow?"

"Yes, I'll be there," said Psyche. "I'll see you then."

After hanging up the phone, Psyche took Hedone into her room, where she told her to get some sleep. Hedone shrugged, kissed her mother on the cheek, and cuddled up next to her stuffed animals.

Psyche ran downstairs, washed her hands until they were literally bleeding golden ichor, and ate dinner with Eros.

The following morning, Ms. Psyche walked into the preschool to find Ms. Hecate glaring at the computer.

"Morning," Ms. Psyche yawned widely.

"Good morning, Psyche," said Ms. Hecate. "You're late."

"Yeah, I know that," Psyche said miserably. "Hedone was throwing up all night and I hardly got any sleep."

"Oh," Ms. Hecate sighed with relief. "I thought you didn't like working here."

"Why would that _ever_ be a problem?" Ms. Psyche said.

Ms. Hecate shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted.

Ms. Psyche walked into the classroom to find Ms. Danaë doing story time with the preschoolers. She immediately saw that Phaethon was back, looking tired, but happy to be there.

"Who can tell me why he gave the girl the flowers?" asked Ms. Danaë. "Phaethon?"

"Because that's a nice thing to do," said Phaethon proudly. "Hi, Ms. Psyche!"

The whole class—including Ms. Danaë—turned around to see Ms. Psyche standing at the entrance to the classroom.

"Good morning, everyone," said Ms. Psyche. "Sorry I'm late. Hedone is sick, and I didn't get sleep last night."

Ms. Danaë looked at the class. She handed Ms. Psyche the attendance sheet. "Now we only have nine," she said darkly. "No Hebe and Fructus."

"Or Makaria," said Ms. Psyche.

"Then that makes eight."

When lunchtime rolled around, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë gave the kids their food. Today's lunch was sandwiches, applesauce, carrots, and chocolate cake for dessert.

"Ms. Danaë," said Andromeda, "do you wanna play with me outside after lunch?"

Ms. Psyche decided that the kids needed to work off their lunch energy, so they switched playtime from before lunchtime to after lunchtime.

Since Andromeda was the only girl who was in school, Ms. Danaë felt sort of bad for her. Plus, Andromeda's mom sucked, so Ms. Danaë was kind of like a second mother to her.

"Of course," said Ms. Danaë.

So after lunch, everyone headed outside for playtime. Perseus, Andromeda, and Ms. Danaë went for a walk in the woods behind the school, while Ms. Psyche was left with six kids. But she didn't mind. The kids—except Theseus—didn't need that much monitoring.

In the woods, Ms. Danaë and the two kids were looking for cool stuff.

"Ms. Danaë," said Andromeda, "can I live with you?"

Ms. Danaë almost started crying. "No, honey," she said gently. "Why would you want to live with us?"

"Because I love Perseus and my mommy doesn't like him that much."

"But your daddy likes him," said Ms. Danaë. "And plus—Perseus, honey, the leaves aren't food! And plus, if you lived with us, you'd be seeing mean old Uncle P a lot."

"Perseus told me that Uncle P can't play with him anymore," said Andromeda.

"He kind of just shows up at our house sometimes," said Ms. Danaë.

Perseus looked at his mother. "Is he coming to dinner tonight, Mommy?"

"Yes, honey," Ms. Danaë said reluctantly. "He said he wanted to see you again. Maybe we could all play a game together."

"We could go fishing," said Perseus excitedly.

"Yeah…" said Ms. Danaë. "Let's go back to the playground, you two."

Later that day, Cepheus came to pick up Andromeda from preschool. Ms. Danaë mentioned to him what Andromeda had said about living with the fishing family.

Usually, Cepheus picked Andromeda up because Cassiopeia honestly freaked Andromeda out. So there!

"Andromeda, don't you like Mommy?" asked Cepheus.

"No," snapped Andromeda. "Daddy, she's evil. She's like a Fury, but slightly nicer."

Cepheus couldn't believe Andromeda was comparing Cassiopeia to a freaking Fury. Damn, that woman must be awful!

Cepheus pulled into the garage and gave Andromeda some grapes for her after-school snack. He liked watching his daughter eat grapes because Andromeda always made this weird face whenever something sour hit her tongue. Her face got all scrunched up.

"Daddy, what's for dinner?" she asked, plucking another grape from the vine.

"Pasta, honey," said Cepheus, going over to the stove to make the noodles.

Cassiopeia walked into the room and walked right upstairs.

"See?" asked Andromeda. "What _am_ I? Chopped liver?"

"Just ignore her," her father suggested. "That's what I do. Of course, I don't know why I married her."

Andromeda made a face and pushed the empty plate away. "Daddy, I don't feel very good."

"What's wrong, princess?"

"Um…" Andromeda said, clutching her tummy, "I have to poop, Daddy."

"Okay. Go ahead."

Andromeda bolted for the bathroom, where she had some awful diarrhea. But that was the end of that…or was it?

Later on, Cepheus, Cassiopeia, and Andromeda were all sitting around the table. It was a nice atmosphere.

"Eat up," Cassiopeia demanded. "That pasta wasn't cheap."

"Mommy, my belly hurts," said Andromeda, clutching her stomach. Then she threw up all over the floor.

"In the _kitchen_ , Andromeda?" Cassiopeia barked as her daughter continued to hurl.

"Get the thermometer," Cepheus ordered, hauling his daughter upstairs and into the bathroom. "Are you okay, princess?"

Andromeda burped and dry-heaved, but nothing else came up.

Cassiopeia took Andromeda's temperature. "Yep, she's sick all right." She put the thermometer back in its case. "I have to run a few errands tomorrow, so you're watching her."

"Okay, my lovely flower."

Cepheus gave Andromeda a bath, helped her brush her teeth, and put her in some comfy jammies. Then he put her to bed, kissed her goodnight, and covered his freezing daughter up with her thick quilt.

The next morning, Andromeda slept in because she'd been throwing up all night. She'd also had a really high fever, so Cepheus and Cassiopeia were both up trying to get it to break by giving their daughter cold baths.

Cassiopeia went shopping, so Cepheus was in charge of his sick kid. He pretty much let her sleep the whole day, occasionally going into her room to check up on her.

Around noon, Andromeda began to get slightly hungry, so she walked sadly downstairs and sat with her father. "Daddy? Can I have some soup, please?"

"Of course you can, dear," said Cepheus. He got up and made her some chicken soup. Then he put her in the playroom and put on a princess movie for her.

Meanwhile, it was two-thirty when the school day ended, and Perseus wasn't feeling so great. He was holding his stomach and looking pretty pale. Danaë didn't really notice this until Perseus pushed his fish sticks away from him.

"What's wrong, dude?" asked Dictys, eating his own fish sticks. "You _love_ fish sticks."

"I don't feel good," said Perseus. "My tummy's hurting me."

"Danaë," said Dictys, "where's the thermometer?"

"It's in the closet," she replied, drinking some milk.

Dictys took Perseus' temperature, declaring that his son was—in fact—pretty feverish. "Dude, you think you'll—"

Perseus scrunched up his face, then smiled shyly at his parents. "Uh…I think I just pooped."

Dictys and Danaë both ran upstairs, Dictys carrying Perseus while Danaë got a bath ready for him.

"Take off his clothes!" Danaë said loudly over the running water.

Dictys quickly ripped his son's clothes off and sat Perseus down on the toilet while the water ran. Danaë put him into the tub and Perseus relaxed as he noticed his toy boat and rubber ducky floating alongside him in the water.

Danaë washed her son's hair while Dictys talked to her. "So, since we both work tomorrow…who's watching him?"

"I could stay home," said Danaë, "but I'm sure Psyche needs me tomorrow."

"I could stay home," said Dictys, "but if I do, then my fishing supplies store won't be open."

"You guys could leave me here alone," Perseus suggested. "I'm a big boy now!" And he stood up, completely naked, in front of his parents.

"Sit back down, honey," said Danaë.

Perseus coughed and puked in the water.

"Well, so much for the bath," said Dictys. "Well, let's get you out of there, buddy."

"I guess we'll have to call P-O-L-Y-D-E-C-T-E-S," said Danaë, spelling out the word like it was a big secret because she knew Perseus couldn't spell yet.

"I guess we'll have to live with it," Dictys said. "I mean, he's the closest relative we've got, and I'm not leaving him with Helios or Cepheus or anyone else because I want him to be home when he's sick."

"Who're you guys talking about?" asked Perseus.

"We're getting you a babysitter for tomorrow," said Danaë. "I'll go call him right now. Dictys, please get Perseus cleaned up and put him to bed."

Dictys dried Perseus off, brushed his teeth, and carried him into his room, where his nasty fish pillow was awaiting him.

"We gotta wash Fishy," said Dictys.

"Yeah," said Perseus darkly. "We gots to wash Fishy."

Danaë walked into the room, the phone in her hands. "He said he'll be over here at eight forty-five tomorrow morning," she said reluctantly. "And he wants to go out to dinner with me at some point because he likes me."

Perseus had a bad feeling that he wouldn't like the babysitter tomorrow.

The following morning, the doorbell rang at eight forty-five. Danaë ran to get it while Dictys cleaned up Perseus after another puking/diarrhea episode.

"Hello, my little princess," said Polydectes. "Wanna go on the couch and do a little something-something?"

"No thanks," snapped Danaë. "So Perseus just threw up again."

"Oh…when you said _the flu_ , I thought it was the coughing kind."

"And he's also got a bit of diarrhea and a low fever. So he'll be home the next two days. If it goes well today, and I don't hear anything bad from Perseus, you may come back tomorrow," Danaë snarled, getting on her jacket. "And I don't like you."

Polydectes puckered up for a kiss.

"Gross," said Danaë, heading out the door to preschool.

"Bye, baby-cakes!" Polydectes called after her. He stepped inside the house to find Dictys walking down the stairs. "Hey, Dick!"

"Don't call me that," said Dictys firmly. "So I gave him some medicine that's supposed to settle his stomach so he won't throw up on you. If he does throw up, just put him in the tub for about thirty minutes. Same thing with diarrhea."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," said Polydectes. "Blah, blah, blah. Can I marry Danaë?"

"No." Dictys left soon after that.

Polydectes made himself at home. He claimed his territory on the couch by placing his muddy boots all over it (but the couch was brown, so they wouldn't notice…right?). Then he flipped through the channels until _The Hangover_ came on. Then he ran through an entire set of _Cards Against Humanity_ cards. By that time, Perseus had come downstairs to see who was babysitting him.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked angrily. "I'm already sick as it is. I don't need to get sicker!"

"Dude, you wanna hear a good card?" asked Uncle P.

"Sure," said Perseus.

"This card is _What's that smell_?"

"I don't know," said Perseus.

"That smell is _dying of dysentery_ ," said Polydectes. "Do you wanna hear a story now?"

"Does it involve my mom?" asked Perseus.

"No," said Polydectes. And he began the story.

THESEUS' ESSAY

 _One day, Theseus was in school when Ms. Psyche asked him to write an essay for homework. When Theseus got home, he ran over to his mother. "Mommy, I need an idea for my essay!"_

" _Shut the hell up!" yelled Aethra, who was on the phone. So he wrote that down._

 _Then he went to his friend Jason who was talking to his girlfriend. "Dude, I need an idea for the essay!"_

 _Jason was talking on the phone, so he said, "Yeah, baby, yeah." So he wrote it down._

 _Next he went to his friends Orpheus and Perseus, who were watching_ The Lightning Thief _. "Guys, help me with the essay."_

" _In my world, I'm know as Chiron," said the boys, so he wrote it down._

 _Then he went to his father Aegeus, who was listening to a song. "Daddy, help me with my essay!"_

" _8675309," sang Aegeus. He was also baking buns, and when Theseus repeated the question, Aegeus burnt his hand on them. "Ouch, you burnt my buns!"_

 _The next day, Ms. Psyche asked Theseus to share his essay. So he stood on his desk. "Shut the hell up!" he yelled._

" _Theseus, would you like to go to Ms. Hecate's office?" asked Ms. Psyche._

" _Yeah, baby, yeah."_

 _In Ms. Hecate's office, Ms. Hecate looked at Theseus. "What's your name, young man?"_

" _In my world, I'm known as Chiron."_

" _What's your phone number?"_

" _8675309!" Theseus sang._

 _Ms. Hecate tried to call the number, but the line was dead. "THIS ISN'T YOUR PHONE NUMBER!" So she picked Theseus up by the ears and smacked him on the butt._

" _OUCH, YOU BURNT MY BUNS!" Theseus yelled._

WITH PERSEUS AND UNCLE P

"Wasn't that a great story?" asked Uncle P.

"No," said Perseus. "It maded me sad, 'cause I wants to go back to school and play with all my friends."

"But you're, like, sick," Uncle P said.

"But I don't care. I wanna go see Andromeda because she always makes me feel better!"

"No, kiddo. You're sick. How about you tell _me_ a story about how sexy your mom looks when she sleeps?"

"Uncle P, I think you're weird."

"That's an understatement," Polydectes replied darkly. "Now, how about you go upstairs and take a nap?"

Perseus ran upstairs to puke, then to take a nap. Polydectes headed upstairs to "check on his nephew" (when, in actuality, he was going into Danaë's bedroom because he's a creepy stalker dude).

Back in school, Theseus' belly was hurting him.

"Ms. Psyche, I don't feel good," said Theseus, walking up to his teacher.

"Do we need to see Miss Hestia?" asked Ms. Psyche.

"Uh-huh," said Theseus.

So Ms. Danaë took him to see Miss Hestia, who took his temperature and sent him home right away.

Miss Hestia was on her computer, typing up some stuff about something of very little importance. "Hi, Theseus," she said sweetly. "What's up?"

"The sky," said Theseus. "Phaethon said that this morning. "My throat hurts…and my head hurts."

"Well," said Miss Hestia, reaching for the thermometer, "I think we'll need to take your temperature. This goes under your tongue."

A few moments later, Miss Hestia picked up the phone to call Aethra. "I'll take care of him, Ms. Danaë."

"Okay," said Ms. Danaë. "Feel better, Theseus."

"Thanks," Theseus said, and for once he didn't feel like being hyper.

Aethra came in a few minutes later, clutching her purse. "Hi, baby," she told Theseus. "What's wrong?"

"I guess he's got a sore throat and a headache," said Miss Hestia. "And he's also got a fever. Keep him home until twenty-four hours after it breaks."

"Okay," said Aethra. "We'll see you in a few days."

Once Theseus got home, Aethra ordered him to get him pajamas on and go right to bed. "And no playing with Mr. M&M, honey. You're sick and you need rest."

Theseus ran upstairs, put his pajamas on, and Aethra tucked him into bed.

So…what was going on at Perseus' house? Polydectes was snooping through Danaë's and Dictys' nightstands. Perseus was still sleeping, so Uncle P thought it would be smart to be nosy.

In Danaë's nightstand, he didn't find anything cool. He found some medicine, lipstick, and a book that Danaë had bookmarked. In Dictys' nightstand, he found a fish keychain, an extra key to Perseus' room in case he and Perseus were playing jail or something, and yet another book.

"Damn," Polydectes breathed. "I still like her, though."

"Uncle P, why're you in Mommy and Daddy's room?" asked Perseus.

"Why are _you_ in here?" Uncle P snarled.

"Mommy and Daddy said that if I wanna come in, I have to knock and wait by the door. Then they'll tell me to come in."

"Just looking for something," Uncle P said. He grabbed the thermometer. "You done sleeping?"

"Uh-huh. I had some water come out of my butt—"

"TMI!"

"—but I feel good now."

"That's great," Uncle P smiled. "'Cause it's time for your daily torture!"

"Huh?" said Perseus.

"Hello, Perseus. I'm Dr. Uncle P, and I understand you're not feeling well today."

"Yeah. I have a tummy ache and I throwed up a lot."

"Well, let's take your temperature," said Dr. Uncle P, shoving the thermometer under Perseus' tongue. "Don't bite on that or it'll blow up and you'll die."

"What?" Perseus said, opening his mouth so that the thermometer looked like it was going to fall out.

"Ah! No talking! Dr. Uncle P's orders!" cried Dr. Uncle P. "Now let's see what this says. Hmm…Mr. Perseus, it looks like you've still got a fever. Guess what?"

"You'll throw me in the closet again?"

"No, stupid kid! Dr. Uncle P's going to give you some yummy-tasting medicine!"

"You know, my daddy makes a game out of it," said Perseus.

"Well, here's _my_ game," said Polydectes. "Come with me."

Dr. Uncle P got out the Little Heroes' Pepto-Bismol and checked the dosage. "Looks like this'll do the trick," he concluded, unscrewing the cap. Perseus stood next to his jackass uncle and looked up at him.

"Uncle P—"

"That's _Dr._ Uncle P, kid," snapped Dr. Uncle P.

"Dr. Uncle P, that stuff is pink so that means that only girls can take it!"

"Stop being a sexist kid," snapped Dr. Uncle P. "I love pink. It's my favorite color."

"It's Andromeda's favorite, too," said Perseus, blushing furiously. He wished he could have a hug from Andromeda, but then Mrs. C would've been angry at him for life.

Uncle P—sorry, _Dr._ Uncle P—poured out the correct dosage and handed the cup to Perseus. Perseus smelled it and ran off.

"Get your tiny ass back here!" screamed Uncle P. "I am the king of this house!"

Perseus ran all the way into the front room and under the piano bench. Uncle P would never find him there.

"Oh, I love hide-and-seek," said Uncle P. "Every time I found your father, I'd throw rocks at him. Ah…those were the days. Okay, you need to take this medicine. Where the Tartarus are you?!"

Perseus tried to control his breathing. If Uncle P found him, he would make Perseus take the yucky medicine, and Perseus' belly was too upset to even think about that.

Uncle P came into the front room. "I found you!" he yelled with delight, removing the piano bench and grabbing Perseus by the front of his shirt. He sat on the floor with his "patient" and handed him the cup with the drugs in it. "Okay. Open up."

"Make me, bitch," snapped Perseus.

"Do you talk to Dick that way?"

"Who's Dick?"

"Your father."

"My father's not a dick. His name is Dictys. I don't even know what a dick is!"

"There is so much you shall learn when you're older," said Uncle P.

"When's Mommy coming back?" Perseus demanded.

"Guess who I am? I'm the tickle monster!" Uncle P said, completely ignoring his nephew. Uncle P tickled Perseus, which made Perseus open his mouth. Polydectes shoved the drugs down Perseus' throat, causing him to cough and gag.

"That wasn't so bad, huh?" asked Uncle P.

Theseus, meanwhile, was in his bed trying to sleep. He suddenly sat up and vomited all over his quilt.

Aegeus walked in. "Uh…AETHRA! Theseus is hurling!"

Aethra walked in and dragged her kid into the bathroom, where she gave him a bath and got him cleaned up before she put him in a new pair of pajamas. "Are you okay, hon?"

"Y-yes," Theseus shivered, hugging his mother's leg in hopes that it would warm him up. "I'm cold, Mommy."

"I know, baby. You get to sleep all day tomorrow and get better. Then you can go back to school when you're done with this flu."

That being said, Aethra put her son back in his bed, got him a new quilt, shut off the lights, then went downstairs to make herself and Aegeus some dinner.

Phobos and Deimos were in their basement, chasing each other and playing a war game.

"I'm so happy we're not getting sick," said Deimos. "Because we already got the flu!"

"Yeah, and we were puking and Mommy stepped in it," Phobos smirked. "Can I have the blue sword?"

"No," snapped Deimos. "You get the green one!"

This resulted in the two of them wrestling on the ground. Meanwhile, Ares stood in the doorway, feeling very proud of his kids for learning the true meaning of wrestling. So he got out his phone, got a few pictures, and sent them to Aphrodite in a text that read: BOYS R FIGHTING. SO PROUD!

Bellerophon, on the other hand, didn't feel like playing with his toys in his playroom that night. He, like everyone else, had a burning sore throat and a stomachache, but it wasn't as bad as everyone else's was.

Glaucus came into his playroom and found his son on the floor in the fetal position. "What's wrong, buddy?" he asked Bellerophon.

Bellerophon stood up and threw up on Glaucus' shoes. "Sorry," he coughed. "It was an accident."

Glaucus grimaced. "'Sokay," he said bitterly. "Let's go get you cleaned up."

The next morning, Ms. Danaë woke up with a sore throat. _Great_ , she thought miserably. "Dictys, can you get the thermometer?"

Dictys felt her forehead. "Yeah. You're burning up, sweetheart."

"Guess I'll stay home with Perseus today," said Danaë.

"Mommy, can I cuddle with you?" asked Perseus. "My throat hurts."

"Honey, you know that Mommy would _love_ to cuddle with you," said Danaë. "But Mommy's sick, too."

"Does that mean Uncle P has to watch both of us?"

"No, honey. He's only watching you. Are you feeling better today?" Danaë said.

"Uh-huh," said Perseus. "Can I go back and play with my friends?"

"No," said Dictys. "I think both of you will be out for the rest of the week."

Danaë called herself and Perseus in sick again and rolled over and fell asleep. Downstairs, Perseus and Polydectes were watching a movie together while Dictys got ready to open the fish store.

"Daddy, what's a dick?" asked Perseus.

Polydectes smirked and Dictys whirled around. "Where'd you hear that?"

"Uncle P called you Dick," said Perseus.

Dictys gave an exasperated sigh and headed out the door.

It turned out that both Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë were sick. Psyche texted Danaë, saying how she called in sick and was getting over a slight fever. Danaë texted back, telling her she had a sore throat and a fever. Hedone—from what Psyche said—was still home, but was planning on going back to school tomorrow.

Ms. Hecate, later that day, sent out a note that said something along the lines of school being closed on Friday and will open again on Monday. Since everyone was basically really sick or still recovering, Ms. Hecate thought it would be best if everyone just stayed home and got this flu out of their systems.

Eros walked into Psyche's room. "Gods, I haven't seen Hedone eat that much even before she had the flu," he told Psyche. He kissed her on the cheek. "How are you feeling, baby girl?"

"I'm fine," Psyche sniffled.

"Can I get you anything?"

"I'll take some Advil and some crackers, please."

The people who were recovering nicely were Andromeda, Hebe, Fructus, Hedone, and a handful of other kids. Although Jason and Phaethon were mostly over it, they still had pretty bad coughs, so their parents decided to keep them home to rest up some more.

At Jason's house, Jason sat happily on the couch while he and his dad watched a movie together. Phaethon rode his trike around the kitchen while coughing all over everything in sight. Makaria still had some diarrhea, but she was now happily playing in the tub with her bath toys while Persephone smiled and washed her hair. Fructus was back to eating his normal diet of cereal and nothing fun. Hebe was bouncing on the couch while a frustrated Zeus tried to watch a football game. Hedone was eating well again. Andromeda started playing with her dollhouse. Perseus was starting to sleep less and eat more. Theseus was bouncing off the walls and being hyper again. Ms. Danaë and Ms. Psyche were both recovering nicely. And Bellerophon was feeling better, too.

It took about a week or so for the flu to work its way out of the preschool environment. So when everyone returned on Monday morning, Ms. Psyche asked how everyone was feeling. When the class responded, "FINE!", she knew they were in the clear.

 **That was the longest chapter I have ever written. I hope you guys liked this one! It took me about a week or so to write, so that's why I took so long!**


	12. Chapter 11: Secret Godly Santa

**Well, let's see if I can make** _ **this**_ **chapter as long! Let's fast-forward a month to Christmas!**

 **CHAPTER 11**

It was the Monday before winter break and Phaethon woke up, ready for a fun day of learning about stuff. He woke up, stretched, and headed into the bathroom to get ready. But when he looked out the window, he saw white stuff on the ground. Of course, he was seeing snow, but he didn't know what the right word for it was.

"Good morning, Phaethon," said Helios, knocking on the door before coming in. "What're you wearing—buddy, it's too cold outside for shorts."

"Daddy, what's that white stuff called?" asked Phaethon.

"It's called snow," said Helios. "And you can eat it, but not the yellow snow."

Phaethon shrugged. "Okay," he replied.

So Helios put him in a shirt and some jeans. Then he gave Phaethon a special treat for breakfast, which was very rare in their house: waffles and hot chocolate.

"Mm…" said Helios as he took the waffles off the waffle iron. "Is this your favorite breakfast in the history of the world, buddy?"

"Uh-huh," Phaethon said, smiling at his father. "Thanks, Daddy!"

Clymene walked into the kitchen to find her husband and her son eating waffles together. "Someone's in a sunny mood this morning," she said. "Phaethon, did you see all the pretty snow outside?"

"Yeah. Daddy told me not to eat the yellow stuff, but he said everything else is cool."

Clymene looked at Helios. "Why'd you tell him that?"

"Slipped out."

"I see." Clymene got herself some hot chocolate and waffles, too. "And you know what the snow means? It means we'll need to dig out your boots and snow pants for school today."

After Clymene dressed her son obsessively so that it was hard for him to move, Helios dropped Phaethon off at school. When they got inside of the office, they saw Ms. Medusa and Ms. Hecate hanging up Christmas decorations.

"Good morning, boys," said Ms. Hecate.

The door creaked open and Triptolemus walked in. He was holding two creatures by the hand. One of whom was a creature dressed in a pink coat and pink snow pants. The other creature was dressed in blue.

"Now what did Mommy say about Hebe?" said Trip.

"Daddy, I like her. She's sexy," said Fructus, ripping off his scarf and glaring at his father.

"Aw, you're so sweet," Hebe said, blushing furiously.

"How's Secret Godly Santa coming?" asked Ms. Medusa.

"Good. Fructus doesn't know where the Christmas party's at," said Trip.

Ms. Hecate looked at him. "I believe it's at Ms. Psyche's house," she said. "But I'm sure she'll mention it today."

Trip nodded and led the two kids into the classroom.

"Theseus, if Ms. Psyche sees big-boy behavior," said Aegeus, "Daddy will get you a gingerbread cookie when we get home."

"Okay. Love you," Theseus said, hugging his father and running to the carpet where everyone else was sitting.

"Good morning, class," said Ms. Psyche. "Does anyone notice anything different?"

The class looked around. Then Perseus raised his hand. "My mommy's not here!"

"Very good, Perseus. Do you want to tell us where she is today?"

"She's skiing with Daddy!"

"Is she having fun?" asked Ms. Psyche.

"Yes," said Perseus. "But they left me with Uncle P for the weekend."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Ms. Psyche, and she meant it. "Well, since Ms. Danaë won't be back till tomorrow, we have a special guest this morning. Everyone, this is Ms. Rhea."

Ms. Rhea waved. She was sitting between Hebe and Makaria.

"Ms. Rhea will be your teacher next year," said Ms. Psyche. "So she wanted to come in and meet everyone. There's another classroom down the hall. Has everyone heard of Ms. Athena's Academy? Well, Ms. Athena has decided to do something else with her life, so all of her preschoolers are coming over to our school next year!"

"Will you still be here, Ms. Psyche?" asked Andromeda.

"No, sweetie," said Ms. Psyche. "But I'll come in and visit sometime. And I think Ms. Rhea's other teacher is Ms. Leto, and you'll love both of them!

"Now, everyone, how's it going with Secret Godly Santa?"

"Good!"

"Good! So next week, we'll be having a party at my house to give presents, play games, and eat food. You kids can either have pizza or chicken. Your mommies and daddies can come, too. Yes, Perseus?"

"Can Ms. Rhea come, too?"

"Of course Ms. Rhea can come! Actually, she'll be helping me get ready!"

"What if Uncle P follows me to your house, Ms. Psyche?" Perseus demanded.

"He won't do that," said Ms. Psyche. "I sent a note to everyone, telling them what time to come. So let's move on to our calendar. Who can show Ms. Rhea what we've been practicing this year? Theseus, how about you?"

Theseus walked up to Ms. Psyche and stood next to the gigantic calendar.

"Theseus, what day is it?"

"Monday."

"Good job. And what's the month? Do you remember?"

"November?"

"Good guess. That was _last_ month. This month starts with a D. And what does a D say?"

"The D says 'duh'," said Theseus.

"Very good," Ms. Psyche said happily. "So what month starts with a D?"

"December!"

"Perfect! Here's your sticker!"

After Theseus put his sticker on his chart, Ms. Psyche asked someone to help Ms. Rhea do the weather.

"How about…Phaethon?" Ms. Psyche suggested.

Phaethon walked up to Ms. Rhea, who was now sitting in Ms. Psyche's chair.

"So, Phaethon," said Ms. Rhea, and Phaethon felt comfortable around his future teacher, "do you think it's hot outside?"

"Nope. It's cold outside, Ms. Rhea."

"Good job!" Ms. Rhea held up a stuffed bear with a bunch of different clothes that could be placed on it using Velcro. "So what should our little friend here wear today?"

"Mr. Bear should wear a coat and some jeans," said Phaethon. And he helped Ms. Rhea finish the weather. Then he went to Ms. Psyche to get his sticker.

"Great work this morning, class," said Ms. Psyche. "Now, we're going to—"

There was a knock on the door and Ms. Hecate showed up. "Hi, boys and girls. Sorry for the interruption, but I'm looking for Perseus."

Perseus' heart skipped a beat. Did Danaë and Dictys come back early from skiing? Or did they die?

Ms. Hecate took Perseus' hand and led him to the office, where Uncle P was signing him out.

"Uncle P? Why are _you_ in here?" Perseus demanded. "School's not over yet."

"You, my favorite nephew, have a doctor's appointment today," Uncle P smirked. "With lots of shots."

"I already saw Dr. 'Scleepus," said Perseus, remembering how nice Dr. Asclepius had been to him. "And I gotted one shot but he tickled me and I hardly felt it."

"Well, you're due for another five more shots," said Uncle P, grabbing Perseus' hand.

Perseus struggled all the way to the car. When Uncle P strapped him in, he glared at his uncle. "Uncle P, where are we going?"

"We, good sir, are going home to see if Mommy's home," said Uncle P. They drove passed a McDonald's (yes, Olympus has those now).

"Uncle P, can we get a Happy Meal?"

"No," Uncle P snapped. "Shut up and sing 'Jingle Bells'."

Perseus didn't know the words to that song yet, so he hummed along to the radio.

Soon they pulled into Perseus' driveway. Uncle P got out of the car and undid Perseus' seatbelt. They both walked up to the door and rang the bell.

Sure enough, Dictys and Danaë were bringing their stuff into the laundry room. Dictys was standing in the doorway, looking at Polydectes like, "What the hell is going on?"

"Hey, Dick! I have brought your son home from preschool," Uncle P said, shoving Perseus towards his father.

"Why'd you take him out of school?" Dictys snapped. "He loves it there."

"I know, but I'm a jackass and it's also Opposite Day." Uncle P walked into the house. "And for watching your son, I want money."

"Perseus, did Uncle P drink too much last night?" asked Dictys.

"No. But Uncle P threw me into the closet last night so I didn't get any sleep."

"Did you have your playdate with Andromeda this weekend?"

"No. Uncle P told me she had Ebola, so she couldn't play with me."

"Hi, baby!"

Danaë walked into the front hall and squashed her son in a hug. "We missed you!"

"I missed you, too," said Perseus. "Mommy, what's Ebola? Uncle P told me Andromeda had it and that's why I couldn't play with her."

"It's…" Danaë looked at Dictys. "It's something that makes you puke blood."

"Yuck," said Perseus.

"Yeah," said Dictys.

"Ms. Rhea came into our room today, Mommy. And she was so nice."

"I like Ms. Rhea, too. She'll be your teacher next year. Are you excited?"

"Yes," squeaked Perseus.

After that, the family of fishermen kicked Uncle P out with no money, and Uncle P was pissed.

Perseus never did end up going back to school because Danaë was exhausted after a weekend of skiing. So Dictys declared that everyone could have a day off.

Back at school, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Rhea split the kids up into groups. Ms. Psyche was teaching letters and Ms. Rhea was teaching the kids math using Christmas stuff.

"Who do we know in here with an A in their name?" asked Ms. Psyche.

Theseus raised his hand. "Ms. Psyche, Andromeda has an A. And so do Phaethon and Makaria and Jason."

"Very good, Theseus," said Ms. Psyche. "That's absolutely right! So who has a B in their name?"

Meanwhile, Ms. Rhea was teaching everyone how to count to ten using Christmas candies.

"Can you help me count, Hebe?"

Hebe counted until she reached ten candies.

"Good girl," said Ms. Rhea, smiling warmly at her group.

Then it was time to play outside, and it took freaking forever to put the kids into their snow gear. But when they finally got it on, they all ran outside and onto the playset.

"Guys," said Fructus, "I gots a good idea!"

"Does it involve farting?" snapped Phaethon.

"You mean _farming_?"

"Yeah. That."

"No," said Fructus. "You know the big slide? Well, I thought if we got enough snow and put it on the slide that it would be slippery. And we could slide really fastly down it."

"That's much better than your usual farming stuff," said Phaethon. "Let's get all the girls to do it and then we can impress 'em!"

So Andromeda, Hebe, Makaria, and Hedone started throwing snow on the slide.

Phaethon was the referee. "We now present Fructus, god of farting!"

"It's fruits, mama's boy!" Fructus snapped. "This one's for you, Hebe!"

"Fructus, let's slide on our butt and not our feet," Ms. Psyche said.

Fructus sighed. "Okay, Ms. Psyche." And he pushed off the platform. "AGRICULTURE!" and he landed on a huge block of ice. "Oh…my butt hurts."

Hebe helped him up. "Are you okay?" she asked, giving him a hug.

Fructus nodded reluctantly.

"And here comes Jason, who doesn't have a mommy!"

"Phaethon, I hope you're not making fun of Jason," Ms. Rhea said.

"No. I'm just telling the truth."

"That's not nice, sweetie-pie," said Ms. Rhea.

Jason slid down the slide, looking like the insult Phaethon just threw at him didn't faze him. "That hurt my feelings, Phaethon!"

"Sorry," Phaethon said. "Next up is Theseus, who helped Ms. Psyche this morning!"

Theseus slid down the slide and took a small bow while the majority of the class clapped for him.

After playtime, it was time for lunch. Ms. Psyche and Ms. Rhea handed the kids some mac-and-cheese, a hot dog, some grapes, some carrots, and chocolate pudding for dessert.

"Too bad Perseus missed this one," said Phaethon. "This is awesome."

"Ms. Rhea, can I have some water, please?" asked Andromeda.

"Of course, honey." And Ms. Rhea ran to get Andromeda some water.

"Ms. Rhea," said Bellerophon, "whose mommy are _you_?"

"I'm Miss Hestia's mommy," said Ms. Rhea.

"Oh," said the table of, like, six kids.

"I thought you were Hebe's," said Theseus. "You guys look alike."

Ms. Rhea looked at Hebe. "I guess that makes sense, Theseus."

"Is everyone done eating?" asked Ms. Psyche. "It's naptime now. We're going back to playtime in the morning."

"Ms. Psyche," said Fructus, "what do you and Ms. Danaë do during naptime?"

"We do homework," said Ms. Psyche, smiling at Fructus. "Now go see Ms. Rhea for your cot, honey."

All the kids slept very well, now that their stomachs were full of food from lunchtime. Ms. Psyche didn't even put on the usual Greek music the kids liked to hear.

When dismissal time came, everyone said goodbye to Ms. Rhea and waited for their parents.

Aegeus walked into the classroom to pick Theseus up, hoping not to hear bad news for once.

Ms. Psyche walked up to him, and for once, she was smiling. This was weird because Theseus always brought out the worst in Ms. Psyche. "Theseus was such a good boy today," she told Aegeus. "He helped me with the calendar and he didn't hit anybody today. I think his behavior's really improving."

"Excellent, because that means he gets a gingerbread cookie," said Aegeus. "Aethra made some last night with him, so I promised him one after school today."

"Oh, have her bring some to the Christmas party," said Ms. Psyche.

Later that night, everyone headed out to get Secret Godly Santa presents. They had all chosen names last Friday and were really looking forward to giving their gifts to their classmates.

Hera and Hebe went to the toy store to get something for her classmate.

"Would he like this one?" asked Hera.

"Yeah," said Hebe.

In the next aisle, Jason looked at Aeson. "Daddy, do you think she'll like this?"

"Of course she will," said Aeson, heading to the checkout line.

A few days later, Ms. Psyche was getting ready for her big party. The others were supposed to arrive at any moment, but Ms. Psyche still had to figure out what kind of pizza to get for the kids, and what to get for the adults. She eventually decided on cheese, sausage, and pepperoni, just as the doorbell rang.

"Hi, guys," she said happily, opening the door for Bellerophon and his parents. "Come on in! Hedone! People are starting to get here! Can you help Daddy with the tree?"

"Yes, Mommy!"

Hedone ran over to Eros, who was busy putting the final touches on their Christmas tree.

Bellerophon walked into the room, holding Eurynome's hand.

"You and Hedone can go and play in the playroom, honey," said Psyche.

"Is Ms. Rhea coming?"

"Yes, and she'll be watching all the kids while the adults have fun, too," said Psyche. "Now run along and play, you two." And the doorbell rang again.

This time, Eros answered it, looking down at Theseus. "Hey, Theseus."

"Hey, Mr. Eros, sir." Theseus bowed. "I have come because I need to give out a present."

"Come on in," said Eros. Then he pulled Aegeus aside. "What's wrong with him?"

"I told him he needed to be a good boy tonight, or Godly Santa would put coal in his stocking," said Aegeus.

"I see," said Eros. "Come into the kitchen. Psyche's about to make drinks—"

"Eros, I'll take the door and you can make drinks," said Psyche. "Hi, Theseus. Everyone's in the playroom."

Theseus skipped merrily into the playroom.

"Well," said Psyche, "he's in a good mood today."

As the doorbell kept ringing, more guests kept coming. Psyche and Danaë were constantly putting gifts under the tree so the kids could get them later.

Back in Hedone's playroom, Ms. Rhea was dancing with some of the kids, while the rest of them drew pictures.

"Ms. Rhea, I can jump way higher than Fructus," Hebe bragged. And she jumped, like, two inches off the ground while Fructus jumped three.

"Good job, Hebe," said Ms. Rhea. "Does everyone know 'the Chicken Dance?'"

"No," said half the kids.

"Good. I'll teach you!"

Back in the kitchen, some of the parents were helping out with dinner for their kids. Psyche was putting pizza on the counter and Danaë was pouring drinks. All of the kids were getting hungry, and the parents could tell, because their kids kept walking into the living room and asking when dinner was.

When Psyche saw Deimos walking towards Ares for the millionth time, she smiled to herself. "Deimos, would you be a helper and go get the rest of the kids?"

"What about Ms. Rhea?"

"And Ms. Rhea."

"Okay, Ms. Psyche."

Deimos ran into the playroom. He dragged the rest of the class into the kitchen, where they sat around the table and waited for their pizza.

"Parents, how about you help your kids get dinner," said Hecate, who'd arrived a few minutes ago with Medusa and Hestia. "And all the adults are eating in the dining room!"

Hera slid a plate of sausage pizza over to Hebe, while Aegeus slid a slice of cheese over to Theseus.

Once all the kids had gotten their food, all the adults headed into the dining room.

Since all the kids were so tiny, they could easily fit two people on a chair. But since there were twenty-five adults, Eros and Psyche had put up small tables to accommodate everybody. Their house was huge anyway, so it was all good.

"Mommy!" called Perseus as he ran into the dining room. "My tooth feels weird."

"Did Uncle P punch you?" asked Dictys.

"No. I think it's loose."

"You're growing up, honey. Keep wiggling it and it'll fall out before you know it," said Danaë.

Perseus pushed on his tooth with his tongue. "Okay," he said, running back into the kitchen.

"If I punch you in the mouth," said Phobos, "would it fall out?"

"I guess," said Perseus. "But I don't like when stuff hurts."

"Never said I would actually punch you. Daddy says I should only punch my enemies."

"What's an enemy?"

"I don't know."

"Guys, can someone tell Fructus that only girls can have babies?" said Hebe.

"Are you two really still fighting over that?" asked Andromeda.

"Yes," Hebe snapped. "Fructus just doesn't get it."

"Anyone want seconds?" asked Hecate.

"Ms. Hecate, only girls have babies, right?" said Hebe.

"Yes, dear."

"Ms. Hecate, can I have another piece of sausage?" asked Andromeda.

"Of course. Anyone else?"

"Can I have some more Kool-Aid?" asked Theseus.

"How about you ask Mommy first," said Hecate.

After everyone was stuffed from dinner, Psyche gathered everyone into the living room for Secret Godly Santa.

"So, Andromeda, how about you start," said Psyche.

Andromeda walked up to the tree, grabbed her present, and walked over to Theseus. "Here you go, Theseus," she said, handing him a large box.

Theseus looked up at her. Then he ripped off the paper and opened the box. "Wow!" For inside the box, he found a huge bag of M&Ms and an M&M pillow. "Thanks, Andromeda!"

Bellerophon walked over to Phaethon and gave him his gift, a superhero coloring book. Next, Deimos gave Andromeda a poster book dedicated to princesses.

Fructus ran to Makaria and handed her a neatly-wrapped box. When Makaria opened it, she found she was staring at a cereal box.

"It's Count Chocula," Fructus explained. "It's my favoritest cereal ever!"

"Thanks?" said Makaria uncertainly.

"Of _course_ you gave my daughter a box of freaking cereal," snapped Hades in Demeter's direction.

"That's your indirect punishment for taking my daughter," snapped Demeter.

Persephone sat in a corner, rolling her eyes.

Hebe walked over to Jason and handed him his present. When Jason opened it, he was staring at a Build-Your-Own-Sailboat kit. "Thank you, Hebe," he said.

"You're welcome," Hebe said, giving him a hug.

"Zeus, get off your phone," Hera snapped.

"I'm texting people," snapped Zeus.

"Ms. Hecate, is there a rule in preschool about phones?" said Hera.

"Moving on!" Hecate cried quickly. "Hedone, your turn."

Hedone handed Hebe her present, which was a collection of princess dress-up clothes and magic princess wands.

"You and Andromeda can play together with those," said Hera.

"Okay!" said Hebe.

And so it continued. Jason gave Phobos a book of scary stories for kids. Makaria gave Bellerophon a fake horse head on a pole so he could pretend he was riding a horse around his house. Perseus gave Deimos a book about monsters. Phaethon gave Fructus one of the funniest gifts ever.

"Oh, Frucky!" Demeter squealed. "He gave you three free boxes of cereal coupons from Olympus-Mart! Wasn't that sweet of him?"

Fructus was hoping for something cool, like candy or a toy. But he said, "Thanks, Phaethon," and looked at the three slips of paper his mother held in front of his face.

Phobos gave Perseus a new fish pillow so he could get rid of his old one…and Dictys and Danaë sighed with relief because no matter how many times they washed it, it still smelled like fish.

Theseus ran over to the tree and got a box out for Hedone. "Here's my present," he told her. "You said you liked playing house, so I got you a box you can decorate and play house in!"

"Oh, thanks, Theseus!" Hedone said.

"Can we clap, boys and girls?" said Hecate. "Yay! Thank you all for the presents!"

The preschoolers clapped and smiled at their friends.

After that, Psyche and Danaë got a few games together and played those with the preschoolers. All of the parents were forced to play Charades, even if it involved Zeus being on his phone the whole time.

"You're a person!" Hera screamed. "Godly Santa!"

"Yeah," said Hades miserably. "I suck at this game."

"You suck at everything," Demeter said.

"I know," Hades smirked.

By the time eight rolled around, all the kids were basically either sleeping or trying to sleep. Rhea put on a holiday movie for them and she closed the door to the playroom so the noise wouldn't bother them.

Of course, it's not an Olympian party if no one's drunk, and the only two people who were wasted were Zeus and Helios. Zeus had had one too many glasses of wine, and Helios had had one too many glasses of egg nog.

It was now time to go home, but for the parents, it was time to get their cranky children in bed. So they all carefully made their way to Hedone's playroom.

Cepheus and Dictys walked into the playroom and stopped in front of Andromeda and Perseus.

"I like those two together," said Cepheus.

"Me, too," said Dictys. He picked up his son and threw him over his shoulder. Cepheus picked up Andromeda and the two of them headed outside into the cold.

"Fructus, we have to go now," said Demeter, slapping her son gently on the face.

"Go away," Fructus groaned in his sleep.

"I'll carry him," said Trip. And he followed the rest of the families outside into the cold, cold winter.

A couple days later, it was Christmas Eve and all the kids were getting ready for Godly Santa.

"Phaethon," called Clymene. "Come upstairs and get ready for bed before Godly Santa passes over us!"

At Bellerophon's house, Bellerophon was trying to handle the Christmas cookies. "Daddy, can I put by the fireplace?"

"No. I don't want you spilling all over the place," said Glaucus.

In the Underworld, Hades was reading a book to Makaria when Persephone walked in. "Why are you changing all the words to swears?"

"Because this story's stupid," said Hades. "Makaria's loving it!"

Makaria was rolling around on the floor, laughing her head off.

Persephone clucked disapprovingly. "I hope Godly Santa doesn't miss us because a little goddess wasn't in her bed."

Makaria shut up. "Really?" So Hades got his daughter ready for bedtime and Makaria was asleep within a few minutes.

The next morning was Christmas. Godly Santa had been good to all the preschoolers this year.

"Andromeda, wake up," said Cepheus. "It's time to see if he came last night."

Andromeda ran into her parents' room and bounced on her mother. "Mommy. Wake. Up!" she yelled. "Time for presents! Time for presents!"

Cassiopeia groaned and got out of bed. But by that point, Andromeda was already downstairs.

Cassiopeia walked down the stairs to Cepheus making hot chocolate (what the family drank on Christmas) and Andromeda singing "Jingle Bells".

"Andromeda, stop singing," snarled Cassiopeia. "Mommy's tired."

"Make me!" her daughter screamed.

Cepheus turned around to look out the window so no one could see him laughing.

Across the street, Perseus was ripping open his own presents. He got a bunch of fishing stuff and a bunch of movies. Now he and Phaethon could watch them together next time they played!

"Hey, buddy," said Dictys, "Uncle P's coming over."

"Why? Why must you torture me with him?" demanded Perseus.

"Because he said he had a present for you, and I invited him for dinner, though I'm not sure why."

"Well, that sucks."

"I know, buddy. I know."

The doorbell rang.

"Hey, Dictys!" Polydectes said. "Hey, P-man!"

Perseus looked out from behind Dictys' legs and gave Uncle P a slight smile.

"Merry Christmas!" Polydectes said, handing Perseus a wrapped present. "It's an awesome gift!"

Perseus unwrapped the present. What could it be? Maybe it was a fishing pole! Or maybe it was something like a pair of floaties (Perseus lost his floaties last year when he went swimming).

"You got me…a box?" asked Perseus.

"Not just any box," said Polydectes. "Don't you know what you can do with a box? Pretend it's a house! Or pretend you're going to a distant planet! Or you could put a picture of your mother in here so she'll always be with me…oh, I might've forgotten to mention I'll need the box back if you do that."

"Can I draw on it?"

"Sure!" said Polydectes.

"Perseus, go put the box in your playroom and you can play with it later," said Dictys.

Perseus ran off into the playroom and started to watch one of his movies. Dictys led Polydectes into the kitchen.

"Danaë," Polydectes sang, coming up to his sister-in-law and opening his arms for a hug. Danaë hated giving him hugs, but it was Christmas so she did. And Polydectes hugged for literally ten minutes.

After feeling incredibly awkward, Danaë put some ham into the oven and began peeling potatoes.

"Oh, I love ham!" said Perseus, running into the kitchen. He ran up to Danaë and pulled on her hand. "Mommy, can I help?"

"Sure. You can help Mommy put these potatoes into the water." Danaë handed him some potatoes. "Be careful because the water's very hot."

"Hey, P-man," said Polydectes. "Guess what I got?"

"Another present?" said Perseus as he dropped the final potato into the water.

"Nope. You gave me the flu," said Polydectes. "And I was sick all last week."

Perseus looked at Uncle P. "Okay."

"Were you _actually_ sick?" asked Dictys.

"Yeah," said Polydectes bitterly. "Fever of a hundred and two, diarrhea, and vomiting…sometimes both at the same time. Really fun…really fun."

At Jason's house, Jason was playing on his new mini trampoline while Aeson made pancakes and sausages for breakfast.

"Daddy! Lookit me! I'm going so high!" Jason yelled.

"Yeah, buddy. You're going _really_ high," said Aeson. "Just be careful that you don't fall and get hurt."

Jason jumped off the trampoline and bolted for the table, just as his father put down a bunch of pancakes and sausage on the table.

"Now, since it's Christmas," said Aeson, "how about some chocolate milk?"

"Yes, please!" Jason replied.

Aeson ran to the fridge, got some chocolate syrup and milk, and poured the both of them a huge glassful of the awesome stuff. Soon after, Jason had a milk mustache and Aeson was handing him a napkin.

Back at Theseus' house, Theseus was—as usual—bouncing off the walls while Aegeus and Aethra made Christmas dinner.

"Theseus, Phaethon will be over in a few minutes," said Aethra. "So, come take your medicine, dear."

"I don't wanna take that yucky medicine!" Theseus yelled.

"If you don't take it, then you can go sit in the timeout spot," said Aethra, "and you won't be able to play with Phaethon and he'll be lonely all night."

Theseus tried to resist, but his mother was right. So he took his anti-ADHD medication and calmed down enough where he wasn't jumping all over the place.

Later on, the doorbell rang.

"Hi, guys," said Aethra. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas!" said Helios and Clymene. Phaethon stood in between his parents, looking tired.

"He's sleepy, aren't you, buddy?" said Helios, picking up Phaethon and stepping inside the house.

"Do you wants to watch my new movies?" asked Theseus.

"Sure," Phaethon yawned.

Fructus and Hebe were having a great time, too. While their parents were cooking dinner, Hebe and Fructus were playing with Fructus' new game: The Amazing Agricultural Adventure.

"You gets to move two spaces to the farm house," Hebe told him.

"Okay. This card says _Action Agriculture_ ," said Fructus.

"How do you know how to read?" Hebe demanded.

"Mommy showed me how to play this game," Fructus said. "Okay, it says, _Get a box of cereal and come up with a silly name for it_."

Hebe ran to the pantry, got out a box of cereal, and named it Crappy Crunch.

Eros, Psyche, and Hedone had all gone to Ares' house for dinner. The only cool thing that happened was Ares spilling his beer on Aphrodite's head and then the pair of them making out in front of everyone at the dinner table.

"Mommy, why's Grandma Aphro crazy?" asked Hedone.

"Because, sweetheart, she just is," said Psyche.

"Mom!" Eros yelled. "Mom! We have children here!"

"Oh." Aphrodite looked at Ares. "Right. Upstairs we go, then!"

And what about Bellerophon and Makaria? Makaria was actually at Fructus' house but she was sitting with Persephone because she didn't get her nap that day. On the other hand, Bellerophon was marching around his living room, breaking ornaments here and there, and basically breaking everything else in sight, too.

 **The end. And what should our little preschoolers do for New Year? I hope you guys liked this Christmas chapter in the middle of freaking July! Please keep reviewing!**


	13. Chapter 12: Happy New Year

**Thanks to Paperboy Jacky for this idea of New Year's! I am putting all of our preschoolers into this chapter, but my main focus is on Perseus and Andromeda (honestly, they are the two I enjoy writing about the most).**

 **FanFiction is being evil because every time I upload a doc and check it over, they change my bold stuff so now Icy is sad. :(**

 **Well...please enjoy!**

 **CHAPTER 12**

All the kids were eventually getting the point that Christmas lasts until December twenty-sixth, and then it's time to take the decorations down. At least, that's how it worked on Olympus.

Hedone woke up the morning after Christmas to go into her playroom and play with her new stuff. She ran into the living room to find the tree was only half-there. Where did it go?

"Good morning," Psyche said, kissing Hedone on the head.

"Morning," Hedone managed. "Mommy, did our tree break?"

"No, sweetheart," said Psyche. "Christmas is over, so we have to take the tree down."

Hedone started to cry. "But…but…"

"You'll see the tree again next year," Eros said.

"What should we do today, Hedone? Do you want to try out your new numbers game?" asked Psyche.

"Sure," Hedone said sadly.

Meanwhile, Hebe was having a lovely morning, too.

"STOP SCREAMING, HEBE!" Zeus yelled at her. "YOU'RE SUCH A SPOILED LITTLE SH—"

"Zeus, be nice to Hebe," said Rhea, who was over that day to help the family take down their stuff.

"This isn't the right TOY!" Hebe yelled. "Godly Santa sucks!"

"Go to your room," Zeus snarled. "I'm sick and tired of you always crying about what you don't have. Count your blessings, dammit!"

Hebe threw her pretend car toy on the ground, where it shattered, and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Soon there was a knock on the door. "Hebe, it's Mommy. Open up, please."

Hebe wiped her nose on her hand so that her hand was completely covered in snot, then opened the door for Hera.

"Honey, why are you so upset today?" asked Hera, sitting with Hebe in her beanbag chair.

"'Cause Godly Santa forgotted I wanted the doll game, not the Olympian Wheels game," Hebe sobbed into her shoulder.

"Honey, sometimes we don't get what we want," said Hera firmly, "but we should learn to make the best of what we _do_ have."

Hebe pouted, then looked at the door. "I think Daddy's mad at me."

"I think he is, too," Hera said darkly. "I think you should go downstairs and say sorry, or Mommy won't let you have pop on New Year's."

Hebe went downstairs, where she and Zeus made up, and Hera said she could drink pop on New Year's Eve.

"FRUCTUS! CLEAN THIS MESS UP!"

Demeter was making some fruitcake (ew!), when she stepped on one of Fructus' Legos. After swearing in five different languages, she finally abandoned her post to yell at her son.

It turned out that Fructus was playing house under the table with Trip. Demeter pulled the tablecloth up to reveal her son and her husband having a tea party. Fructus seemed to be the only one who was enjoying himself. Trip looked like he wanted to kill himself.

"Fructus, Mommy can't keep stepping on your toys all day," Demeter said. "So pick 'em up, or you won't get fruitcake."

"Why does Uncle Hades call me that?" asked Fructus, crawling out from underneath the table and reaching for his Legos.

"Because Uncle Hades is an ass-face," said Trip.

"I should call him that next time I see him," said Fructus.

"Yes, honey," said Demeter. "Yes, you should."

At Bellerophon's house, Bellerophon was helping Glaucus clean up all the ornaments while Eurynome went to the store to get New Year's stuff.

"Buddy, you think you can control your accidents once in a great while?" asked Glaucus, slightly annoyed.

"Dr. 'Scleepus said I have a problem, Daddy."

"Well, Dr. Asclepius also said he'd send you to a psychologist, but that ain't a-gonna happen, now is it?"

In the Underworld, Hades was cleaning up the wrapping paper because Makaria was spoiled rotten that year.

"Makaria, did you have a nice Christmas?" asked Hades. See? He _does_ care!

"Yes, Daddy. I loved all of my presents…except the fruitcake Aunty Demeter sent us."

"Don't tell her, but I threw it out."

"Isn't Mommy gonna be mad at you for that?"

"No. She said it was okay." Hades gave Makaria her new bead-making kit. "Do you wanna make a necklace or a bracelet or something cute?"

"Sure," said Makaria, going into the kitchen and pulling out a foot-long piece of string.

It was a day before New Year's Eve and Clymene, Helios, and Phaethon were having a family day at the store. Of course, Phaethon was incredibly bored, so he started looking for something to distract himself.

That's when he saw it: the two aisles of nonstop candy! And Phaethon began to drool.

"C'mon, dear," called Clymene. "We told Mr. Aeson we'd bring the poppers."

"Mommy, can we get some fries? I'm starving!" Phaethon begged.

"Honey, we'll eat lunch at home today."

Phaethon sighed lightly and looked at his father. "Daddy, I'm bored."

Helios smiled and pulled out a tiny car from Clymene's purse. Phaethon grabbed it and started playing with it on his arm.

"Well, look who it is," said Clymene, who was pushing a cart full of New Year's stuff. "It's Bellerophon and his parents! Phaethon! Go say hello to your friend!"

But Phaethon was already hugging Bellerophon and they were both sharing stories about their toys.

"I already broked three of them," said Bellerophon.

"Dude, you're such an idiot," said Phaethon.

"What time are we supposed to be at Aeson's tomorrow?" asked Eurynome.

"I think he said six, but I could be wrong. Who's getting the champagne?" asked Clymene.

"Aethra said she'd get it," said Eurynome. "I talked to her last night."

"We're supposed to get pop for the kids," said Clymene. "Phaethon, please put the chocolate down. We've got plenty of healthy food at home."

Phaethon waited until Clymene had her back turned, then stuck his tongue out at her. "Bye, Bellerophon."

"Bye, Phaethon. See you later!"

It was New Year's Eve, and all the preschoolers were about to experience one of the greatest holidays known to man.

Ares was hanging up decorations while Aphrodite blew up balloons. Eros and Psyche were going to be here any minute with Hedone, and they hadn't done a thing!

"Ares, I feel dizzy," Aphrodite complained.

"Aphro, you're supposed to use the balloon pump," Ares told her firmly. "I told you that five minutes ago!"

"I don't have to listen to you," snapped Aphrodite. The doorbell rang shortly after she said that. "Get the door," she ordered.

Ares thought about the many reasons why he married Aphrodite, when he opened the door to find Eros, Psyche, and Hedone. Secretly, Ares liked Psyche, but she was too freaking nice and totally not into war like _he_ was.

"Happy New Year's Eve!" said Eros. "We brought the champagne, Dad!"

"Oh, my wittle Eros!" Aphrodite squealed. "And Psyche," she said with much less enthusiasm. "And your kid—"

"Hedone," snapped Psyche.

"Yeah, yeah, okay." Aphrodite let them inside the house. "Phobos and Deimos are downstairs taking their nap, so you can just slap them a few times and they'll wake up eventually. That's how Ares wakes 'em up!"

Phaethon's and Bellerophon's families had just arrived at Aeson's house. When Phaethon rang the doorbell, he was attacked by Theseus, who was apparently extremely hyper again today.

"Dude, chillax," said Phaethon. "We've got all night."

"Hon, you boys have till eight-thirty," said Clymene. "Then we're putting you to bed because you're three and won't be a happy camper tomorrow."

"Oh, come on, Clymene," said Helios. "It's the last night before 2015! Let the kid have fun!"

"Oh…oh, all right," Clymene gave in.

When Phaethon and Bellerophon went into Jason's basement, they immediately saw Jason's new trampoline.

"Wow…" Bellerophon breathed. "Neat…"

"Thanks. Daddy says we can take turns," said Jason.

"You guys know that annoying kid Hebe?" said Phaethon. "She has a super hard time taking turns."

"She's _so_ annoying," said Theseus.

"Even more annoying than that kid Fructus, whose parents are the gods of farting," said Phaethon. Then he spotted _Cards Against Humanity_ and pulled out a black card. "Can you guys read yet?"

"No," said Jason. "My dad says I can't play that till I'm a big boy."

"Well, I guess we can wait till then." Phaethon put the Bigger, Blacker Box away and sat in front of the TV in Jason's playroom.

It was about six-thirty when Cassiopeia pulled out some frozen pizzas from the oven. "Kids! Eat this processed food!"

Perseus and Andromeda, who were playing with Andromeda's toys in the playroom, ran out into the kitchen, where Cepheus and Danaë were getting their plates ready.

"Who wants sausage and who wants pepperoni?" asked Danaë.

"Can I have pepperoni?" asked Perseus.

"Of course," said Cepheus. "What would _you_ like, Dromie?"

"I'll have sausage, please," said Andromeda.

Then the doorbell rang.

"Who's that?" asked Dictys.

"Okay, I know you're gonna kill me," said Cepheus, "and I hate him, too. But I invited Polydectes over for the night."

"Of course you did," said Perseus and Andromeda.

"Now, kids," said Danaë, "he won't bother you _too_ much."

"Actually, I told him he can hang with us and the kids," said Cepheus sheepishly.

Everyone, even Cassiopeia, gave him a nasty stare.

"Sorry?" Cepheus said uncertainly, going over to the door. "Hi, Polydectes."

"Hey, Cepheus. Listen, thanks for having me over. I have to drink with _someone_." Polydectes and Cepheus walked into the kitchen, Polydectes carrying a huge bottle of champagne. "Didn't wanna show up empty-handed."

"Thanks," said Cassiopeia politely, taking the bottle from him.

"Can we have some, Mommy?" asked Andromeda.

"No," said Cassiopeia. "This is a grown-up drink. Now, you can have milk or pop with dinner…or water."

"Can we have pop?" asked Perseus.

Cassiopeia looked at Danaë, who nodded and smiled at her son. Cassiopeia and Dictys gave their kids each a small bottle of Coke, and headed into the dining room to have some champagne.

"Why's this got bubbles?" asked Andromeda.

"I don't know," said Perseus, looking at his Coke like it was about to burst. "Maybe it'll esplode or something."

"If it's gonna esplode, I'm not drinking it," said Andromeda. "Your mommy might know. She's a teacher and teachers now everything."

So the two of them ran into the dining room, but their path was blocked by Polydectes.

"Uh," said Perseus, "'scuse me, Uncle P."

"What's the password?"

"Danaë?"

"Correct!" Polydectes let the kids into the dining room.

"Mommy, when we drink pop, will it esplode?" asked Perseus.

"No, honey," said Danaë. "It'll make you burp."

Perseus and Andromeda looked at each other in awe. "Okay," said Perseus, leading Andromeda back into the kitchen. "So, she said it'll make us burp."

"Is that what Theseus does at the table at school?"

"Yeah," said Perseus. "So, I think we should each take a sip, then we should burp together."

"Okay," Andromeda agreed.

"Ah…" Polydectes said, coming into the kitchen to check up on the kids, "a burping contest, eh? You know, P-man, when we were little, your father and I used to have those all the time. Now of course, being the cooler one that I am, I always won and he would puke on the floor."

"Uncle P, can you open this?" asked Perseus.

Polydectes grunted and opened the cans of pop for the kids. "Now, chug it," he ordered.

Perseus and Andromeda began to drink the Coke really fast. Suddenly, they felt something rise in their throats.

"Uncle P," said Perseus, "I feel funny."

"Let it out, kiddos. Let it out."

Perseus and Andromeda burped so loudly that everyone came into the kitchen.

Danaë and Cepheus looked at their children. "What was _that_?" asked Danaë.

"Uncle P said to do it," said Perseus gleefully.

"Perseus, what do you say?" Dictys demanded.

"Screw you, Uncle P!"

"No, buddy."

"Oh, right. 'Scuse me."

Dictys patted him on the head and they left the kids to laugh at their great success.

After dinner, the sugar high started to kick in. So Perseus and Andromeda decided it was a wonderful idea to go outside and play in the snow. Of course, Uncle P was told to watch them so they wouldn't go into the street.

"So," said Perseus, "what should we do?"

"We can build snowmen, or make snow angels, or we could make a snow fort!" Andromeda giggled happily.

"You guys can do all of those things," said Uncle P. "I'll show you!" So Uncle P made a fort and told Perseus and Andromeda to make a snowman while he made a bunch of snowballs.

"Uncle P, why you holding snowballs?" asked Perseus.

"Well, my friends, have you ever thrown snowballs at cars before?"

"No," said Andromeda.

"Well, I'll help you," said Polydectes. "Get in the fort."

All three of them got in the fort Uncle P had made so well. Then the kids got on each side of Uncle P.

"We just need to wait for a car," said Uncle P. That's when he saw it. He saw a blue car driving down the street. "Have you actually met your grandfather?" asked Uncle P.

"No," said Perseus. "Mommy won't let him near me."

"Well, if your mommy can stand me," said Polydectes bitterly, "then she can stand Acrisius. Ready, aim, FIRE!"

Uncle P threw a bunch of snowballs at Acrisius' car. Acrisius slammed on the breaks, got out of the car, and began walking towards the fort.

"Oh, sugar plums," Uncle P hissed bitterly. "Everybody down!"

"Is that another word for _shit_?" asked Perseus.

"Who taught you that word?"

"You call me that all the time, Uncle Poop Face!"

The three of them huddled in the snow fort until they saw Acrisius, a tall dude in a black coat.

"Who threw that snowball at my car?" snarled Acrisius.

Polydectes looked up from the snow. "Hey, A-man."

"WHO THREW THAT SNOWBALL AT MY CAR?!" Acrisius yelled.

"Cepheus," said Polydectes. "It's all his fault. He's not here to defend himself, so I'll do it for him."

Acrisius shook his head and slapped Polydectes across the face. "Don't lie to me, Polydectes," he growled in his ear. "I _know_ it was you."

"So why'd you ask who it was?" snapped Polydectes.

"Where's my daughter?" snapped Acrisius. "Where is she?"

"She's inside having booze," said Polydectes. "This is your grandson, Perseus, and his woman, Andromeda."

"Hey," said Acrisius shortly. "I'll forgive this if you let me in on your little party, Polydectes."

"Uh…that's up to the dudes in there," said Polydectes.

"I gotta pee," said Acrisius. "They got a bathroom in there?"

"Uncle P said to pee in the snow and try to write your name," said Perseus.

"Uh…" Acrisius looked at his grandson. "Okay?"

"Acrisius?"

Cepheus had come outside. "Come on in! I'm sure Danaë would love to see you again!"

Acrisius smiled (though it looked more like a smirk), and followed Cepheus inside.

"Uncle P," said Perseus, "I'm freezing my ass off out here."

"Me, too," said Andromeda. "I'm freezing my ass off, too."

"You know you shouldn't be saying those words," said Polydectes firmly, "or your parents will punish the Hades outta you."

"Uncle P, you taught them to me. And then Phaethon taught them to Andromeda because Phaethon thinks he's so badass," said Perseus flatly.

"Let's go back inside," said Uncle P bitterly. "Come on, children!"

At Jason's house, Theseus was bouncing on the trampoline and cussing out Phaethon because he was shooting him with Nerf balls. Bellerophon and Jason were looking at each other like they didn't know what to do.

"I'm kinda bored," said Theseus. "You guys wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure," said Phaethon. "Jason, can we have popcorn?"

"No. I forgot to tell Daddy that we needed some, so we don't gots any," said Jason sadly.

"You suck," said Bellerophon.

"Kids! Dinner!" called Aethra from the doorway.

"Mommy, can we eat in here?" asked Theseus.

"No, honey. We're eating at the table." And Aethra led the four of them upstairs.

"Okay," said Aeson. "Who's hungry?"

"ME!" the four kids yelled.

"Excellent, 'cause we've got pizza and fries!" said Helios, pulling the food out of the oven. "Line up if you want food!"

"I go first," called Phaethon.

"Move it," snapped Jason. "I live here, so I gets to go first!"

"All four of you," said Glaucus, "can sit down at the table now."

The four boys sat down at the table and their parents handed their food to them. Then they went into the living room to have a few more drinks while their food kept cooking.

Meanwhile, back at Andromeda's house, dinnertime was over for the kids.

"Ms. Danaë," said Andromeda, "can we have some cookies, too?"

Danaë and Cepheus had just gotten a bunch of desserts out. There were cookies, cupcakes, and a huge container of vanilla ice cream.

"Sure," said Danaë. "What would you like? Do you want an M&M cookie or a chocolate-chip cookie?"

"An M&M one, please. And can we have ice cream, too?"

"Of course," said Cepheus.

"Mr. S," said Perseus, "is Grandpa A going to stay here?"

"Who's Mr. S?" asked Cepheus as he bit into a cookie.

"You. Your name starts with an S because the S says _sss_ ," said Perseus.

"Oh, buddy, my name actually starts with a C," said Cepheus.

"Nuh-uh," snapped Perseus. "It starts with an S!"

"Honey, some letters make different noises," said Danaë sweetly.

Perseus folded his arms. "I don't like letters anymore."

Back in the dining room, Acrisius was interrogating Dictys. "So, how did you propose to her again?"

"I took her out to a nice dinner and I asked her to marry me," said Dictys.

"And, I forgot, what does she do for a living?"

"She's a preschool teacher until this spring. And after that, I have no idea what she'll be up to."

"And do you work?" asked Acrisius.

"Yeah," said Dictys, sipping his champagne. "I fish on warm days. In the fall and winter, I run my fish store."

"What's it called?"

"I'm sure you've heard of it. It's called Dictys' Fish Fry. It's on the corner of Immortal Drive and Olympus Avenue. And it has a full restaurant in it. That's how I met Danaë."

"What does Poly do?"

"I'm not sure. He tells me something different every time I ask him. Polydectes, where do you work again?"

"I work at that one place that doesn't exist. Dick, I'm a king! I don't really work! Actually, I'm a professional stalker."

"Indeed," said Dictys dramatically.

"If I hear that again, Andromeda," snapped Cassiopeia from the other room, "you're going in the garage for the rest of tonight!"

"I just said I was freezing my ass off outside!"

"Let's not say that, hon," said Cepheus. "Why don't you kids go play in the playroom?"

Andromeda and Perseus ran into the playroom to play with Andromeda's toys. Andromeda had one of those little playset things in her playroom, too, so the two of them played house while the parents finished their dinner.

Finally, Polydectes and Acrisius walked into the room.

"All right," said Acrisius, "the fun and games are over!"

"No!" the two screamed.

"We were playing house," Perseus snarled. "Andromeda's gonna have a baby!"

"Who wants to hear a story about a magical unicorn?" said Polydectes.

"Uncle P, your stories suck."

"I know. I know. But I can tell you about the time I got plastered and slept on the couch."

"How about we play a game," said Acrisius. "Who wants to play hide-and-seek?"

"We do," said Andromeda.

"I'll count first," said Acrisius. He put his head in his hands and began to count.

Meanwhile, Polydectes told the kids about a super-secret spot where Acrisius couldn't find them. So he led them up to Andromeda's room, where he placed them both on Andromeda's bed. "He'll never find you in here," he smirked.

Now, here's the thing. Andromeda's door locked from the outside because Cepheus was tired of unlocking it when Andromeda and he were playing prison. So he switched the lock on her door only.

Polydectes smirked one final time before shutting the door and locking it. "Have fun in there, kiddos!" he cackled and ran down the stairs.

"Did you do it?" asked Acrisius, who was drawing in a coloring book.

"Uh-huh," said Polydectes. He and Acrisius high-fived each other. "We suck!"

Perseus and Andromeda banged on the door of the bedroom.

"Help!" screamed Andromeda.

"Wait," said Perseus, "Uncle P always does this to me. We have to sit quietly if we wants to get out of here."

"But I'm scared," said Andromeda. "I want my daddy." And she started to cry.

"Don't cry, Princess Andromeda," said Perseus. "Do you wants a hug?"

"Y-yes," said Andromeda.

So Perseus gave her a hug, which made her feel a bit better.

Meanwhile, Cepheus and Dictys ran into the playroom. "Where are the kids?" Dictys snapped.

"Oh, I locked them up in Andromeda's room," said Polydectes proudly. "Wow, I'm such a—"

"You're so many terrible things," said Dictys in a disgusted tone. "I want those two out of there right now!"

"Don't worry," said Cepheus. "The lock's on the outside so we don't have to use the key."

Cepheus and Dictys ran upstairs, where they found their kids sobbing on the floor of Andromeda's bedroom.

"C'mere, princess," cooed Cepheus. "It's okay, honey. Daddy's here now."

Dictys picked up Perseus and held him for a while until he finally calmed down. "C'mon, kids. Let's go downstairs and have some more cookies."

Cepheus carried Andromeda downstairs while they all had to listen to Cassiopeia yelling at Acrisius and Polydectes.

"You guys gots a sexy tree," said Perseus.

"Dude, don't call a tree _sexy_ ," Dictys said bluntly. "Trees aren't sexy. Where'd you hear that word?"

"Uncle P."

"Of course," said Dictys.

"Dick, I'm in trouble," Polydectes giggled.

A few blocks away, Hebe, Fructus, and Makaria were all playing school. Hebe was the teacher, and Fructus and Makaria were sitting on the floor in front of her.

"My name is Ms. Psyche, and I'm the bestest teacher ever!" squealed Hebe. "Fructus, for helping me out with the calendar this morning, you gets a gold star! Makaria, you don't get anything because I don't like you that much."

Makaria ran screaming for Persephone.

Persephone and the rest of the adults were in the living room, watching some dude fall off his motorcycle. Suddenly, they all saw Makaria come in.

Makaria ran to Persephone and began to cry. "Mommy, Hebe was playing Ms. Psyche and said she didn't like me that much."

"Where is she?" Zeus demanded. "Hebe! Get your youthful ass out here!"

Hebe ran out to her father, who started yelling his kingly voice box out at her. By the time he was done (like ten minutes later), Hebe was shaking in the corner of the room.

Well, that was kinda weird and very random. Let's move along.

Back at Andromeda's house, Perseus and Andromeda were listening to a kid's CD with a bunch of preschool songs on it. They were currently listening to "The Friendship Song", and were singing (uh…screaming) it so loudly that Acrisius and Polydectes ran into the room and turned off the CD.

"You suck, guys," snapped Perseus.

Uncle P sighed. "But, kiddo, you two can't sing and the CD is terrible."

"Your breath smells like beer," said Andromeda. "And you're really fat."

"You're, like, two-and-a-half feet shorter than I am," snapped Polydectes. "And I'm not fat. I'm a handsome, muscular, kind-hearted dude."

"Why's there a stain on your pants?" demanded Andromeda. "Did you have an accident?"

"Yeah," said Polydectes. "I might've…yeah…"

"Oh, gross!" squeaked the two kids.

"You guys wanna play Spin the Bottle?" asked Acrisius.

"No. We're this many," said Perseus, holding up three fingers. "I don't even know what that game is."

"You spin the bottle and it lands on a person and you have to kiss 'em," said Acrisius. "What time is it?"

Polydectes looked at this random clock that happened to be on one of the tables. "Nine-fifty," he said. "Well…let's go drink some more!"

After they left, Perseus and Andromeda decided to put on a little show for their parents. So Andromeda ran into the living room with the CD player. "Everyone, we want to sing for you tonight!"

"No, I don't like when you sing," Cassiopeia whined.

"I had a dream last night about Ms. Danaë stabbing you," said Andromeda, "and then she became my new mommy."

Danaë, who was taking a sip of wine, spat it back into her glass.

"This song is called 'The Friendship Song'," said Perseus, "and I like it." So everyone listened to them sing the song about friendship and being social and stuff like that.

After the song, Polydectes and Cassiopeia rolled their eyes. Acrisius just sat there (he didn't know his grandson could sort of sing). Danaë, Dictys, and Cepheus clapped politely.

"What do we do after we sing?" asked Danaë. "You take a…"

"Bow!" said Andromeda. And she and Perseus bowed.

"Do another one," said Dictys. "What about that one about the moon?"

Ms. Psyche had given everyone copies of this CD as a present, and Danaë had played the moon song constantly over the past week for Perseus. She knew what number the song "Let's Go to the Moon" was, so she switched the track to three, and the kids sang once again.

"You two need more alcohol if we're going to listen to more terrible songs?" Cassiopeia asked.

"Yeah," said Polydectes, and Acrisius nodded.

After "Let's Go to the Moon", the kids sang three more songs: "This Beautiful Rainbow", "Meet My Family", and "Typhon, Typhon, Go Away". The CD also had classic preschool songs on it.

Andromeda and Perseus sang the last one softly.

" _Typhon, Typhon, go away,_

 _Come again another day._

 _All the gods just want to play._

 _Typhon, Typhon, go away_!"

"Yay," said Danaë. "Good job, kids!" And the three nice adults clapped.

"And for the big finale," said Cepheus, "let's sing 'Jingle Bells'."

"Oh, Uncle P taught me that one," said Perseus.

" _Jingle bells, Dictys smells,_

 _Perseus is a bore._

 _Andromeda thinks that her mother stinks,_

 _And Danaë's a—_ "

"Kiddo, stop singing that song," Polydectes said angrily. "That's our secret song, remember?"

"Well, Mr. C said I could sing it," snapped Perseus. "You wanna hear the other secret song?"

"No!" Polydectes yelled, downing his wine quickly.

" _A, B, C, D, E, F, G,_

 _Gummy bears are chasing me!_

 _One is red and one is blue,_

 _One is brown and smells like poo._

 _No I'm running for my life,_

' _Cause the green one has a knife_."

"Kiddo, you should just stop right there," said Uncle P. "What time is it?"

"Ten-thirty," said Dictys bitterly.

"Daddy, I'm sleepy now," said Andromeda.

"Me, too," said Perseus.

"You two wanna go in the playroom and watch a movie?" asked Cepheus.

Andromeda smiled shyly at her father.

"Okay." Cepheus took them by the hand and led them into the playroom, where he put on a quiet movie.

Meanwhile, Theseus was throwing a fit because Aethra wouldn't let him have any cookies until he took his medicine.

"Honey, just take the medicine and you can wash it down with a cookie," Aethra promised, pouring out the dosage of the medicine and handing it to Theseus.

Theseus shook his head, stuck out his tongue, and turned away.

"No cookies," said Aegeus.

Theseus pinched his nose, swallowed the medicine, pulled a face, and ate his cookie quickly.

"Good boy," said Aethra happily. She handed Theseus an M&M cookie and he ran off into Jason's playroom with his other friends.

"Why you gots to take medicine?" asked Phaethon.

"Because I have a problem," said Theseus. "It stops me from being hyper."

"When I'm hyper, I run around and play," said Phaethon. "And Daddy takes me to the park and pushes me on the swings."

"Yeah, but I'm really hyper all the time," said Theseus. "My mommy says it's called ADHD or something like that."

"Wow," said Bellerophon. "That's okay. We're all different."

"Yeah, I guess we are," said Jason. "Like I don't have a mommy, but you guys do."

"Um…I have to tell you guys something," said Jason. "I saw my dad naked in the shower once."

"So? Mommy gives me baths every night and she knows what I look like," Phaethon snapped.

"PHAETHON! C'MERE AND FINISH YOUR FRUIT!" Clymene screamed from the kitchen.

"Make me," Phaethon said quietly.

But Clymene heard him. She ran into the playroom, threw her son over her shoulder, and stomped out to the kitchen table. "You will eat those grapes or we're going home, young man," she ordered firmly.

Phaethon smiled sheepishly and began to eat his grapes.

And now, we travel back to Andromeda's house and whatnot.

Everyone was kind of doing their own thing. Perseus and Andromeda—who'd gotten sugar highs from the pop—were happily bouncing on the couch in the playroom. Polydectes and Acrisius were drinking vodka and watching as the kids played. And they were a bit tipsy now, so they were saying some pretty weird stuff, too.

"I had a dream last night that I killed Dictys with a thumbtack and married Danaë," Polydectes giggled. Yes, he was a happy drunk. "Wh-what did you dream?"

Acrisius burped.

"Ew," squealed Andromeda. "You're gross! What do you say?"

"I farted," said Acrisius bitterly. Acrisius was a crying drunk. "I had a dream last night that I saw my mommy and she gave me lots and lots of hugs," he sobbed on Polydectes' shoulder.

Polydectes giggled. "Don't…worry, Perseus. I'm your mommy now. C'mere and give me hugs and kisses!"

"My mommy's a girl," snapped Acrisius. "Are _you_ a girl?"

"Yes," said Polydectes.

Andromeda looked on from her mini playset thingy. "Uh…Perseus?"

"What's up?" Perseus stuck his head out from beneath the slide.

"Are they like this a lot?"

"Well, I've never met Grandpa A before, but Uncle P gets weird when he drinks grown-up drinks."

"Mommy said that even when I'm a big girl, she won't let me drink," Andromeda said. "But I guess that's okay."

"Hey, kiddos," said Dictys, coming into the playroom. "Cool, you've got a playset thingy! Anyway, it's time to do the countdown!"

Everyone ran outside in the living room, where the TV people were doing the New Year's countdown. Uncle P and Grandpa A were passed out on the living room couch, both of them drooling on the pillows. Cassiopeia didn't seem to mind too much, though.

"Five," everyone shouted, "four, three, two, one, HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

After more drinking, partying, and Helios and Aegeus doing drinking games in front of their children at Jason's house, it was time for everyone to go home.

Demeter, Triptolemus, and Fructus—who was asleep on Trip's lap—headed home first. Hades was _much_ too drunk to walk in a straight line—as was Persephone—so he, Persephone, and Makaria stayed the night at Zeus' palace. Hebe was already sleeping and Makaria was getting close to it.

Ares and Aphrodite were both way plastered, so they were upstairs puking their guts out. Psyche, Eros, and Hedone left shortly after everyone rang in the New Year.

"Who wants some more cookies?" asked Cassiopeia as she was cleaning out the fridge.

"Me," Polydectes giggled as he stumbled to the fridge. "Can I have two?"

"Take the whole box," said Cassiopeia, shoving the box into Uncle P's arms. "Eat up. I don't want leftovers."

Perseus and Andromeda were both snoozing on the floor next to Danaë's feet. Dictys and Cepheus were discussing whether or not to sleep over at the house or if they should split.

"Why don't you guys just sleep over?" said Cepheus.

"Okay," said Danaë. "Where are we sleeping?"

"Well, they can have Andromeda's room. You two have the guest room," said Cepheus, picking up his daughter. "Princess, it's bedtime."

Andromeda put her arms sleepily around Cepheus' neck and he carried her upstairs.

"Daddy, I don't gots jammies," said Perseus. "And I don't have Fishy either."

"Dude, you don't need jammies," said Dictys, carrying his son upstairs, too. "You just sleep in your regular clothes and we'll get you some clean clothes tomorrow."

Perseus shrugged. "Where's Uncle P sleeping?"

"No," snapped Cassiopeia as Polydectes reached for the bottle of vodka. "No more for you, mister. I don't wanna be cleaning up puke."

"I can puke in the potty like a big boy," said Polydectes proudly, and he giggled and burped a few times.

"Go into the playroom and lie down," said Cassiopeia. "And take Acrisius with you."

 **Phew! All done! And the next chapter shall be about maybe a snow day or Valentine's Day!**


	14. Chapter 13: Career Day

**Okay, so since I couldn't decide whether to do Valentine's Day or a snow day next, I decided to go with Career Day. I've never had the opportunity to do a career day in school, so if I get some stuff wrong, sorry!**

 **These will be divided into mini-stories. New characters! Oh, should I keep Cassiopeia evil or do you guys want her to be nice for once?**

 **Please read the stuff at the bottom, too, because I didn't wanna put all this weight on your shoulders right away!**

 **CHAPTER 13**

It was freezing cold outside and the kids were stuck inside with their teachers.

Today was Monday and all the kids looked incredibly reluctant to start school, even though this was the second week back since break.

"Good morning, class," said Ms. Psyche.

"Good morning, Ms. Psyche," the class said in a monotone.

"I have some exciting news for you!" Ms. Psyche said, putting her attendance sheet down and looking at her class. "Whose parents here go to work?"

All of the kids raised their hands.

"Does everyone know what they do?" asked Ms. Danaë.

"My daddy works as a builder," said Jason. "So he builds stuff all day."

"That's nice," said Ms. Psyche. "Who else? Makaria?"

"Daddy works with dead people and Mommy works with flowers," said Makaria quickly.

"Well, I'm sure all of your parents love their jobs," said Ms. Psyche. "So that's why on Friday, there won't be any school. We want you to go to work with your parents for Career Day!"

"YAY!" the class cheered.

"Excellent! Can you all do me a favor, though? I need your parents to sign this permission form so that we know where you're going," said Ms. Psyche.

Ms. Danaë handed out the permission forms to the students. "Why don't all of you put them into your cubbies? When you go home, you can tell Mommy and Daddy about it."

When dismissal time came, everyone was talking about Career Day with their parents.

"Daddy, can I go with you?" asked Theseus.

Aegeus was a very successful lawyer, and he had to think about this one. Theseus was a good kid at heart, but Aegeus didn't know if Theseus would be up to such a long day of sitting and listening to a bunch of arguing.

"Let's ask Mommy," said Aegeus. (Aethra was a stay-at-home mom.)

When they got home, Theseus showed the permission form to his mother. "Can I go, Mommy?"

"Sure, sweetheart. But that means when you're with Daddy, you need to behave yourself," Aethra said firmly.

"Okay," Theseus vowed. "I promise."

Meanwhile, Bellerophon was riding his pretend horse around the living room while Glaucus and Eurynome looked at the permission slip.

"I guess he could come see stuff at the observatory with me," said Glaucus. "Bellerophon, if you come with me to the observatory, will you break stuff?"

"No," said Bellerophon."

"Okay. He's good to go."

So that Friday, all the students woke up and got ready to go to work with their parents.

 **APHRODITE'S SALON AND SPA**

"Andromeda, you better hurry up and eat your eggs," Cassiopeia said. "We're going to be late."

"Mommy, eggs give me a tummy ache," said Andromeda.

Cepheus was sitting at the table reading the paper and trying to ignore the argument.

"Then eat your waffle," snapped Cassiopeia.

"You guys know that creep who lives down the street from us?" said Cepheus. "He won his case last night and now he's filthy rich!"

"Aegeus won?" asked Cassiopeia.

"Yep," said Cepheus. "I'm glad Andromeda likes Perseus and not Theseus. That kid's always causing trouble."

Andromeda took a few bites of her small waffle before pushing her plate away. "All done. Time to work."

"Go upstairs and get ready," said Cassiopeia. "We're running behind now."

"Cassiopeia, calm down," Cepheus said, throwing his paper on the table. "You'll be fine. C'mon, Dromie. Let's go pick out a pretty dress."

Cepheus was used to helping Andromeda get ready in the mornings because Cassiopeia was a selfish bitch and only cared about herself. So he always asked Andromeda what she wanted to wear that day. Andromeda had a rule, though: to wear dresses on nice days and to wear play clothes to preschool.

Andromeda and Cepheus headed into Andromeda's room. Cepheus went to her closet and pulled out a pretty dress. "Arms up, princess," he said.

Andromeda lifted her arms and Cepheus put the dress over her body. Then he helped her brush her teeth and get her hair done. By the time Cepheus put a beautiful, white bow in her hair, Cassiopeia was knocking on the door to the bathroom.

"Ready?" she barked.

"Yes, Mommy," said Andromeda.

Cassiopeia put Andromeda into the car seat and strapped her in. Then she pulled out of the garage and sped down the street.

"Mommy, can we sing a song together?" asked Andromeda.

"Later," Cassiopeia said. "We're almost there."

They'd just pulled into the parking lot when Cassiopeia rounded on her daughter. "Now, listen, Andromeda," she snarled. "If I hear a snotty comment from you at all today, I'll have to punish you by not letting you eat till tomorrow."

"I wanna go to work with Daddy," Andromeda huffed.

"Shut. Up," snapped Cassiopeia. "Dammit, I'm late!" She pulled Andromeda out of the car and ran into Aphrodite's Salon and Spa.

"You're late," said Aphrodite, giggling behind the counter. "Oh, that's right! It's Career Day!"

"Hi," said Cassiopeia. "You remember Andromeda, right?"

"Oh, who dressed you?" asked Aphrodite. "Did Mommy do that?"

"No. Mommy doesn't like putting me in clothes, so Daddy does it." Andromeda gave Aphrodite a pretty smile.

"Cassiopeia, she's adorable," said Aphrodite, pinching Andromeda's cheeks.

"She can be when she's not annoying me," said Cassiopeia. "Who's first today?"

"Oh. My daughter-in-law, Psyche," said Aphrodite. She gestured to Psyche, who was sitting in the waiting area, flipping through a magazine.

"Who's after her?" asked Cassiopeia.

"Danaë," said Aphrodite. "And then you have Aethra and Clymene."

"And then?" Cassiopeia asked, bracing herself.

"Then you have a lunch break," said Aphrodite. "Then this dude named Phineas would like to dye his hair blond."

"Why can't he do that?" snapped Cassiopeia.

"Because he likes being pampered to death," Aphrodite snapped. "Plus he gives us money."

Cassiopeia sighed and glanced at Psyche. "You ready, Psycho?"

"Psyche," Psyche said patiently.

"Hi, Ms. Psyche," Andromeda squealed.

"Hi, Andromeda," said Psyche, bending down to give Andromeda a hug. "Are you going to be a big helper for Mommy?"

"Yep," giggled Andromeda. "I wanna make everyone look like a princess!"

"Stop with the princess stuff," snapped Cassiopeia. "Psyche, sit down in the chair and lean your head all the way back until it's in the sink."

Psyche sat down in the chair and Cassiopeia put an apron on her. Psyche leaned back until her head was in the sink. Cassiopeia turned on the water and began washing her hair.

"Ms. Psyche," said Andromeda, "where's Hedone?"

"Hedone's with Mr. Eros," said Psyche. "She's helping him with some family therapy stuff today."

"We gots family problems," said Andromeda boldly. "Maybe we could see Mr. Eros."

"Don't be stupid," snapped Cassiopeia, turning the water off. "We don't have family problems."

"Yeah we do!" screamed Andromeda. "All you do is yell at me!"

Good thing Psyche brought a book with her.

"Ms. Psyche, tell Mommy that we _do_ have family problems," said Andromeda.

"Do you want a night in the garage?"

"No."

"Then shush."

The bell rang over the door and they heard Aphrodite's squealy voice. "Hi, Danaë," said Aphrodite. "Is Perseus doing Career Day with Dictys today?"

"Yep," said Danaë.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" asked Aphrodite.

"Uh…water would be awesome," said Danaë.

Aphrodite gave her a glass of water and asked her to sit while Cassiopeia finished Psyche's hair. Psyche had gotten blond highlights that day and Cassiopeia was almost done putting all sorts of tin foil in Psyche's hair.

"Okay, we're done for now," said Cassiopeia. "Have a seat in the waiting area and I'll check on you in a while."

Psyche nodded and headed for the waiting area.

"Ms. Danaë!" Andromeda laughed, running towards her other teacher. "I'm helping Mommy today."

"Are you doing a good job?" asked Danaë.

"Yes," said Andromeda.

"Excellent," said Danaë, giving her a thumbs-up.

"Andromeda," said Cassiopeia, "I need to get Aethra started. Could you wash Ms. Danaë's hair for me?"

"I'm three, Mommy," Andromeda replied.

"Ugh, fine." Cassiopeia washed Danaë's hair really fast before going over to Aethra and doing the same thing.

Danaë and Andromeda stared at the crazy Cassiopeia for a while before Andromeda broke the ice. "Ms. Danaë, your hair is so pretty when it's wet."

"Thanks, hon."

"Where did Perseus go today?" Andromeda questioned.

"He went with Mr. Dictys to the fish store," Danaë replied.

"Oh." Andromeda didn't really know what people bought at the fish store, but it sounded pretty boring to her. "How 'bout you, Ms. Aethra?"

"Theseus went to court with Mr. Aegeus," Aethra replied as Cassiopeia was doing her hair.

"That sounds cool," said Andromeda.

Aphrodite walked over to Andromeda. "Would you like me to do your nails?"

"Oh boy! Mommy, can she do my nails?"

Cassiopeia nodded.

"Yay! I gets to look like a pretty princess!"

While Andromeda was getting pampered, Cassiopeia was enjoying the quiet because she found her own kid annoying. Seriously? If she doesn't like her daughter, then why did she have a kid in the first place?

Before Cassiopeia knew it, it was time for lunch. She'd forgotten to pack something for Andromeda, so now she was screwed. _Maybe she'll forget_ , she thought.

"Mommy! Lookit me! I'm a pretty princess!" Andromeda yelled. "Ms. Aphrodite's really good at painting nails and stuff!" Andromeda ran to Cassiopeia, showing off her pink nail polish.

"Well, they look nice," said Cassiopeia.

Andromeda's belly rumbled. "Uh…is it lunchtime yet?"

"Um…hmm," said Cassiopeia. "Maybe it is. But I forgot to pack something for you."

Andromeda started to sob. "You're so mean!"

Cassiopeia took out her phone and called Cepheus. "Yeah, hi. Andromeda's being very naughty today. Please come get her and take her home."

"Seriously?" snapped Cepheus. "I'm at the bar, where I bartend and stuff!"

"Uh-huh," said Cassiopeia.

Cepheus arrived a few minutes later. "Princess, were you being a bad girl?"

"No," sobbed Andromeda. "Mommy didn't maked me a lunch today, Daddy."

Cepheus picked up his daughter and took her home, where _he_ fed her.

Meanwhile, Phineas walked into the salon. "Cassiopeia!" he smiled at her. "How's Cepheus doing?"

"Your brother's fine," said Cassiopeia. "We're having a bit of an issue today with your niece Andromeda."

"That sucks," said Phineas. "I've come for my hair appointment."

"Yeah," said Aphrodite. "Cassiopeia's ready."

Meanwhile, Andromeda was having a nice day with Cepheus. They played princess castle for a bit before they played Write Mean Notes to Mommy on the Family Whiteboard and Erase Them Before She Comes Home.

"Okay, baby girl," said Cepheus after he wrote MOMMY'S A BITCH all over the whiteboard. "Let's get you ready for naptime."

Andromeda, who'd had a long and hard day today, decided not to argue (she was prone to arguing when she was napping at home). So she took her father's hand and walked with him up the stairs, where she fell asleep.

 **I SEE THE MOON!**

Bellerophon was going to work today with Glaucus, who was a successful astronomer, along with Helios.

"So Helios and Phaethon will be there, too," said Glaucus. "So try not to break anything, okay?"

"Daddy, what if I accidentally do something?" asked Bellerophon.

"Then we have a problem, dude," said Glaucus. "C'mon. Let's get you strapped in."

While they were driving to work, they sang songs about the sun, because those were the only space songs Glaucus could think of.

"Hey, guys!" Helios said, pulling Phaethon out of the car. Phaethon looked a little green, but he swallowed a few times and his color returned to normal. "Let's go inside!"

The observatory was big… _really_ big. Bellerophon and Phaethon practically never shut their mouths as their parents took them to the office part.

"Okay, Phaethon," said Helios. "Play with that model of the sun while I do something on the computer."

"You gonna look at naked girls again?" asked Phaethon.

"No," snapped Helios. "And if you tell that to Mommy, I won't be your friend anymore. Now sit down and be quiet."

Phaethon looked at all the stuff around Helios' office. There were walls of pictures that looked like bouncy balls floating in the sky. Then he saw a picture of Mommy and Daddy holding him as a baby.

"Daddy," said Bellerophon from the next cubical, "is this the sun?"

"No, kiddo. That's Jupiter. It's the biggest planet."

"What's a planet?"

"Helios, you done with the picture?" called Glaucus. "These kids are acting bored."

"Yep. Just finished," Helios replied cheerfully. He emailed the picture to Glaucus and took Phaethon's hand. "Boys, you guys wanna see something totally awesome?"

"Sure," said the boys.

"Okay!"

Helios and Glaucus led the two boys to the biggest telescope in the world…ever! Helios pressed a few buttons and the telescope went into focus. Glaucus lifted Bellerophon up to the eyepiece and asked him what he saw.

"I see a big bouncy ball floating there," said Bellerophon.

"Do you know what that is?" asked Glaucus.

"No," said Bellerophon.

"That's the moon," said Helios.

"Cool!" Bellerophon yelled with delight.

"Is it made of cheese?" asked Phaethon.

"No," said Bellerophon, "but it gots lots of holes in it."

"But cheese gots holes, too," said Phaethon.

"IT'S NOT CHEESE!" yelled Bellerophon.

"Time for lunch," said Glaucus. "C'mon, boys. On Fridays, the special in the cafeteria is pizza with fries and cupcakes."

" **LET'S GO, MAGGOTS!"**

Ares walked into the gym, holding his sons' hands. "Now, listen, punks," snapped Ares, "this is the crap-hole where I work. If you don't do nothing right, I'll kick your asses! _**UNDERSTOOD?!**_ "

"Wow, it _must_ be bad if it's bold and leaning to the side," said Phobos.

"Yeah," said Deimos. "Yeah, Dad, we get it."

"Good. Our first class is a swimming class. So go get your suits on."

Once Ares, Phobos, and Deimos all got their swim gear on, Ares clapped his hands as a bunch of random children sat on the bleachers. "SHUT UP! I'm am Mr. Ares, your swim coach! Your parents all signed forms that say you suck at swimming, so I'm a-gonna teach ya how to do it!" Ares grabbed the paper with all their names on it. "Let's see…Allison? Are you present?"

"Yes, Mr. Ares."

"How about Bobby?"

"Yes, Mr. Ares."

Once Ares got through all the kids' names, he told them all to go jump in the deep end and try to tread water.

"Wow," said Ares, "you guys _really_ suck! Billy Bob Joe Bob! That's not the correct form. Float on your back and float there till I say you can stop! And the rest of you, do that thing I just told you to do!"

And so all the kids grabbed their kickboards and did the Love Goddess stroke. It wasn't really a stroke; they sort of just floated there with their kickboards and blew kisses to one another.

"This next one is called Sex," said Ares. "You have to float with the kickboard and yell SEX if you see a nice-looking person in the pool."

Phobos and Deimos demonstrated and all the kids got the hang of it, so they tried it, too.

After swimming, Ares taught track. "RUN, DAMMIT!" he screamed at Billy Bob Joe Bob, who was in this class, too. "I haven't got all day! Let's go, maggot!"

"Mr. Ares, my asthma's acting up!" Billy Bob Joe Bob wheezed.

"That's a lame excuse for being a maggot," Ares snapped. He blew his whistle in the kid's ear. "LET'S GO, MAGGOT!"

"Mr. Ares," the head coach, Miss Shelly, said. "Are those your kids on the wall?"

"Yeah. I told 'em to make themselves useful and get some upper-arm strength."

"And you didn't put them into a harness first?"

"Nope," snapped Ares.

"Mr. Ares, I'm afraid you're not following the rules," Miss Shelly said.

"Rules are meant to be broken, sweetie," snarled Ares.

FARMING IN WINTER

Triptolemus and Fructus were riding towards this field in the middle of nowhere where Trip worked in the fall while he harvested crops.

"Daddy, can we do something fun?" asked Fructus.

"This _is_ fun," said Trip angrily. "I do this for a living, kid. And you'd better pay attention, because when I fade, I expect you to follow in my footsteps."

"Daddy, it's winter outside. So things don't grow," said Fructus.

"Good point. Good point." Trip put his hands in his pockets. "Well, I guess we'll go back home and stare at each other the entire day."

"Can we play a game?"

"No. We're going to go inside and help Mommy bake stuff."

Well, that was a rather boring career day. Moving on!

 **LET'S TRY SOME DRINKS!**

So Zeus is the king. And when you're the king, that's pretty much your job and your life and everything. Now, Zeus loved being king, but Hera decided that since she had a job, Zeus should get a job, too. So Zeus got a job as a bartender. So Hebe went with Zeus to the bar to see what life was like as a bartender.

"So, when we're at the bar," said Zeus, "you will stay behind the bar the entire time. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"

"Yeah, Daddy," Hebe smiled. "Am I cute? Mommy says I'm cute."

"Sure she does," snapped Zeus. By now, they had entered the bar, so Zeus placed Hebe behind the counter and looked at Cepheus, who also worked there. "This is my little shit, Hebe."

"Oh, she's adorable," said Cepheus.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Zeus said, waving his hand impatiently. "Where's _your_ daughter?"

"She's with Cassiopeia today…and I'm anxiously awaiting a call from Aphrodite."

"Why? You wanna have sex with her?" Zeus asked, pouring himself a beer.

"No," Cepheus snapped. "Andromeda and Cassiopeia have family issues, so they need to resolve them, and I don't think it was a good idea to bring her to the salon."

"If I can get away with bringing Hebe to the bar," said Zeus, smirking, "then Andromeda can survive the salon." He handed Hebe his beer. "Hebe, drink that. It'll get you drunk so I might actually find you entertaining for once."

Hebe took a cautious sip and gagged. The stuff was awful! "How can you drink this, Daddy?"

"Because I'm a big boy," said Zeus.

"Grandma Rhea doesn't think that. She always calls you _Zeusy_."

"She'd better stop that or I'm a-gonna kick her in her Titaness ass." Zeus cleared his throat. He turned to Cepheus. "So last night, Hera and I were making love…"

Hebe was looking at the other bottles that were underneath the bar. There were bottles of dark stuff in them, bottles with white stuff in them, and bottles with clear stuff in them. Hebe was pretty thirsty, so she reached for a bottle with clear stuff in it. She uncapped it and began to chug it.

Zeus, of course, wasn't paying attention until Cepheus looked at him like he was crazy.

"Didn't you like my story?" Zeus snapped at him.

"Yeah. Hebe's getting plastered."

"Oh. Hebe, keep going. Daddy's orders."

"Dude! That's booze!" Cepheus cried.

"What's a little vodka gonna do to her?" Zeus asked. "In fact, when Ares was a baby, I slipped some into his bottle and he loved it. But we're not gonna tell Hera that, right? Oh no…" Zeus said quietly. Psyche had just come into the bar for a drink.

"Hi, Zeus. Hi, Cepheus," said Psyche politely, grabbing a stool and sitting down. "Zeus, where's Hebe today?"

"Um…" Zeus tried to think of a good story. "She's…" But he couldn't think of one, so his response was, "She's behind the bar getting drunk on vodka. Happy Career Day!"

Psyche screamed. "You're…you're having Hebe ingest alcohol?"

"Yes, ma'am," Zeus said. "I told her she'd be more fun if she did that."

Psyche almost fell off the stool and ran behind the bar.

"Psyche, only cool people are allowed back here," said Zeus.

"Hebe! Stop drinking that!"

Hebe hiccupped and threw up all over her shirt. Meanwhile, Cepheus was just standing there, texting Hera (because everyone had each other's numbers).

The doorbell rang and Hera ran into the bar. "ZEUS!" she screamed at her husband. "I DON'T EVER WANT YOU GETTING HEBE DRUNK AGAIN! MOTHER RHEA WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" And she took Hebe home.

"Well, I could use a glass of wine after that," Zeus said nonchalantly. "Psyche—where'd she go?"

"She left," said Cepheus.

"Of course she did," said Zeus. "Ooh…Zeusy's in trouble when he gets home."

 **FAMILY THERAPY**

"Bye, you two," said Psyche, giving Hedone and Eros a hug and a few kisses. "I'm going to get my hair done."

"Bye," they replied as she headed for her car.

"Daddy," said Hedone, "are we going now?"

"Yeah, sweetheart. Let's blow this Popsicle stand!"

"Where are they?" Hedone's favorite treat was Popsicles.

"It's a saying, dear," said Eros. "Let's sing on the way there. Let's sing about…"

"Love!" said Hedone.

"Good choice!" Eros put in a CD containing a bunch of romantic songs, and he started humming "Dream a Little Dream". "Now, Hedone, when we get there, I want you to meet the secretary."

"Okay, Daddy," Hedone giggled happily as "The Trouble with Love" from _Love Actually_ came on.

When they got to the office, they stepped inside so Eros could check in. Eros headed up to the desk, where a beautiful lady was sitting, typing away on the computer.

"Hey," said the lady.

"Good morning," said Eros. "Anyone here yet?"

"Yes. Poseidon and Amphitrite are here. Your next appointment is with Hades."

"Okay. Hedone, this is Miss Harmonia," said Eros. "She helps me make appointments."

"Like Ms. Medusa helps Ms. Hecate?" asked Hedone.

"Exactly," said Eros.

"Hedone, would you like a heart-shaped cookie? I just baked them," said Harmonia.

"Yes, please," said Hedone.

Harmonia handed her a cookie that said LOVE on it.

"Hey, guys," said Eros. "Come on back. Help yourself to a cookie!"

"I hope this is quick," said Poseidon. "I kinda forgot to drop Triton off at school this morning."

"Poseidon," Amphitrite moaned. "You're an idiot."

"I know."

Eros led them into a large room and asked them to take a seat on the couch with he sat in an armchair. He took out a clipboard. "So, how's everything going since the last time we talked?"

"Great," said Poseidon. "We're not fighting as much anymore."

"Great. Awesome. So today we'll be working on listening to each other when we have a problem. Amphitrite, would you like to start?"

Amphitrite got a few things off her chest, as did Poseidon, but Hedone had lost all interest because she'd brought a coloring book with her, and Hedone couldn't resist the pretty colors!

"Well, great to see you again," said Eros, standing up and shaking their hands. "And you can make your next appointment with Harmonia when you walk out. Have a nice day!"

After Poseidon and Amphitrite left, Eros took Hades back. "So, Hades," he said. "From what I understand, Persephone told you that you're a bad father."

"Yeah," Hades said bitterly. "She never liked me."

"Why do you think you're a bad father?" Eros asked gently.

"Because I'm dark and gloomy and I never take Makaria out to the park," snapped Hades.

"Hades, remember our counting technique," Eros insisted calmly.

"Screw this! I could be plotting revenge on Demeter, Trippy, and Fruitcake! But _noooo_! I have to make appointments with you because everyone thinks I'm a depressing dude!" Hades started sobbing.

Eros handed him a box of tissues. "Let it out, Hades. This is good. This is good." Eros took out a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote out an address. "I'm going to refer you onto Asclepius, because I feel you have very serious depression. I also recommend going out in the sun more often."

"It's winter, stupid," snapped Hades, blowing his nose loudly.

"It sounds like a trumpet," giggled Hedone.

"Sir, no need for attitude today." Eros got up. "Well, thanks for coming back in."

"Eh," Hades grunted and headed back to the Underworld.

"'Kay, baby doll," Eros said. "Ready to go home?"

"Yep."

So after his shift, Eros took Hedone to McDonald's, where he bought her a Happy Meal.

 **JASON BUILDS A BOAT**

Jason woke up on Friday to Aeson standing next to his bed. "Kiddo, ready to build?"

"Yeah," Jason said, running into his closet to get ready.

Once Jason and Aeson were both dressed and ate breakfast, they headed off to Hephaestus' Hardware to get a few things.

"Hey, guys!"

Hephaestus came walking over to them, his leg braces clinking. "How can I help you today?"

"Hey, Heph. You remember Jason, right? Jason, this is Mr. Heph."

"Hi, Mr. Heph," said Jason, shaking his hand.

"Hey, kid," said Mr. Heph. "Are you having a nice day with Dad?"

"Yeah. We're gonna build a pretend boat," said Jason.

Mr. Heph laughed and led them around the store, where he handed them some wood and some nails and some other stuff.

"Mr. Heph, can I paint when I'm done?" asked Jason.

"That's your choice," said Mr. Heph.

"Cool! I'm gonna paint it gold!"

Aeson and Jason headed home, where Aeson quickly built a boat for Jason and put it into his playroom on top of a pile of newspapers. He handed Jason a paintbrush. "Have at it, kiddo."

Jason smeared paint all over the boat until his naptime. When it was naptime, Aeson took Jason upstairs to get ready for bed. Then Aeson came back downstairs to look at his son's work. It was actually pretty good. Aeson took a marker and wrote _ARGO_ on the side of the boat, as Jason had requested a while ago. _Now_ it was ready to play on!

 **NICO AND SONS**

"Makaria," said Hades as they headed into the morgue, "you can't run around in here, honey. There are dead bodies here and they'll jump out and scare the crap out of you."

"Like you?" asked Makaria.

"Yes. Like me," said Hades. "Good morning, Nico."

"Hey, Dad," Nico di Angelo said. "Dad? Makaria's too little."

"It's Career Day," said Hades, putting on some protective equipment. "Who's on the table here?"

"Oh, remember Mr. Winters? Well, he died of a heart attack yesterday and his wife found him on the floor, so she wants to have the funeral tomorrow. We gotta do the embalming thingy today, Dad."

Hades sighed. "Okay. Makaria, please stay here and don't touch anything. These are very dangerous—WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?"

Makaria ran over to a bottle of pink liquid. "But, Daddy, it's pink!"

"I don't care if it's got glitter," Hades said placidly. "You are not allowed to touch anything because these are for dead people and not living people."

Makaria shrugged and sat on a chair in the corner of the room.

"So," said Hades. "I'll need to insert this tube into the carotid artery. When I say so, you'll drain the blood." Hades stuck something into Mr. Winters' carotid artery. "Now!" he yelled at Nico, who switched something on and the blood began to drain.

Makaria was quite bored, so she ran off into the morgue. She passed a lot of rooms. Some had bodies in them, some had coffins in them, and then she came to the garage where she saw all the hearses. Suddenly, she remembered an old song that Hades used to sing to her called "The Worms Crawl In", and it freaked her out, so she left the garage and ran back to the room.

But on the way, she met up with Thanatos, the god of death. "Aren't you supposed to be with Daddy?" Thanatos asked in a kid-friendly voice.

"He's not interested in me now," said Makaria. "But I sawed all the bodies."

"Oh," Thanatos said. "Would you like to see more?"

"Sure!"

So Makaria took Thanatos' hand and he led her to a very cold room with a bunch of dead people on tables, covered in winding sheets.

"It's c-c-cold in h-h-here," Makaria stammered.

"Well, we have to keep the bodies cold," said Thanatos. "Now watch this!" He picked up a coffin from a nearby table, threw it into something that looked like a giant stove, and turned the machine on. Makaria kind of watched and smiled as the body began to get cremated.

"Cool…" she said.

"Do you want a job here when you're a big girl?" asked Thanatos in the same kid-friendly voice.

"Yeah!"

"Well, study hard in school and you can also be a mortician," said Thanatos. "And there's nothing really to see other than this stuff, so let's go back to your dad."

Hades was almost done embalming Mr. Winters when he saw Thanatos and Makaria standing in the doorway. "Where were _you_?" he demanded.

"She was bored, so I gave her a tour," said Thanatos.

"Excellent."

"She said she wants to work here, so I told her to study hard and she'll have herself a job."

"Excellent."

"Lord Hades, are you just saying _excellent_ because that's the only positive word you know?"

"Excellent!"

"Okay," said Thanatos.

Makaria had a great day at the morgue and couldn't wait to tell her mother about what she'd learned from Mr. Thanatos.

 **DICTYS' FISH FRY**

Dictys and Perseus were getting ready for work that day when Danaë walked into the room. "You mind if I stop by later, hon? I forgot I had to do some schoolwork."

"Of course, baby," said Dictys. "We'll see you over there in a while."

She smiled and looked down at her son. "Did you comb your hair?"

"Yes, Mommy," Perseus sighed.

"Good. I'll see you guys in a while. Have fun!"

Dictys and Perseus were singing "A Sailor Went to Sea" when Dictys pulled into the parking lot of Dictys' Fish Fry. "Okay, dude. Let's go inside!"

Perseus had never been into the store before, so he was amazed at how big it was. "Wow, Daddy…" he breathed. "This is awesome!"

"Glad you like it, kiddo," said Dictys.

"What's Mommy doing?" asked Perseus as he held Dictys' hand as they walked up the stairs.

"She's doing some school things today."

It turned out that Danaë _was_ doing school things that day, but she stopped as soon as the doorbell rang. She got up from the kitchen table and headed off to the door. And guess who was there? Why, it was Polydectes, of course!

When Danaë saw him, she flattened herself against the door so he wouldn't see her. Then there was a knock on the door.

"I know you're in there, Danaë," Polydectes' voice rang out. "Let me in!"

Danaë could feel tears welling in her eyes as she opened the door for the world's scariest jackass.

"Hey, sweetheart," Polydectes sneered. "Where's Dick?"

"At the fish store," snapped Danaë.

"Oh." Polydectes looked around the house. "Well…you got any beer?"

"No. Dictys drank it all," snapped Danaë.

"You on your period?" Polydectes demanded.

"No. Why?"

"You're bitchy today. Here's the deal. I wanna play with Perseus today—"

"Good freaking luck," said Danaë.

"But I see he is gone with Dick at the store," snarled Polydectes. "So…you wanna come to my house for a few drinks?"

"No," said Danaë.

"I'll leave right now and I won't spy on you for a month if you kiss me right now," Polydectes promised.

The doorbell rang again and Polydectes opened it. "Hey, Acrisius. Can I have your daughter?"

"Dude, she's married," said Acrisius. "Hey, princess. Can I borrow a pen and a piece of paper? I'm doing a winter scavenger hunt through the neighborhood and I was told I had to come here to get stuff from you."

"Both of you need to get out," snapped Danaë.

"C'mon, Danaë," said Polydectes.

"Does it have to be on the lips?" asked Danaë.

"No. It can be on the cheek or on the hand…but I would prefer the lips," said Polydectes.

"Ugh. Fine," Danaë said, and she kissed Polydectes on the cheek. "Get out."

"I've lived," Polydectes said.

Danaë looked on after him, then glared at her father. "Get out, Daddy."

"Princess, I want a pen and a piece of paper."

Danaë threw a pen and some paper at him.

"Oh, and you realize that Polydectes will still spy on you," said Acrisius. "He's a liar."

Back at the fish store, Dictys was showing Perseus all the cool stuff to see. Perseus' favorite part was the fish tank.

Suddenly, Dictys' phone rang. "Hi, Danaë! How's—oh, my gods! Are you serious?"

"Daddy? Is Mommy okay?" asked Perseus.

"Well, come on down here and I'll protect you," said Dictys. He hung up and slipped his phone into his pocket. "Uncle P came over a forced Mommy to kiss him."

"Ew!" Perseus thought he would throw up. "I'll save her!"

"Buddy, she's gonna help us today," Dictys said.

The bell rang as someone walked in…and it was Uncle P. "Perseus! Let's go for a walk around the store!"

"Can't you read?" asked Dictys. "The sign on the door says NO PEOPLE NAMED POLYDECTES ARE ALLOWED IN HERE!"

"There's no sign on the door. It just says OPEN."

Dictys wrote quickly on a piece of paper and stuck it on the door. " _Now_ it says that!" he yelled. "OUT!"

"Kiddo, do you wanna stay here with Dick or should I take you out to lunch?" asked Uncle P.

Perseus loved his father, but he also liked food. But just before he was about to make the toughest decision in his life, Danaë walked in. "Perseus, Mommy thinks we need to get some lunch." And she grabbed Perseus' hand and led him out of the store.

"Why didn't she just eat here?" snapped Uncle P. "There's a restaurant upstairs."

"It's closed for now," said Dictys. "We had some bad fish and we don't want anyone to get sick from it."

 _ **APOLLO V. ASCLEPIUS**_

Theseus and Aegeus headed into the courthouse to do Aegeus' next case: _Apollo v. Asclepius_. Theseus was preoccupied with a few of his toys he got for Christmas.

"Order! Order!" yelled Themis, the judge and Titaness of law. "Let us introduce everyone! I am Themis, goddess of law and order. Our defendant is Asclepius, god of medicine, whose lawyer is Aegeus. The plaintiff is Apollo, god of stuff, whose lawyer is Dike, goddess of justice—Apollo, please stop making out with her! We are in a public place!"

"Sometimes I can't help it!" Apollo yelled.

"Today's case is being held because—apparently—Asclepius borrowed Apollo's stethoscope for a procedure but never returned it."

"Seriously?" snapped Theseus. "You guys are fighting because he took your doctor stuff?"

"Theseus, please," said Aegeus. "Play with your truck or something."

"Daddy, this is stupid. Dr. 'Scleepus should just give the thingy back to Dr. Apollo!"

"I guess that makes sense," said Themis. "Okay. Asclepius shall return the stethoscope to Apollo, and Apollo will stop making out with every damn woman he meets. This case is cleared of all charges!"

Aegeus and Theseus were heading home when Aegeus got mad at his son. "Theseus, what did I tell you before we went this morning?"

"No interrupting the case."

"And what did you do?"

"I interrupted the case."

"Was that a nice thing to do?"

"No."

"Okay. Go to your room and think about your actions."

Well, Theseus' career day could've gone better. He was sitting on his bed, clutching his M&M pillow and wishing his father had a job where he could visit him and yell all he wanted.

There was a knock on the door and Aethra walked in. "Honey, Daddy's sorry he yelled at you."

"Yeah, right, Mommy," Theseus said bitterly.

"He is, dear," said Aethra. "He didn't realize you were trying to help. He went back to work. Look what Mommy made for dessert tonight."

"I LOVE M&M cookies!" Theseus yelled as his mother held one out to him. "YAY!"

"Now you can have one, but only if you eat your carrots at lunchtime," said Aethra. "And for lunch, we're having yummy hot dogs."

"I love you, Mommy," Theseus said, giving his mother a hug.

"I love you, too, Theseus," said Aethra. "Let's go eat some hot dogs."

Theseus and Aethra walked downstairs, where Aethra gave Theseus a plate of chopped-up hot dogs, some potato chips, a few carrots, some grapes, and an M&M cookie for dessert. Theseus wolfed down his lunch and his cookie. "I'm full, Mommy," he said, rubbing his belly.

"Well, it looks like you ate everything," said Aethra. "Now it's naptime. Oh, and I almost forgot." She handed him the medicine cup. "Here's your meds, hon."

Theseus pinched his nose and drained the cup. He licked his lips, took a few more sips of water, then headed upstairs to bed. Aethra followed him.

"Mommy, can you read me the candy book?" asked Theseus.

"Sure," said Aethra, going over to his bookshelf. As usual, Theseus fell asleep halfway through the book.

 **MONDAY MORNING**

"Did everyone have a nice weekend?" asked Ms. Psyche as she took attendance.

"Yep," said the class.

"Excellent. So in a few weeks, we have a very special day coming up. Does anyone want to tell the class what it is?"

Hebe raised her hand. "It's Valentime's Day!"

"I think it's _Valentine's_ Day, Hebe. But good job anyway! So Ms. Danaë is going to teach us how to make heart folders so we can give out candy to our classmates."

The class cheered because everyone liked candy.

"But she won't teach us until a few days before," said Ms. Psyche quickly. "In the meantime, let's all make something for our parents for taking us to work with them."

So all the kids got crayons, paper, and glue, and headed to the tables to start their work. Ms. Danaë occupied one table while Ms. Psyche took charge of the other.

"Ms. Danaë, can I have some help, please?" asked Andromeda.

"Sure, honey," said Ms. Danaë. "What're we making today?"

"I'm making something for my mommy," said Andromeda. "Can you just put I HATE YOU in the middle of the paper?"

"Do you wanna say something nice?" asked Ms. Danaë.

"No."

"Well, here. I'll write Mommy a little note and send it home with you tonight. How about you make something for Daddy?"

"Okay!" And Andromeda began to draw on her piece of paper.

Meanwhile, Ms. Danaë quickly ran over to Ms. Psyche and mentioned what she'd say in the note. Ms. Psyche suggested that they write the note together, so that's what they were going to do during naptime.

"What are _you_ making?" asked Perseus.

"I'm drawing something for my daddy," said Andromeda. "You?"

"I'm drawing a fish for Daddy," said Perseus. "Daddy likes fishies."

"Theseus," said Phaethon, "I think we're supposed to draw something for our parents, not draw a dude on the potty."

"But one time I saw Daddy do that, and that's what I made him," said Theseus bluntly. "What're you drawing?"

"I'm drawing a sun," said Phaethon.

After lunch, everyone headed for their cots and placed them in around the room. This afternoon, Theseus was the first one to fall asleep while the rest of his playmates tossed and turned for a bit.

Meanwhile, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë wrote a note to Andromeda's parents, which went something like this:

 _Dear Cepheus and Cassiopeia:_

 _It has come to our attention that your daughter Andromeda is quite frightened of her mother. This is extremely abnormal behavior, and we would like it to be resolved. It is important for children to connect with their parents through play and at mealtimes. Therefore, we suggest that Andromeda has a mother-daughter day with Cassiopeia. Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns regarding this suggestion, and we will provide feedback._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë,_

Preschool Teachers at Ms. Hecate's Academy

 _P.S. (to Cassiopeia) – We'll need to report the way you act to your daughter if we don't see improvement by the month of April_.

 **Ooh…to be continued…**

 **STORY UPDATE! I have decided to continue this story into their kindergarten year…maybe their first-grade year, depends on how kindergarten goes. But I was thinking one night about some more characters (like Orpheus, Eurydice, and I'll bring Hercules back, too). For the present, I shall be doing a Cassiopeia/Andromeda day, Valentine's Day, and some other fun things. Couldn't you just see Theseus doing some crazy pranks on April Fool's Day? That would be funny!**

 **AU REVOIR,**

 **ICY :)**


	15. Chapter 14: Valentime's Day!

**No, the title isn't wrong. That's how little kids say it: VALENTIME'S DAY!**

 **CHAPTER 14**

"What is _this_?!"

Cassiopeia had just read the note that Ms. Danaë and Ms. Psyche had written about Andromeda's mother-phobia.

"Honey, at least they said it in a nice way," said Cepheus.

"You think it's true they'll come after me if I don't change my behavior?" asked Cassiopeia.

"Maybe," said Cepheus. "But I totally agree that you and Andromeda need to have a day to yourselves. You guys need to find common ground and you need to be able to understand each other."

"Daddy? I eated all my grapes like a big girl," said Andromeda.

"Good job, Dromie. Now you can have a cookie!" And Cepheus handed her a chocolate-chip cookie.

"Daddy, what're you drinking?" asked Andromeda.

Cepheus took a drink of this medicinal crap and pulled a face.

"Is it yucky medicine?" asked Andromeda.

"It _is_ yucky medicine," said Cepheus. "Tomorrow, Daddy has to go to the hospital to get a camera up his butt."

"Are they gonna make a movie about your butt?" asked Andromeda.

"Yep," said Cepheus, taking another swig of the medicine. "Ugh…that's nasty! Well, off to the bathroom!"

Cassiopeia looked at her daughter, who was getting chocolate all over her little face. "Andromeda, do you really think I'm mean to you?"

"Yes," she admitted sheepishly.

"Why?" Cassiopeia asked gently.

"Well, because you never wanna play with me," said Andromeda. "I don't like that very much, Mommy."

"Well, I'm sorry I've been so mean to you," said Cassiopeia, though whether she actually meant that or not was a mystery to Andromeda. "You know what? While Daddy's getting his butt looked at tomorrow, you and I can do something fun. Uncle Phineas will be taking him tomorrow morning for his procedure, and Daddy's staying at his house until dinnertime. What should we do?"

"I wanna play princess castle," said Andromeda. "Then I wanna play house."

Then the phone rang, so Cassiopeia ran to get it. "Hello? Hi, Ms. Danaë. We're having a Mommy-Andromeda day tomorrow. Of course, I'm sure she'd love to! Okay, great. See you tomorrow at nine!" She hung up. "Dromie, we're going to Perseus' house to play."

"Does that mean Ms. Danaë's gonna yell at you?" asked Andromeda.

"No," snapped Cassiopeia.

That night, Andromeda asked Cepheus more about his colonoscopy.

"Does it hurt?" asked Andromeda.

"I don't know," said Cepheus. "But Dr. Asclepius will give me a special night-night medicine so I won't remember what happens."

"Do you have to get a shot?" asked Andromeda.

"Yeah," said Cepheus as he rubbed her back. (Andromeda was lying on the couch with him).

"I don't like shots. They pinch too much," said Andromeda.

"I know, princess. I don't think _anyone_ likes shots."

"Daddy, when you get home, can we play together?" asked Andromeda.

"We'll see, Dromie," said Cepheus. "Daddy doesn't know how well he'll be feeling tomorrow night. What're you guys up to tomorrow?"

"I'm going to play at Perseus' house," said Andromeda as everyone headed to the table for dinner. "He says he's got lots of fish with names!"

"That sounds fun, dear," said Cepheus. He was sipping on some broth while Cassiopeia and Andromeda ate chicken and mashed potatoes.

"Daddy, do you have a cold?" asked Andromeda. "If you're drinking that stuff that means you gots a cold."

"No," said Cepheus. "When you have what I'm having tomorrow, you have to stay away from certain stuff."

"Andromeda, it's getting late," said Cassiopeia. "Let's go upstairs and get you ready for bedtime."

"Cassiopeia, you should get her ready for bed," said Cepheus, clutching his stomach once again.

"Okay."

Cassiopeia headed upstairs to the bathroom, where Andromeda sat on the counter and stared at her mother. "What's up?" asked Cassiopeia.

"Well, see," said Andromeda, "I can't brush my teeth like a big girl yet. So Daddy does it for me."

Cassiopeia was used to brushing her own teeth and she never before helped Andromeda with her own. But seeing as Cepheus was probably crapping himself to death in the bathroom, Cassiopeia decided it was a good idea to help her daughter.

Cassiopeia grabbed Andromeda's pink princess toothbrush and the bubblegum-flavored toothpaste. She squirted some onto the toothbrush and looked at her daughter. "How does Daddy do this?"

"He tells me to open my mouth," said Andromeda.

"So open your mouth," said Cassiopeia.

After that weird ordeal, Cassiopeia put Andromeda in her pink footy pajamas. "Goodnight, Andromeda," she said.

"Night, Mommy. I love you," said Andromeda.

Cassiopeia gave her a kiss. "Love you, too," she said.

The next morning, Andromeda was woken up by the doorbell ringing, then to the sound of her mother running to get the door.

"Phineas! Come in!" she said.

Andromeda ran down the stairs and saw Uncle Phineas standing there.

"Andromeda! How are you, honey?" Uncle Phineas asked.

"I'm good," Andromeda said. "We're having a playdate at Perseus' house today."

"Well, have fun with that," Phineas replied. He kissed her on the head. "Where's Daddy?"

"Here," said Cepheus. "This better be worth it."

"Don't worry," Phineas said, "I brought lots of books in case I have to wait forever."

"Great," said Cassiopeia. "Have fun."

"Bye, Daddy. You'll live!" said Andromeda.

Once Uncle Phineas and Cepheus left, Andromeda and Cassiopeia got ready to go to Perseus' house for the playdate.

When they arrived at Perseus' house, Cassiopeia rang the doorbell.

Perseus came to the door. "Hi, guys!" he said, his face turning bright-red. "Some dude went in Daddy's fish store yesterday and broke some stuff, so now he has to wait for Mr. Aeson to fix it."

"Would that someone be Uncle P?" asked Cassiopeia.

"No. Uncle P's a jerk, but he doesn't break stuff. Bellerophon does that."

"Hi, guys!"

Danaë came down the stairs, her hair wet from her shower that morning. "Well, today, I thought we could go see a funny movie or we could stay here and play."

"Let's stay here and play," said Andromeda.

"Okay!" said Danaë. "Why don't we all play Duck, Duck, Goose!"

So everyone went into Perseus' playroom and sat in a circle on the floor. Andromeda got to go first. And, as usual, she took a million rounds just to say "Goose!" When she tapped on Cassiopeia's head, Cassiopeia chased her giggling daughter around the circle before Andromeda finally slid into her mother's vacant spot. And Cassiopeia continued the game.

After that, Danaë put on _Finding Nemo_ for the kids, and she and Cassiopeia sat on the couch and had a long conversation about something unimportant. Perseus and Andromeda continued to watch the movie.

When that one part came with Bruce the Shark, Andromeda flipped out so Perseus told her to sit on his lap and he'd protect her.

"When's Valentine's Day?" asked Cassiopeia.

"Next week," said Danaë. "Why don't we go to the store and you two can figure out what kind of candies and cards you want to get everybody."

"Okay," said the kids.

"Mommy, can we get some lunch?" asked Perseus. "I'm starving!"

"But, honey, you just had breakfast," Danaë said.

"I know that," said Perseus. "I meant after shopping."

"Okay," said Danaë.

The four of them piled into Danaë's car and drove off to Olympus General Store.

They were about to get a cart when an almighty shriek interrupted them.

"Fructus!" someone yelled. "I said Wheaties, not Apple Jacks! Those are loaded with sugars!"

Perseus and Andromeda turned the corner to see Fructus and Demeter in—you guessed it—the cereal aisle. Fructus threw the boxes of cereal he was holding down and stomped his feet, rolled on the floor, and screamed pretty much every agricultural word he knew in a long, run-on sentence like the one you just read!

Demeter—whose face was a deep shade of red so it was almost purple—picked up her son and placed him into the baby seat of the cart. Then she strapped him into the seat so he couldn't try to escape.

"Kids, come back here," said Danaë.

"But we sawed Fructus throwing a fit," said Andromeda.

"Let's go see the candy aisle," said Cassiopeia.

Perseus and Andromeda watched as Fructus threw an even bigger fit as Demeter walked out of the cereal aisle.

"Guys," said Cassiopeia, "c'mon."

So they all went to the candy aisle, where they saw—believe it or not—Theseus and Aethra getting candy, too.

"I want this one and this one…" Theseus said, "and this one…ooh! And I want those!"

"What did I just tell you?" Aethra said. "Just two, honey."

Before Theseus could argue with his mother, Danaë cleared her throat and walked over to Aethra.

"Theseus," said Aethra, "guess who's here?"

"Ms. Danaë!" Theseus yelled, hugging his teacher's legs. "And everyone else!" He ran to them and hugged them all, too.

"Well, that's funny that we're seeing each other here," said Aethra. "He was just telling me about what kinds of things you guys were doing in preschool this week."

"Andromeda said that you were in Greece for a week," said Cassiopeia.

"Huh?" Aethra asked. "Oh, I'm going next week with Clymene and Eurynome. We're all going skiing."

"That sounds fun," said Danaë. "Well, after these two pick out stuff for their valentines, you guys should come to lunch with us."

"Where're you going?" asked Aethra.

"We're not sure yet," said Danaë.

"Sure," said Aethra. "They can all sit together and the three of us can hang out."

So the mothers bought the Valentine's Day stuff and headed back to the parking lot, where they saw Demeter calmly putting Fructus in the car. When Demeter got into the front seat, the other six heard her—clear as a bell—screaming her head off at the fruits god.

"Unbelievable!" she screamed. "Wait till I tell your father about this, Fructus!"

Anyway, Theseus and Aethra were waiting on a bench inside of the restaurant they were all eating lunch at.

"Welcome to Munchies!" said a pudgy woman behind the counter. She looked freaking bored. "How many today?"

"Six," said Cassiopeia.

"Okay," the woman sighed. "Kids menus today?"

"Three," said Aethra.

"Okay," the woman sighed again. "Follow me."

"Is that Nemesis?" asked Aethra.

"Yes," said Cassiopeia.

"She pregnant?"

"I suppose she is," said Danaë.

"Miss Nemesis?" asked Theseus. "Do you have a baby in your tummy?"

Nemesis began to cry. "Yes! I'm five months pregnant. Leave me alone!" And she ran off.

Danaë ran to the front of the restaurant, got some crayons and three kids menus, and headed over to a large table that was set for six. She distributed the menus to each of the kids and placed the crayons on the table.

"Well, that was less than welcoming," Cassiopeia said bitterly. "I was _never_ that unpleasant when I was pregnant with Andromeda."

Danaë and Aethra looked at each other, then at their menus. Cassiopeia didn't see them; she was looking at her own menu.

"Theseus, stop eating the crayons, honey," said Aethra.

"But red's my favorite color," said Theseus.

"What should we eat for lunch today?" asked Cassiopeia, trying to redirect everyone from Theseus to the menu.

"Mommy, what's that?" asked Perseus.

Theseus coughed violently.

"He okay?" asked Danaë.

Aethra picked her son up and put him in her lap. "Yeah. He had a really bad sore throat last night and he started coughing this morning. So he's feeling a bit under the weather today."

Theseus coughed some more and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

Everyone ordered their drinks first. Their waiter, who was a dude named Percy, took their order.

"My name's Perseus," said Perseus. "Our names sound the same. Mommy says we're similar."

"Uh…okay," said Percy. "I had to find a job because my mom says I've been playing too many video games and not getting enough social interaction." He shrugged. "How old are you?"

"I'm this many," said Perseus, holding up three fingers. "I'll be four really soon, though. You can come to my birthday party if you want."

"Thanks," Percy said. He looked at Perseus' friends. "These your friends, too?"

"Yeah. This is Theseus and he's got a problem called ADHD, but don't worry. He takes drugs for it."

"I also have ADHD," said Percy. "But I don't take drugs for it. I burn all my energy by fighting in battle."

"And this is Andromeda," said Perseus. "She likes to pretend she's a princess sometimes."

"Cool," said Percy. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Mommy, can I have some pop?" asked Andromeda.

"Are you sure you don't want chocolate milk?" asked Cassiopeia.

"Yes!" yelled the three kids. "Chocolate milk!"

"And what would the lovely ladies like?" Percy asked in a voice that wasn't meant to be flirtatious but was anyway.

Perseus tugged on Percy's apron. "Dude, they're all married."

"Well, _dude_ ," Percy hissed at him, "I realized they're too old for my liking."

"Mommy, he called you old," said Andromeda. "Throw him in the royal dungeon."

"Three Cokes, please," Aethra said quickly.

"Okay," said Percy, writing it down on his notepad. "And are you six ready to order or can I go back to IMing my girlfriend in the kitchen?"

"We'll be a bit," said Danaë.

"Do you really work?" asked Theseus as he wiped his nose on his sleeve again.

"Well, when I _should_ be working," Percy explained in a kid-friendly voice for the preschoolers, "I go into the back of the restaurant by the dump and I IM my girlfriend Annabeth."

"Johnson!" someone yelled. "Quit being social! Gimme my order!"

"Okay, Mr. D, sir," said Percy. And he ran off to the kitchen.

"Kids, what would you all like for lunch?" asked Aethra.

"Mommy, can I have some eggs again?" asked Theseus.

"I gave him some eggs for his throat this morning," said Aethra. "Honey, maybe they have mac-and-cheese. Here, look at the pictures on your menu."

Perseus and Andromeda were coloring Hermes the Hamburger on their own menus.

Percy came back with everyone's drinks. He placed the kids' drinks in front of them, handed the mothers theirs, and asked what they all wanted for lunch.

"Mommy, can I have a hot dog?" asked Perseus.

"Of course you can," said Danaë.

"Mommy, can I have some mac-and-cheese?" asked Andromeda.

"Yes," said Cassiopeia.

"Theseus, c'mere, honey," said Aethra. She picked up her sick son, who started coughing violently again. "Percy, dear, he'll have the chicken-noodle soup."

"Okay," said Percy, writing the orders down. "And what would you lovely ladies like?"

"Let's see…" said Danaë, "I'll take the steak."

"I'll have the ribs," said Cassiopeia.

"And I'll have the chicken," said Aethra.

"Perfect." Percy ran off again.

"Theseus, do you want to take some cough medicine?" asked Aethra.

"No," said Theseus, and he started crying.

"But the medicine will make you feel better," said Danaë.

"It makes my tummy feel icky," Theseus cried.

"Well, if it's that bad," said Aethra, "maybe we'll go see Dr. Asclepius."

Theseus shrugged and sat back down in his seat, where he began to color in Fortuna the French Fry.

Perseus and Andromeda were playing One Word Story when they saw Theseus wipe his nose for the millionth time on his sleeve.

"Dude, you should go home and take a nap," said Perseus. "'Cause Daddy said that sleep is the best medicine when you're sick."

"But I wanna play," said Theseus bitterly.

Percy came back with their food. "Enjoy your meal," he said. He pulled out a drachma. "Time to talk to Annabeth!" He laughed hysterically, ran into the kitchen, and made a rainbow.

"So I'm trying to figure out what we should do today," said Cassiopeia.

"Well, what does Andromeda like?" asked Danaë.

"Well, she likes princesses, glitter, and anything pink," said Cassiopeia.

"So play princess castle with her," said Aethra. "How's the soup, Theseus?"

"Good," Theseus said, but he'd hardly eaten any of it.

"I think we'll head out," said Aethra. As Percy was walking by, Aethra asked him for their portion of the check and a couple of boxes.

"Sure," said Percy, and headed off to the front of the restaurant.

Cassiopeia's phone rang. "Hello?" she said. "Hi, Phineas. How's he doing? Oh, okay. Yeah, we'll see you guys tomorrow morning. Okay, bye."

"How's he doing?" asked Danaë.

"Well, he's done with the procedure, but I don't want Andromeda to see him high off of medicine, so Phineas suggested keeping him the night at his house and bringing him home tomorrow."

"I see," said Danaë.

Aethra put her food into a box and poured Theseus' soup into a to-go cup. "Well, it was great having lunch with you guys," she said.

"Oh, anytime," said Danaë. "Glad we could do this."

Cassiopeia smiled and nodded. "Hopefully Theseus will feel better soon."

"Yeah. I think I'll take him to the doctor," said Aethra. "Say bye to your friends, Theseus."

"Bye, guys," Theseus said. He stood next to his mother as they walked out of Munchies.

Just then, a dude walked into the restaurant.

"Daddy!" Perseus squeaked, running over to Dictys.

"Hey, guys!" said Dictys. "Did you guys already—oh, yeah. You already ordered."

"Have a seat, Dictys," said Cassiopeia. "We're still finishing up."

Dictys quickly ordered something and headed over towards Danaë, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. Then he went to Perseus and gave him a hug, too.

"Did Aethra and Theseus just get here?" asked Dictys.

"No. Theseus isn't feeling well," said Cassiopeia. "So I guess Aethra's taking him to the doctor."

"Mommy," said Andromeda, "is Daddy okay?"

"Yeah, sweetie. Daddy's okay. He's going to stay at Uncle P's house till tomorrow because Dr. Asclepius wants him to get better before he sees us."

Perseus spat out a fry. "Uncle P sucks."

Danaë glanced at her son. "Honey, Andromeda has an Uncle P, too. And—from what I hear—he's much nicer than _your_ Uncle P."

After lunch, everyone decided to go back to Andromeda's house for playtime. Dictys had to meet Aeson at the fish store, so the four of them had a nice day of doing crafts.

"Do you kids wanna play dress-up?" asked Cassiopeia.

"Yes!" Andromeda said happily. "I wants to be the princess!"

"I wants to be the hero," said Perseus.

"Do you guys want to play hospital?" asked Danaë.

"Oh, Andromeda," said Cassiopeia, "you love playing hospital."

"Okay. But I wanna be a sick princess!"

So they set up the living room to look like a hospital. They all agreed that Perseus and Andromeda were now married and Andromeda was expecting a set of twins.

"Ms. Danaë should be the doctor," said Andromeda. "Mommy can be the nurse."

So here's what happened: Perseus and Andromeda sat in the playroom until Cassiopeia led them into the living room. Danaë asked Andromeda what was wrong, and Andromeda responded with, "I'm havin' some babies!"

"Nurse Cassiopeia," said Danaë, "we need to get the babies out."

But before Cassiopeia could respond with something, the phone rang, so she ran to get it.

"This got boring," said Perseus. "Let's play something else."

"Okay," said Andromeda. "Like what?"

"Like…" said Perseus, "…let's play marriage!"

"Andromeda," said Cassiopeia, "that was Uncle Phineas. Daddy's still at the hospital. Do you wanna go see him?"

"Yeah!" said Andromeda, and Perseus got all sad 'cause they didn't play marriage.

When they got to the hospital, Hygiea (the nurse) led them back to Cepheus' room. Cepheus was lying on a bunch of pillows and cords were coming out of him, but he looked pretty good.

"Daddy!" Andromeda squealed, running to Cepheus.

"Hey, babe," said Cepheus, whose speech was slightly slurred.

"Mr. C, are you wasted?" asked Perseus.

"Don't say that, hon," said Danaë.

"I just asked him a question," said Perseus.

"They gave him some sleepy medicine and it's wearing off now," said Danaë.

"Daddy, did they make a video of your butt?" asked Andromeda.

Cepheus looked at Phineas, who was sitting in an armchair reading a book. "I…I don't know, queenie."

"I'm not a queen, Daddy," Andromeda said. "I'm your little princess, 'member?"

Danaë and Cassiopeia looked at each other. "I think we'll head home before stuff gets out of control," said Danaë. "Plus he needs his nap and I know how he gets when he doesn't get it."

"I see," said Cassiopeia. "Well, that was a fun playdate, huh, Dromie?"

"Yeah," said Andromeda. "See you guys on Monday!"

"Bye, sweetheart," said Danaë, and she led Perseus back to the car.

A few days later, it was Valentine's Day. Theseus had been out of school with a bad cold the past few days, and it was his first day back.

"Good morning, everyone," said Ms. Psyche. "What day is it today?"

Hedone raised her hand. "It's Valentime's Day!"

"I think it's _Valentine's_ Day, dear," said Ms. Psyche, "with an N sound. But yes, it is Valentine's Day. Did everyone bring their candy and cards today?"

"Yes!" screamed the class.

"Perfect!" Ms. Psyche yelled happily. "So here's how it's going to work. You're all going to go around and put one candy and one card into everyone's folders. If you need help reading someone's name, just let us know!"

A few parents came in to help out, too: Aethra, Clymene, Demeter, and Eurynome.

Jason ran up to Aethra and asked her to help him. "Ms. Aethra, can you help me read this name?"

Aeson had nice handwriting, so Aethra could easily make out the name PHAETHON on the card. "This says Phaethon," Aethra told Jason. "So let's go see where Phaethon's folder is."

"Ms. Danaë," said Andromeda, "can we eat the candies yet?"

"Not yet, Andromeda. We'll eat them later."

Once everyone—including the teachers—handed out their valentines, all the parents were invited to stay for lunch. Ms. Hecate got really creative and made everything valentines-themed. She made heart-shaped mac-and-cheese (the noodles were heart-shaped), the apple slices were on heart-shaped plates, and the cookies with pink icing said I LOVE U on them.

"Let's thank our mommies for coming in today!" said Ms. Hecate, and everyone clapped as the mothers headed for the door.

"Mommy!" called Theseus. He ran to Aethra. "Mommy, I feel icky inside."

"Honey, I'll pick you up after school and we'll take some medicine when we get home," said Aethra.

"Okay, everyone," said Ms. Danaë. "It's one, which means it's—"

"Naptime," said Fructus.

"Good job, Fructus," said Ms. Danaë.

"See? That's that preschool education paying off," Demeter said happily.

Once all the kids got on their cots, they all headed to their spots in the room. Bellerophon and Phaethon were, like, best buddies, so they headed to a spot near the windows. Theseus, as usual, couldn't find where he was supposed to go, so he ran up to Ms. Psyche. "Where do I sleep again?"

Ms. Psyche smiled and held up a sign. "What animal is this, Theseus?"

"A bunny," said Theseus.

"That's right. It _is_ a bunny," said Ms. Psyche. "Now when I put this bunny over here, that means that's where you'll sleep. It'll be your special corner." She put the bunny picture by the windows where Jason was sleeping.

Theseus smiled at his teacher, grabbed his blanket, and put his head down on the pillow of the cot. Ms. Psyche smiled at her class, then she went to go turn the lights off.

 **Yay! Next up: St. Patrick's Day!**


	16. Chapter 15: Phaethon's Birthday

**So I looked at a website and I don't remember what it's called. Either way, I own nothing. The website was talking about what preschool-aged children can do chores-wise.**

 **CHAPTER 15**

Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë decided that the kids were old enough to start helping out around the house. So one day, they told the parents of the preschoolers about some chores they can do around the house.

Aethra and Aegeus had already decided that Theseus was clean his room whenever it got messy, so Ms. Psyche wrote that down in Theseus' notes.

It was a beautiful morning (and it was also St. Patrick's Day), and Bellerophon was eating breakfast at the table. Glaucus was already at work and Eurynome was talking to her son while he ate some waffles.

"Honey," said Eurynome, "you get to help out around the house for a bit today."

"What do I gotta do?" Bellerophon asked eagerly.

"Well, it looks like Cinnamon's getting hungry," said Eurynome. "How about you give him some food?"

Bellerophon wiped his mouth on his sleeve, ran to the pantry, and got out the dog food. He poured it into Cinnamon's bowl and tried to give it to the puppy, but Cinnamon just wasn't interested in it…so he barked angrily at Bellerophon and under the table in the dining room.

"Mommy, make him eat his breakfast," said Bellerophon.

"Cinnamon," Eurynome sang, "c'mere!"

Cinnamon barked and put his hands over his nose.

"Maybe he'll be hungry later," said Eurynome. "Let's go get dressed."

Today was Phaethon's birthday (his parents were lucky that their kid was born on St. Patrick's Day), so Helios and Clymene were hiding presents around the house. Phaethon was allowed to open one present that morning (a new set of toy trucks), so when Phaethon got home, he'd be allowed to open the other ones.

"Have a good day," said Helios as he dropped his son off with two trays of cupcakes.

"Bye," said Phaethon, hugging his father around the leg.

"Well, look who's here," said Ms. Danaë. "I believe it's Phaethon the Birthday Boy! And for being the Birthday Boy, you get to wear the Birthday Boy Hat!" She put a party hat on Phaethon's head and gave him a few birthday hugs.

"Ms. Psyche," called Theseus from where he was standing on the carpet, "Ms. Psyche! I dided my chores last night! My room had clothes all over the place, so I pickeded them up like a big boy!"

"That's what your mommy said," said Ms. Psyche happily. "Well done, Theseus! Give yourself a sticker for being such a big boy last night!"

Once everyone sat down on the carpet, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë said it was Phaethon's birthday and that he'd brought cupcakes, but they'd have to wait until dessert for lunchtime that day. Meanwhile, they sang "Happy Birthday" to Phaethon (who didn't know he wasn't supposed to sing, so he ended up singing to himself). Then they did a few crafts involving birthdays and shamrocks. And then it was time to go play outside.

"Class," said Ms. Psyche, "we're going to go into the deep, dark woods to see if we can find any shamrocks. Who wants to be with me and who wants to be with Ms. Danaë?"

When each teacher had six kids, they all split up and started their little adventure.

Ms. Psyche led her group down the path until they came to a little park. They saw another goddess sitting there, reading a book.

"Hi, Ms. Leto!" called Ms. Psyche. "Kids, this is Ms. Leto and she'll be one of your teachers next year."

"Oh, it's so nice to meet you kids," said Leto. "I thought we had more for next year."

"Ms. Danaë took the other kids somewhere else," said Ms. Psyche.

"Well, I actually just came here to read," said Leto. "What're you guys up to this morning?"

Bellerophon raised his hand. "We're hunting down shamrocks," he said happily.

"Well, _that_ sounds fun," said Leto.

"Ms. Leto," said Phaethon excitedly, "it's my birthday today!"

"Well, happy birthday," said Ms. Leto. "And how old are you?"

Phaethon held up four fingers. "I'm this many."

"You're a big boy," Leto remarked, smiling at her future student.

"Well, I think we'll be off now," said Ms. Psyche. "We'll see you later, Ms. Leto!"

"You suck!" someone yelled. Ms. Psyche turned abruptly. Fructus was standing on the sidewalk, glaring at Hebe.

"Fructus, is that a nice thing to say?" Ms. Psyche asked patiently.

Fructus shook his blond head. "No," he said.

"Okay. Please say you're sorry to Hebe."

"Sorry, Hebe," Fructus grumbled to his girlfriend.

"S'okay," said Hebe blankly, giving Fructus a hug.

"Ms. Psyche," said Phaethon, "um…I'm kinda cold out here."

"Well, let's go back to preschool," said Ms. Psyche.

While Ms. Psyche was taking her kids back to school, Ms. Danaë was leading everyone deeper into the deep, dark woods.

"Ms. Danaë, I don't see any shamrockses," said Jason.

"Well, maybe we'll head back to school, too," said Ms. Danaë.

"What're you guys doing after school today?" asked Andromeda as she walked between Theseus and Perseus.

"Mommy's taking me shopping for a new bed," said Theseus. "She doesn't want me sleeping in the one I got now."

"What's wrong with it?" asked Makaria.

"Well, I keep bumping my head on the bottom of it," said Theseus. "Me and Daddy like to play hide-and-seek in my room sometimes…and I usually hide under the bed."

"Where's the store?" asked Perseus as he held Andromeda's hand.

Theseus scratched his head. "Crusty's Slightly-Used Waterbeds," he finally said slowly.

"I've always wanted a waterbed," said Andromeda.

When everyone got back to preschool, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë gave the kids their food. Then, for dessert, they passed around Phaethon's cupcakes. And they were awesome!

"Everyone, it's naptime," said Ms. Psyche. "So head over and see Ms. Danaë for your cots. And if you'd like a blanket today, just let us know."

As the kids were sleeping, Fructus walked over to Ms. Psyche. "My belly hurts."

"Do you need to throw up?" asked Ms. Psyche.

Fructus' face turned pink. "I haven't pooped in four days."

"Oh, gods," said Ms. Danaë. "Well—" But she was interrupted by the alarm on Ms. Psyche's phone, telling the teachers to wake the kids up from their nap.

Shortly after that, parents started showing up. Aethra, who was usually in the midst of the pickup chaos, grabbed Theseus first and drove off to Crusty's store.

"Now, Theseus, remember what I told you," Aethra said as she pulled into the parking lot. "You're not supposed to jump on the waterbeds because they'll spring a leak."

"But it's fun," Theseus whined.

"No," Aethra said firmly.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" said a voice. The proprietor of the shop came out of a darkened room. "My name is Procrustes, and it sounds like you're looking for a waterbed, kiddo."

"Actually," said Aethra, taking out a grocery list and flipping it over, "we're looking for a bed without any poles on it for him. He's always hurting himself on the one now."

Procrustes sucked in his breath. "Yeah, don't you have a rule about running in the house?"

"We've decided that Theseus could run in his room," said Aethra.

"Okay." Procrustes scratched his ugly-ass bald head. "Well, follow me towards the back. I just got some new beds!"

Aethra and Theseus followed Procrustes back to the back room, where Theseus immediately saw a bed shaped like a candy bar. "Ooh, Mommy!" he squeaked, pulling on Aethra's skirt. "I wants that one, please!"

After Aethra spent an unnecessary amount of time looking at more beds, she finally gave in to Theseus' request to the candy bar bed.

"You wanna buy it now or later?" asked Procrustes. "If you buy it now, you'll receive a year's supply of M&Ms. If you buy it later, you won't receive the supply, _and_ I get to stretch everyone in your family to death."

"We'll take it now," said Aethra, taking out the family credit card. "And how much is this bed—Theseus, quit running! You've had all day to run at school!"

"Ms. Psyche said no running in the classroom," Theseus replied.

"And the same rule applies to wherever we go," said Aethra angrily.

"Great," said Procrustes, "when would be the best time to deliver the bed?"

"ASAP," said Aethra. "Aegeus doesn't work on Saturdays—"

"Then I'll give it to you then," Procrustes decided.

Once Aethra gave Procrustes their address, she headed out the door of the shop with Theseus bouncing along beside her.

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

"What should we eat for dinner?" asked Aethra.

"Can we have chicken?"

"We had chicken last night. How about some fish sticks?"

"Yucky. I hate fish sticks."

"How about you can have chicken and Daddy and I can go out and have fish sticks?"

Theseus grinned. "Okay."

Aethra sighed because now she knew she needed to find a babysitter…and fast!

As soon as they got home, Aethra gave Theseus a banana and told him to eat it. Then she ran to her phone and called up everyone she knew to see if someone would be okay watching Theseus.

First she called Clymene, who said she'd be happy to _if_ it wasn't Phaethon's birthday. Eurynome wouldn't do it because she was busy punishing Bellerophon for something.

Finally, Aethra turned to Aeson. And guess what? He couldn't do it either.

"Mommy, I'm done!"

Theseus ran into the dining room with banana all over his face.

"Okay. Go outside and swing or something."

So Theseus ran outside and ran all around his playset before Aegeus got home from lawyer stuff.

"Hi," he said, giving Aethra a kiss and playing airplane with Theseus.

"Daddy, you're going to dinner with Mommy said she can't find me a babysitter. So I gets to stay home," Theseus said.

Aegeus stared at Aethra like she was crazy. He could only imagine them leaving Theseus alone by himself for a couple of hours. Would there even be a house when they came home from dinner?

"Not cool, Aethra," snapped Aegeus. "Not cool. We have to get him a babysitter."

"I've called everyone," said Aethra, "and no one could do it."

"By _everyone_ ," said Aegeus, "do you mean, like, _three people_?"

"Uh-huh," said Aethra.

"What about Ms. Psyche?"

"Ms. Psyche hates me," said Theseus sadly. "But it's okay. I don't have a lot of friends in her class."

"Honey, Ms. Psyche doesn't hate you," said Aethra. "Why would you say that?"

"Because every time I look at her, she gives me mean looks and it makes me feel sad inside," Theseus said.

"Are you sure she's not looking at Phaethon or Fructus?" asked Aethra.

"Yes," said Theseus.

"What about Ms. Danaë?" asked Aegeus.

"She doesn't like me either," said Theseus.

"Well, let's try her," said Aethra.

The good news: Danaë said yes. The bad news: she and Dictys were actually going to the same place that Aethra and Aegeus were going. So the two families decided to bring their kids along…and somehow Uncle P got to tag along, too.

So they all headed to Munchies because all the other restaurants were terrible.

"Hi and welcome to Munchies," said the blond chick behind the counter. "My name's Annabeth and I'll be your server tonight. How many?"

"Seven," Danaë said.

"Excellent. Follow me, please."

Annabeth led them to a table in the middle of the restaurant, where they were in close proximity to the play area.

While the parents were distracted, Uncle P was reading the kids' menus to his nephew and his nephew's very-hyper friend. "Let's see…" said Uncle P, "they've got pop, milk, vodka—you guys wanna go play or something?"

"Uncle P," said Perseus, "if I stick this crayon up your nose, will you die?"

"No," said Uncle P. "Go play in the playroom."

"Okay," Perseus said. "C'mon, Theseus. Let's go in the ball pit!"

No one else was in the playroom, so Uncle P watched the two boys while they played.

"Hey," said Uncle P, "can I come in with you guys?"

"No," said Perseus. "No evil kings allowed, Poly-Idiot."

"That's a new one. I like it," Polydectes decided. "Who wants to try my drink?"

"Theseus! Perseus!"

Aegeus walked into the room. "What do you two want for dinner?"

"Chicken nuggets and fries," the boys replied in unison.

"Excellent." Aegeus walked back out of the room.

"Does Ms. Psyche like me?" Theseus asked Perseus.

"I don't know," Perseus said thoughtfully, picking up a blue ball and holding it out to Theseus. Theseus took it and threw it at Uncle P, which made Uncle P spit half of his beer all over his shirt.

"Do you need a bib?" asked Theseus. He and Perseus laughed.

"Bibs are for babies," snapped Uncle P.

"How about a sippy-cup?" asked Perseus.

"No," Uncle P scowled. "I'm a grown man who is in no need of such bull crap."

"What's bull crap?" asked Perseus.

"When a bull takes a crap," said Polydectes.

Perseus turned back to Theseus. "Why would you think Ms. Psyche hates you? My mommy's getting used to you."

"Because she gives me mean looks," said Theseus. "I don't gots lots of friends in class, dude."

Perseus gave Theseus a hug. "Don't worry, Theseus. I'll be your friend. Phaethon, Bellerophon, and Jason are nice to you, right?"

"Phaethon puncheded me last weekend and Bellerophon called me fat," said Theseus. (Of course, he didn't _look_ fat. He was very small.) "But Jason's okay."

"You know, even though Andromeda's my hot babe," said Perseus, "you can play with her, too."

"Thanks, Perseus," Theseus said, giving his friend a hug.

"Perseus!" yelled Uncle P. "Get your lazy uncle another beer!"

"If we ignore him, he'll shut up," said Perseus. So they ignored Uncle P, who got the message and went to get himself another beer.

Back at Phaethon's house, the family had gathered for dinner around the table. Since Phaethon was the birthday boy, he got to sit at the head of the table. Clymene had made his favorite meal: grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup and potato chips. For dessert, she had made Phaethon a small cake with a picture of the sun smiling on it.

Phaethon's aunts—Selene and Eos—were there as well. So Helios got to catch up on Titan gossip with his sisters.

"It's time to open presents, Phaethon," said Clymene happily. "This one's from Aunt Eos."

Phaethon took the box and gently shook it. "Sounds like clothes," he said sadly.

"Phaethon, that's not nice," said Helios firmly.

Phaethon opened the box and out fell a beautiful sweater.

Clymene and Selene looked at Eos. "Oh, Eos! You really know how to shop for him," said Selene, handing her present over to Phaethon.

Phaethon shook this one, too. "Sounds like books," he said sadly.

"That's not nice, Phaethon," snapped Helios.

Selene had gotten him a few kid's books on astronomy and the sun, which Phaethon loved compared to the sweater that Aunty Eos gave him.

A couple hours later, Phaethon was taking his bath and Helios was reading the book _Helios' Guide to the Planets_ to him as Clymene shampooed his hair.

After Phaethon had splashed his mother a dozen times and gotten the bathroom floor all wet, Clymene decided to get her son out of the tub and send him to bed earlier than usual (by, like, two minutes).

Meanwhile, Theseus was enjoying his last few days in his crappy, terrible bed. His new one would be coming on Saturday.

"Are you excited?" asked Aethra as she helped Theseus brush his teeth.

"Uh-huh," Theseus managed with a mouthful of toothpaste. He spat in the sink and took a drink of water. "Mommy, can I have my new friend Perseus over to play?"

"Of course you can have Perseus over to play," said Aethra, putting him in a pair of pajamas. She buttoned up the front and gave her son a kiss. "I love you, Theseus."

"I love you, too, Mommy," Theseus said, hugging her. Not long after that, he was asleep.


	17. Chapter 16: Graduation

**CHAPTER 16**

Theseus was very excited today! Why? Well, let's find out!

"Theseus! Your bed's here!" Aethra called, opening the door for Procrustes.

Procrustes pushed a large box into the foyer and helped Aegeus carry it up to Theseus' room. Then Procrustes walked back downstairs and handed Aethra a clipboard. "Okay, Mrs. Aethra," he said. "Please sign where the 'x' is and I'll be on my way."

Theseus ran into his room, where Aegeus was already in the process of putting his bed together.

"Daddy, can I help?" asked Theseus.

"Sure, buddy," said Aegeus. "You can hand me stuff. Hand me the screwdriver."

"Honey," said Aethra, "do you wanna have Perseus over to play?"

"What?" asked Aegeus.

"Not you. Theseus?"

"Yeah," said Theseus.

"Okay. I'll go call Danaë."

It turned out that Perseus could come over and play, so—since Aegeus was a badass at building stuff—Theseus got his new bed in a matter of a half-hour. He made it (with Aethra's help, of course), and picked up some of his toys that were lying on his floor. And by the time noon came around, Perseus was standing in front of the door.

"Mommy," Perseus was saying, "I hate Uncle P. I don't wants him at our house anymore."

"Honey, I told you," Danaë said firmly, "I can't do anything about him. He's Daddy's problem now."

"Hey," said Aethra, opening the door. "Come on in!"

Theseus ran out from the dining room. "Perseus!" he squealed, running to his new buddy. "Ms. Danaë!" He gave Danaë a hug, too.

"What are you up to today?" Aethra asked Danaë.

"Preparing for our weekly torture," said Danaë. "Polydectes is coming for dinner tonight and we hate him. Plus, he flirts with me constantly. So we're trying to get out of it."

"How about you three stay for dinner," said Aethra. "I'm making pork chops."

"Ooh," said Perseus.

"Yummy," said Perseus.

"We'd love to," said Danaë. "Let me run it by Dictys and I'll get back to you on that."

While Aethra, Danaë, and Aegeus talked about grown-up stuff for a very long while, Perseus and Theseus headed upstairs to play in Theseus' room.

Theseus got out a box of hero action figures and handed one to Perseus. "Uh…do you like action figures?"

"Not really. I like fishing, though."

"Let's play Truth or Dare," Theseus suggested. "Want to?"

"Okay," Perseus agreed happily. "I wanna do a dare first."

"Go downstairs and tell my mommy that Uncle P would like a sippy cup and a bib for his birthday."

Aegeus knocked on the door. "Hey, kids," he said, smiling down at them.

"Mr. Aegeus," said Perseus, raising his hand like he was in class, "since it's raining outside, can we do fun stuff inside today?"

"Sure. In fact, I was wondering if you two wanted to draw."

"No," said Theseus.

"How about you sing for us," said Aegeus.

"Lame," said Theseus.

"Okay, well…" Aegeus thought about it for a moment. "Hmm…I got nothing." And he awkwardly left the room.

When lunchtime rolled around, Aethra and Danaë helped the boys make their own personal pizzas and threw them in the oven to cook. While the pizzas were cooking, Theseus and Perseus ran laps around the large house, singing "Skip to My Lou."

Theseus and Perseus had an awesome playdate together. They colored, watched TV, and played pretend until it was time to head home.

"What're you guys doing in school next week?" asked Aethra.

"Well, we haven't decided what," said Danaë. "But next month, all of us—parents, too—will be going to a waterpark for the day to celebrate the last week of school."

When April finally did arrive, all the kids had basically been stuck inside all winter. However, because it was still a bit cold outside, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë decided that an indoor waterpark would be a good idea that time.

It was Thursday evening, and all the parents and their kids were getting rather excited about the upcoming day tomorrow.

At Ares' house, Phobos and Deimos were watching Aphrodite blow up their floaties while Ares made them do stretches to "prepare themselves for life stuff, punks".

"This one will help you keep afloat in the pool because I know you two can't swim without floaties," snarled Ares.

"Honey," Aphrodite giggled from the table, "we'll be there with them."

"I know, Aphro," Ares said sweetly (Aphrodite hated it when Ares gave her attitude). "But what if I wanna slip away for a beer or something with alcohol?"

"I don't think they've got alcohol at Silly Sprinklers Waterpark," said Aphrodite.

"How the living HELL does that work?" Ares screamed at her.

At Jason's house, Aeson was also blowing up Jason's floaties. "Okay, dude. You need to have these on at all times."

"Okay, Daddy. I promise," said Jason.

"Good boy," said Aeson. "Try 'em on."

Jason slipped his hands through the rubber floating devices and ran around the house. He'd just gotten a new swimsuit, too, so he was running around the house with no shirt on.

Finally, it was the day of the great waterpark adventure. When the kids walked into the classroom, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë had everyone—kids and parents—sit on the carpet for that day's rules.

"Okay, everyone," said Ms. Psyche. "Mr. Apollo will be here shortly with the bus. I just wanna go over a few rules before we head out. Does everyone know who's in their group?"

Everyone looked at her like she had worms crawling out of her nose.

"I'll take that as a _no_ ," Ms. Psyche said. "I have everyone's groups on this piece of paper."

Once everyone had their groups, Ms. Danaë handed everyone an aquamarine wristband. "This will get you into the waterpark," she explained.

"Ah, good," said Ms. Psyche. "It looks like Mr. Apollo is here with the bus! The rules are that we don't run, don't push people into the water, and stick with your groups AT ALL TIMES. I don't think I can stress that enough. And, also, you should have fun! All aboard!"

The kids got with their groups and everyone headed for Apollo's bus.

"Fructus," Demeter said as she sat next to her son, "you didn't eat enough cereal this morning, so I'd like for you to eat this breakfast bar. It's strawberry."

"I don't want the strawbrerry one," Fructus said. "And I wants to sit with Hebe, Mommy!"

"No," snapped Demeter. "Now eat this."

"No!"

"Open up!" Demeter pried Fructus' mouth open and forced his mouth closed over a fourth of the breakfast bar. "Chew it," she ordered.

Fructus chewed the breakfast bar, swallowed, and shuddered.

Clymene and Phaethon were sitting in another seat together, playing the alphabet game. You know, that game people go to on long car rides when they're incredibly bored and can't think of anything else to do.

"Mommy, are we there yet?" asked Phaethon.

"We have about twenty-five more minutes," said Clymene. "Why don't you talk to Theseus?"

"Because Theseus is stupid," said Phaethon.

Unfortunately, Theseus was sitting behind Phaethon with Aethra next to him. Theseus was old enough to know that _stupid_ wasn't a nice word when you're talking about somebody. So he did the only non-violent thing he could think of: he started to cry.

"PHAETHON!" screamed Clymene, "WE DON'T CALL PEOPLE _STUPID_! Theseus is a very smart boy. Aethra, I'm _so_ sorry about Phaethon's behavior this morning."

"It's okay, Clymene," said Aethra. Theseus had climbed into her lap and was in the middle of getting her shirt wet with snot and tears.

"No. It's not," Clymene insisted. "Phaethon, apologize right now. And when we get to the pool, you'll be in a timeout for four minutes."

Phaethon shoved his mother.

"Five minutes," Clymene ordered.

Phaethon shoved her again.

"Okay. Ten minutes of timeout for Phaethon," Clymene announced, loud enough for Ms. Psyche to hear her.

At the back of the bus, Andromeda and Perseus were having the time of their lives. Every time the bus hit a bump, it threw them up into the air.

"Dromie," said Cepheus, "are you excited to go swimming?"

"Yep," said Andromeda, giggling happily as the bus hit yet another bump.

"Hey," Cassiopeia said, looking at her daughter, "why don't we play a car game."

"Everyone, we're here!" yelled Mr. Apollo. "I hope you have a nice time, _blah, blah, blah_."

"Mr. Apollo," said Phaethon, "when I'm a big boy, can I drive your sun car?"

"No," said Apollo, laughing. "Get off."

Once they all got inside of Silly Sprinklers Waterpark, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë led everyone through the family locker room area. Once everyone had signed in, they all headed into the waterpark.

Clymene grabbed Phaethon's hand and pulled him over to the bench by the side of the pool. There she sat with him, took out her phone, and set an alarm for ten minutes.

Theseus, Perseus, and Andromeda were playing contentedly in the little kids' play area, when Aegeus had a wonderful idea.

"Let's ride the family ride," he suggested, smiling at Cepheus and Dictys.

"Dude, are they tall enough?" asked Cepheus.

"Oh, sure," said Aegeus, and he led them up the stairs to the big family slide.

"Daddy," said Andromeda as she held Cepheus' hand, "where are we going?"

"We're going on a big slide, princess," Cepheus replied.

"Oh…" Andromeda looked at her friends like she wanted them to know this would _not_ work out for her.

When they got to the top of the stairs, they met up with Jason and Bellerophon, who were already in a big raft and were about to go down the slide.

"It's kinda dark," said Perseus.

Jason and Bellerophon headed down the slide, screaming at the top of their lungs. The kids were sure they heard someone crying.

"Ready?" asked Amphitrite, who was a lifeguard. She took a blue-and-pink raft from the conveyer belt and put it into the water.

"Let's go, kiddos," said Dictys, getting into the raft and holding out his hand to Perseus.

"Daddy, it's dark in there," said Perseus as he got in.

"Nothing in there is scary," said Dictys.

Aegeus and Theseus got into the raft, as did Cepheus. Now they were waiting on Andromeda.

"C'mon, princess," Cepheus coaxed. "If you don't come, Mommy won't see you at the bottom."

"I don't wants to! I don't wants to!" Andromeda yelled as she was forced against her will into the raft by Aegeus and Dictys. She sat next to her father, crying.

"Andromeda, hold my hand," said Perseus.

So Andromeda held Perseus' hand, which made her feel a lot better.

Amphitrite the lifeguard gave them a push, and the raft went down a small drop, curved a few times, then landed in a bowl-shaped pool. The raft began to spin.

"All done?" asked Theseus.

"Nope. We have one more pool to go into," said Aegeus.

"I'm done anyway," said Theseus, attempting to climb out of the raft.

"Sit down," Aegeus said sharply.

Theseus, who was now on his knees, stayed there until they came to the end of the ride, where another lifeguard was waiting.

"Whoa," said Perseus, "we gots a Cyclops for a life person."

"Hi, little hero," said the Cyclops. "My name is Tyson. What's your name?"

"I'm Perseus. This is my hot babe Andromeda. And this is my bestest friend Theseus."

Tyson smiled and waved at the kids. "You kids are little," he remarked.

"Well, yeah," said Theseus, "we're in preschool. How old are you?"

"I'm—I don't know," Tyson admitted.

"Sorry," said Poseidon, who also worked there. "He doesn't understand stuff sometimes. C'mon, Tyson."

Poseidon and Tyson headed off to the bar for a few Cokes.

Meanwhile, Phaethon was finished with his timeout and dragging Clymene to a big water slide that she didn't really want to go on.

"Honey, do you think Mommy can stay down here?" asked Clymene, looking at the big drop that was awaiting her.

"No," snapped Phaethon. "You're coming with me. I need an adult to go on, too."

"Let's see if anyone would like to go on with you," said Clymene. Then she spotted Eros. "Eros! Would you mind going on Shooting Star with Phaethon?"

"Of course not," said Eros, taking Phaethon's hand. "I'll have him back in one piece. Could you take care of Hedone?"

"Of course," said Clymene, taking Hedone's hand. "What should we do, hon?"

"Let's go on the pink slide," Hedone giggled.

Eros led Phaethon up the stairs and they stood in line. Bellerophon and Glaucus were there as well.

Just then, Phobos, Deimos, and Ares all walked up the stairs and headed to the body slide next to Shooting Star: The Comet. Ares placed Phobos on first and kicked him down the slide. Then, without even waiting for the light at the top of the ride to turn green, he kicked Deimos down as well. Then _he_ went down, screaming like a little girl.

Poseidon grabbed a raft for Phaethon and Eros, who jumped in right away and came flying down the slide, as if they were actually on a shooting star. When they got off, they were both feeling a little sick to their stomachs.

Fructus and Hebe were waiting in line for a tube slide that could only take two people, so Hera and Demeter were at the bottom waiting for them.

Makaria came up behind them with Persephone. "Hi," said Makaria happily. "Can we ride with you?"

Fructus was still mad about the whole breakfast bar ordeal on the bus, so he took it out on Makaria by pushing her until she slipped and fell on her butt. Persephone snarled at Fructus, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she and Makaria headed back down the stairs again.

Hebe looked at Fructus. "We don't push, Fructus," she scolded.

Meanwhile, Perseus, Andromeda, and Theseus were walking around the waterpark, looking for something to do. Finally, they spotted the wave pool.

Cepheus, Dictys, and Aegeus were chilling out by the edge of the water, so the kids' mothers decided to step in. Cassiopeia and Andromeda had a tube together, and were heading down to the deeper end of the pool (despite Andromeda's protests). Unfortunately, there weren't enough tubes to go around, so Danaë and Aethra were stuck holding their kids in the water and bouncing up every time a big wave came.

When the waves weren't on, the kids swam to their mothers.

"Theseus, swim to Mommy!" Aethra called, spreading her arms. Theseus kicked off the bottom of the pool, kicked his little feet, and swam to Aethra.

"Ms. Danaë," Andromeda said, clinging to her mother for dear life, "I'm hungry."

"Let's go get food," said Ms. Danaë.

"I gotta pee, Mommy," Perseus announced loudly.

Ms. Danaë looked at her son. "Okay, honey," she said. "Let's find Daddy so he can take you."

Cassiopeia and Aethra headed for the food court with their kids, while Danaë tried looking for Dictys.

Perseus must've really had to go because he started doing the Bathroom Dance.

"Honey, stop," said Danaë. "There's Daddy!"

Dictys walked over towards them and grabbed his son's hand. Then they both sort of ran off to the bathroom.

After everyone had some lunch, they all went their separate ways once again. Phaethon finally convinced his mother to go on Shooting Star with him, which only made Clymene feel sick after that. Ms. Psyche, Eros, and Hedone all headed for the family raft slide again.

"Attention, boys and girls!" called an overly-happy voice on the intercom. "Do you like to dance?"

"No!" the kids screamed.

"Well, too bad!" the voice yelled back. "You're all being forced against your preschooler will to dance! Because I'm Ares and I'm a god! Now stay where you are and do the Chicken Dance."

All of the kids—believe it or not—started doing the Chicken Dance, but Ms. Psyche told them to stop and she ran into the lobby to yell at Ares.

"You all suck anyway," said Ares into the microphone.

Ms. Psyche looked at her phone. She was about to tell the kids it was almost time to go, and she didn't want to do that. She knew how awful they'd be on the way back because this had gone into their naptimes.

Ms. Psyche looked at Ms. Danaë and mouthed, _Apollo's here_.

"Boys and girls," said Ms. Danaë into the microphone. "We're all done swimming today!"

"AWWWWWW!" yelled everyone, including a few parents.

"So please follow your mommies and daddies back to the bus. If you'd like to change, go in your own locker rooms."

The locker room was really freaking cold, so all the girl kids were complaining, "Mommy, it's cold in here!"

"C'mere, Andromeda," said Cassiopeia. She took her daughter's hand. She took Andromeda into a section of the locker room and got her suit off of her.

Meanwhile, Clymene didn't have Helios with her, so Phaethon was the only boy in the locker room. So that meant every time a classmate walked by the section he was in, he'd cover himself and yell at her, "Don't look at me!"

"Phaethon, you're fine," said Clymene, putting a shirt on Phaethon.

"I see your butt," Hebe giggled.

"Knock it off, Hebe," Hera snapped.

Once everyone got out of the locker rooms, Ms. Psyche led everyone back onto the bus. Apollo was sitting there, texting Hermes about something. "You kids have fun?" he asked.

"Yes," the class said quietly.

"Great!"

Apollo revved the engine and the bus left.

 _All_ of the kids fell asleep. The adults were mostly trying to relax after a long day of playing with their kids in the pool. Even Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë fell asleep!

Hedone was the first to wake up from her nap. "Mommy, are we back yet?"

"Yes, honey, we're almost there," said Ms. Psyche. "Everyone," she called softly, "it's time to start waking up now. Parents, you can take your kids home right away. Thank you all for coming and spending the day with us!"

"Tomorrow's graduation," Ms. Danaë reminded everyone. "And the ceremony's at one-thirty! Dress is casual, nothing's necessary."

Later that night, Ms. Psyche was having an emotional moment. She didn't want to leave her preschoolers, but she knew she had to. They were all going into kindergarten next fall, but she felt…she didn't know how she felt.

The following morning was very busy. The class did the calendar and Ms. Danaë read the kids a story about moving on or something of that nature.

They didn't have a reading lesson that day, so the kids were allowed to go play outside. While they were playing, Ms. Psyche called each kid over one by one, and asked them to reflect on their first year of school.

"I loved it so much," said Bellerophon. "I learneded how to bake brownies and I learneded all the animal sounds and I learneded that my name starts with the letter B."

"What a wonderful reflection," Ms. Psyche said, smiling down at Bellerophon.

At noon, Ms. Hecate headed down to the classroom with pizza and Kool-Aid. All of the kids were delighted; it was very rare they had Kool-Aid in school.

At one, all the parents began to arrive. Since Ms. Hecate's Academy had an actual gym, all the parents were instructed to go into the gym and sit there.

At one-twenty, all the kids walked into the gym and sat down with their parents. And at one-thirty, Ms. Hecate got up and clapped. Everybody shut up.

"Welcome, friends and family, to the graduation ceremony of Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë's classroom!" she said excitedly. "After this, we'll give you treats in the classroom if you'd like them, but first we must congratulate each of the students.

"During playtime today, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë asked the students to reflect on their year at school and share what they've learned. So first, we have Andromeda, daughter of Cepheus and Cassiopeia, who said she learned her alphabet and she and Perseus both like playing princess castle."

Everyone looked at Perseus.

"Loser," Phaethon coughed.

Uncle P, who was also there, turned his laughter into a coughing fit, too.

"Both of you," Ms. Danaë said, "can go sit in the timeout corner of the gym!"

Ms. Hecate handed Andromeda a certificate and Andromeda headed back to her seat. "This next certificate is for Bellerophon, who said he learned how to bake brownies and that his name starts with the letter B."

The adults clapped politely as Bellerophon ran up to Ms. Hecate and accepted his certificate.

As soon as all the kids had gotten their certificates, Ms. Hecate made all the staff and students come up to the front of the gym for a group picture. So all the staff members stood in the back of the kids (except for Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë, who kneeled on the ground with a bunch of kids surrounding them).

"Thank you all for such a wonderful year," said Ms. Psyche happily. "Next year, your kids will have two new teachers. Unfortunately, they're not here right now, but they'll be here on Orientation Night. Any questions before the party?"

"When do they begin kindergarten?" asked Clymene.

"Um…" Psyche checked her planner. "It looks like class starts on…August twenty-second."

Clymene nodded and smiled at Phaethon, who was glowering at the ground like he didn't want to talk about school anymore.

"Let's have all the kids stay up here for the final reflection," said Ms. Hecate. "Kids, all you have to do is say one thing you liked about preschool this year."

"You guys do too much reflecting," said Polydectes (he was still in the corner). "Like, in my day, reflecting wasn't a thing—"

"SHUT UP, UNCLE P!" yelled Perseus.

Dictys and Danaë turned to the crowd of people; they could not have been more proud of their son.

Andromeda, as usual, went first. "I liked when we went to the pool yesterday and I gotted to swim with my friends."

"I liked when we learneded all of our letters," said Bellerophon.

"We liked teaching our friends about violence and bloodlust," said Deimos and Phobos.

"I didn't like anything," said Fructus bitterly.

"Fructus," snapped Demeter, "tell them what you told me in the car this morning."

"Oh, yeah…" Fructus cleared his throat. "I liked…uh…playing with Hebe."

"I liked playing games with my friends," said Hebe.

"I liked learning the numbers of the alphabet," said Hedone.

But then, mean old Uncle P butted in again. "Those are _letters_ , dumbass!" But then Perseus ran over to Uncle P and hit him, so it was all good.

"I liked when I gotted to do the weather," said Jason happily.

"I liked when we did show-and-tell," said Makaria.

"I liked when we baked and when we went to the zoo," said Perseus.

Phaethon glared at his classmates. "That was _my_ idea," he whined.

"Phaethon, maybe you can share something else," said Ms. Hecate.

Phaethon gave her an almighty pout and folded his arms. "I liked Career Day."

"I liked making new friends," said Theseus.

"Thank you all for sharing," said Ms. Hecate. "There's cupcakes and other treats in the classroom, so help yourselves to whatever you'd like! Parents, please make sure you take your child's projects home with you today, because we'll be throwing everything out on Monday!"

Everyone talked, drank, and had a good time. Uncle P was kicked out because he was being a jerk to all the little children, but he was NOT missed.

"What're you doing this summer?" asked Perseus as he and Theseus ate cookies and drank lemonade.

"I'm going swimming," said Theseus. "You?"

"Me, too. Maybe we can swim together!"

Everyone stayed until three-thirty. As people started heading home, Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë stood by the door, giving kids treat bags and hugs before they left for good.

When everyone finally left, Eros and Dictys helped their wives clean up the mess while Perseus and Hedone played together outside.

"I wonder what next year will be like," Ms. Psyche said as she took everyone's nametags off their cubbies.

"I bet they'll have a fun time next year," said Ms. Danaë. "Rhea and Leto are totally awesome."

As everyone kept cleaning, the thought of a new school year frightened them a bit. But that wouldn't be happening for a few more months. Right now, they had fun stuff to do for summer.

 **The end. I hope you guys liked it. But this isn't the end of the FanFiction! Don't worry, they'll be back with kindergarten next time…which shouldn't take me that long to write! I've added new characters, and kept all of our little preschoolers, too. Also, it'll be somewhat run like an actual elementary school.**

 **Anyway, thanks for the reviews so far and I hope you guys enjoy the second part of** _ **Ms. Hecate's Academy**_ **!**


	18. Chapter 17: Kindergarten: Day 1

**Well, I'm going to take all of you back to your kindergarten days! I hope you guys enjoy this one, too! New characters, new stuff, new everything!**

 **CHAPTER 17**

Summer was drawing to a close, and all the kids seemed to be anxious to get back to school. All of the previous kids were returning, with a few new additions to the new classroom.

Hercules and Iphicles (the twin sons of Amphitryon and Alcmene) were—once again—having a fight over who got which car seat. The family was going to buy some school supplies for the upcoming year.

"It's my turn with the red seat!" yelled Iphicles.

"No, it's my turn!" screamed Hercules.

"Both of you," Amphitryon snarled, "shut up! Now, this is going to be a fun family day. After this, we'll go to the park and have a picnic or something stupid. And then Mommy and Daddy will lock you two in the basement so we can watch an R-rated movie upstairs."

"Amphitryon," snarled Alcmene as she pulled out of the garage, "don't tell them that."

"Listen, hon," said Amphitryon, "if I'm a writer, I need inspiration…and that's where I get it."

When the family of four got to the store, they grabbed a cart and headed for the back where all the school supplies were.

"Now, you boys can each have one folder," said Alcmene. "So…where'd they go?"

Amphitryon, who'd been watching the boys, shrugged.

In the aisle next to them, a little girl was pulling on her father's shirt. "Daddy, can I have these for snack time?"

"Sure, baby girl," said the father.

"Cool!" said the girl, running down the aisle and grabbing the box full of fruit snacks.

"Atalanta, what do I keep telling you about running?" her father asked.

"No doing that in the store," Atalanta said in a monotone, like she'd said this before. "What do we have to get _now_?"

"We'll need to get you a new backpack," said Iasus. He checked his phone. "We gotta hurry though, pumpkin. Daddy has an archery class he's teaching in an hour."

Throughout the day, parents and kids kept coming into Olympus Market to get their supplies for school. Each of them was required to get a backpack, a folder of their choice, some crayons, colored pencils, and some supplies for the classroom, like wet wipes and tissues.

One person wasn't particularly happy about leaving, though.

Our favorite little princess—Andromeda—was spending the day with Cepheus while Cassiopeia was on vacation with Aphrodite in Greece. Cassiopeia's attitude toward Andromeda had really improved, yet it wasn't quite perfect. Both mother and daughter were still a bit anxious around each other.

"Dromie," said Cepheus, looking at his daughter, "we have to leave soon for your doctor's appointment."

"I don't wanna go, Daddy," Andromeda protested.

Cepheus ignored this and picked up Andromeda, paid for the school supplies, and headed off to the doctor's office with Andromeda crying in his arms.

At Asclepius' office, Andromeda ran into their new neighbor Cyrene, the daughter of Hypseus (whose wife had left him and Cyrene just after she was born).

"Why're you here?" Cyrene demanded.

"To get a physical," said Andromeda. "Ms. Hecate said she won't let us in because we could be really sick."

Cyrene smiled at Andromeda and began to play with the toys in the corner of the room with Cepheus and Hypseus talked for a bit. Andromeda, on the other hand, sat next to Cyrene, attempting to read a kid's book she got from the shelf.

"Andromeda," called the nurse, Hygeia, "your turn!"

Andromeda tried her very best to escape by casually walking out the door, but Cepheus held her hand and dragged her—against her will—inside the exam room.

Asclepius came in and he did Andromeda's physical. Then came the best news of all…

"I DON'T WANTS SHOTS, DADDY!" Andromeda screamed.

"Andromeda," Cepheus coaxed, "it's okay."

Asclepius readied the needle, but he put it under the table so Andromeda couldn't see it. "Are you excited for school?" he asked her.

"Yes," Andromeda sobbed.

"Guess what? That was it," said Asclepius. He gave Andromeda a big, round sticker, which she placed on her shirt.

Later that evening, the parents and their kids headed to Ms. Hecate's Academy to begin that night's orientation.

"Good evening, everyone! It's so nice to see everyone's happy faces tonight!" Ms. Hecate said loudly. "Parents, the only thing I'd like to say tonight is to please hand in your child's physical and dental forms. Then you can have a look around the classroom and make your child feel at home!"

When the kids walked inside of the classroom, they were stunned to see that it no longer looked like Ms. Psyche's classroom. Yes, there was a big carpet for circle time, some bulletin boards for work the students would do, and that kind of thing. But the students also saw these things that looked like doors, and there were also more tables in the room. Each table had a nametag with a child's name on it.

Hera grabbed Hebe's hand and Hebe's backpack. "Hebe," she said gently, "this is your cubby. See? It's got a pink butterfly on it so we'll know it's yours."

Aethra stood next to them, showing Theseus his cubby. "Look, Theseus," she said. "Ms. Rhea must know you like snakes. You have a green snake for your cubby, so we'll know it's yours and nobody else's."

"Mommy, look," said Fructus. "My door has a strawberry on it!"

"It does," Demeter said happily. "It matches the picture on your cubby!"

Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto were walking around, talking to parents and students.

"Ms. Rhea," said Clymene, "I have a question. Phaethon gets frequent nightmares at home. Is there a place near you that he can sleep during naptime?"

"Yep," Ms. Rhea said. "We've already got him close to me and Ms. Leto."

Clymene sighed with relief. "Thank the gods. Phaethon, this is where you'll be sleeping at naptime."

Over the summer, Hebe had been diagnosed with _severe_ separation anxiety, so she was now crying when Hera showed her the table where she'd be sitting.

"Hebe, why are you sad?" asked Ms. Leto.

Hera, who hated Leto because King Zeuster had slept with her, snapped, "She's distraught because she'll be in your class, Leto."

"Zeus texted me last night and said that I was _way_ sexier than you," snapped Ms. Leto.

"Excuse me?" barked Hera.

Ms. Leto took out her phone and showed Hera the text. There—sure enough—was Zeus' conversation with Leto about her being sexier than Hera.

"Mommy," said Hebe, "I wanna go home now. This place makes me sick."

Perseus was walking with Danaë and Dictys as they showed him his stuff around the classroom.

"This is where you'll be working," said Dictys. "This looks like your name."

Perseus examined the nametag, which had the same picture as his cubby and his locker: a goldfish.

"Mommy," called a little boy with blond hair, "where's my locker at?"

"Orpheus, we just saw it," said the mother. "Right here. You have a doggie on your door, just like your nametag."

"Parents," Ms. Rhea called to the room, "before you go, please take a copy of the syllabus!"

"That's high school bull crap," said Ares.

Ms. Rhea cleared her throat calmly and handed Ares a syllabus.

"Dammit," snarled Ares as he and Aphrodite headed out of the room with their kids. "Boys, let's go get some fries. I'm starving!"

Some other parents were just getting into the classroom, including Jason and Aeson, his dad. Jason clung to his father's hand like he didn't want to go to school just yet.

"Buddy, lookit that!" Aeson said, pointing to Jason's locker. "This is a sheep with your name on it."

"His name is Jason, too?"

"Yeah," said Aeson. "Isn't that cool? C'mon, let's put your stuff in your locker."

Meanwhile, guess who walked into the room with Makaria? Why, Hades did! Hades was having a bad day because he and Persephone got into a fight that involved carrots.

"Hades!" called Ms. Rhea. "Come give Mommy a kiss!"

"Oh—" Hades said, catching himself before he swore in front of his daughter and her friends. "I don't think that'll be necessary, Mother."

"Oh, come now," said Ms. Rhea. "Mommy's waiting!"

Hades glared at the kids and kissed his mother on the cheek.

Let us now fast-forward to the night before school starts.

Atalanta and her dad were eating dinner when Iasus asked his daughter a question. "Are you excited for kindergarten tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Atalanta said half-heartedly.

"Are you nervous?"

"Daddy, I'm a big girl now. And big girls don't get nervous about anything."

At Andromeda's house, the situation was similar, but Andromeda was in tears as her parents put her to bed.

"Dromie," said Cepheus, "this'll be fun!"

Andromeda gave her father a big pout. "But I don't wants to go tomorrow."

"Dromie," said Cassiopeia, pulling Andromeda's blanket back, "remember how much you loved school last year? This'll be like that."

"Ms. Danaë said we'll have to work harder, though."

"Honey, that's school for you," said Cassiopeia, kissing her daughter goodnight. "Don't worry about a thing. You'll have lots of fun and make some new friends."

The next morning, all the parents woke their kids up. At Jason's house, Aeson was making Jason some toast when his son walked into the room. "Daddy, I'm ready for school!"

Sure enough, Jason had dressed himself.

"Wow, look at you," said Aeson. "But, kiddo, remember what I told you? Stripes and plaids don't go together."

"Oh." Jason ran back upstairs, coming down with the right kind of clothing on.

Meanwhile, Bellerophon was sitting on his bed while Eurynome got him a pair of shorts to wear. "How about these?" she asked.

"Okay," said Bellerophon.

"Did you brush your teeth yet?"

"Yeah, Mommy."

"Good boy, Bellerophon. It's time for school!"

It was about eight forty-five when parents and kids started piling into the classroom. Ms. Leto was standing by the door to greet everyone, while Ms. Rhea was instructing some of the kids on how to do attendance.

"Okay, Triton," said Ms. Rhea, "this picture has your name on it, see? So what I'd like you to do is put this nametag on the poster that says SCHOOL."

Triton did the task and Ms. Rhea gave him tons of verbal praise that wasn't really necessary. Triton gave Amphitrite a hug and headed to the carpet for circle time.

Phaethon wouldn't let go of Clymene's leg, so Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto took care of him by pulling him away from Clymene. Once that was done, they told Phaethon to go sit on the carpet and see his new friends.

When Hera finally left the freaking classroom, Ms. Rhea led a sobbing Hebe over to the carpet and placed her on the floor next to the teacher's chair. It was time for school to begin now.

"Good morning, everybody!" called Ms. Rhea.

"Good morning," the class said quietly.

"Welcome to the first day of kindergarten! Is everyone ready for a fun year together?"

"Yes!"

"Excellent! My name is Ms. Rhea and this is my helper, Ms. Leto! We're so excited you're in our classroom this year! Now, everyone, please stand up and we'll do the Olympian Pledge!"

The class did the Pledge, although Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë had neglected to teach their students that last year.

"Very good," Ms. Rhea cooed. "Now, please follow us for a tour around the room! Then…I think we'll do some games to get to know our new friends."

The classroom was divided into part first-grade classroom, part kindergarten classroom. There was some of the same stuff from last year, like the pretend kitchen, the small indoor jungle gym, and the carpet for circle time. But the kids noticed, immediately, that there were more tables with nametags on them.

Ms. Rhea led the class around the room. When she got to the first-grade-looking classroom, she stopped. "We'll be learning how to write this year," she explained sweetly. "So when we're done with our little tour, you all can find your seats—Theseus, not now, honey."

Theseus had escaped the group and was attempting to find his name.

"Theseus," Ms. Leto called, "come back here, please."

Theseus reluctantly rejoined the group and stood next to Phaethon.

"Here's the bathroom," said Ms. Rhea. "And it's just like the one you had in preschool last year."

"Well, the tour's finished," said Ms. Leto. "Now, let's go back to the carpet and play some fun games!"

"This first game requires really good listeners," said Ms. Rhea. "So we're going to play Telephone."

All the kids knew how to play Telephone, so no one had to explain it.

Ms. Rhea went first, and she was sitting next to Hebe. When it finally got to Phaethon, who was at the end, he blurted out, "Ms. Psyche sucks."

"Phaethon," said Ms. Rhea, her voice firm, "we don't say that. I'm afraid I'll have to move your clothespin up to yellow."

"Boys and girls," said Ms. Leto, "this is our stoplight. Everyone starts on green at the beginning of the day. If you do or say something bad, we'll move you up to yellow, and then to red if we see it again."

"What happens if we do it lots and lots of times?" asked a little girl.

"Well, Eurydice," said Ms. Leto, "we call your parents."

"Ms. Rhea," said Andromeda with her hand in the air, "I'm hungry. When's lunchtime?"

"Actually, lunch won't be for another couple of hours," said Ms. Rhea. "It's time to play outside now!"

Ms. Leto opened the door to the playground, and the kids ran screaming outside.

Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto were calmly sitting on the bench, watching the kids play their pretend games and all that jazz. Finally, they saw their first fight of the school year (and hopefully the last).

"It's my turn on the swings!" yelled Hercules.

"No! Just 'cause you were born two minutes before me doesn't mean you gets it!" yelled Iphicles.

"Boys," said Ms. Leto, "what's wrong?"

"I wanna get the swings," grumbled Hercules. "But _he_ wants it, too." He pointed at Iphicles.

"Well, why don't you take turns," suggested Ms. Leto. "Look! There's another swing next to this one!"

"I don't wants that one!" yelled Iphicles.

"Then I'm afraid you boys need to find something else to do," Ms. Leto said firmly. "Iphicles, dear, why don't you go on the pretend tractor over there. Hercules, how about you go on the jungle gym with Orpheus."

The twins went their separate ways and Ms. Leto smiled to herself as she watched the rest of the kids play.

Perseus and Andromeda were standing next to each other at the top of the jungle gym, holding long sticks.

"What're you guys doing?" asked Atalanta.

"We're fishing," said Perseus. "My daddy taught me how to fish yesterday. So I'm teaching Andromeda."

"Can I fish, too?" asked Atalanta.

"Sure," said the pair of them. Perseus handed her a stick and Atalanta smiled at him.

A story below, Theseus, Phaethon, Jason, Bellerophon, and Triton were all playing Passwords. This game involved a little bit of mind-reading…and maybe some screaming and yelling, depending on how the game was being played.

Jason was the Password person, and he wasn't very good at it either because he kept forgetting the passwords he'd already used.

"Hey, stupid," said Phaethon, "you already used that word."

"Phaethon! That's Warning Number Two!" called Ms. Rhea.

"I don't like her anymore," said Phaethon quietly while Ms. Rhea walked around the playground. "I thought she was nice, but she's not."

"Can I kick you?" asked Theseus. "I'm antsy 'cause all my drugs wore off."

"Yeah. Sure. If it gets me sent home, go right ahead."

"Ouch," said Andromeda as she caught her hand on a sharp part of her stick.

"You okay?" asked Atalanta.

"Yeah," Andromeda said. "I think I cut myself."

"Class!" called Ms. Leto. "When I count to twenty, you need to be in line to go inside!" And she started to count.

"Phaethon!" called Ms. Rhea. "C'mon, sweetheart! Let's go inside!"

Phaethon slid down the slide and ran over to the rest of the class. The rest of the kids were lined up in front of Ms. Leto as she said, "Eighteen…nineteen…twenty! Is everyone here? Good! You kids are such good listeners!"

When they got back inside, Ms. Rhea told them to find their names on their tables. Each table had three kids sitting at it—with the exception of one—since there were nineteen kids in the class.

Ms. Rhea decided it was time to organize their table boxes, so she handed each child a plastic box that would be kept on the table, so if they needed any school supplies, they could just reach over and get it.

"What are these called?" asked Ms. Rhea, holding up a box of crayons. "Yes, Jason?"

"Crayons!" Jason yelled.

"Very good, Jason," said Ms. Rhea. "Let's put these into our table boxes. Now, what're _these_ called? Yes, Orpheus?"

"Markers!"

"Very good, Orpheus," Ms. Rhea said happily. She continued to show the class their school supplies, and kept telling them to put them into their table boxes.

When it was finally time for lunch, Ms. Rhea told everyone to stay where they were so that the teachers could pass out food.

"For lunch today," said Ms. Leto, "we're having chicken tenders with potato chips and carrots."

The class groaned because they thought that Miss Hestia would give them dessert, too.

"Stop that," snapped Ms. Leto, who was apparently having some issues today. "I'm disappointed in you kids."

"Thanks, Miss Hestia," said Andromeda.

"You're welcome, dear," said Miss Hestia.

"Miss Hestia, do you like brownies?" asked Bellerophon.

"Yes. Yes, I do, Bellerophon." Miss Hestia quickly passed out the rest of the kids' food, then turned to the teachers. "Such nice kids you have this year," she said facetiously. Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto caught it and smiled apologetically at Miss Hestia.

All the kids were laughing, eating, and being merry, until Ms. Rhea told them to throw their things out because it was time for…

"NO!" yelled Cyrene. "I DON'T WANT NAPTIME! I WANNA RUN!"

"Cyrene," Ms. Rhea said firmly, "please go to Ms. Leto and she'll give you your cot. After this, boys and girls, we'll be going to the gym for PE."

Once all the kids were lying down on their cots, Ms. Leto turned off the lights. "We need to go to a meeting for a bit, so try to get some rest," she told the class firmly.

So, despite the fact that they should've stayed with their class, Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto headed to Ms. Hecate's office.

When they knocked on the door, Ms. Danaë answered it. "Hey, guys," she smiled. "How can I help you?"

"We need to talk to Hecate right now," Rhea said urgently. "About the kids."

Danaë paled. "Is Theseus biting again?"

"No," said Ms. Leto. "Could you just go get Hecate?"

Back in the classroom, the kids were trying to sleep, but couldn't because they were reflecting on what terrible teachers they had this year. They'd been nice the first few minutes, but now they were snotty with the kids. Was it something they did?

Andromeda, who was sleeping next to Hebe, started sniffling and crying. "I wanna go home," she sniffled.

"But school's fun," said Hedone. "At least, it was when Mommy teached here."

"Yeah, but your mommy was nice," said Hebe. "Ms. Leto's mean to us. All she does is yell."

"Well," said Cyrene, sitting up and clutching her blanket, "if Phaethon didn't give them attitude, maybe they would be nicer."

"You're mean!" yelled Phaethon, who was on the other side of the room next to Bellerophon and Triton. "I shareded my opinion of Ms. Psyche."

"Guys," hissed Atalanta, "I think I see them! Quick! Pretend you're sleeping!"

Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto came back into the room, both of them carrying files on the preschoolers from last year. They both sat down at their desks and began to write notes rapidly in the kids' files. When that was done, they made new files for the other kids.

When Ms. Rhea's phone went off, all the kids sat up on their cots like they'd rehearsed it.

"Please line up at the door," said Ms. Leto. "I'll count to ten."

"She's meaner than Uncle P," Perseus whispered in Andromeda's ear.

"Yeah," Andromeda agreed. "At least Uncle P doesn't look at us like Ms. Leto is now."

"Let's see…" Ms. Rhea thought aloud, "I think our line leader today should be Eurydice."

Eurydice walked next to Ms. Rhea as they led the class to the gym.

"Class, please behave yourselves," said Ms. Leto firmly. "Remember, we're in charge of your stoplight spot."

All the kids piled into the gym. Suddenly, they heard a booming voice. "SIT YOUR LITTLE ASSES DOWN!"

The kids sat down and looked at their teachers: Mr. Ares and Ms. Aethra.

"Hi, Mommy!" Theseus said happily.

"Hi, honey," said Ms. Aethra.

"Shut up!" yelled Mr. Ares. "I am Mr. Ares, your PE teacher! This is Ms. Aethra, your other PE teacher! Honestly, I don't got nothing to say to you little craps, so here's what we're gonna do today! All the boys over by me! All the girls by Ms. Aethra! We're going to play a little game here. You will each wrestle each other until someone starts screaming, kicking, or crying…or possibly all three. Whichever team has the least number of people still standing wins!" Mr. Ares blew his whistle. "Go!"

The kids didn't move.

"I said GO!" yelled Mr. Ares. He blew his whistle even louder.

The kids all ganged up on Mr. Ares.

"ATTACK!" yelled Bellerophon. And the kids all knocked Mr. Ares to the floor.

Theseus bit Mr. Ares on the hand. "OW!" screamed Mr. Ares.

Phaethon spat in Mr. Ares' beard. "EW!" screamed Mr. Ares.

Finally, all the girls in the class started singing a princess song (way to go, Andromeda!), and that's when Mr. Ares lost it.

"Now that you have all pissed me off," yelled Mr. Ares, "you all get to run ten laps around the gym to the song 'American Idiot' by Green Day!" He turned on the CD player and placed a CD into it. That's when the kids all started to laugh at Mr. Ares.

" _I love you, you love me._

 _We're a happy family_!"

"Oh, SICK!" yelled Mr. Ares. "I must've grabbed Aphro's CD by mistake."

"Run, kids!" Ms. Aethra said.

The kids all ran around the gym, giggling and having a good old time.

When the hour of PE was up, Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto came back to get their students.

"Now, class," said Ms. Rhea, "it's time to reflect upon your day. I'm going to give you a little journal, and you can draw a picture of something fun that happened today."

Hebe was in the middle of drawing someone stomping on her new teachers when the bell rang.

"Line up to go home!" yelled Ms. Leto. "Grab your backpacks and sit at your seats and wait for parents to get here!"

Parents started to trickle in a few moments later.

"How were they today?" asked Clymene as she grabbed Phaethon's hand.

"Your son's a real handful," Ms. Leto said bitterly.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Clymene. "Phaethon's a little _angel_."

"Right," snapped Ms. Leto, "sure he is."

Aethra had gotten out of the gym and came into the classroom. There, she found Theseus sadly playing with a truck. "Theseus," she called, "let's get some ice cream!"

The rest of the parents collected their kids. Cepheus and Andromeda left (Andromeda in tears over her terrible day of school); Bellerophon and Eurynome left soon after. Jason and Aeson headed out after Jason said goodbye to his friends.

When all the kids had gone home, Ms. Rhea glared at Ms. Leto. "You having hormonal issues, Leto?" Ms. Rhea demanded.

"Rhea, these kids are awful," said Ms. Leto.

"Okay," Rhea sighed. "What time did you go to sleep last night?"

"I fell asleep around two."

"Well, no wonder you're tired!" Rhea exclaimed. "Go home and sleep, Leto!"

"Andromeda," said Cassiopeia when she got home from the salon, "how was—where is she, Cepheus?"

"She had a rough day today," said Cepheus. "So I gave her some ice cream. She's in the playroom watching _Snow White_ or something."

Cassiopeia ran into the playroom, where Andromeda was watching—you guess it—a princess movie. "Honey, did you have a rough day today?"

"Uh-huh," Andromeda said.

"What happened?"

"All Ms. Leto does is yell at us. She's so mean and I hate her!"

"Honey, maybe she's tired. You have a few more kids in your classroom this year, so she's probably overwhelmed."

Meanwhile, Aethra and Theseus had just gotten home.

"What color Popsicle do you want today?" asked Aethra.

"Purple," said Theseus dejectedly.

Aethra smiled at her son and pulled out a purple Popsicle from the fridge. She unwrapped it and handed it to him. "Did you have a bad day today?" she said.

Theseus stuck his tongue out and touched the Popsicle. He nodded as he licked it, the treat turning his tongue a shade of purple. "Ms. Leto's mean, Mommy. Can't you teach me stuff here?"

"Honey, I clean the house all day," said Aethra. "We'll see how you feel tomorrow morning. Maybe you'll want to go back."

"Cyrene," Hypseus said warily, "what did I say about running around with knives?"

"Knives kill people," said Cyrene.

"Good girl," said Hypseus. "Now, help me shuck the corn."

While they were shucking, Cyrene bitched about her first day of kindergarten. "Daddy, I don't wanna go back. They make you color and sleep and play with other kids."

"Honey, I'm sure that school's going to get better," said Hypseus. "Just give it a chance."

The kids didn't get much sleep that night. Ms. Leto, on the other hand, fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow (the same thing happened with Ms. Rhea).

The following morning, Theseus woke up and glumly headed down the stairs. Aegeus and Aethra were both sitting at the table, drinking coffee and talking to each other.

"Good morning, honey," said Aethra, kissing Theseus on the forehead.

"Morning," said Theseus. "I don't feel good today. Can I stay home?"

"Dude, you have to go to school," said Aegeus. "But tell us what's wrong."

"My throat hurts really bad," Theseus lied, hoping his parents would believe him. "And so does my tummy."

Aethra looked at Aegeus. "Well," she said, "if it really hurts, I'll guess we'll have to go see Dr. Asclepius."

"Yeah," said Aegeus. "You don't wanna go see him because he just said you were healthy."

"C'mon, hon," said Aethra. "Mommy made you some M&M pancakes."

Theseus took one bite of the pancakes, then pushed them away. Okay, he wasn't lying now. His stomach was hurting him too much.

"Theseus, is this about going to school?" asked Aegeus.

Theseus nodded sadly.

"Well, I guess we'll let you stay home," said Aethra, "but I want you to sleep today. Hmm…your face actually looks a bit pale."

"PHAETHON!" yelled Helios. "C'MON, DUDE! TIME FOR SCHOOL!"

And that was what the other kids' parents were telling them.

It was an interesting meet-and-greet time that morning, because none of the kids wanted to return to school. At least half of the class was crying because they didn't want to go back, while the other half clung to their parents' legs in an effort to go home.

"Class," called Ms. Rhea sweetly, "let's do our morning activities!"

 **Hmm…what should happen on the second day of kindergarten?**


	19. Chapter 18: Music Class

**Thanks for all the reviews! Ah…kids say the craziest things…like they do in this chapter! Good thing I rated this T!**

 **CHAPTER 18**

"Rhea," said Hecate, walking into the classroom during the planning period, "Theseus is sick this morning, so he won't be here till tomorrow."

"Oh, poor thing," Rhea cooed. "What's wrong with him?"

"Upset stomach, I guess," said Hecate. "How was the first day?"

Leto, who was at her desk texting Artemis, looked up from her phone. "Well, I feel kinda awful about how I treated the kids yesterday," she admitted.

"Well, maybe you can make it up to them," said Hecate.

There was a knock on the door.

"Good morning, Andromeda," said Ms. Rhea happily. "Did you have a nice night last night?"

"I was sad, so Daddy gived me some ice cream and I watched _Snow White_ , which made me even more sad. So, then I watched _Cinderella_ , and that maded me feel better."

"Well, I'm glad that movie made you feel better," said Ms. Rhea. "How about you show Mommy how we know you're here. Do you remember what we do?"

"Yeah," said Andromeda. "First I put all my stuff in my locker."

"And then what?" asked Cassiopeia.

"Then I put my take-home folder into my cubby so they can collect it."

"And then what?" asked Ms. Leto.

"Then I gets a sticker off the paper and put it next to my name." Andromeda had a ton of trouble finding her name, so Ms. Leto helped her out.

"Let's sound it out," said Ms. Leto sweetly. "An-DROM-ed-a."

"Um…"

"Remember? Mommy showed you last night what the first letter was," said Cassiopeia. "What's the first letter, Andromeda?"

"A!" Andromeda finally said.

"Good girl," said Ms. Rhea. "But, look, Dromie! There are two kids in here who have A's as the first letter of their name. Which one is yours?"

"The first one?" Andromeda guessed.

"Good job, sweetheart. You're the first one on the chart," said Ms. Leto.

"Bye, Mommy," said Andromeda. "I love you!"

"I love you, too," said Cassiopeia. Both mother and daughter exchanged hugs. "Daddy will see you at two-thirty. Don't forget you're getting your hair cut later."

When the rest of the kids showed up, they all gave Ms. Leto nasty looks before they sat down.

"Who wants to share what they did last night?" asked Ms. Rhea as she looked at her class. "Phaethon?"

"I walked in on my parents watching this weird movie called _Immortals_ ," Phaethon admitted, still with his little hand in the air.

"Oh, is that the movie about Theseus?"

"I don't know," Phaethon replied. "Theseus isn't cool enough to be in a movie."

"Phaethon, that's not nice," said Ms. Leto. "I'll have to move your clothespin now."

Phaethon shrugged. "Okay. And my mommy's trying to get pregnant again…"

"Phaethon, let's let someone else have a turn," said Ms. Leto.

"I'm not done yet," snapped Phaethon. "So I was almost asleep last night when I heard lots of giggling and stuff in my parents' room—"

"Cyrene, what did you do yesterday?" asked Ms. Rhea quickly.

"I helped make dinner," Cyrene said quietly.

"Excellent. Orpheus, you?"

"I singed a song," said Orpheus. "It was about the sun shining in the big, blue sky."

"Hey, stupid," said Phaethon. "There's no sun today because there's all these stupid clouds."

"Phaethon, that's your second warning," said Ms. Rhea firmly. She moved his clothespin from yellow to red. "If you do that again, I'm afraid I'll have to call Mommy."

"Okay, stupid."

Ms. Rhea wrote something down on her clipboard and handed it to Ms. Leto, who took it to Ms. Hecate's office. "Now, class, it's time for the morning circle activities. Let's all stand up and do our stretching."

Ms. Leto walked into the front office and handed the note to Ms. Danaë. "Good morning," said Leto. "Phaethon's behavior is off the charts today—literally. Would you mind calling Clymene so he doesn't keep bothering the rest of the kids?"

"No problem," said Danaë. She got on the phone. "Hi, Clymene, this is Danaë from Ms. Hecate's Academy. Leto and Rhea are wondering if you could pick Phaethon up right away. Apparently, his behavior's literally off the charts."

"Yes," said Clymene. "I'll be right there. Tell Phaethon that he's in deep trouble when I get there, too."

"No problem," said Danaë. "She'll be right over. In the meantime, tell Phaethon to grab his things."

Ten minutes later, Clymene came into the front office, her face all red with anger. "Phaethon Helios!" she barked at him. "How many times must I tell you not to misbehave in school?"

"Everyone's stupid and I hate it here," Phaethon shot back.

Clymene grabbed her son by the hand and marched him out to the car. "Ooh, when your father gets home, you're gonna be in deep shit, Phaethon."

Clymene never cussed in front of Phaethon, so he knew he was screwed.

Meanwhile, back at Theseus' house, Aethra was downstairs, watching some home improvement show while her son slept. Theseus was feeling a lot better, but didn't want to tell his mother because he didn't want to see Ms. Leto ever again.

Aethra walked upstairs to check on her son. When she opened the door, Theseus was tossing his M&M pillow into the air and letting it hit the blankets.

"Hmm…" said Aethra, "it looks like you're doing better, Theseus."

Theseus looked at his mother, then at the pillow, then back at his mother. "No. I'm still sick." He did a cough that sounded fake.

She felt his forehead. "You're cool."

"I know."

"No, hon. You're not warm anymore. Maybe I should take you back to school—"

"NO!" Theseus yelled. "I DON'T WANNA GO BACK, MOMMY! MS. LETO'S MEAN TO US!"

"Oh, Theseus," Aethra said, "Ms. Leto was just tired yesterday."

Theseus folded his arms and stuck his tongue out at Aethra.

"Okay, Theseus, you got me," Aethra admitted. "I'll be downstairs making dinner if you wanna help."

Theseus—whose ADHD was getting the best of him now—shot out of bed and beat Aethra downstairs.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (or wherever the hell those children learn), it was coloring time. Ms. Rhea had put on some fun Greek music to make coloring seem more fun (not that coloring's not fun).

Hebe and Makaria were happily coloring pictures of flowers and butterflies…when that freaking fruitcake Fructus barged in and announced that butterflies and flowers were too girly for him. So he chose to work with Jason and Orpheus.

So while Fructus was being a sexist kindergartener (and Jason kept getting Orpheus' name mixed up with something else), everyone else was silently coloring with their friends.

Ms. Leto, who was a crazy perfectionist, looked over Perseus' shoulder as he was coloring a picture of the ocean. "Sweetie, I think water's blue, not yellow."

"I know that," Perseus said. "It's only yellow 'cause Daddy said I could pee in the ocean if I really need to go."

"What's it feel like?" asked Andromeda, who was—for once—not coloring a picture related to royalty (she was coloring a picture of a sky).

"Daddy says it feels weird. All I know is that when he does it in the water, Mommy gets a yucky look on her face and says she thinks she's gonna get seasick."

"What's that mean?"

"It means you lean over and puke in the water," said Perseus. "I don't get seasick. I don't think the fish like puke very much."

It was raining outside today, so recess was inside the classroom. When the kids had finished coloring, Ms. Leto and Ms. Rhea put on some fun kids songs that the kids could dance to. One of these songs was "YMCA".

"Class, we have lunch in a few minutes," Ms. Leto said a little later on. "Today's lunch is spaghetti with meatballs."

"Ooh," said Atalanta. "My favorite!"

"Hey, Orifice," said Jason, "wanna sit with me?"

"Sure," said Orpheus. "But my name's not what you said. It's Orpheus."

"Sorry. I gotted mixed up."

When Miss Hestia brought their food over to them, they began to eat it happily, which made Miss Hestia feel wanted and stuff.

The only person who couldn't eat it was Fructus (are you shocked?) because Demeter had said he was on a gluten-free diet. Hebe gave Fructus one of her noodles and Fructus gave her a kiss when his teachers had their backs turned.

At twelve-fifteen, lunch ended and the kids got ready for their naps. Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto handed out their cots and the kids placed them in their corresponding spots.

"Triton, honey," said Ms. Rhea, "you're actually right here."

Triton looked at where he'd put his cot, then looked at where Ms. Rhea was standing. He dragged his cot over to her and she patted him on the head.

Naptime lasted a bit longer than usual. The music teacher, Ms. Mnemosyne, was running late, so she asked Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto to have the kids rest a bit longer.

"Let's wake them up, Rhea," said Ms. Leto.

Yesterday, Ms. Leto was having such an off day that she'd completely forgotten to tell the kids about the magic lightning bolt. The magic lightning bolt (a piece of cardboard shaped like a lightning bolt) was to wake the kids up after their nap is over.

Ms. Leto walked around the room, tapping everyone on the head and telling them that the lightning bolt "zapped" them awake.

"Is everybody awake?" asked Ms. Rhea. "Okay, class, if you're wearing the color pink, you may line up at the door."

Andromeda, Hebe, Hedone, and Makaria headed towards the door.

"If you have…shorts on, you may line up."

Everyone, except Fructus (who had on overalls), lined up.

"If your name is Fructus, you may line up."

Fructus ran to the back of the line.

"And…who should be our line leader today?" Ms. Rhea wondered. "Where's Andromeda?"

Andromeda was in the front anyway, so she took Ms. Rhea's hand and the class headed down to the gym.

"YAY!" Hebe squeaked. "MS. PSYCHE'S HERE!"

Sure enough, Ms. Psyche was helping out with music with Ms. Mnemosyne.

"Good afternoon, class!" called Ms. Psyche. "Did everyone have a nice summer?"

The class nodded sleepily.

"Very good," said Ms. Psyche. "Let's all sit in a big circle around Ms. Mnemosyne."

Ms. Mnemosyne, a tiny woman with brown hair that was high up in a ponytail, smiled at the class as she turned on the CD player. The CD began to play a slow beat. Ms. Mnemosyne and Ms. Psyche tapped the beat on their knees.

"So, what we'll do," said Ms. Mnemosyne, "is we're going to play the Name Game. Who's played the Name Game before?"

Luckily, all the kids had played the name game, so Ms. Psyche began to sing the song. When they finally got to Triton, Ms. Mnemosyne stopped the song.

"Now, wasn't that fun?" asked Ms. Psyche. "What's this called?" She tapped a beat on her knees. "Orpheus?"

"A beat," said Orpheus.

"Very good, Orpheus," said Ms. Psyche. "Let's clap the beat to this song." And she turned on "Sally the Camel". All the kids tapped the beat on their knees and sang the tune.

"Now, when we come into music class," said Ms. Mnemosyne, "we'll be singing our 'Hello Song'. This one is really easy. I believe Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danaë taught it last year to most of you. So if you remember it, sing loud and proud! _Hello, kindergarteners_!"

" _Hello, Ms. Mnemosyne_!"

" _How do you feel_?"

" _I feel good, so very, very good_!"

"Very good, class!" said Ms. Psyche. "Oh, it looks like it's time to go back to class. See you kids next week! Before you go, let's sing our 'Goodbye Song'."

After the kids sang the "Goodbye Song", they waited for directions.

"It looks like Ms. Rhea's here," said Ms. Psyche. "So if you have blond hair, you may line up."

Jason, Orpheus, Atalanta, and Fructus lined up in front of Ms. Rhea.

"If you're have brown hair, you may line up."

Andromeda, Perseus, and a lot more lined up.

"And if you have black hair, line up."

The rest of the kids lined up at the door, and Ms. Rhea led them back to class.

Ms. Leto had placed the kids' journals on their desks. Each journal the kids did well on got a sticker for that day's work, so all the kids found stickers on their journals they did yesterday.

Orpheus drew a picture of him and Jason coloring together. Fructus drew a picture of a strawberry (because he was hungry). Atalanta and Cyrene were both drawing pictures of music class, because that was their favorite part of the day.

Parents started to arrive. When Aeson told Jason to say bye to his friends, Jason yelled in the midst of the crowd, "Bye, Orifice!"

Orpheus' face turned red with embarrassment, but he was saved because his mom, Calliope, had come to get him from school.

Although all seemed well at Ms. Hecate's Academy, Phaethon was busy sitting in his room. He'd been in a timeout for the past few hours. Clymene had given him his lunch, but then she sent him upstairs right away for his nap.

It was about four-thirty when Helios walked in the door. "Hey, honey," he said happily, pecking Clymene on the cheek. "Where's my little dude?"

"Your little dude," Clymene grumbled as she started to make dinner, "is upstairs in his room."

"Is he sick?"

"No, dear. He was being a bad boy in school today…calling everyone _stupid_ and that kind of thing. Apparently, he got his clothespin moved three times today. So, I got a call from Danaë, saying I needed to come down to the school right away."

"Clymene, I think you're being a bit harsh with him."

"HARSH?!" Clymene yelled. "GO UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND YELL AT YOUR SON!"

Helios shrugged, grabbed a cookie, and headed upstairs to Phaethon's room. As he expected, Phaethon was sitting on his bed, throwing a tennis ball at the wall. "Dude," said Helios, "what happened in school today?"

"We were singing and I hated it and it sucked," said Phaethon. "And I gotted into big trouble. Mommy yelled at me in the car and said I was in deep shit…whatever _that_ means."

"Buddy, do we call people _stupid_?"

"No."

"So, why'd you call something stupid today?"

"Because school is stupid," Phaethon snapped at his father.

"Phaethon, did something happen at school?"

"Well, Theseus won't play with me anymore."

"Do you know why?"

Phaethon shook his head.

"Mr. Aegeus called me over the summer, saying how Theseus was upset because you've been bullying him. Now that's not nice, is it, son?"

Phaethon shook his head.

"So, when you go back to school tomorrow," Helios said in a firm voice, "I want you to go up to Theseus and say you're sorry for being mean to him. Then I want you to play with him at recess. Can you do that, kiddo?"

"Yeah…I guess so."

"Good. Here's half of a cookie. Eat it. Would you like to read a book?"

"Yeah!"

So Helios pulled out _If You Give Dionysus Some Booze_ , and began to read it to Phaethon.

" _If you give Dionysus some booze, he'll ask you to drink with him._

 _If he asks you to drink with him, you'll have to drink the booze with him._

 _If you drink with him, you will be in big trouble because this book was made for kids who shouldn't be drinking in the first place_ …" Helios finished the book with Phaethon on his lap, and then they both went into the kitchen, where Clymene was putting dinner on the plate.

At Theseus' house, the entire family was eating dinner.

"Mommy," said Theseus, "I guess I'll go to school tomorrow."

"That a boy!" Aethra said proudly, eating a carrot.

"And can I have a friend over to play this weekend?"

"Sure," said Aegeus. "Which friend would you like?"

"Can I have Atalanta over?"

Aethra and Aegeus looked at each other.

"Atalanta's a girl," said Aegeus. "You sure you're ready for a girl to come over?"

"Yeah. She's crazy hyper, like me."

"Okay," said Aethra. "I guess we can talk about it tomorrow with Mr. Iasus."

"Cool!" Theseus pushed his plate away. "I'm done. Can I go run outside?"

"Sure," said Aegeus. "I'll come out with you and we can play catch."

 **So, I think the next couple of chapters will be focused on playdates. By now, this schedule's getting pretty monotonous, so we'll see where the next chapters take us! PLEASE REVIEW! :)**


	20. Chapter 19: Adventures in Babysitting

**It is now the end of the first week of school at Ms. Hecate's Academy. In case you're wondering about the rest of the electives, on Wednesdays they have art (with Medusa and Arachne), Thursdays, they have Greek Mythology (with Athena and Persephone), and on Fridays they have Game Day (with Maia and Demeter). Thanks for all your reviews! I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.**

 **CHAPTER 19**

It was the end of the first week of school (in case you forgot to read the bold stuff at the top of the screen). For some reason, some of the parents had decided to go out to dinner together, so they left their kids in the care of some other people.

It was Friday afternoon, and Aeson had just picked up Jason from school. Jason had had a wonderful week, learning some new numbers, colors, and other stuff that he should've remembered from last year. During electives time, the class had gone to see Ms. Maia and Ms. Demeter in the gym for Game Day.

Game Day was awesome, because all the kids got their second gym class in for the week. Ms. Maia was sweet, but everyone got annoyed with Ms. Demeter quickly.

That afternoon, the learning objective during electives time was taking turns. So, the kids played two games: Duck, Duck, Goose, and Mother May I.

Duck, Duck, Goose (or as it's called _God, God, Titan_ ) went very well. The kids were extremely confused with Mother May I.

"Are there any questions?" asked Ms. Maia. "I'll be the mother first. Atalanta, why don't you start?"

"I gots a question," said Hebe. "What if Fructus is the mother?"

"Well," Ms. Maia said, "we'll just play Father May I."

Atalanta went first. "Mother may I take three big steps forward?"

"No. You may take one big step and one baby step," said Ms. Maia.

Anyway, Jason loved that game so much that he was telling Aeson all about it.

"And if we reach Ms. Maia, we gets to be the new mother," Jason said happily.

"I love that game," said Aeson as he unlocked the garage door. "So, buddy, Daddy's going out to dinner tomorrow night, so you're going to have a babysitter."

"Who is it?" asked Jason as he put his stuff by the door and kicked his shoes off.

"You'll be going to Phaethon's house to play and Ms. Clymene's going to watch you."

"Ooh, fun!" said Jason. He liked Phaethon…most of the time.

Aeson chuckled and gave Jason a plate of grapes.

At Hebe's house, Hebe was running around the playroom while our omniscient friend Zeus was watching an Olympian debate on TV.

"Dammit," said Zeus, "Hebe, shut up!"

"You're stupid," said Hebe. "You gots a stupid beard, a stupid butt, a stupid—"

"Good thing we're leaving you with Uncle Hades tomorrow," snapped Zeus. "He'll be taking care of you while Mommy and Daddy hang out with Aunt Demeter and Uncle Trip."

The following evening, the babysitters were all put into place and the kids were at each other's houses when things got started.

Jason and Aeson rang the doorbell to Phaethon's house. Immediately, Helios opened the door. "Hey, dudes," he said, smiling. "Phaethon's in his playroom taking a nap."

Sure enough, Phaethon _was_ in his playroom taking a nap. Some violent show was on TV, and Helios quickly changed it so that Jason wouldn't hear all the dudes on the TV calling each other mean things.

"Well," said Aeson, "I'd better head out. Thanks for watching him."

"No problem," said Helios. "Have fun at the wherever you're going."

As soon as Aeson left, Bellerophon arrived with Eurynome.

"He's a little cranky," Eurynome explained as she dragged her son inside. "So…just warning you."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll wake up once we start playing fun games," said Clymene. "Bellerophon, would you like a cookie?"

"Ooh, Bellerophon," said Eurynome, "you _love_ sugar cookies!"

"Mommy, I wants to stay home with you," Bellerophon said, beginning to cry.

"Oh, honey," Eurynome said, picking up Bellerophon. "Mrs. Clymene said you'll be playing some fun games."

Just then, Jason and Phaethon ran out of the playroom and Phaethon tackled Bellerophon in a hug.

"Get off!" screamed Bellerophon. "When Cinnamon's out of the vet's office tomorrow, I'll have him bite you!"

"Oh, Cinnamon ate something funny last night and now he's at the vet's," explained Eurynome. "He'll just be there overnight. No big deal."

"We'll have a good time," said Clymene. "Have fun tonight!"

"We will," said Glaucus.

"How'd _you_ get here?" demanded his wife.

"Uh…I walked," Glaucus replied. "Bye, buddy."

"Bedtime?" asked Clymene. "Phaethon's is eight-thirty on Saturdays."

"Same," said Eurynome. She gave her son a peck on the cheek and waved to the other kids. A few moments later, the car pulled out of the driveway.

Meanwhile, the doorbell rang at Theseus' house. Perseus, Andromeda, and Theseus were all chilling out in the living room, while their parents had a quick drink before they went out to dinner.

"Mommy," said Perseus, "who's that?"

Aegeus ran to the door, just in time to see Uncle Polydectes standing there. "Guys, your sitter's here!"

Polydectes walked into the house (yeah, did you _really_ think he'd never show up again?). He walked into the kitchen, puckered his lips at Danaë, and sat down at the table.

The kids—at this point—were under the table by their parents' feet.

"Guys," Perseus whispered, "we have to get rid of him."

Theseus was playing with Aethra's high-heeled shoes (he liked the pretty noises they made, so he called them _clicky shoes_ ). "We can't. Mommy says we have to be big kids and deal with that creep."

"Kids, say hello," Cepheus called, lifting the table cloth.

Before they left, the parents gave Uncle P the rules.

"Make sure you give Theseus his medicine," said Aegeus. "He'll refuse, so you need to force it down."

"Okay," said Uncle P.

"Make sure Andromeda's got her blanket, otherwise she won't be able to sleep," said Cepheus.

"Okay," said Uncle P.

"And have Perseus asleep by ten, or I'll hurt you," said Dictys.

"Okay, Dick."

Dictys gave Polydectes a nasty look. "Quit calling me _Dick_."

"Whatever you say, Dick."

The kids giggled.

"Be quiet," snapped Dictys.

"Shall we go?" said Cassiopeia.

"Yes," said Danaë.

The kids gave their parents hugs and kisses, then watched as their cars pulled out of the driveway.

But they were still stuck with Uncle P for the night.

Uncle P looked at Theseus. "Want your drugs now?"

"No," snarled Theseus. "I take them with dinner. C'mon, guys, let's go play in my playroom."

As the kids were walking by Uncle P, they each gave him a slap on the face.

When they got into Theseus' playroom, the kids began to play with Theseus' educational toys (like his numbers game and his letters game). Aegeus had taught Theseus how to work the CD player so that he could dance and sing to the songs the kindergarten music class was doing.

So, Theseus put on a song called "Happy Shapies", and they all danced and sang to it…until some jackass called Uncle P walked into the room.

"First," said Uncle P, "this song is absolutely terrible. You kids should learn the 'How to Make Babies' song. Secondly, it's almost time for dinner. I just figured out how to work the oven, so now you kids can eat pizza." He left the room.

Andromeda stared at her friends. "Guys, um…I gotta go pee." And she ran out of the room.

Theseus and Perseus stared at each other, till Perseus got an idea. "Let's steal Uncle P's phone!"

"Okay. I'm good at doing that stuff," said Theseus.

"But don't do it in real life, 'cause that's not nice," said Perseus. Preschool and a week's worth of kindergarten was finally paying off!

Uncle P cut two sausage pizzas and gave the kids each a piece. "So," he said, "who wants to play outside after dinner?"

"After dinner at my house," said Andromeda, "we eat dessert right away. And then, if it's a school night, I play for a bit. Then I go upstairs in my big-girl princess bed and go night-night."

"What about you other annoying, little children?" asked Uncle P.

Theseus raised his hand.

"Yes, Theseus?" asked Uncle P.

"After we eat dinner, I run around outside till I get bored."

"Oh, yeah, here's your medicine."

Uncle P handed Theseus the cup full of medicine. Theseus pinched his nose and swallowed the awful stuff. Then he handed the cup back to Uncle P.

There was a knock on the door.

"Hey, Acrisius!" yelled Polydectes. "C'mon in. Thanks for helping me babysit these little pieces of crap."

"No problem," said Acrisius. "Ah…little children that we get to torture."

Andromeda hid behind the boys.

"We'll protect you," said Theseus.

"Time for recess," Acrisius decided. "GO RUN OUTSIDE!"

Theseus led everyone to his playset, where he began to swing. Perseus decided to explore the slide. Andromeda, on the other hand, didn't feel like running around after she ate. So, she played in the sandbox until Uncle P and Acrisius came over to the playset.

"Have you kids, by chance, heard of the Mad Scarecrow?" Uncle P asked.

"What's the Mad Scarecrow?" asked Andromeda, mildly interested.

"Well, my dear," said Uncle P, "the Mad Scarecrow is a scarecrow that walks around this particular neighborhood and eats little children named Andromeda."

"But…but that's _my_ name," said Andromeda, trembling.

"Does he eat anyone else?" demanded Perseus, who was sitting on the slide.

"Oh, yeah, he eats kids named Perseus and Theseus, too," said Grandpa A.

"That's just a myth," said Theseus.

"You're a myth," said Acrisius.

"Well, so are you," snapped Theseus.

"Children," Uncle P said, " _please_. Anyway, he decided to come out early tonight, and he's hunting all three of you down. So, if you wanna live, I'd suggest getting inside now or he'll eat you."

Andromeda ran to Perseus, who was on the ground by now. Theseus ran to them, and the three of them followed the two storytellers inside.

"So if you kids hide in the playroom," said Uncle P, "there's no way in hell he'll be able to find you."

The kids ran into the playroom and Uncle P shut the door. "We're just going to protect the rest of the house."

Acrisius nodded, and they ran to the front door.

"Well, we've got nothing to fear," said Perseus. "I'm the hero now!"

"I'm also the hero," said Theseus.

"Sure," said Perseus. "We'll be okay, Princess Andromeda."

But Andromeda wasn't listening; she was too preoccupied with the pretty pink creatures on TV.

Then there was a knock on the door.

"Who's there?" asked Theseus.

"The Mad Scarecrow," said a raspy voice.

"Quick, guys," said Theseus. "Get behind the TV. I'll lock the door."

Theseus locked the door to his playroom while Perseus led Andromeda behind the TV.

"Children," said the Mad Scarecrow's voice, "don't worry. I'm not gonna eat you."

"Bullshit!" yelled Perseus.

That's when he heard the familiar _tsk-tsk_ noise Uncle P made when Perseus said something naughty.

Outside of the room, Polydectes and Acrisius smirked at each other. Acrisius pulled out a key and unlocked the door.

"Whoa," said Uncle P, "where'd you get those keys?"

"I snooped through Aegeus' stuff," said Acrisius. "No wonder everyone hates me."

"I don't hate you," Polydectes said. "You're my friend."

"Okay?"

Polydectes, who was now wearing a pair of overalls over a plaid shirt, opened the door and stepped into the room. "Oh, children," he called sweetly, "who wants a cookie?"

Behind the TV, Andromeda opened her mouth to yell, "I do!" But Perseus squeezed her hand and she closed it again.

"Come, little children," sang Polydectes, "the time's come to play…here in my garden of shadows."

"Dude, quit singing that song from _Hocus Pocus_ ," snapped Acrisius.

"But I like that movie," said Polydectes.

"Guys," whispered Perseus, "we should run up to Theseus' room."

"My room's a mess," said Theseus. "Plus I'm not supposed to bring girls up there."

"But this stuff's okay," said Perseus. "Plus I gotta go pee…and if we don't get out of here now, I'll have an accident, and then Ms. Aethra will be pissed."

"We _did_ leave them in here, right?" asked Polydectes.

"Yeah," said Acrisius. "Maybe they ran out of the window."

"Dude, there's no windows in here," said Polydectes. "Let's go look in the living room. Maybe they ran out while I was opening the door."

So the ass-faces left the room, leaving the door open.

"Now," hissed Theseus. "Follow me."

He climbed out from behind the TV and led his friends through the kitchen, into the dining room, and up the stairs. Unfortunately, the third stair squeaked.

Polydectes and Acrisius were in the living room when they heard the squeak.

"Oh," Acrisius smirked, "I know where they are."

"Really, 'cause I don't see anything," said Polydectes, looking confused.

"Dude, they ran upstairs," Acrisius whispered. "C'mon. This way."

The three kindergarteners were huddling inside of Theseus' closet, trying to catch their breaths.

"Well," said Perseus, "I guess this is goodbye."

"But they didn't get us yet," said Theseus. "It's okay. I know a bit about camping. We'll stay in here until we become big kids. Then, when the time comes, we'll come out and tell our parents what happened."

"Yeah," said Andromeda. "Good plan. But how are we supposed to eat?"

"We'll eat my clothes first," said Theseus. "Then when my closet's empty, we'll eat you."

"Why me?"

"I dunno," said Theseus. "Sorry. That sounded way better inside my head."

That's when there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Theseus yelled.

"It's…um…it's the pizza man," said a voice. "Did you order a large pepperoni and sausage pizza?"

"No," said Theseus. "Mommy found out I was making prank calls on my pretend phone, so she says I can't call anyone till I'm seven."

"Please open the door, sir," said the voice.

Theseus, who was as gullible as his two friends were, opened the door. "Oh, you're not the pizza man."

"Nope," said Acrisius. He was holding an empty pizza box from the recycling bin. "Who wants dessert?"

"Me," said the kids.

"Excellent. Come downstairs!"

Perseus suddenly remembered he had to pee, so he rushed into the bathroom, did his business, and came downstairs.

Uncle P was opening a box of cookies and putting them onto plates for the kids. "Here, kiddos," he said. "Don't worry. I murdered the scarecrow."

"Uncle P, everyone knew it was you," snapped Perseus.

"Shut up," snapped Uncle P. "Let me have my moment."

Just then the phone rang.

"Hello?" said Uncle P. "Hey, Aethra. Yeah, everything's fine here. Yes, he took his drugs. Okay, I'll do that. Bye." He turned to the kids. "Children, it's now the magic hour."

"What?" asked Andromeda.

"It's time for…BED!" Uncle P yelled dramatically.

"No," snarled the kids.

"I don't wanna go to sleep yet," snarled Andromeda.

"I'm the adult," said Uncle P calmly, "and what I say goes. It's bedtime now, children."

"I hate you, Uncle P," snapped Perseus. "And I hate you, too, Grandpa A."

Uncle P made the _tsk-tsk_ noise. "Kiddo, that wasn't nice. Now let's go upstairs and put your jammies on."

"Dude, there's a girl here," said Acrisius.

"Okay. You take care of Andromeda," said Uncle P. "I'll get these two."

So, they split the kids into rooms. Andromeda and Acrisius went into the bathroom, while Uncle P took charge of Perseus and Theseus in Theseus' room.

"Whose jammies are first?" asked Uncle P. "I've got a pair with fish on them, and a pair with M&Ms on them."

"The M&Ms are mine," said Theseus, taking off his clothes until he was completely naked in front of these two completely unrelated people.

Perseus thought—since Theseus was doing it—he should do it, too. And Uncle P had never felt so awkward in his life, staring at these two naked kids.

Uncle P had seen Perseus naked before, because he was required to give Perseus a bath every time he babysat. But he'd never seen Theseus naked before, so that was plain weird.

"Theseus," said Perseus as Uncle P put the fishy shirt on him, "my mommy says my butt's cute."

"My mommy says that, too," said Theseus, lifting his arms up for Uncle P, who was about to put the chocolate shirt on him.

"You two are sick," said Uncle P.

"We're not sick," said Perseus. "Sick people gots tempa-churs."

"Yeah. And sick people puke," said Theseus.

Uncle P rolled his eyes and sighed. "You two are idiots."

"Takes one to know one," said Theseus, skipping around the room.

This made Perseus double over with laughter. Uncle P considered having Acrisius run him over with a car.

There was a knock on the door, and Andromeda ran into the room, dressed in a pink, sparkly pair of sweatpants and a pink shirt with a gold crown on it.

After the ass-faces helped the kids brush their teeth, it was finally time to put them to bed. Andromeda had gotten the guest room, while Perseus got the floor space next to Theseus' bed.

"Goodnight, kiddos," said Uncle P. "See you later."

"Uncle P," said Perseus, "remember that time I was at your house?"

"Yes."

"Well, I spilled my grape juice on the carpet in your bathroom."

"Which one?"

"The carpet that looks like a heart with my mommy's name on it in fancy, curly-cue letters."

"Shut up, stupid."

After the kids were put to bed, Polydectes and Acrisius sat on the couch in the living room, drinking beers.

"When will they be home?" asked Acrisius. "I'm so bored."

"Not till after midnight," said Polydectes. "They went to see an opera after dinner, too."

"Which one?"

"Like I care."

"Did they look nice when they left?"

"I guess so. Your daughter is so gorgeous," said Polydectes. "I want her."

"No," Acrisius said firmly. "Watch the boring cooking show that Demeter took the time to produce."

After an hour of Demeter's TV lectures about how to incorporate oatmeal into a healthy diet, Polydectes stood up. "Screw this," he said. "They're asleep, so it's not like they're gonna go anywhere. C'mon, Acrisius. Let's go to the Bacchus Bar."

Acrisius agreed. "Okay," he said.

After throwing away their beer bottles, Acrisius and Polydectes locked the door to the house, got into Acrisius' car, and headed off to the bar for some late-night partying.

And now, the husbands were dragging their tired wives back to their cars.

"We'll see you back there," said Aegeus as he led Aethra to their car.

"Okay," said Cepheus, pulling Cassiopeia along.

"I hate my brother," said Dictys, who was basically carrying Danaë.

When they all got back to Theseus' house, Aegeus opened the garage door. "Where's Polydectes?"

"Daddy?"

Andromeda came flying down the stairs. "Daddy, I had a nightmare about the Mad Scarecrow."

"What's that?" Cepheus asked, picking up his daughter.

"He's a scarecrow who eats kids named Andromeda, Perseus, and Theseus," said Andromeda. "Mr. P said so."

"Where's Mr. P?" asked Aethra.

"Mr. P's not here," said Theseus, also coming down the stairs.

That's when Aegeus saw the note on the table.

 _Dear Terrible People:_

 _We, Polydectes and Acrisius, have gone drinking at the Bacchus Bar and won't be back. Your kids are idiots._

 _Love and kisses,_

 _P-Man and A-Man_

 _PS – Tell your kids that the Mad Scarecrow will get them if they don't eat their vegetables_.

"Well," said Dictys awkwardly, "I think we'll head out." By this point, Perseus had come down the stairs and was holding his fish pillow.

Andromeda was in tears by now. "Don't let the Mad Scarecrow get me."

"We won't let him, honey," said Cassiopeia. "He's just pretend. Do you want your blanky?"

"Uh-huh," Andromeda hiccupped.

"Well, I wish I could thank you guys for watching him," said Dictys, "but I can't."

Aegeus laughed. "No problem. Next time, _we'll_ be the ones who watch them, not Polydectes and Acrisius."

The mothers looked at each other.

"Okay," Aethra decided. "Theseus, give Mommy a kiss goodnight, and go upstairs to bed."

 **PHAETHON'S HOUSE**

When we last left them, Bellerophon was having an emotional breakdown about his dog Cinnamon.

Even after Eurynome and Glaucus drove off, Bellerophon was still in tears.

"Dude," said Phaethon, "stop crying. We're going to play fun games with my mommy."

"I don't want to play games right now," said Bellerophon.

All three boys were sitting on their butts in the living room, talking to each other while Clymene went to find a fun game that involved social skills (like taking turns and stuff).

Once Clymene found a game, she had everyone sit in a circle and she opened the game's box. "Kids, this is a game called Candyland," she said gently. "Does everyone know how to play?"

Jason knew how to play, because he played Candyland all the time with Aeson at home. Bellerophon knew how to play it because he played it a few times with Phaethon. So, of course, Phaethon knew how to play.

"Excellent," Clymene said. "Jason, how about you start?"

Jason flipped over a card, and the game commenced.

After they played Candyland for a while, Clymene headed for the oven to make the kids some pizza. She put on the TV for the kids to watch, and Helios' favorite movie— _A Sh*t-Ton of Fun_ —came on.

"Oh…" Clymene squealed. She grabbed the remote from Phaethon's hand. "No, Phaethon. This isn't a movie for boys your age."

"Mommy, I was watching these people getting wasted!"

"Phaethon," Clymene said firmly, "stop it or everyone's going home and you get to go sit in your room for a timeout."

Phaethon hung his blond head.

"Please watch an appropriate movie," said Clymene, handing Phaethon a huge box of kids' DVDs.

Phaethon looked at the DVD he came across and ran over to his mother. "Mommy, can we watch this one?"

Clymene looked at the DVD, which read _Curious George Goes to Hell_. "Who bought you _this_ one?"

"Maybe Daddy did."

Clymene bolted upstairs, where Helios was playing with the iButtons app on his phone. "HELIOS!" she yelled at him.

"What, babe?"

"What is THIS?"

Helios looked at the DVD, then started laughing. "So, _that's_ where it went! Clymene, babe, Glaucus and I were bored one night, so we made this movie. I must've accidentally put it into Phaethon's DVD box."

"And I would prefer that it would stay _out_ of his DVD box," she snapped. "And stop playing with your phone."

Helios pressed a button that produced a fart noise.

"That's it," snapped Clymene. "Gimme the phone!"

Meanwhile, Phaethon, Bellerophon, and Jason continued to rummage through the movies, until Bellerophon found something good. " _Magical Myths_. That sounds good."

"How can you read that?" asked Jason.

"Because I have this movie at my house," said Bellerophon, handing the movie to Phaethon.

Phaethon opened the DVD player, shoved the disk inside it, and pressed PLAY. Immediately, the DVD menu came up, showing a Greek god (Zeus?) pointing a lightning bolt at the words PLAY MOVIE.

Phaethon pressed PLAY again and the movie began.

But the movie didn't last too long. About halfway through, Phaethon got out a box of blocks, and the boys started building a city together.

"What're you kids doing in there?" asked Clymene as she took the pizza out of the oven.

"We're making a city," said Bellerophon. "It's called Cinnamon Town."

"That's a nice name, honey," said Clymene. "Did you make it up all by yourself?"

"Yep," Bellerophon replied.

"Awesome," said Clymene. "Well, boys, it's time for dinner."

Jason, Bellerophon, and Phaethon ran to the table, where Clymene put down three plates. All three of them must've been starving, because they started eating right away.

"My gods," said Helios, walking into the kitchen for dinner, too. "You boys must be _starving_."

Phaethon burped. "Mm-hmm," he replied happily.

"Phaethon," Clymene scolded, "what did I tell you about burping at the table?"

"Then how come Theseus can do it, but I can't?"

"Because Theseus' mommy and daddy didn't raise him right," said Helios.

Clymene gritted her teeth. "Kids, look out the window!"

When all the kids had their backs turned, Clymene whacked Helios across the face.

"Ms. Clymene," said Jason, "thank you for dinner."

"Yeah, Ms. Clymene. Thanks for dinner," Bellerophon echoed.

"I said sausage," snarled Phaethon.

"Go sit in your room," snapped Clymene.

Helios dragged Phaethon up to his room, where they had a little father-son bonding time (Helios yelled at him).

"Well," said Clymene as she began to clear the table, "it's playtime for a bit before bedtime."

"Ms. Clymene," said Bellerophon, "can we go see Cinnamon?"

"Not tonight, dear," said Clymene. "Oh, honey, don't cry. Cinnamon just ate something yucky last night. He's just got an upset stomach. He'll be just fine."

Bellerophon wiped his nose as Clymene gave him a hug.

"Do you want to make Cinnamon a get-well card?" asked Clymene.

"Ye-yes," Bellerophon hiccupped.

So, Clymene smiled at him, gave him another hug, and ran off to get some paper and some crayons so the kids could draw.

By now, Phaethon could color and draw with his friends (after, and only after, he said sorry to Clymene). He did, they made up, and the night went on.

When it was time for bed, the kids went up to Phaethon's room, Helios and Clymene got them into their pajamas, and helped them into bed.

"Goodnight, kids," said Clymene, giving Phaethon a kiss on the cheek.

Phaethon wiped the kiss off. "Mommy, we forgot to brush our teeth."

"I think it'll be okay if we skipped a night," said Clymene, shutting off the light. "And I'll be up in a bit to check to see if you're asleep…Phaethon."

Once Clymene shut the door, Phaethon turned on his ceiling light and crawled under his bed. "Guys, look." He held up some Ancient Greek action figures.

"Dude, we're 'upposed to go to bed now," said Bellerophon.

"But I wanna play," Phaethon whined.

From downstairs, Helios yelled, "Phaethon, dude! Go to bed!"

Phaethon stuck his tongue out at the door, put the action figures away, and the three kids went to sleep.

Downstairs, Clymene and Helios were watching _Gods of Egypt_ , when there was a soft knock at the door. When Helios opened it, Aeson was standing there. "Hey," he said quietly. "Jason asleep?"

"Yes," said Clymene, and she led Aeson upstairs.

"Jason," Aeson said, "I'm back. Ready to go home?"

Jason must've been tired because he was _way_ out of it. Aeson sighed happily, picked up his son, thanked Clymene and Helios, and put Jason into his car seat.

Meanwhile, Eurynome and Glaucus had just arrived to pick up Bellerophon. Clymene informed them that Bellerophon was sad for part of night over Cinnamon, so Eurynome and Glaucus apologized for their son's behavior and took Bellerophon home.

Phaethon was still sleeping, so Clymene shut the door and headed back downstairs to make coffee for the next day.

 **MAKARIA'S HOUSE**

"Well," said Zeus, "we should probably get going. Let's go, Hera. I don't want to miss Happy Hour at the bar."

"Zeus, that's only during the week," Demeter replied.

"So? If it gets me away from my 'precious' daughter, I think we should leave…right… _now_."

Zeus, Hera, Demeter, and Triptolemus all left the Palace of Hades. Hades, who was watching the kids because Persephone was still at work, looked at them with disgust.

Fructus raised his hand. "Uncle Hades? Do these overalls make my ass look fat?"

"Whatever your mother puts you in," Hades said calmly, "it'll always make you look fat."

"Uncle Hades?" asked Hebe. "What are boobs?"

"Look on the Internet," said Hades, smirking. "Or ask your mother."

"Mommy won't tell me because she said that it's a secret."

"Daddy?" said Makaria. "Can we go to the park and play?"

"No, dear. The sun is outside now, so that means that Daddy can't be outside because Daddy has a sun allergies."

"Let's play a game," suggested Hebe. "Let's play school. I'll be Ms. Rhea."

"Can I be Ms. Leto?" asked Makaria.

"Sure," Hebe replied, smiling at her cousin/classmate. "Good morning, everyone. Please sit on the carpet."

Hades—who didn't have a say in the fun anymore—plopped down on the floor next to Fructus. Fructus began playing with the buttons on his overalls.

Hades raised his hand. "Ms. Rhea? I have something to share with the one other kid in class."

"Go ahead, Hades," said Hebe.

"Fructus, those overalls make you look gay," said Hades.

"Oh, yeah? Well, you look like you just died," Fructus shot back.

"I think we should separate them," said Makaria.

"Yeah," said Hebe. "Hades, go play in the corner. Fructus, go sit on the couch and look at a book. You guys can't play together till you give each other hugs and say you're sorry…because that's the rule."

"Well, screw that," said Hades. "That's it. I'm not playing with you children anymore."

Hades got up and ran off to his study after putting a movie in for the kids to keep them occupied while Hades did death stuff.

When Persephone got home from work, she snapped her fingers and made a turkey. Then she made some mashed potatoes and gravy. Then she made a wonderful pumpkin pie. By that time, the kids kept coming into the kitchen to see where that lovely smell was coming from.

Persephone handed the kids their food and let them sit in front of the TV while they finished _Hercules_.

Finally, Hades came out of his study and ran into the kitchen. "Persephone, these kids are stupid…except Makaria because I'm her father and stuff."

"Hades, you need to accept them for who they are," Persephone nagged. "Would my hubby like some pie?"

"Yeah," Hades said, a smile playing across his lips. "After they're in bed, can we do a little somethin'-somethin'?"

"No," snapped Persephone.

"Okay." Hades hung his head and picked up his fork. "I understand what it's like to not be loved by my own wife."

 **ARES' HOUSE**

"Punks!" yelled Ares.

His sons' faces appeared over the balcony.

"I'm off to war camp! I'll be home next week. Be good for your mother, 'cause if I hear anything bad, I'll have to whoop your asses."

"'Kay, Dad!" they recited in unison.

Ares and Aphrodite made out for exactly ten minutes. Then Ares got in the car and headed off to war camp.

The doorbell rang. Aphrodite went to get it, hoping Ares had forgotten something (they hadn't done it in twenty minutes). To Aphrodite's dismay, however, Eros, Psyche, and Hedone were standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Mom," said Eros, kissing his mother on the cheek. "Mm…are you wearing a new perfume?"

"Yes," snapped Aphrodite. "It's called Mountain Dew."

"For real?" Eros said.

"No. I was drinking Mountain Dew and I spilled it all over my new dress."

Psyche turned her laugh into a nasty-sounding cough.

"Well, we're here for dinner," said Eros.

"Yeah? So?" Aphrodite demanded.

"Well, aren't you gonna invite us in?" asked Eros.

"No," said Aphrodite. "Why would I do _that_?"

Eros was getting pissed, so he shoved his mother out of the way, leading Psyche and Hedone into the kitchen.

While Aphrodite stood fuming in the doorway, the twins came running down the stairs.

"Hedone!" Deimos said happily. "Don't worry. Dad's not here to kill you. He won't do that till next time."

"Deimos, stop talking," snapped Aphrodite.

"Mommy, I don't feel good," said Hedone.

"She's not feeling well, Eros," said Psyche, who was hoping Hedone would say that because she and Aphrodite _hated_ each other.

"What's wrong, princess?" Eros asked his daughter.

"My head hurts because Grandma's perfume makes it hurt."

"Hedone, Grandma gives me headaches, too," said Psyche.

This time, Eros turned his laughter into a nasty cough.

"Well," said Psyche, "I think we'll be leaving now."

"Good," said Aphrodite. "I hate you people."

"I'm your kid…maybe," Eros reminded her.

"You suck," snapped Aphrodite.

"You're a bitch," said Eros.

"Thank you," said Aphrodite, smiling.

After Eros dragged Psyche and Hedone back home, Aphrodite rounded on her sons. "Get me my phone so I can call Daddy. I want to do it with him!"

 **ATALANTA'S HOUSE**

"Okay, Cyrene," said Hypseus. "While we're here, don't take the knives out and run with them because…"

"…it's dangerous," Cyrene said flatly. "I'm not stupid, Daddy."

Iasus opened the door. "Hey, guys. Atalanta! Cyrene's here!"

Atalanta came bounding down the stairs with a sleeveless t-shirt on, and hugged Cyrene. "Hey," she said. "C'mon! I just got a new beanbag chair in my room!"

Meanwhile, Hypseus and Iasus went downstairs for a few drinks before the pizza came.

An hour later, the doorbell rang. Hermes the pizza man came into the house. "Howdy-doo," he said in a fake accent. "That'll be—"

"Speak English," snapped Hypseus.

"Sorry," said Hermes. "That'll be twenty-one dollars."

Iasus handed him the money and Hermes left them with the pizzas. "Dinner's here, girls!"

Cyrene and Atalanta came bounding into the kitchen, and they sat down at the table.

"So, girls," said Hypseus, "we'll give you your pizza, then we'll be going in the basement to watch some dirty movie. Please give me your word you won't come down and bother us."

"Okay, Daddy," said Cyrene. So, while the girls began to eat their pizza, Hypseus and Iasus ran downstairs, where they turned up their movie really loud.

"What's that word mean?" asked Atalanta. They were sitting by the door to the basement. They'd just heard the guy on the movie saying _hell_ a lot.

"I dunno," said Cyrene. "Next time we see Makaria, we should ask."

"Yeah," Atalanta agreed. "Well, wanna go outside and play?"

"Sure!"

So, Cyrene and Atalanta headed outside onto the trampoline.

"Girls?"

The girls turned to see Ms. Rhea standing at the gate.

"Ms. Rhea!" Atalanta yelled, getting off the trampoline and running for her teacher. Cyrene got off as well and ran to Ms. Rhea.

"Where are your daddies?" asked Ms. Rhea.

"They're watching a bad movie downstairs," said Cyrene. "And they turned it up really loud so we could enjoy it, too!"

"Oh," said Ms. Rhea. "You two should be supervised when you're out here by yourselves."

The girls looked at their teacher.

Ms. Rhea eventually came into the yard and watched the girls bounce for a while, just to make sure that they weren't getting hurt on the trampoline.

Ms. Rhea left shortly after that because Iasus and Hypseus got bored with their movie.

"Did you two have a nice time playing together?" Hypseus said.

"Yeah," Cyrene said as they pulled into their garage. "Ms. Rhea came over and she watched us for a while."

"She did?"

"Yeah. She said we needed to be watched in case we gets hurt."

"I see," said Hypseus.

MOVING ON!

 **APOLLO'S HOUSE**

It was like any other Saturday night. It was that one night a week when Apollo neglects Eurydice for a long time, and shuts himself up in the living room, where all his instruments were.

Eurydice walked into the room, stopped in front of Apollo, and folded her arms.

"What?" asked Apollo in an annoyed voice.

"Daddy, can you play with me?"

"No," Apollo said. "This is the only night I can ignore you and not feel bad about it. Go play with your overstuffed stuffed animal or something."

" _Please_?" Eurydice begged.

"Orpheus will be here soon," Apollo snapped. "Get out before I glue your butt to the toilet."

"Daddy, why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you," snapped Apollo. "I'm trying to compose a song here, and how can I do that with you begging me to play with you?"

"When I get to school on Monday, Ms. Leto will kick your butt!"

"Shut up!" Apollo yelled at his daughter. "Just shut up for two minutes while I figure out this song!"

"Can I help?"

"No! Go get the door."

For that moment, the doorbell rang and Eurydice ran for the door. "Hi, Orpheus," she said happily. "Hi, Mrs. Calliope. Daddy's being a bad father again."

"Shut up," snarled Apollo. "Hi, guys. Come on in. I didn't plan anything for tonight, so I guess we'll just eat what's in the fridge."

Do you want to know what was in the fridge? Of course you do! In the fridge was some leftover lasagna, rice, beans, and salsa.

Calliope heated up some lasagna while Apollo grabbed his guitar so he could "serenade" everyone while they were eating.

One boring-as-hell song later, Eurydice and Orpheus were both done with their meals and were playing happily in the basement. Apollo "couldn't afford" to have a playroom for his daughter, so she was ordered to run in the basement.

"Here, kids," said Apollo, "I got you some rocks to play with. And here's a box for you so you can play house, and my old drum set that I broke and it doesn't make any noise…and there's rats in it, too. Have fun!"

Orpheus looked at Eurydice. "Wow…"

"Yeah. He sucks."

"Well, I guess we could play pretend," said Orpheus. He pulled out the box and punched a hole into it. "Now, it's a spaceship," he declared happily, getting inside.

"Where are we going?" asked Eurydice.

"We're going to Mars!" yelled Orpheus. "I'll drive, you tell me where to go!"

Once they'd gotten to Mars, Orpheus pretended there was an evil rock monster who liked to throw rocks at kids. So, he was playing the rock monster while Eurydice screamed and ran all around the basement.

Meanwhile, Calliope and Apollo came downstairs to see where all the noise was coming from.

"Daddy," Eurydice panted. "We're playing rock monster."

"Okay. You," Apollo barked at Orpheus. "Time to go home."

 **HERCULES' HOUSE**

Hercules and Iphicles—as usual—were fighting on the floor. Since Hercules was the strong one, he was winning.

"Honey, please get off your brother. You know he's not as strong as you are," Alcmene nagged.

Hercules grunted and rolled off Iphicles, who'd just gotten the wind knocked out of him.

"Dinner's ready," said Alcmene. "Triton should be here—"

 _Ding, dong_ , went the bell.

"—now," said Alcmene. "Eat this meatloaf."

Hercules, as usual, took all the mashed potatoes and left hardly any for Iphicles.

"Share, Herc," said Amphitryon, who was on his laptop, writing his new novel about a talking cheeseburger.

Hercules gave a third of his potatoes to his brother, then began to eat the other two-thirds of it.

"Hi, Triton," said Alcmene. "How about you help us eat this meatloaf."

Triton sat down at the table. Alcmene gave a third of Hercules' potatoes to him, which made Hercules angry. "Those were mine," he snarled at his mother.

"Honey, let Triton have some, too," said Alcmene firmly.

Hercules continued to glare at his mother as he ate the meatloaf and the third of the potatoes.

"Now," said Alcmene, "after dinner, I think we should go play outside for a bit before we make popcorn."

Triton loved popcorn, so he was excited. Iphicles also loved popcorn, unlike Hercules, who'd choked on a kernel one time and decided never to eat popcorn again because of it.

After they finished their dinner, the three boys headed outside while Alcmene and Amphitryon did the dishes together.

Hercules and Iphicles had a trampoline, so they started to bounce on it while Triton headed over to the swings and swung for a while.

"Triton, you should show us your flip!" called Iphicles.

"Oh! Okay," said Triton, running over to the trampoline. "This is called the dolphin flip, and I maded it up all by myself like a big boy!" Triton did a cute, little flip into the air, then came down on his butt. "Sorry," he said apologetically. "That wasn't 'upposed to happen."

"It's okay," said Iphicles.

Hercules, who was a jerk, started laughing at Triton's epic fail. "You suck," he said. "Now, watch _this_!" Hercules did three flips in a row, and landed perfectly on both feet.

"He's a showoff," said Iphicles. "Just ignore him."

Triton felt bad about his failed attempt at flipping, but he didn't let it bother him too much. Instead, he followed Iphicles and Hercules inside to make some yummy popcorn.

As Alcmene made the popcorn, the boys ran around the table, yelling, "Pop!" every time they heard a popping noise (which was, like, all the time).

"Boys! Come to the couch and we'll watch a funny movie," Alcmene called.

"Thanks, Ms. Alcmene," said Triton. "Popcorn's the best thing ever!"

"Yeah, thanks, Mommy," the twins responded.

"You're welcome, boys," said Alcmene. "Mommy's going to go see Daddy about…something. Will you three be okay?"

"Yep," said Hercules.

"Excellent."

Alcmene left them alone, but then the doorbell rang and she ran to get it. "Hi, Poseidon."

"Hey. Triton ready to go yet? Amphitrite and I haven't gotten romantic in a day and we're long overdue," Poseidon said.

"Triton, Daddy's here," called Alcmene.

Triton said goodbye to the twins and went home with Poseidon.

 **MONDAY MORNING AT SCHOOL**

"Did everyone have a nice weekend?" asked Ms. Rhea.

"Yes," the class said tiredly.

"Very good," said Ms. Rhea. "Let's go over our schedule today, class. First, we'll be doing the calendar and weather. Then, it's Ms. Leto's turn to do story time. After that, we'll be learning about the letter A."

"What's for lunch?" Hebe asked.

"I'm not sure, dear," said Ms. Rhea. "But I bet it'll be delicious! Now, if everyone is ready…Hebe, how about you come and help me with the calendar and the weather."

 **Phew…all done! I'm working on the next chapter, too. I hope everyone had a nice holiday and all that fun stuff. Sorry it took me so long, though!**


	21. Chapter 20: Dots!

**Okay, lovely readers! Welcome back to Ms. Hecate's Academy! DISCLAIMER: NOTHING SHALL EVER BE OWNED BY ME…AW! At any rate, sorry for not updating for a long time. Icy had tests, holiday stuff, and New Year's stuff…but now Icy has returned.**

 **I got some of this stuff from Mayo Clinic, so they get credit, too! I STILL OWN NOTHING!**

 **CHAPTER 20**

It was the day before Halloween (which fell on a Friday that year). For their elective today, the kids were all going to their Greek mythology class in their old classroom.

"When you're done coloring the letter L," said Ms. Leto, "you can give it to me and then put your coats on so we can go play outside."

"I hate coloring," said Phaethon, who was having attitude problems lately. In fact, he was just as bad as Theseus when Theseus' medicine wasn't working.

"Phaethon, remember our rules?" asked Ms. Rhea sternly. "If you don't behave, I'm going to call your mother."

Phaethon finished coloring his blue L, then gave it to Ms. Rhea. Then he ran to his cubby to get his coat on.

"Ms. Rhea," said Hebe, "can you help me zip up my coat?"

"Sweetheart, how about _you_ try it?" said Ms. Rhea.

As Ms. Rhea expected, Hebe threw a _horrible_ temper tantrum, one that the dead people on Pluto could hear! Everybody in the class stopped what they were doing and stared at the goddess of youth.

Andromeda and Perseus looked at each other. Atalanta and Theseus (who were now madly in love with each other) ran to each other. And poor Fructus had to watch his girlfriend's meltdown because he had no idea what to do about it.

"Hebe," Ms. Rhea said loudly so Hebe could hear her, "honey, I just asked you to try it. If you can't do it, I will help you, but I'd like you to try it by yourself first."

Here's the thing: Hebe had been spoiled rotten by Hera, because if Hebe asked Hera for something, Hera would oblige. So, Hebe wasn't used to this whole "try it yourself like a big girl first" type of thing.

"NO!" yelled Hebe.

"Oh," said Ms. Leto, snapping her fingers, "did she take her anxiety meds this morning?"

"Not sure," said Ms. Rhea, clearly getting frustrated with Hebe. "Hebe, knock it off right now!"

Hebe hit Ms. Rhea on the arm.

"Ms. Leto, call Ms. Gaea down here and take the kids outside," Ms. Rhea ordered her assistant.

So, Ms. Gaea was sitting in her office, bored as hell, when her phone rang. "Hello?" she said sleepily.

"Gaea, it's Leto. Hebe's having a horrible meltdown, so can you come down here and help?"

"Absolutely," said Gaea. "I'll be right there."

When Ms. Gaea came into the classroom, she saw Ms. Rhea looking down at Hebe as Hebe threw a temper tantrum. Ms. Leto, on the other hand, had just put a hat on Eurydice's head, and was attempting to lead the kids outside for recess.

"Ms. Rhea, I've got this," said Ms. Gaea. She went to Hebe and stood her up. "Hebe, honey, why are you throwing a temper tantrum?"

"Ms. Rhea won't help me zip up my coat!" Hebe yelled.

"I think she'd love to help you, dear," said Ms. Gaea, "but I think you should try it by yourself first. What do _you_ think?"

"No!"

Ms. Gaea looked at Ms. Rhea. "Hebe," she said, turning back to the youth goddess, "if you don't zip up your coat, then you can go sit in the corner for five minutes."

Hebe finally tried to zip her coat, but she couldn't do it. "I can't do it," she sobbed.

"It's okay, honey," said Ms. Gaea. "That's why you're in school, right? You're going to be learning this stuff."

"But how come Fructus can do it?" Hebe snarled.

"Because Fructus probably learned how to do it already," said Ms. Rhea, helping Hebe zip up her coat. "See? All better!"

Once Hebe got outside, she ran to Fructus and started crying on him. Fructus was hanging out with Theseus and Atalanta while they had fun on the tire swing.

"Rhea," said Ms. Leto, "I think we'll have to discuss Hebe's tantrums during parent-teacher conferences."

"I agree," Ms. Rhea said.

Ms. Leto's phone beeped. "Okay, guys! Please line up for lunchtime!"

All the kids knew that Ms. Leto would be pissed if they didn't line up right away. So, the kids all ran to their teachers…except for Orpheus.

"Orpheus," Ms. Leto sang, "c'mere, honey!"

Orpheus put the stick he was holding down in the sandbox, then ran into the back of the line, right behind Jason.

"Hey, Orifice," Jason said, giggling happily.

"After lunch, we'll have naptime," said Ms. Rhea. "And then, we'll be going to mythology."

"Wanna hear a deep, dark secret?" asked Phaethon.

"Sure," said Bellerophon.

"Mythology sucks. When's this stuff ever gonna apply to us in real life?"

After naptime was over, Ms. Leto asked the kids to line up. "I spy with my Titan eye someone wearing yellow."

Orpheus raised his hand.

"Orpheus, you're going to lead us to mythology today," said Ms. Leto.

Orpheus took Ms. Leto's hand and led the class down to the mythology classroom.

"Hi, class," said Ms. Persephone. "Come on in!"

Ms. Leto led the class to the carpet, where everyone sat down. "See you guys in an hour," she said.

Hebe started to cry again.

"Hebe, don't cry, honey," said Ms. Persephone. "We've got a lot to do today."

"Ms. Persephone," said Fructus, raising his little godly hand, "are we doing something fun today?"

"Yes, dear," said Ms. Persephone. "Today, we'll be doing a scary story, since it'll be Halloween tomorrow."

"Yay!" the class cheered.

"So, we'll be doing a little play," said Ms. Persephone. "Does everyone know where Ms. Athena is today?"

The kids shook their heads.

"Ms. Athena has a really bad headache today, so she won't be here," said Ms. Persephone. "Anyway, let's start the play. I need two boys. Perfect! Phaethon and Bellerophon! Come on up!"

Phaethon and Bellerophon came up and stood by Ms. Persephone.

"Now, I'll need another boy and a girl. Excellent! Eurydice and Triton!"

Eurydice and Triton walked over to Ms. Persephone.

"Okay, does anyone know the story of Tantalus?" said Ms. P.

The kids shook their heads.

"Good," Ms. P said. "Now, kids, while I'm telling the story, you're going to do what I'm saying, okay?"

"Okay," said the kids.

"Good. Phaethon, you'll be Tantalus. Bellerophon, you'll be Pelops. Triton, you'll be Zeus. And Eurydice, you'll be Demeter.

"Once there was a king named Tantalus, and the gods loved him very much."

Phaethon stood in front of Triton and Eurydice, who patted him on the head.

"One day, Tantalus was invited to a party on Mount Olympus. During the party, Tantalus ate some yummy food. Then, he asked Zeus if he could take some of the food home with him, but Zeus said no."

Triton shook his head and Phaethon walked sadly back next to Bellerophon.

"Well, Tantalus was very sad about this, so he thought he would get back at the gods."

Phaethon put his finger to his chin, then looked at Bellerophon.

"Tantalus decided he would chop up his son Pelops, and serve him in a stew—yes, Perseus?"

"My Uncle P's an evil dude," said Perseus, "and he says he'll bake _me_ in pies."

"Well, that's mean," said Ms. P. "At any rate, Tantalus cooked up Pelops and put him into a yummy stew. Demeter ate some and felt sick."

Eurydice mimed throwing up.

"Zeus was mad at Tantalus for cutting up his son," said Ms. P, "so he put Tantalus in the Underworld in a river, and he could no longer eat or drink. And that's where we get the word _tantalize_ from."

"Ms. P," said Perseus, "I gots a question."

"Yes, honey?"

"Ms. P, was Pelops okay?"

"Yes. The gods made Pelops all better and brought him back to life."

"Wow," said Phaethon. "Badass."

"Phaethon, can you think of a nicer way to say _cool_?" asked Ms. P.

"No," snapped Phaethon.

Ms. P clucked disapprovingly, and wrote down some notes on Phaethon's behavior. "Okay," she said, turning on the SmartBoard. "Now we'll be watching a movie on Sisyphus." So, she put on a video for the kids to watch.

After mythology, it was reflection time yet again. So, Ms. Leto handed the kids their journals, where they drew pictures of what they did that day. A lot of kids drew a big letter L on their paper, then drew some stuff that started with an L. A lot of kids drew Ms. Leto.

When the parents finally came, Ms. Rhea was telling the class there wouldn't be reflection time tomorrow because it would be taken by the Halloween parade.

"Hera," said Ms. Rhea as she led Hebe over to her mother, "Hebe had a little meltdown."

"Oh, my little baby," said Hera soothingly while Hebe cried on her. "Why were you having a meltdown?"

"I CAN'T ZIP STUFF!" Hebe screamed at her mother.

"Well, it looks like we'll have to learn," said Hera, pulling Hebe away from her classmates.

"Don't forget to wear your costumes tomorrow for the parade!" called Ms. Leto.

While everyone was at home making sure their costumes fit, Phaethon was out with Clymene, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to be.

"Hon, don't you want to be a dragon this year?" asked Clymene.

Phaethon shook his head. "I wanna be a cookie!"

Clymene stopped an employee. "Hi, Piper," she said, looking at the nametag. "Do you have any costumes that look like cookies?"

"Uh…maybe," Piper said uncertainly. "Honestly, the entire store's almost out of stuff."

Clymene folded her arms and looked at her son, who looked like he was on the verge of a fit. "We'll take the dragon costume, Piper."

"Okay. Sorry about that."

After Clymene bought the costume, she looked at her son. "Sorry, honey. But that's what happens when you put off going costume-hunting till the night before."

Phaethon took Clymene's hand as they headed back to the car. He was looking at the ground.

"Tell you what," said Clymene. "Let's go buy some Halloween candy."

The following morning, all the kids were sitting on the carpet in front of Ms. Rhea. Ms. Rhea was in a butterfly costume, while Ms. Leto was in a bumblebee costume.

Phaethon looked at Bellerophon and Jason. "Guys, I couldn't find a cookie costume last night. So now I have to wear this silly dragon costume."

"Phaethon, your costume looks lovely," said Ms. Leto. "Who wants to share what they are?"

Atalanta raised her hand. "I'm a pizza slice!"

"I'm a princess!" said Andromeda proudly.

"You were a princess _last_ year," Theseus said.

"Theseus, instead of being mean about Andromeda's costume, what are _you_?" asked Ms. Rhea.

"I'm a vampire," said Theseus. "I vant to suck your blood."

Ms. Rhea laughed nervously. "Thank you for sharing, Theseus. Perseus, how about you?"

"I'm Uncle P!"

"Great! Orpheus—Orpheus, honey! Don't cry. I'm sure your costume is wonderful," said Ms. Leto.

"I'm…I'm a skeleton," said Orpheus, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"That's a nice costume," said Ms. Rhea. "Well, here's our schedule today." She flipped over a big piece of paper with a pumpkin on it that said that day's schedule. "Since it's Friday, we'll be doing Game Day, but it'll be earlier. We'll be doing the parade today, so no naptime."

"And for lunch," said Ms. Leto, "we're eating pumpkin-shaped chicken tenders with bat-shaped fries."

"Mm," said Jason. "Orifice, that's my favorite food ever! Fries!"

"My name's _Orpheus_ ," Orpheus stressed.

"Oh…right," Jason said nervously. "Sorry. I forgotted."

"Eurydice, what are you?" asked Ms. Leto.

"I'm a singer," Eurydice said sadly. "And my daddy hates me, so I was brutally forced into this itchy costume."

"Honey, Daddy doesn't hate you," Ms. Leto said.

"Yeah he does. He never plays with me at home."

"Well, I'll talk to him after school today," said Ms. Leto.

"He's not coming, so Mrs. Calliope is taking me back to Orpheus' house so we gets to trick-or-treat together," said Eurydice.

"Well," said Ms. Rhea quickly, "it's time for the read-aloud. And…Triton, you can help me turn the pages."

Triton, who was a Cyclops that year, ran up to Ms. Rhea.

Later that afternoon, kids all ran down to the gym for Game Day. Ms. Maia and Ms. Demeter greeted them with the usual, "How's everyone's week?" thing. Once all the kids answered, "Good", Ms. Maia and Ms. Demeter began to play Pumpkin Tag with the kids. It was a complicated game, but the kids understood it just fine.

Andromeda, while she was _it_ , started to get itchy on her hands. So, while someone else was _it_ , she told Perseus. "I'm all itchy." She showed him her hands.

Perseus examined them, then looked at Andromeda. "You have bumps there. See? The red ones."

Andromeda's mind quickly ran from her hands to her face, where even more spots were forming.

"Are you allergy-ic to anything?" asked Perseus.

"I don't think so," said Andromeda. She started scratching her face. "What do I do? It's so annoying!"

"Kids!" yelled Ms. Demeter. "Come to the circle in the middle of the gym, please!" As usual, Ms. Demeter was holding Fructus by the hand as he tried to escape. Fructus was dressed as a farmer for Halloween this year. Phaethon must've approved, because he didn't make fun of Fructus' costume this year.

Perseus and Andromeda came to the circle, where Ms. Maia told them that Ms. Rhea was here to get them.

"Who needs help with costume stuff?" Ms. Leto yelled over the noise of the classroom.

"Ms. Leto," called Andromeda, running to Ms. Leto, "I'm all itchy."

"Where?"

"On my face," said Andromeda.

Ms. Leto looked at Andromeda's face, which was covered in little, red bumps. "Ms. Rhea! Could you come over here for a minute?"

Ms. Rhea, who was putting some blush on Hedone's face (Hedone was Aphrodite this year), came over to the pair of them. "Holy Hera," she breathed as she looked at Andromeda's face. "Did you fall on the playground?"

Andromeda shook her head.

"No? Well, then, I think I know what it is," said Ms. Rhea. "C'mon, hon. Let's go see Ms. Gaea."

Parents had started to arrive for the parade.

"Where's Dromie?" asked Cassiopeia.

"I have no idea," said Cepheus. "Maybe she had to go to the little princess' room."

"Hi," said Ms. Leto. "You looking for Andromeda?"

They nodded.

"She just went to see Gaea. She's got some bumps on her face."

Cepheus and Cassiopeia exchanged dark looks. "I see," said Cepheus. "Well, Cass, I think I'll go check up on her."

Cepheus headed down to the nurse's office. When he opened the door, he saw Andromeda sitting on one of the couches, drinking juice and eating a cookie. Then he spotted Ms. Gaea on the phone.

"Oh," said Ms. Gaea, standing up. "I was just trying to call Cassiopeia at work. Andromeda has chickenpox."

Andromeda was happily sitting on the couch, listening to Ms. Gaea tell her father what was going on.

"I'll call Cassiopeia down here and you guys can take her home," said Ms. Gaea.

"Daddy," said Andromeda. "Daddy, when I'm in the parade, I'm going to wave my magic wand!"

"I'm afraid there won't be a parade for you, princess," said Cepheus.

Andromeda looked puzzled. "Why not?"

"You've got chickenpox," said Cepheus, kneeling in front of her. "So, we need to go home because you're sick."

Cepheus could always tell when his little princess was on the verge of crying. Her face got all scrunched up and she started to sniffle. And that's exactly what Andromeda did, too.

Cepheus picked her up as soon as Cassiopeia walked into the room with Andromeda's things. "You two ready?" she asked.

Cepheus nodded. "How long should we keep her out of school, Ms. Gaea?"

"I'd say about a week," said Ms. Gaea. "Don't scratch, honey," she said as Andromeda scratched her nose. "Feel better. Call me or Asclepius if you've got questions."

When Andromeda got home, Cassiopeia put her in an oatmeal bath right away while Cepheus ran to get a few things.

Meanwhile, the parade had just begun. The class paraded around the classroom and part of the playground, showing off their costumes to the other adults.

"Triton!" yelled Poseidon. "Look like you wanna kick some ass and not like you're having fun! This shall be your future photo on Facebook, and I want it to be good and evil at the same time!"

Meanwhile, Phaethon and Bellerophon were walking around, giving everyone the finger.

"Boys, that's enough!" Ms. Leto yelled at them. She gave Clymene and Eurynome dirty looks.

"Oh, yeah. Bellerophon, hon, let's not do that," Eurynome said absentmindedly.

Clymene, on the other hand, decided to completely embarrass her son by pulling him out of the parade and yelling her voice box out at him. Then, she spanked him a few times, which resulted in Phaethon biting her. We could go on about what they were doing, but let's just fast-forward and say that Clymene took Phaethon home right after the parade, and said he had to give her and Helios half his candy that night.

Meanwhile, Perseus was getting ready to go trick-or-treating. "Mommy, when we get to Andromeda's house, can I see her new princess poster?"

Danaë looked at her son. "Honey, Andromeda's not going tonight."

"How come?"

"Because she's sick with the chickenpox."

"Did she throwed up?"

"Nah. You don't really throw up with this kind of thing, dear," said Danaë. "C'mon, baby. Let's go get Theseus."

So, Theseus, Atalanta, Andromeda, and Perseus were all supposed to go trick-or-treating together. Andromeda was sick, so Atalanta—naturally—felt like the third wheel. Aethra had offered to take her so Iasus could hand out candy and stuff.

 _Ding, dong_! The doorbell rang at Ares' house, revealing Hedone and Psyche. "Hey," said Ares. "Are you supposed to be Aphro?"

"Yeah," said Hedone.

"Great costume," said Ares. He turned around and yelled up the stairs: "GET DOWN HERE, DAMMIT!"

"Mr. Ares," said Hedone, raising her hand. "Are you coming, too?"

"No, hon. I have to stay here and give out cheap candy. We were going to make candied apples, but then Aphro turned on the news this morning and now we can't do that."

"Why?"

"'Cause everyone's freaking out because there could be poison or knives or something in the apples."

"I'm back!" Aphrodite squawked, running into the house, carrying a bag full of candy.

"Where's the other one?" snarled Ares.

"You wanted me to get one," snapped Aphrodite.

"No, Aphrodite. I said _two_."

"Your twos look like ones," she snapped back. "Oh, and my day just got worse because Psycho's here."

"My name is _Psyche_ , Aphrodite," said Psyche in a little-kid voice. "Are we all ready to go?"

"Ms. Psyche," Phobos said, pulling on her arm, "we should throw Mommy off a bridge."

"Believe me, hon, I would _love_ to do that," said Psyche. "But I can't because that's not very nice."

So, after they got Makaria from the Underworld, all the kids headed to Andromeda's house to get some candy.

As soon as Cassiopeia answered the door, the kids yelled, "Trick-or-treat!"

"Hi, kiddos," Cassiopeia said quietly. "I'm trying to be quiet."

"Oh," said Psyche. "Someone sick?"

"Yeah," said Cassiopeia, distributing some candy amongst the kids. "Andromeda's got chickenpox."

"Ooh," said Aphrodite. "I'll come over with my makeup stuff so I can powder her face and—"

"Mommy!"

Andromeda came down the stairs in her pink pajamas. "Can I have some ice cream?"

Cassiopeia turned around, then looked back at the kids. "Well, Happy Halloween!" And she closed the door quickly. "Are you itching again?"

"Yeah, but don't worry. I'm a big girl and I'm not scratching."

"Good girl," said Cassiopeia, feeling her daughter's forehead. "Yeah, you're really warm."

Just then, Cepheus came into the kitchen with some groceries. Andromeda ran to him and gave him a hug around the legs. "Daddy, what did you get?"

"Well, Dromie, I got you some ice cream and some candy," said Cepheus.

"Yay!" Andromeda cried. "Now, I won't be left out! Thanks, Daddy!"

Well, anyway, everyone was still happily trick-or-treating.

During class that day, Hebe told everyone where Ms. Rhea lived, so everyone was constantly pounding on her door to get candy out of her.

Rhea was sitting on her couch, waiting for a pizza, when the doorbell rang. "Hi, guys!" she said sweetly, opening the door and holding out the candy bowl.

"Trick-or-treat, Ms. Rhea!" said Orpheus and Eurydice.

"Well, you kids can each have five pieces," said Ms. Rhea. And they were big pieces, too!

"What do we tell Ms. Rhea?" Calliope asked.

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome. I'll see you guys on Monday!"

Rhea was closing her door again when Hebe rang the bell. Sure enough, she was with Fructus the farmer. Zeus was standing with them, looking like he wanted to kill himself.

"Zeusy," Rhea cooed, giving the kids their candy, "aren't you having fun?"

"Mommy, kill me," said Zeus.

Let's leave Ms. Rhea alone for a while and talk about Phaethon, Bellerophon, and Jason, shall we?

The boys were trick-or-treating with their fathers, when they came upon a haunted house building thingy.

"Cool," said Phaethon. "Let's go inside, guys!"

"Yeah," Bellerophon breathed. "Let's go inside!"

"I don't wanna," said Jason, going behind Helios' legs.

"Dudes, Jason doesn't want to go in," said Helios. "So, we're not going to go in."

"I hope you burn in the fiery pits of Tartarus," Phaethon muttered.

"I know you _think_ I didn't hear that," said Helios angrily. "But I did."

After everyone had gone trick-or-treating, it was time to go back to Phaethon's house to see him throw a fit about his candy.

"And we didn't get to have candy at Mr. Ares' house because Mr. Ares only bought one bag of candy," Phaethon griped as Helios rummaged through his bag for his portion of the candy.

"Well, maybe we should've gone out earlier," said Helios. "Okay, let's see here…I'll take the Butterfingers, the Twix bars, and the M&Ms."

"But…but they're my favorite," said Phaethon.

"Too bad, so sad," said Helios. "Clymene! I got the candy!"

Hedone, Phobos, Deimos, and Makaria all headed back to the Underworld, where Hades was supposed to entertain them. Hades, though, ran into his study like the antisocial fool he was, leaving the kids to raid the pantry for more candy.

Persephone, Psyche, and Aphrodite all walked into the kitchen to get some booze, when they found their children sitting on the floor with a bag of Kisses in front of them.

"Oh," said Psyche, "Hedone, we should probably ask Ms. Persephone if we can have some _before_ we take any."

"Oh." Hedone swallowed some more chocolate. "Sorry, Ms. Persephone. Makaria told me to."

"That's all right, honey," said Persephone.

 **MONDAY MORNING AT ANDROMEDA'S HOUSE**

By now, as you can imagine, Andromeda was bored out of her mind. She couldn't go outside and play, and she couldn't go to school to play with her friends. All she could do all day was sit in her playroom and watch all the princess movies she owned…and had memorized by this point.

This morning, Cepheus and Cassiopeia were going out to do some early Thanksgiving shopping, so Uncle Phineas was asked to watch his sick niece. So, during his visit, he gave Andromeda an oatmeal bath, played dolls with her, and made her no less than three sundaes.

 **MS. HECATE'S ACADEMY**

Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto were enjoying the quiet classroom as the kids went to PE for their special that day. Ms. Rhea was taking notes on Hebe's behavior that day (for data collection at the parent-teacher conferences coming up), when the door opened and Ms. Aethra walked in.

"Hey," said Ms. Aethra. "Eurydice's got dots on her face."

"She does," said Ms. Leto. "How about you get her to Ms. Gaea's office before all the kids come back. I have to take her home because Apollo's at a music conference or something."

Ms. Aethra nodded, taking Eurydice over to the nurse's office.

"Ms. Aethra, do I have to stay home tomorrow?" asked Eurydice.

"Yes, you do."

After school, Ms. Leto took Eurydice home, where Apollo was on the couch, waiting for her to return.

"Apollo," Ms. Leto snapped.

"Hmm?"

"If you were gonna be home, you should've picked up your sick daughter."

"What's on her face?"

"Chickenpox is going around the school," said Ms. Leto.

"Wasn't that part of their physical this year? They all had to be vaccinated."

"Doesn't work like that. Now, since I'm your mother and you have to do what I say, you'll be taking care of your daughter from now on." Ms. Leto turned to Eurydice. "Bye, honey. Hope you feel better soon."

"Thanks, Grandma Leto," said Eurydice, hugging Ms. Leto.

After Ms. Leto left, Apollo gave Eurydice a bath and put some lotion on her.

"Wanna hear a haiku?" asked Apollo.

"No," said Eurydice.

" _This is an ass-pain_

 _Giving you all this oatmeal._

 _What a waste of food_!"

"I said no, Daddy," snapped Eurydice. "You must not have heard the _no_ part."

 **ORPHEUS' HOUSE**

Across the street at Orpheus' house, Orpheus was doing karaoke with Calliope while Oeagrus wrote poetry. Now, Orpheus couldn't read yet, but he knew all the songs by heart because his parents were both music majors in college.

As Calliope was getting her son ready for bed, she pulled the towel back from Orpheus as she was drying him off. "Orpheus, what's on your belly?"

"Maybe I gotted a rash from Jason," said Orpheus.

Calliope pulled out the thermometer and stuck it in Orpheus' ear. "Yep. Fever," she said. "You're staying home tomorrow with Mommy."

Orpheus folded his arms. "Thanks a lot, Eurydice. She wented home today, too."

And let's go back to check on Andromeda.

Andromeda was in and out of sleep while she watched a show called _Demeter's Magical Memories about Cereal_ (don't watch it; it sucks). Cepheus came into the room to check up on her.

"Princess," he said, tapping her on the head.

Andromeda looked up at him. "Daddy!"

"Did you have a nice day with Uncle Phineas?"

"Yeah. I ated three ice cream sundaes…with hot fudge! It was awesome!"

"Mm…sounds yummy. What would you like for dinner? We got you some chicken soup."

"Can I have some, please?"

"Of course you can," Cepheus replied, and he walked out of the playroom.

Uncle Phineas and Cassiopeia were talking about Andromeda as Cepheus walked out of the playroom.

"How was she today?" asked Cassiopeia.

"She was fine. She slept, but she's totally bored," said Uncle Phineas.

"We got her some coloring books," said Cassiopeia, holding up one about princesses and another one about butterflies. She ran into the playroom to give the books to Andromeda.

The next morning, Andromeda was up before her parents (which _never, ever_ happened). So, when Cassiopeia and Cepheus came downstairs to eat breakfast, they found her coloring in her coloring book at the table.

"Just couldn't wait, huh?" Cepheus said, kissing her on the head.

"Daddy, can I go back to school today?" Andromeda begged. " _Please_?"

"No, princess."

Andromeda started to cry. "But…but…I'm so bored here."

"I know, honey," Cassiopeia said. "But guess who's coming over today to watch you?"

"Ms. Danaë?"

"Nope. Ms. Aethra's coming over to watch you! Maybe you can bake cookies with her."

Andromeda wanted to respond with, _Screw cookies, I'm dying_! But, since Theseus was one of her friends now, she liked Ms. Aethra.

 **MUSIC CLASS**

"Okay, everyone," said Ms. Mnemosyne, "when I turn on the 'Turkey Song', you're going to walk like a turkey, but you're going to do it to the beat."

The "Turkey Song" came on. All the kids walked around like turkeys until the song had ended.

"Ms. Psyche," said Theseus, coughing violently, "can I go home? I don't feel good."

"Let's go see Ms. Gaea."

"I don't feel good either," Perseus announced, scratching his nose.

"Come with me, boys," said Ms. Psyche.

So, while Ms. Rhea led the class back to the classroom, both boys were sitting on a bed in Ms. Gaea's office. Ms. Gaea sat in her chair, examining the boys' skin. "Are you both itchy?" she said.

"Yes," said Perseus.

"Okay. Let's take your temps."

Ms. Gaea first looked at Theseus' temperature. This thermometer went under the tongue, so even after Ms. Gaea sterilized it again, Perseus fought her. "That gots Theseus slobber on it!"

"Honey, let me put this under your tongue!" Ms. Gaea said, clearly losing it. When the thermometer beeped, Ms. Gaea had both boys stay in her office while she ran to go make copies of something.

"I'm bored," said Theseus. Then, he spotted a jar of lollipops on Ms. Gaea's desk. Ms. Gaea was a mean nurse and didn't give them out often. But when Miss Hestia was there, _she_ gave them out all the time.

Meanwhile, Perseus spotted the jar of peppermints near the bathroom. He didn't know much about peppermints, only that they tasted good and they made your stomach feel better.

Theseus was swinging his feet on the bed. "I'm still bored," he said.

"Look," Perseus exclaimed. "A flashlight!"

Perseus ran to get it. He turned it on and shined it into Theseus' eyes. "Look at me. I have to make sure your eyes aren't sick, too."

"Stop it," snapped Theseus. "My eyes don't hurt."

Ms. Leto walked into the office. "Boys, what are you doing?"

"We're bored," said Theseus. "And now my eyes hurt, Ms. Leto."

"Well, here. Jason's not feeling well either. Where's Ms. Gaea?"

"She ditched us," said Perseus.

"Why are you kids playing with my stuff?" Ms. Gaea barked, rushing into the office again.

"Because we're bored," Theseus replied. "Can we have a sucker?"

"No," snapped Ms. Gaea. "Besides, your mother's here to get you from school."

"Hi, honey," Aethra cooed, stepping into the office and taking her son's hand. "Are you sick, too?"

"Yeah, Mommy. And I'm also really bored and stuff," Theseus said bitterly. "Ms. Gaea won't give us any suckers."

"Gods, I'm glad you're going home," snarled Ms. Gaea.

"I hope you get fired," said Aethra, picking up Theseus. "Miss Hestia was _much_ nicer."

Perseus still had the flashlight in his hand. "Hmm…" he said. "Jason, it seems you're sick, too."

"I know I'm sick," said Jason.

"Can I look in your ears?" asked Perseus.

"No," said Jason.

"You're no fun," said Perseus, turning off the flashlight.

Danaë walked into the room. "Sweetie," she said to Perseus, "let's go home so you can sleep."

"Okay," said Perseus.

Once all the kids and staff had gone home, Ms. Hecate's Academy was officially closed.

 **ORPHEUS' HOUSE**

Orpheus was _very_ upset that day because he couldn't go to school, which meant that he missed music class.

"Hon," Calliope said, "I know you're angry because you missed music class today. But you'll have more music classes."

"Mommy," Orpheus sobbed, "I wanna go sing and dance with my friend Jason."

"I know, honey. Do you wanna do some karaoke with Mommy?"

"Yes," Orpheus said quietly.

"Okay. What should we sing?"

"ABCs!"

"Okay. We'll sing the ABCs."

 **JASON'S HOUSE**

At Jason's house, Aeson was making his kid some soup when Jason came running down the stairs. "Daddy, I'm all itchy again."

"Hang on, buddy. We'll get you into the tub when I'm done with this soup."

After Aeson finished what he was doing with the soup, he dragged Jason upstairs for his daily dose of oatmeal in the tub.

Jason played with his toy boat while he sat in the tub. "Daddy," he said, "I'm sleepy now."

"I know. Baths make people feel tired," Aeson said.

 **PERSEUS' HOUSE**

Dictys came home from work to find a poke-a-dotted creature running through the house…naked.

Dictys set his keys down and looked for Danaë. Realizing he had no idea where the hell she was, he picked up Perseus. "Kiddo, where's Mommy?"

"Getting a bath ready for me," Perseus said. "Put me down!"

"Dude, why're you running through the house naked?" Dictys said firmly.

"Because I can," Perseus replied.

"Perseus!" called Danaë. "Bath time!"

Dictys carried his nude son upstairs. "Danaë, he was running through the house naked."

"Perseus," Danaë scolded, "we don't run through the house naked."

"Listen, we have work tomorrow," said Dictys. "We have to get a babysitter."

"I wanna see Andromeda," snarled Perseus, splashing the water.

"If you splash again, you're done," Dictys said firmly.

"Grandpa A could watch him," Danaë suggested.

"He's not Uncle P," said Dictys. "Okay."

Danaë went to go call her father. "Daddy, can you watch Perseus tomorrow? He's got the chickenpox."

"Ew!" Acrisius said. "Uh…okay. When should I be there?"

"Eight forty-five," she replied. "I'll be at school, but Dictys will be here for a bit."

Meanwhile, Dictys dragged Perseus out of the tub and put some lotion on his spots. "Okay, buddy. How about some dinner?"

"Yeah!"

"What would you like?"

"I want cheese fries!"

And so, Dictys went into the car and went through the drive-thru with Perseus sitting in his car seat behind him.

"Kiddo, is that all you want? You want a milkshake, too?" Dictys said.

"Yeah," Perseus said, playing with a stuffed fish toy.

"Hello, and welcome to the Cheese Fry Factory. What do you want?" barked the window person.

"A nicer chick taking my order," Dictys snarled at the menu. "I want three orders of cheese fries, three orders of chicken nuggets, and three large vanilla shakes with chocolate shavings on them!"

"Okay, sir," said the cashier. "That'll be eighteen forty-two!"

Dictys pulled around, paid for the food, and drove home.

"What did you do in school today, buddy?" asked Dictys as they were sitting behind a car that couldn't decide whether it wanted to move or not.

"We had show-and-tell today," said Perseus. "I brought in my picture of you and Mommy."

"Did they like it?"

"Yeah. Ms. Rhea said I look just like you."

"What's your letter of the week?" asked Dictys.

"M," said Perseus. "I know almost all the letters!"

"I think you only know half of them," said Dictys, pulling into the garage. "Okay, dude. Go inside and I'll be right there."

 **THESEUS' HOUSE**

For once, Theseus wasn't running around his playset outside because he was feeling like crap.

"Theseus, when you're sick, you can't run around Mommy's legs," Aethra scolded. "How about you watch a movie."

"Can't," Theseus said.

"Then, how about you do your writing homework."

Ms. Rhea was now giving the class weekly "writing practice" to reinforce printing skills. So, ever since week…whenever the hell school started, Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto would give the kids a sheet of letters to write once a week. If they did it, they would get candy, and Theseus LOVED his candy!

Theseus glumly went to his backpack, pulled out his take-home folder, and opened it. Inside, there was a letters sheet on the letter M. The directions were to circle everything that started with the letter M. So, the words were _muffin, mitten,_ and _milkshake_. Then, Theseus was told to circle the word that _didn't_ start with the letter M. His new words were _ball, mother_ , and _meatball_.

When Theseus was done, Aethra looked it over. "Good job, sweetie," she told him. "Now, why don't we watch a movie together?"

"I wanna color," Theseus said, itching his face.

"No scratching, dear," said Aethra firmly. "Let me go get the lotion. Pick out a movie."

So, Theseus rummaged through his movie box and pulled out _Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs_. When Aethra came back downstairs, she put some lotion on Theseus' chickenpox, then put the movie in. Then, she and Theseus made a fort of pillows and blankets in front of the TV.

When Aegeus got home from lawyer stuff, he found Theseus sleeping in Aethra's lap as she watched the rest of the movie.

"He sick, too?" asked Aegeus.

"Uh-huh," said Aethra.

"Mommy?" Theseus said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "I'm itchy again!"

"Is it your back or your tummy?" asked Aethra.

"My tummy," said Theseus.

Aethra put some lotion on Theseus' belly, then she gave him a cookie after he took his drugs for his ADHD.

 **PHAETHON'S HOUSE**

"Boys!" called Clymene. "Time for dinner!"

Helios and Phaethon were spending some father-son bonding time in their basement. Helios had just introduced Phaethon to some video games, so now Phaethon was addicted.

"Boys!" screamed Clymene. "Dinner!"

"C'mon, dude," said Helios. "Let's go up there before Mommy loses it."

"Loses what?" asked Phaethon.

"Loses her patience," said Helios as they ran up the stairs together.

As the family was eating turkey and potatoes for dinner, Clymene turned to Phaethon. "So, honey, did you learn anything at school today?"

"Yep. I learneded what M was," said Phaethon. "'Member, Mommy? You helped me with my worksheet."

"That's right. I did." Clymene poured some more gravy on her turkey and potatoes. "Do you want to tell Daddy what happened today?"

"I didn't get my stoplight moved at all," said Phaethon.

"Good job, buddy! See? School isn't so bad!" Helios said, clapping for his son's big achievement. "Now, do you wanna play more _Journey to the Center of the Underworld_ , or do you want me to read to you?"

"Read to me," Phaethon said, yawning. "My head hurts."

"Do you have a headache, baby?" asked Clymene.

"Yes," said Phaethon.

"Yeah, you look red in the face," said Helios. "Clymene, he's burning up."

Clymene took her son's temperature. "Yep, he's got a fever. Phaethon, how about you go to bed."

Phaethon, who was feeling too sick to even cop an attitude with his mother, walked up the stairs with his head in his hands, and with Helios following him.

"Daddy," Phaethon groaned, "I feel like crap."

"I know, dude. Maybe you should stay home tomorrow and sleep," Helios suggested. "Which jammies do you want?"

Phaethon, whose fever was making him feel warm, declined the offer for pajamas. "I'll just sleep in my underwear."

Helios shrugged. "Um…okay, kid."

After Helios put Phaethon in bed, he headed downstairs to find Clymene on her phone.

"Just told Hecate and Rhea that Phaethon's sick," said Clymene. "I hope this'll just be a one-day thing and not the chickenpox."

Around midnight, Phaethon got up and stood in front of his mirror. _Balls_ , he thought.

Phaethon ran into his parents' room. "Mommy!" he screamed. "I'm _really_ sick!"

Clymene jumped and looked at her son. "Oh, no," she hissed. "Well, hon, go back to bed and I'll get the lotion."

 **PERSEUS' HOUSE**

It was the first day of hell for Perseus. He sat on the couch in the living room watching a movie, trying to distract himself from this horrible itching. He knew Grandpa A would be there soon to take care of him, and he wasn't looking forward to it. At least it wasn't Uncle P!

Perseus heard the doorbell ring, and his mother ran to get it. "Uh…I said Acrisius."

"Danaë," said a voice that reminded Perseus painfully of Uncle P's, "your father is coughing up blood."

"For real?" Danaë asked, mildly concerned.

"No. Not really. But it sounded good, right?" Polydectes chuckled. "Anyway, he asked me to watch the kiddo. And where's Dick?"

"Danaë!" called Dictys, running down the stairs in his usual fishing gear. "Did Acrisius—oh. You're not Acrisius."

"Nope," Polydectes smirked. "My name is Polydectes."

"Really? I had no idea," snapped Dictys.

"Acrisius actually didn't want to come because he said he didn't want to get this thingy," Polydectes explained. "So…I'm filling in for him."

"I see," said Dictys. "Well, I'm off to work. Danaë, when are you heading out?"

"Right now." Danaë gave Polydectes the bottle of lotion. "Put this on Perseus' chickenpox. It'll soothe the itching."

"Okay," said Polydectes.

As soon as Danaë left, Uncle P sat down on the couch next to Perseus. "Hey, dude."

Perseus was curled up on the couch under a blanket. "Hey," he said glumly.

"Not feeling good today, huh?"

"Not really."

"I'm Dr. Uncle P, just like when you got that nasty flu last year," said Dr. Uncle P, holding out the bottle of lotion.

"Uncle Ass-Face, I don't like that game too much."

"Aw…I liked it a lot when we played it last year," snapped Uncle P. "But I guess nothing lasts forever."

 **ASCLEPIUS' WAITING ROOM**

"Now, Phaethon," said Clymene as she picked out a picture book for her kid to look at, "if Dr. Asclepius touches your skin, don't jump off the table and kick him in the groin like you did at your checkup, okay?"

Phaethon gave his mother a hard look, which Clymene casually ignored.

"Phaethon," said Nurse Hygiea, "you're up, dear!"

Clymene carried her son into the office, and placed him on the exam table.

Asclepius turned around and smiled warmly at Phaethon. "Hey, dude," he said.

"Hey, dude," Phaethon said. Apparently, he was a copycat today.

"So…what's going on today?" asked Asclepius.

"He's got chickenpox, and I just want to make sure he's not lying. He tends to do that," said Clymene.

"Well," said Asclepius, "he definitely has chickenpox, Clymene. There's not much I can tell you."

"It's not the mumps, right?"

"Nope," said Asclepius. "Definitely chickenpox. Make sure he gets plenty of rest, lots of fluids, and no school for a week."

 _All right! No stupid school for a whole stupid week…STUPID_ , Phaethon's brain told him.

"I'm glad you brought him in, though," said Asclepius. "He's overdue for his flu vaccine."

" _What_?" Phaethon groaned.

"Dude, it's just a pinch," said Asclepius, readying the needle. "Want to watch?"

"Okay," said Phaethon. So, Asclepius gave him the shot and sent Phaethon and Clymene on their way.

 **THESEUS' HOUSE**

Theseus and Aethra were, once again, watching a movie. Today, they were watching _A Christmas Carol_. Aegeus had already left for work, and Aethra had already given Theseus his drugs for his ADHD.

After the movie was over, Aethra asked her son if he wanted her to read to him. So, Theseus got a book called _The Murder Most Foul_ , a book about murder. The book was actually one of Aegeus' lawyer books with a stupid title, but Theseus thought there'd be some action in here, so he asked Aethra to read it to him.

Aethra sat in the armchair in the living room and had Theseus sit on her lap while she read to him. " _A premeditated murder is a murder that is thought about prior to the killing of the victim_ ," Aethra read.

"What does that mean?" asked Theseus.

"How about you get another book," said Aethra.

Theseus bolted up to his parents' room, where he found another book.

" _Where Do Babies Come From? All the Questions Kids Ask to Make Conversations at the Dinner Table Totally Awkward_. I don't know if this is a good idea either, hon." She picked up a book. " _Kronos Goes to Jail_. This should be good." So, they read until the book ended. By that point, Theseus was sleeping.

 **ANDROMEDA'S HOUSE**

Today, it was Cassiopeia's turn to watch Andromeda. She was nice to her, but she didn't spoil her daughter like Phineas did. Cassiopeia only gave Andromeda _one_ sundae, not three.

Since it was Wednesday, Cassiopeia was supposed to work later than usual that night. But after calling in sick, she got the whole day to herself.

When it was time for Andromeda's nap, Andromeda asked her mother for a story…with princesses in it.

"Okay, honey," Cassiopeia said. "Once upon a time, there was a princess—"

"And her name was Andromeda," said Andromeda.

"Yes, her name was Andromeda," Cassiopeia agreed. "So, one day, Princess Andromeda was picking flowers in the enchanted forest, when she met Prince Perseus. They got married. The end."

Yeah, it wasn't her best work, but Andromeda could only listen to so much of a story before she got bored by it. So, instead, Cassiopeia put on some sleepy-time music for her, and Andromeda fell into a deep sleep.

 **PERSEUS' HOUSE**

Across the street, Polydectes was texting Acrisius (because Perseus was taking his nap, too).

Uncle P had just sent a smiley face to Grandpa A, when a loud fart interrupted his texting time. "Who the hell was that?" he yelled.

"That was me," said Perseus, running into the living room.

"Dude, don't come over here!" yelled Polydectes.

"Too late, Uncle Poop-Sniffer!" screamed Perseus. "I'm trying to stink up the whole house so you'll leave us alone… _forever_."

"Stupid," snapped Uncle P, "go back upstairs. Your nap's not over yet."

"I can make myself burp," Perseus bragged. "Watch!" He swallowed some air, burped, and threw up on Uncle P's pants. "Mission 'complished," he said cheerfully.

But Uncle P wouldn't leave the house. "Kiddo, go upstairs and sleep, dammit!"

"Make me," Perseus said casually.

Uncle P was getting angry, so he picked up his nephew and carried him upstairs. Perseus was blowing raspberries in his face the whole time.

 **TRITON'S HOUSE**

Poseidon pulled into his underwater palace's garage and dragged Triton inside the palace. "Kiddo," he said, "while I make dinner or something, you can do your homework. And if it's not perfect, I shall deny that you're my son."

"Okay," Triton said.

Amphitrite was standing near the oven, making chocolate-chip cookies. "Hi, baby," she cooed, giving Triton a hug. "How was school today?"

"Good," said Triton. "We did stuff with writing." And he pulled a folder out of his backpack. The class was now working on handwriting skills (it was Wednesday, which meant that it was handwriting skills time until Friday afternoon). Triton pulled out his packet of everything involving the letter M, from the pictures to the handwriting. Amphitrite smiled at her son's effort on writing an M for the first time.

"Good work, honey," said Amphitrite. "Who gave you the sticker?"

"Ms. Leto gave us a sticker if we did our homework from last night," said Triton, scratching his face.

"Triton, honey," said Amphitrite, "it looks like you've got bumps on your face. Are you itchy?"

"Yeah," Triton said, beginning to cry. "It's really bad, Mommy. Make it go away!"

"Honey, shh," Amphitrite said soothingly. "Don't cry. We'll take care of it. Let me call Ms. Hecate and tell her you've got chickenpox. Then, I think you get to take a nice, warm oatmeal bath."

Triton tried oatmeal once…and threw it up all over the table.

Amphitrite dragged him upstairs to take his oatmeal bath. Triton hesitated at first, since he became nauseated by oatmeal.

"Hon, you're not going to eat it. You're just taking a bath in it. It'll make you feel a lot better," Amphitrite promised. "Here. Play with your toy dolphin."

 **HERA'S CAR**

"Are you ready for therapy?" asked Hera, pulling into the parking lot of Eros' therapy clinic.

"Yeah," said Hebe.

"I'm going to come with you," said Hera.

"Okay," said Hebe.

"Something wrong?" asked Hera.

"My throat hurts," said Hebe.

"Well, maybe you can have a mint when we get inside," Hera suggested.

Harmonia, the receptionist, was on the phone. "Okay, Hades. We'll see you and Persephone tomorrow. Please get here a few minutes early so she can fill out an intake form." She looked at the girls. "Hi, girls."

"Hi, Harmonia," said Hera.

"Hi, Hebe," Harmonia said gently. "Are you ready to see Mr. Eros?"

"Uh-huh," said Hebe nervously.

"Okay. Take a seat and he'll be right out."

Hera and Hebe had just sat down, when Eros came out of the office. "Hey, guys," he said. "Hebe, are you ready?"

Hebe nodded, then buried her face into Hera's shirt and began to cry.

"Hera, why don't you come back, too," Eros said. "We can talk about Hebe's progress."

"Sounds good," Hera replied, pulling Hebe by the hand and following Eros into the office.

Eros took his comfortable armchair (where he would sit to interrogate people), while Hera sat—with Hebe on her lap—on the couch across from him.

"So," said Eros, "how's everything going at home, Hera?"

"She's much happier at home than she is at school," Hera replied. "She gets _really_ anxious when someone won't do something for her at school, and they ask her to do it herself."

"Mm-hmm," said Eros. "Could this have something to do with self-advocacy?"

"Yeah," said Hera.

"Okay. Any examples?"

"Hebe asked Rhea to zip up her coat for her, but Rhea asked Hebe to try it by herself first. So, they had to get Gaea into the room to stop the tantrum."

Eros thought for a minute, then looked at the youth goddess. "Hebe, sweetie, does trying new things make you feel sad?"

"Yeah," Hebe said, scratching her face. "It makes me sad, Mr. Eros."

"Hera, I think if we tell Hebe what to expect from something new," said Eros, "that might help her feel better about starting new things. What do _you_ think, Hebe?"

"Yeah," Hebe said, scratching her arms.

"So," said Eros, "I can sort of see she's losing interest because she's itching."

Hera gasped. "Hebe, you've got dots all over you face."

"I do?"

"Yes, dear. We'll put you into a bath when we get home."

Eros cleared his throat and stood up. "Well, I'll see you two in a couple of weeks to discuss more progress."

Hera pulled into the garage and got Hebe into the bath right away. Hera was just about to wash Hebe's hair, when Zeus walked in without his shirt on. "Ew," he hissed. "What is this creature in my house?"

"That _creature_ ," Hera snapped, "is your daughter."

"How was therapy?" asked Zeus.

"Fine," said Hera.

"That's nice. I signed Ares up for theater camp, but don't tell him. It'll be funnier if he doesn't know."

Hera rolled her eyes and took Hebe out of the tub, wrapping a towel around her. "Baby," she cooed to Hebe, "would you like some…hot chocolate?"

"Yes," Hebe sniffled. "I don't feel good, Mommy."

"I know, sweetheart," Hera said soothingly. "Do you want Mommy to rub your back?"

"No," said Hebe. "Rub my belly, Mommy."

 **HEDONE'S HOUSE**

Eros drove into the garage, got out of the car, and whistled as he walked into the kitchen. He found Psyche at the kitchen table, doing a crossword puzzle.

"What does Ares call Aphrodite all the time?" Psyche asked herself.

"Bitch," Eros replied.

"Excuse me?" Psyche snarled.

"That's the answer, baby doll," Eros replied. "How was your day?"

Psyche and he made out at the table.

"Fine," said Psyche. "I finally got the laundry done, so now you have clean underwear."

"Are my heart ones in my drawer?"

"Yes, darling."

"Good. Good." Eros looked around the room. "Where's Hedone?"

"She's upstairs in her room. Not sure what she's doing," said Psyche. "What should we eat for dinner?"

"How about some chicken with potatoes?" Eros said.

Psyche agreed, so Eros and she began to make dinner together.

Meanwhile, Hedone was playing with her dollhouse up in her room. "Miss Otrera, would you like some more tea?" She picked up another doll. "Sure, Mrs. Hippolyta. I would _love_ some more tea!"

"Hey, sweetie," Eros said, walking into the room.

"Hi, Daddy. Wanna play?"

"Sure. Are we playing tea party?"

"No. Now we're going to play school. I'll be Ms. Rhea. You can be me. Let's start class now!" Hedone ran to her CD player and the song "Make New Friends" came on. "Clap to the beat, everyone!"

Eros started to clap.

"Very good, Daddy," said Hedone, scratching her chin.

Eros, who loved playing with his daughter, was sad now because they had to stop playing school early. "Sweetie," he told her, "are you itchy?"

"A little," said Hedone, scratching her arms.

"Do you want to take a nice, warm bath?" asked Eros.

"Yeah. Can you tell me a story, too?" asked Hedone.

"Of course I can," said Eros.

Meanwhile, Psyche came upstairs because she heard the water running in the tub. "What's up?"

"She's got chickenpox," said Eros, helping his daughter into the tub.

"Is it bad, Hedone?" said Psyche.

"Yeah."

Psyche felt her forehead. "Well, I'll text Hecate and tell her you'll be home from school tomorrow."

While normal children would love a day off from school, Hedone was heartbroken; she loved school.

 **NEXT MONDAY**

So, because the author of this FanFiction couldn't keep track of the days of the week since everything started, let us now fast-forward to the next week.

Andromeda was back in school, but she was very lonely. The class was now missing Fructus, Atalanta, Hercules, and Iphicles. Plus, Perseus wasn't back in school yet, so that was another reason Andromeda felt lonely.

"Ms. Rhea," said Bellerophon, "when will everyone be back at school?"

"I think Theseus is coming tomorrow," said Ms. Rhea. "And I'm not sure about everyone else. Maybe during playtime, we can make everyone get-well cards and give them to Mr. Hermes."

"Yay!" the class cheered.

Ms. Leto, who was on her laptop (probably doing some sort of school thingy), looked up and smiled at the few kids on the carpet today.

"Let's do the weather, shall we?" said Ms. Rhea. She held up a pointer and looked around the room. "I spy with my Titan eye…someone wearing a pink dress with very cute black shoes."

Makaria stood up. "It was Daddy's first day ever dressing me," she told Ms. Rhea. "He doesn't like doing that because he doesn't like spending time with me and stuff."

"Oh, hon, don't say that. Your father loves you very much," said Ms. Leto, coming over to the carpet and pulling Bellerophon's thumb out of his mouth. "Bellerophon, let's not suck our thumb, okay?"

"Why?" he asked her, wiping his spit on his jeans.

"Because there are germs on the carpet," Ms. Leto replied sweetly. "Do you want to sit on my lap?"

"Sure," said Bellerophon, crawling into Ms. Leto's lap. They both looked up at Ms. Rhea.

"Makaria, can you tell us what the weather's like today?"

"Yes. It's rainy and yucky outside," she replied.

"Good girl," Ms. Rhea cooed. "Is it sunny?"

"Nope. My daddy doesn't like the sun…or happiness…or the color lellow."

"I think that's _yellow_ , sweetie," said Ms. Rhea. "Good girl. Here's your sticker today."

Just then, Ms. Hecate walked into the room. "Good morning, kids."

"Hi, Ms. Hecate," the class said sleepily.

"Aphrodite wanted me to tell you that Deimos is constipated, so if he goes to the bathroom for ten minutes and doesn't come back, you'll know why. And she wanted to make sure I told the whole class so no one worries about it. That is all."

Everyone stared at her as she awkwardly walked out of the room.

"At any rate," said Ms. Rhea quickly, "it's story time!"

"Ms. Rhea, I think it's show-and-tell day," said Ms. Leto.

"Sorry, class, my brain's a bit foggy today."

"Have you been drinking?" asked Cyrene.

"No," said Ms. Rhea, and that's where it ended. "Now, Makaria, I think—since you did the weather—you should go first."

Makaria stood up and clapped her hands. Next to her, a girl appeared with dark, curly hair. "This is my half-sister Hazel," said Makaria. "She's nice to me. She gives me treats and buys me cool stuff, because Daddy is a cheap-ass and acts like a scrooge all the damn time."

"Hi, everyone," said Hazel, waving to all the kids.

"Your hair looks like Cinnamon's fur," Bellerophon observed out loud.

"I don't know what that means," said Hazel, "but thanks."

Makaria clapped her hands again and an Asian kid appeared next to Hazel. "Wha—where am I?" the kid said.

"And this is Hazel's boyfriend Frank," said Makaria proudly. "Ms. Aphrodite follows them a lot and giggles when she sees them."

 **FRUCTUS' HOUSE**

"Mommy! Stop!"

"Fructus, be quiet or you won't get cereal for dessert tonight!"

Fructus squealed as Demeter put more lotion on his spots.

Fructus' story about chickenpox was boring, so let's check on Phaethon.

PHAETHON'S HOUSE – WHICH IS _NOT_ BORING

Phaethon, who was chilling at home with Clymene, was riding his trike around the kitchen while Clymene made him some lunch.

"Mommy, I'm bored," said Phaethon. "Wanna play drive-thru?"

"Honey, it's lunchtime. And then it'll be naptime."

Phaethon coughed all over his trike. Then, he rode it to his mother and ran it into her ankles a bunch of times (he thought it was funny when she got pissed).

Clymene put a knife into the sink, put a slice of bread on top of the PB&J, then put it on the table. Then, she got out a bag of potato chips and gave some to Phaethon. Then, she poured him a small glass of milk, then sat down with him, eating her own lunch.

Phaethon looked at his mother, who seemed mildly interested in her salad. She was watching him closely. "What?"

"Don't you _what_ me, Mister," snapped Clymene. "Eat _all_ of your lunch. You know the rule."

"No lunch, no dessert," Phaethon said bitterly.

 **ARES' HOUSE**

Aphrodite was having her usual once-a-month rant about Psyche.

"She's too pretty to be a goddess. I'm the goddess of beauty, so I'm supposed to be beautiful."

Ares was drinking in hopes to forget this conversation later.

"Are you listening to me?" barked Aphrodite.

Ares burped. "Uh-huh," he replied.

"Mommy," came a voice from the staircase.

"What?" Aphrodite snapped.

Phobos and Deimos were standing on the stairs, both their faces covered in spots.

"Ew," Aphrodite squealed, "you're infected with something nasty! Get out of my house!"

"Aphro, it's just chickenpox," said Ares. "Be nice to them." Ares went to his sons and put one hand on each of their foreheads. "Yeah, you two aren't heading to school tomorrow. I'll call Ms. Hecate. In the meantime, Aphrodite, give them a bath."

"I'm not your personal slave, Ares," snarled Aphrodite.

"YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!" yelled Ares, making Aphrodite's hair fly out of her face.

"YOU RUINED MY HAIR!"

Aphrodite pulled the boys upstairs, and gave them baths. Then, she let them run around the house naked because Aphrodite's an idiot.

 **TWO WEEKS LATER AT MS. HECATE'S ACADEMY**

It turned out that everyone had gotten the chickenpox. Some kids were still coughing, but in general, everyone looked healthy and happy to be sitting on the carpet for circle time.

"Since it's almost Thanksgiving," said Ms. Rhea, "it's time to talk about the Thanksgiving lunch! Did everyone bring their permission forms back?"

The class nodded.

"Excellent! So, your parents will be coming in on Friday for lunch, and we'll all be eating in the gym. The classroom's too little for all of us to fit. On that note, let's review our sight-words from last time." Ms. Rhea held up a card with the word LOVE on it. Then, she held up a card with the word CAT on it. The class did very well with the sight-words.

That afternoon, when Helios came to get Phaethon, Phaethon got mad because he found out that Perseus, Andromeda, and Theseus were going to Disney World for Christmas break, and he couldn't go.

"It's okay, buddy," said Helios as he drove home with his kid. "We'll have fun because we're going to…Magic Sprinkles Waterpark!"

Phaethon whooped with joy; he'd never been there, but he was excited to go!

 **Okay…there was my mini novel. Hope you all like it!**


	22. Chapter 21: Happy Holidays!

**CHAPTER 21**

November turned into December, and with December came lots and lots of snow. Ms. Hecate's Academy was still open, though it was hard to get the kids outside for recess.

"What's the rule outside?" asked Ms. Rhea.

"No eating the yellow snow," said the class warily.

"Very good," said Ms. Leto. "Everything's okay to play on, _except_ the tire swing."

The class hurried outside into the freezing weather. Hebe and Hedone ran into the snow and started to make snow angels. Orpheus and Eurydice went to the playset and started to slide down the big slide. And, of course, Theseus was the only one who hadn't heard a word Ms. Rhea said.

Theseus had gotten a wonderful surprise that morning.

"Theseus," Aethra told him, "come take your medicine before school!"

Theseus ran to his mother, who opened the bottle. "Hmm…" said Aethra, "it's all gone."

"Finally!" said Theseus.

"I keep forgetting to ask Dr. Asclepius for more," said Aethra. "We'll need to get you some. If I drop you off at school, will you be a good boy today?"

"Uh-huh," said Theseus.

That didn't work out, though! Theseus immediately ran for the tire swing and climbed onto it.

"Wee!" yelled Theseus, swinging and not holding on because he sucked at following simple directions.

"Theseus!" screamed Ms. Rhea. That was weird, because Ms. Rhea never got mad at anybody…except Phaethon. "Get down here right now!"

Theseus glumly headed to his teacher and stood in front of her.

Ms. Rhea glanced down at him, her hands on her hips. "What did we _just_ tell you?"

"I'm not sure," Theseus said, smiling sheepishly up at her.

"We said the tire swing is off limits. Now, if you can't behave yourself, I'm going to take you to the principal."

Theseus' heart hammered. He'd heard horror stories from Phaethon about Ms. Hecate, and Phaethon said that Ms. Hecate was a real witch (ha-ha) when it came to punishing kids.

"I'll try better next time, Ms. Rhea," said Theseus, not meeting her eyes.

Ms. Rhea smiled warmly at Theseus. "That a boy," she said, kneeling and hugging him. After letting Theseus go, she spotted Phaethon sitting on top of Bellerophon. "PHAETHON!"

Phaethon slowly got off Bellerophon and walked over to Ms. Rhea.

"We're going inside now," said Ms. Rhea.

While Ms. Leto was watching the other kids, Ms. Rhea dragged Phaethon into Ms. Hecate's office. "Good morning, Ms. Danaë."

Danaë looked up from her computer. "Good morning, you two. How may I help you today?"

"We're looking for Ms. Hecate," said Rhea, holding Phaethon by the wrist as he tried to escape.

"Ms. Hecate's out of the office today," said Danaë, "so, Mr. Zeus is filling in. What's the reason for this?"

"I'd like him to talk to Phaethon."

"Sure thing." Danaë pressed a button on her phone. "Zeus, it's Danaë. We have a student here to see you."

"If it's Hebe, tell her to quit being such a little shit all the time. I am the king, and what I say goes!"

"Sir, it's Phaethon."

"Oh, what a joyous day this is," Zeus said sarcastically. "Well, send him in."

Ms. Rhea took Phaethon's hand and led him into the principal's office. "Mr. Zeus, this is Phaethon."

"Really?" Zeus said. "All right. What is it you wish to tell the king?"

"I don't like you," said Phaethon. "Ms. Rhea, I wanna go back to class now."

"Phaethon, I need you to tell Mr. Zeus why you're in here."

"But I don't _know_ why I'm in here, stupid," snapped Phaethon.

"Small, puny, little butthead," said Zeus, "you are in here because you've been a very naughty boy. Why is this so?"

"School is dumb and I hate everything…and life is horrible."

Ms. Rhea decided that now was a good time to leave the principal's office, so she left Phaethon and Zeus to sort out the problems Phaethon was having.

Meanwhile, back in the classroom, Ms. Leto was doing a math lesson.

Atalanta was on the carpet, demonstrating to the class how to count on a number line.

"Now, honey, let's move three spaces until you reach seven," Ms. Leto said.

Atalanta hopped three spaces, stopping on seven.

"Very good," said Ms. Leto. "And it looks like Ms. Rhea's back!"

Everyone cheered for Ms. Rhea.

"Did you guys have fun counting today?" asked Ms. Rhea.

"Yeah," said Theseus.

"Good. Now, we'll be doing some science."

The class looked at each other; they didn't know what science was.

"Can everyone head back to their tables?" asked Ms. Leto.

The class scrambled back to their tables.

"Perseus, I don't think you sit there, dear," said Ms. Leto. "I think you sit next to Phobos."

Perseus got up from where he was sitting by Andromeda, then went back to his regular seat.

Ms. Leto and Ms. Rhea were passing around cups. But when the kids looked inside, they saw _worms_!

As expected, Andromeda was the first girl to freak out…and she was followed by the rest of the girls (except for Cyrene and Atalanta).

"Stop screaming," snapped Cyrene. "You're hurting my ears."

"Don't worry, girls," said Ms. Rhea. "These are mealworms. They won't hurt you at all. They just like to crawl. Now, Ms. Leto's passing out some paper plates, and we're going to watch our mealworms crawl on our plates. We'll do this…maybe once a week."

While Ms. Leto was passing out the plates, Ms. Rhea made a special announcement she forgot to do during circle time.

"So, Christmas is coming up, so that means it's time for the annual Christmas party. It'll be at my house."

"Guys," said Hebe, "Ms. Rhea's house is so pretty during Christmastime."

"Thank you, Hebe," said Ms. Rhea sweetly. "And we'll be doing Secret Godly Santa again this year."

A few hours later, it was reflection time again. Ms. Leto and Ms. Rhea handed out the journals. Phaethon, who was back in class, had had a nice chat with Mr. Zeus (no, for real, it was nice). Mr. Zeus told Phaethon that—even though school wasn't fun sometimes—Phaethon could make it fun for himself.

Phaethon drew a picture of a snowman and handed his journal back to Ms. Rhea. "That's what I did at recess," he explained as Ms. Rhea looked it over.

"Well, that looks like a very happy snowman," said Ms. Rhea. "Don't forget, everyone, tomorrow is our classroom party. Some people won't be able to make it, so we'll have everyone here tomorrow."

Helios walked into the room, hoping not to hear bad news about his son's behavior. "How was he today?" he asked warily.

"He saw Zeus in the office—Hecate's out today—and he and Phaethon sorted out Phaethon's problems," said Ms. Rhea. "You guys coming to the holiday party?"

"Yeah," said Helios, taking Phaethon's hand. "C'mon, dude. Let's go get some groceries for dinner."

"Okay," said Phaethon. And he left the room.

Aethra hurried into the room. "Theseus, we have to go to the drug store to get your drugs!"

Theseus, who was showing Atalanta how to properly play with a toy truck, dropped it immediately and ran to his mother.

Cassiopeia walked into the room and reached for Andromeda's coat. She saw her daughter happily playing with Hedone. And guess what they were playing.

"Princess Hedone," said Andromeda, who was in a pretend pink dress and holding a magic wand, "you are allowed to come into my house!"

"Thank you, Princess Andromeda," said Hedone, who was in a pretty yellow dress and wearing a crown.

"Dromie, Mommy's here," said Ms. Rhea.

Andromeda pulled the dress off, hung it on the hook near the playset, then headed to her mother.

As soon as Cassiopeia strapped Andromeda into her car seat, Andromeda looked at her mother. "Mommy, when we get home, can we play Pretty, Pretty Princess?"

"No, honey. We have to pack because we're leaving for Disney on Saturday." Cassiopeia was actually thinking of a nice way to tell Andromeda to let go of her princess obsession.

"Do I get to see Belle?"

"If Belle's there."

"What about Cinderella?"

"We'll see."

"What about Snow White and Ariel? Ooh! And Jasmine! Perseus told me that Jasmine is the badass princess!"

"Andromeda, I'm sure you'll see all of them," said Cassiopeia, getting annoyed with her daughter.

"Well…when we go to Disney, I wanna go see _all_ of them," Andromeda said firmly.

Cassiopeia pulled into the garage and didn't look at Andromeda until they were inside the house. Then, she gave Andromeda a cookie and sat with her at the table. "Andromeda, Mommy's getting tired of your princess obsession."

Andromeda bit into the cookie and stared at her mother. "I don't like you no more," she said casually.

Cassiopeia sighed and looked at her daughter. "Well, it's annoying."

Andromeda finished her cookie, wiped her mouth on her sleeve, and ran up to her room without crying or throwing a fit. Cassiopeia sat at the kitchen table, pulled out her phone, and began texting Danaë and Aethra in a group chat about Disney World.

Meanwhile, Aethra and Theseus were at the pharmacy. Aethra was waiting patiently for the medicine, but Theseus couldn't wait any longer, so he started running up and down the aisles.

"Theseus, knock it off," snapped Aethra as Asclepius came up to the counter.

"It's a different color this time," Asclepius told Theseus. "It'll taste like grapes."

"What do you say?" asked Aethra.

"Do you have better flavors?" Theseus demanded.

"Sorry, dude."

"Oh. Okay, then," said Theseus. "Thanks, Dr. 'Scleepus."

Once they got home, Aethra pulled out the dropper and chased her son around the house for ten minutes before she coaxed him into taking his new medicine.

When Aegeus came home, he went into the basement and brought up the suitcases. Then, he found the portable DVD player and the portable TV, which he fitted into the car.

Meanwhile, Aethra put Theseus in front of the TV and told him that—if he needed anything—she would be upstairs packing for the trip.

Theseus was totally calm right now because this new drug was stronger. But it also made his stomach feel sick. So, he ran into Aethra's room. "Mommy, my belly hurts."

"Are you not feeling well?" asked Aethra absentmindedly.

Theseus shook his little head. "I feel nachos."

"I think it's _nauseous_ , honey," she replied. "How about you eat something. It might go away if you do that."

Back at Andromeda's house, Cassiopeia was still sitting at the table, playing a game on her iPad. She didn't feel bad about saying that stuff to Andromeda; that's just how she felt.

When Cepheus came home from watching people drink alcohol all day long, he was surprised to see Cassiopeia sitting at the table, and Andromeda not running at him as she usually did.

"Where's Dromie?"

"She's in her room."

Cepheus headed upstairs. Andromeda's door was shut, which was weird for her. He knocked.

"Who's there?" Andromeda said quietly.

"It's Daddy," said Cepheus.

"Okay," said Andromeda.

Cepheus walked into the room to find his daughter at her desk, coloring in her coloring book. "How was your day?"

"Good."

"What're you coloring?"

"A butterfly."

"Why aren't you coloring in your princess book?" asked Cepheus, kneeling next to his daughter.

"Because Mommy says my princess stuff is annoying," said Andromeda.

"Mommy said that to you?"

"Yeah. And now I'm sad 'cause I wanna see all the pretty princesses at Disney World, but Mommy said no." Andromeda pointed to a box by the window. "I putted all my princess stuff in that box so I can throw it out and not make Mommy mad at me anymore."

This news broke Cepheus' heart, because he loved Andromeda's obsession with princesses. He loved when she dressed up and ran around the house, singing "A Whole New World" from _Aladdin_. Cepheus remembered a time where Andromeda was pretending to be Ariel, and he was being King Triton…and Cassiopeia was always Ursula.

Cepheus hurried to the box, where he found a bunch of dress-up clothes, two magic wands, some plastic crowns, and a hot dog toy from the pretend kitchen in the playroom. "Why's your hot dog in here?"

"Oh, _that's_ where it went." Andromeda grabbed it out of the box. "I was looking for it."

"Dromie, I'm gonna talk to Mommy, because that wasn't a nice thing for her to say to you," said Cepheus.

"No, it wasn't."

"That's right. And besides, I love when you talk about princesses! So, you should keep all that stuff you put into that box. Plus, you'll have to bring some stuff for the car ride, because it'll be really long."

FRIDAY BEFORE BREAK

The day before break, all the kids were squirrely, except for Theseus, because his new drugs were working well.

"Boys and girls," Ms. Rhea said, "remember that the Christmas party is at my house on Monday, but your parents know about that already. We're going to have a classroom party today, so did everyone finish their coloring?"

"Yes," said the class.

"Good! So, now we're going to have Game Day early today. Who's our line leader today?"

Bellerophon stood up and got in front of Andromeda. "I am, Ms. Rhea!"

"Okay, guys! Let's follow Bellerophon to the gym!"

Ms. Maia and Ms. Demeter were setting up an obstacle course for the kids to do while Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto did "homework" in the classroom.

"Good morning, everybody," said Ms. Demeter. "Fructus, I brought you a present."

Fructus' smile died as Demeter pulled a celery stick out of her purse. "I checked the menu to see what was for lunch today, and there aren't any veggies on the menu. So, you must eat that before you do the obstacle course."

Once the obstacle course was set up, Ms. Maia explained the rules. "This will force all of you to take turns," she told the kids. "So, you'll swing on the ropes, jump on the mats, and crawl through the tunnel. Then, you'll come up to me or Ms. Demeter, and we'll ask you a question. When you get the answer right, you can do the obstacle course again."

Theseus, whose stomach was hurting again because of his meds (though not as badly as last night), ran up to Ms. Demeter. "Ms. Demeter," he said, "my tummy hurts again because of my hyper drugs."

"Did you eat your cereal today?"

"No. I don't like cereal lots."

"How _dare_ you not enjoy cereal?!" Demeter screamed.

Theseus' cheeks turned the color of a firetruck (which was Theseus' favorite vehicle of the week, by the way).

"I am disgusted!" Demeter yelled. "Go sit in the office, mister!"

Theseus started to cry and ran down the hallway back to the classroom.

Meanwhile, Rhea and Leto were doing stuff while the kids played games and whatnot. Rhea was putting up paper Santa faces while Leto was putting up Christmas lights.

"Rhea, where's the rest of the tape?" asked Leto.

"There should be some in my drawer," Rhea said.

"I'm craving chocolate," said Leto.

"In my drawer."

Suddenly, they saw someone run into the room.

"Theseus," said Ms. Leto, "why aren't you doing the fun obstacle course?"

Theseus ran to her and cried on her. "M-M-Ms. Demeter said I'm feeling sick because I didn't eat cereal. And she gotted mad at me so she told me to see Ms. Hecate, but I runned here because I'm scared of Ms. Hecate."

"Honey," said Ms. Leto, placing Theseus on her lap and rubbing his back while he sobbed, "first of all, aren't you feeling well?"

"No, 'cause my drugs make me sick to my tummy."

"Okay. And Ms. Demeter told you that you were feeling sick because you didn't eat cereal this morning?"

"Yeah."

"And Ms. Hecate's very nice, honey," said Ms. Rhea. "Do you want to stay here and play with the trucks?"

"No," Theseus said, sobbing more.

"Well, you're in luck," said Ms. Rhea. "Everyone's coming back now."

Bellerophon led the class back into the room. It was too cold to go outside for recess today, so Ms. Rhea decided it would be free time.

Ms. Rhea couldn't find Demeter anywhere, so she made a mental note to tell her what happened to Theseus at the classroom party later.

It turned out that Demeter got into a bit of trouble, so she and Theseus made up (but he was still afraid of her).

SATURDAY OF BREAK

It was finally the day, the day that Andromeda would be going to Disney World to see the princesses! She would've been happier if Cassiopeia wasn't going, but Cassiopeia was driving, so she _had_ to go.

So, at four in the morning, Cepheus woke up his sleeping daughter. "Dromie, let's go see princesses at Disney."

Andromeda mumbled something and rolled over. "Carry me," she finally uttered.

"Okay. Can do," said Cepheus. He picked up Andromeda and carried her downstairs. He sat her on the sofa and covered her up with her blanket. Then, he heaved the suitcases outside: one for Cassiopeia and himself, and one for Andromeda.

Aethra was having a _very_ hard time getting Theseus to wake up. So, Aegeus finally took him and placed him into his car seat.

"Well," Aethra whispered, getting into the passenger's seat, "time to head off to Disney."

"Yep," said Aegeus.

Theseus stirred in his sleep, then gasped. "Where am I?"

"Honey, it's time to head to Disney World," said Aethra. "Should we put on a movie?"

"Yeah," said Theseus. "Can I have a donut?"

"Let's wait a minute, dude," said Aegeus. "What would you like to watch?"

" _The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh_."

"I think we can do that," said Aethra, opening a DVD case and putting the movie into the DVD player. So, Theseus was entertained for the next hour or so while he watched Winnie the Pooh screw up life like he always does.

Meanwhile, Andromeda was watching _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_. "Daddy, the mean queen…she reminds me of Mommy."

"Andromeda!" barked Cassiopeia.

"That _is_ kinda true, Cassiopeia," said Cepheus. "See? Disney's educational."

Cassiopeia rolled her eyes and fell asleep in the front seat. Cepheus handed a donut to Andromeda and continued to drive. (Cassiopeia was _supposed_ to drive, but she made her husband do it because he'd do anything for her.)

Meanwhile, a few cars behind them, Danaë was watching _Aladdin_ with Perseus, and they were singing together.

" _Arabian nights_ ," sang Perseus and Danaë.

Dictys was also singing along from the front seat, when he saw Dunkin' Donuts. "Who wants a donut?"

"I do," Perseus said happily. "Can I get a long john?"

"Sure, kiddo," said Dictys, opening the window for the drive-thru.

Once everyone had gotten their donuts, Danaë and Perseus continued to watch _Aladdin_ , but then Perseus got bored of that movie, so they watched _Finding Nemo_ instead.

About two hours later, everyone ended up meeting at the same rest stop to pee and do other stuff.

"Daddy," Perseus said, "Daddy, I have to poop!"

"Okay, buddy, come with me." And Dictys pulled his kid into the bathroom to take his morning dump.

Meanwhile, in the girls' bathroom, Andromeda was singing "Whistle While You Work" while she peed. Cassiopeia was impatiently tapping her foot while she waited for her daughter to finish.

A woman walked by Andromeda's stall, then turned to Cassiopeia. "Is that your daughter?" she said.

"Unfortunately," said Cassiopeia.

"Oh, she's adorable," said the woman.

"Thanks, I guess," said Cassiopeia.

The woman looked at Cassiopeia like she was a total bitch, and walked out of the bathroom.

Cassiopeia and Andromeda went out into the hallway, where they met up with everyone else. Theseus, as usual, was running around Aethra's legs like a dog; Perseus was counting all the tiles on the floor; and the other people were just standing there, looking tired.

"Mommy, can I have a milkshake?" asked Perseus.

"You can have one for lunch," said Danaë. "It's too early for a milkshake."

Perseus took her hand and they headed back to their car.

Meanwhile, it was almost eight in the morning when Triton decided to wake up. He turned and got scared because Poseidon was sitting in a nearby chair, drinking a cup of kelp coffee.

"Good morning, son," said Poseidon. "I've been sitting here for two hours, just watching you sleep."

"Mommy!" yelled Triton.

"Poseidon!" yelled Amphitrite. "Quit creeping out your son and help me make French toast."

"Yes, Your Majesty." Poseidon rolled his eyes and ran downstairs, dripping green coffee all over the place.

At Phaethon's house, Helios and Phaethon were in the middle of playing hide-and-seek, when Clymene screwed it up because she's that type of person. "I just got a call from Ms. Rhea," she said, panting. "And she wanted to tell me that your behavior's getting better, Phaethon. Is that true?"

"Yeah, Mommy. I sawed Mr. Zeus and we talked about all my problems."

 _Ladies and gents, we interrupt this program with more Perseus-Andromeda-Theseus stories._

It was now Sunday afternoon, and the kids were sick of riding in the car by this point. Danaë and Dictys were telling Perseus silly stories about Nemo and all his friends. Cassiopeia was apologizing to Andromeda for being rude about the whole stop-the-princess-obsession, so everything was fine there. And Aethra and Aegeus were trying to find a park so Theseus could run around and give them some time alone.

Finally, the families arrived at Disney World. It wasn't too hot there because it was winter, but Danaë told Perseus that it got crazy hot during the summer.

Theseus was jumping up and down because Aethra had a surprise for him.

"Hebe and Fructus are coming down, too," she told him.

"Aw, but that means we gotta deal with Hebe's craziness," said Theseus.

"Now, sweetheart," said Aethra, "Hebe doesn't make fun of you because you have a disability, right?"

Theseus shook his dark-haired head.

"So, let's not make fun of her because she has anxiety," said Aethra.

"When are we going to see princesses?" Andromeda asked in the room next door.

"Tomorrow, honey," said Cepheus.

"But that's so freakin' far away," said Andromeda.

"Who taught you that word?" Cassiopeia asked.

"Mr. P did. He teached me all sorts of naughty words."

"Like what?" asked Cassiopeia.

"That word that rhymes with _duck_ ," said Andromeda. "It starts with an F."

Cepheus snorted. "Cass, cover her ears."

Cassiopeia covered Andromeda's ears.

Cepheus looked at his wife. "The best cuss word of all time. Okay, let Dromie go."

"What else did Mr. P teach you?" asked Cassiopeia.

"He tolded me Ms. Danaë was a sexy bitch," said Andromeda.

"Okay, that's the last time Mr. P's taking care of you," said Cepheus.

"What's a bitch?" asked Andromeda.

"A word that you shouldn't say," said Cassiopeia.

"But Daddy used to tell me you were one."

Cepheus had the _oh crap_ look on his face, but Andromeda caught herself and said quickly, "I'm kidding. Daddy's too nice. He would _never_ say that to you."

Cassiopeia relaxed, but Cepheus' pulse was still high. He called Cassiopeia a bitch behind her back all the time.

Meanwhile, Perseus was throwing a fit because he wanted to go fishing (because they were at a hotel overlooking a lake).

"Dude, we're not here to go fishing," said Dictys. "We're going to ride Disney stuff for a few days."

Perseus thrashed in his father's arms.

"When we get back home," said Dictys, "you can help me in the fishing store."

Perseus gave in.

The following morning, Aegeus' stupid, dumb, pain-in-the-ass phone woke everyone up. Hebe, Fructus, and their families arrived later last night, so they all went out to dinner together. Now, everyone was pretty tired, but they were excited to see the rides and go on them.

Demeter was handing out little cups of cereal to each of the kids, promising this would keep them full until lunchtime. "This should also keep you regular."

"What?" asked Andromeda.

"It'll help you poop," said Demeter.

Theseus waited till Demeter had her back turned, then dumped his cereal on the ground. "I hate your mommy," he told Fructus.

"Me, too," said Fructus, holding Hebe's hand.

"Hey, kids!"

Two tall dudes wandered up to them. Everyone was standing by the bus station, waiting for the bus to Magic Kingdom.

"Uh…" Perseus looked at Andromeda. "Guys…that's Uncle P and Grandpa A."

Sure enough, Acrisius and Polydectes stepped out of the bushes like a couple of perverts.

"Daddy!" squealed Perseus.

"Don't worry," said Dictys. "They're not here for you. Well…while we go to Epcot and stuff tomorrow, you're all going back to Magic Kingdom and they'll watch you there."

Hebe looked glumly at Mommy Hera. "Mommy," she whined, "I wish Ms. Rhea was here, too."

"I know, honey. But Ms. Rhea is going to have the Christmas party at her house, so she _needs_ to stay home."

"But what about Ms. Leto?"

"What does Mommy say about Ms. Leto?"

"She's a fat, heartless, piece-of-crap lover of Daddy."

"Good job, honey."

Cassiopeia and Cepheus were now sitting on the bus with Andromeda between them. Andromeda was a good girl and ate her cereal, while everyone else threw theirs away…including Fructus.

"Uncle Zeus," said Fructus, "do you gots any food?"

Zeus rummaged through Hera's purse. "Sorry, kid," he said. "I only have condoms in here."

Hera slapped him across the face. " _What_?"

"Does this surprise you, Hera?" Zeus asked calmly.

Hera shrugged. "I guess not."

"What's a condom?" asked Perseus.

Danaë glowered at Zeus. "Nothing," she said, her teeth clenched.

"You know, Danaë," said Zeus calmly, "you'll get jaw problems if you do that. Asclepius told me that if I clench my teeth, I should just relax and chill."

"You're an idiot."

"I'm a _kingly_ idiot."

They finally reached Magic Kingdom after about a fifteen-minute ride. By this point, Andromeda was bouncing in her seat, squealing, "PRINCESSES! PRINCESSES!"

Cassiopeia glared at Andromeda, then gave everyone else an apologetic smile. "Sorry. She's got a problem with princesses."

Polydectes nudged Acrisius in the ribs. "Dude, the only princess here I like is Danaë."

"Hee, hee, hee," Acrisius snickered.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said the driver of the bus into the microphone, "we are now entering the Magic Kingdom—"

"PRINCESSES!"

"Sit the hell down, Andromeda!"

"Please watch your step," said the driver, "and enjoy the rest of your day here at the Magic Kingdom!"

MS. RHEA'S HOUSE

Let's pretend that we fast-forwarded a lot and are now on the day Ms. Rhea was throwing her big party for her kindergarteners.

The doorbell rang, revealing Ms. Leto in a red shirt and jeans, carrying a plate of brownies.

"Oh, Leto," said Rhea, "the kids will _love_ these."

"You think so?"

"Absolutely," said Rhea. "Hi, kids!"

Phaethon, Bellerophon, and Jason all ran up to their teachers, gave them hugs, then stepped inside the house.

"Ms. Rhea, do you have names for your fish?" asked Phaethon.

"I do," said Ms. Rhea. "The goldfish's name is Bubbles."

Bubbles swam away from Ms. Rhea.

Ms. Rhea chuckled and continued to name off her fish. "The pink one is named Pinky."

Pinky showed the kids so fish dance moves.

"And the blue one is named Childbirth."

"Why?" asked Jason.

"Because when Hebe came over one time, we couldn't figure out a name. Hebe just came from watching Eileithyia help some girls have their babies, so that's where it came from."

Childbirth looked at Ms. Rhea, like, _My name sucks. Please change it_.

"Can we change it?" asked Bellerophon.

"We don't want to upset Hebe," said Ms. Rhea gently. "Now, I see you boys have gifts. Go put them under the tree and then you can go into the basement for our fun games."

Once everyone had arrived at Ms. Rhea's house (the entire class, their parents, and the staff at school, minus the five kids who were in Florida), Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto got the kids to gather in a circle around them for some games.

"Apollo!" yelled Ms. Leto. "Get off your phone!"

Apollo responded with:

" _This party is bull._

 _Not sure why I have a kid._

 _She's boring and stuff_."

Ms. Leto made sure the kids were facing away from her. Then, she whacked Apollo across the face. "Eurydice is _not_ boring, Apollo," she scolded.

"Our first game," said Ms. Rhea, "is called Pin the Nose on Rudolph. I'll give you a fake nose with tape on the back, and we'll spin you around. Then, you can go up there and put it where you think it goes."

Bellerophon headed up first, spun around, then pinned Rudolph's nose…on Rudolph's butt.

The class cracked up. Ms. Rhea looked at Bellerophon, whose face looked sad. "Good try, sweetie. It's just a game."

A few stupid games later, it was finally time for Secret Godly Santa.

"Cyrene, you're up first, dear," said Ms. Rhea.

Cyrene walked over to Atalanta, who smiled as she took the big box. When she opened it, out fell a Nerf gun.

"Cool," said Atalanta. "Thanks, Cyrene!"

"You're welcome," said Cyrene, giving Atalanta a high-five.

"I should shoot everyone," said Atalanta.

MAGIC KINGDOM

"Now," said Demeter in her usual nagging tone, "the adults are going to go off somewhere for a while, but we'll be back later. In the meantime, Mr. Acrisius and Mr. Polydectes will be watching you five."

Theseus looked at Fructus. "I hate your mommy."

"Me, too," said Fructus. "I hate cereal, I hate farming, and I hate hearing agriculture words while they're sleeping."

"They sleep-talk?"

"Yeah. It totally sucks."

Danaë caught Uncle P's eye at the wrong time, so she was now in deep trouble. "Uh…let's go to the Haunted Mansion first."

"Mommy," whined Perseus, "I don't wanna be with Uncle P the perv."

"Where on Gaea's surface did you hear that word?" asked Danaë.

"Phaethon told me that Uncle P's a perv."

"Uncle P isn't a perv. And don't listen to anything naughty Phaethon tells you, honey."

After the adults ran off, Uncle P and Grandpa A decided to take the kids to Splash Mountain.

"Good morning, sir," said a Cast Member. "How may I help you today?"

Uncle P looked at the woman. "Guys," he told the kids, "I heard that they can't point here. So, they do everything with their hands." He looked at the Cast Member. "Yeah, we're looking for Splash Mountain."

The woman pointed, with her hand, to the left. "Right that way, sir."

Uncle P and Grandpa A led the kids to the entrance to Splash Mountain, where they ran into their parents, who'd decided to go on that ride as well.

The cranky Cast Member at the front of the line was directing traffic. "How many?" she barked, pointing at Zeus.

"I AM THE KING OF THE F-ING UNIVERSE!" Zeus screamed at her. "DO NOT INTERROGATE ME, MORTAL!"

The Cast Member, whose name was Clarisse (she was doing an internship here for some reason), bowed. "Sorry, Your Majesty," she said in a surly tone. "How many logs would you like?"

"There are seventeen of us," Zeus snapped at her.

"Rows one through eight," snapped Clarisse. "Who the hell's next? I'm not happy about my job here!"

"What a bitch," said Zeus in Trip's ear.

"Yeah," Trip agreed. "She should go into farming. It builds self-esteem, and it's good for the soul."

Zeus rolled his eyes and grabbed Hebe's hand. "Sit with your father, for he is a powerful king."

Uncle P and Grandpa A hogged the back row, while everyone else and their families hogged the other rows. Fructus was squished between Demeter and Triptolemus, who were trying to entertain their son by singing "Animal Fair". Fructus started mumbling Latin and Greek cuss words and his parents didn't even hear him…but Hebe did…and it made her giggle quietly.

Just then, the Cast Members came around and put the safety bars down. And they were off!

When they came to the first hill, _everybody_ screamed. Uncle P and Grandpa A were taking selfies, until someone from the intercom told them that the ride would stop if they didn't stop taking their selfies.

"Hey, kids," called Uncle P as they were going up the big hill, "we're probably all gonna die…so I hope you all were good so you can go to Elysium."

"Is that true, Mommy?" asked Hebe.

"Stop it," Hera barked. "You're making Hebe anxious. No, honey. If this ride wasn't safe, they wouldn't have opened it."

After the ride was over, everyone thought they'd go with Andromeda's family to meet the princesses. When Andromeda saw Cinderella and Belle, she flipped out…big time.

"Belle! She's my favorite, guys!"

"Cinderella," Hebe breathed.

Andromeda ran to Belle, who was busy hugging another kid. "Belle! I wants a hug, too!"

Belle, who had just seen the other kid off, looked at Andromeda. She gave Andromeda a smile.

"I'm a princess, too," Andromeda bragged. "I have lots and lots of posters of princesses in my bedroom. My bedroom is pink, my bed is white with curly-cue thingies on it, and my walls are pink, and my toothbrush is pink…"

Cassiopeia came over to her daughter. "Hi, Belle. Can we get a picture?"

Belle giggled, and walked away.

"Hey!" yelled Andromeda. "I wants a hug!"

"Maybe she'll want a hug later," said Cassiopeia.

"But we'll be gone later," said Andromeda. She was doing that scrunched-up face thing she did before she cries.

Cassiopeia took her over to Cinderella, who gave Andromeda a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

When Andromeda had had her fill of princesses, they decided to leave and grab some food. They passed Belle as they were leaving, so Andromeda yelled, "Screw you, Belle! I hate you and I hope the beast eats you and all your dumb books!"

"Andromeda," Cassiopeia gasped. "I'm sorry for my daughter's behavior."

Then, there was a horrible cry of, "THESEUS?!"

Aethra was in a panic because she wasn't watching Theseus. And he ran somewhere…and she didn't know where he went.

"Where did he go?" Aethra cried.

"Honey, I'll go look for him," said Aegeus. "He probably ran off somewhere close by."

Meanwhile, Theseus ran off because that princess thing was too girly for him.

Theseus was walking around, when he noticed a bunch of food carts. Let's see…what could he eat that would make him totally hyper? Churros! Theseus loved churros!

Theseus ran up to the guy who was selling the churros. "Hi," said Theseus.

"Hi, little guy," said the guy. "How's it going?"

"Great. My friends are meeting these stupid princesses, so I ran away because I was bored. But then I saw all these churros, and I love churros!"

"What's your name, kid?"

"My name is—"

"Theseus!"

Aegeus came running down the path.

"Like the hero?" asked the guy.

"I'm only a hero when I play pretend," Theseus explained. "Daddy, can I please have a churro?"

"Why are you running off?" Aegeus asked as calmly as he could. "Mommy's worried sick over you."

Theseus got this image of Aethra worrying about him so bad that she had a fever and the sniffles. "Those princesses are boring," he said sheepishly.

"I see," said Aegeus. "Want to split a churro with Daddy?"

"Yeah."

After Aegeus and Theseus ate the churro, they met the rest of the group by Pirates of the Caribbean.

"Daddy," Andromeda complained, "Daddy, I'm really scared."

"Princess, it's okay. You can sit next to me and Perseus if you'd like."

But Uncle P grabbed Perseus' hand. "Not today, little girl," he said in a creepy voice. "Perseus is riding with me this time."

Andromeda decided to sit next to Hebe. "Are you and Ms. Rhea family?"

"Yeah," said Hebe. "She's my grandma."

"Does she spoil you rotten when you come over?"

"Yeah. She gives me candy till I puke," said Hebe happily.

"Does she ever get mad at you?"

"No. She's always yelling at Daddy for using bad words in front of me."

"Next time you see her, can I come over?" asked Andromeda. "I never knew my grandma because she died or something."

"Sure. Maybe we'll play princess castle!" Hebe squealed.

"Okay," said Andromeda happily.

Before they knew it, it was time for lunch. The families went to a small restaurant, and ordered Uncle P and Grandpa A to watch their kids while they went to get food.

"Dromie, what do you want?" asked Cassiopeia.

"I want some chicken nuggets and fries and a pop!"

"Okay. I'll see what I can do." And she ran off.

Once the parents took their kids' orders, they headed to the lunch line.

Meanwhile, Uncle P and Grandpa A stared the kids down with evil eyes. Finally, Uncle P broke the ice. "When we go on Space Mountain later," he was saying, "I'd advise all of you kiddos to pray to the rollercoaster god."

"Who's the rollercoaster god?" asked Hebe.

"Well, we grown-ups call him Rollercoasterus," said Acrisius, "but you guys can just call him the rollercoaster god. If you don't pray to him—well, let's just say he won't let you off the ride."

"Huh?" asked Andromeda.

"Don't you get it?" asked Polydectes. "If you don't pray to the rollercoaster god, you die on the rollercoaster."

Hebe and Andromeda stared at him.

"You're stupid," Hebe observed casually.

"I may be stupid," said Polydectes. "But I'm _way_ smarter than you."

"Your breath smells like rotting garbage," said Perseus.

Uncle P let out a sigh, and all the kids pinched their noses in disgust.

Just then, the parents came back with their kids' meals. Fructus, as usual, was being forced to eat nothing but healthy crap. Hebe and Andromeda both ordered chicken nuggets, while Theseus and Perseus each got some mac-and-cheese and fries.

"Daddy," said Andromeda, "before we go on Space Mountain, we have to pray to the rollercoaster god."

"What?" asked Cepheus.

"The rollercoaster god," Andromeda repeated. "He's the one who makes sure you're safe on rollercoasters."

Cepheus let out a laugh that told Andromeda he wasn't taking her seriously.

"It's not funny," Hebe insisted. "Rollercoasterus will kill us if we don't pray to him."

"I wonder who told you that," said Danaë, glaring at the ass-faces in the group.

"We did," said Acrisius.

"Theseus, put your shirt back on!" Aethra yelled at her son.

Theseus sighed and put his shirt back on. He took his position between Perseus and Fructus. "I'm bored now," Theseus said miserably.

"Dude, we'll be leaving in a bit to go on Winnie the Pooh," said Fructus. "Calm down. Did you take your meds this morning?"

"Yeah," said Theseus angrily. "I _hate_ med time."

"I hate breakfast," said Fructus. "I've never eaten a waffle before."

"You've never eaten a waffle? That's so weird," said Andromeda. "Waffles are delicious!"

"Yeah. That jerk Phaethon is always bragging about how his mommy gives him waffles every day for breakfast," snapped Fructus.

"But we don't like Phaethon," said Perseus, "so it doesn't matter."

Hebe was shoveling food into her mouth, but Hera said, "Hebe, honey, you have to eat slower or you'll be sick to your tummy."

Hebe sighed and began to eat slower.

Meanwhile, back on Olympus and stuff, everyone was getting ready for Godly Santa to come and give gifts to people.

At Psyche's house, Hedone was busy watching Eros put up some last-minute lights on the tree.

"Hedone," said Psyche calmly, "let's go get our jammies on." And she led her daughter upstairs and into her bathroom.

"Mommy," said Hedone as Psyche put her into a pair of pink footy pajamas, "do we _have_ to go to Grandma Aphro's house tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sweetie," said Psyche sadly. "But I'm sure there'll be lots of things to play with tomorrow at her house." She looked at Hedone, who had her mouth open. Her tongue was resting on her new loose tooth.

"Make it come out, Mommy," Hedone begged.

"Stop worrying. It's not ready yet," said Psyche.

Eros came into the bathroom. "Ready for bedtime, princess?"

"Yeah," said Hedone.

 **CHRISTMAS DAY**

It was five-thirty on Christmas Day when Hedone decided to wake up her parents. She did what she usually did: she snuggled in between them and kicked him awake.

"Cannonball," Eros said in his sleep, and he rolled over and started snoring again.

"I'm the village crazy lady," said Psyche. (Yes, she somehow had _Moana_ stuck in her head.)

"Hey," Hedone said, whispering in her parents' ears, "wake your asses up!"

Eros rolled over. "Good morning, honey."

"Happy morning time," said Hedone. "It's also presents time!"

"That's right," Psyche said, yawning.

Meanwhile, at everyone else's houses, little gods and heroes were opening presents. It was a completely different story in Florida.

"Mommy?" asked Andromeda. "Why do we gotta leave _today_?"

"Honey, Mommy told you," said Cassiopeia. "Everyone has to get back in time for work."

"But it's Christmas," said Andromeda. "We should be sleeping and drinking hot chocolate and eating pancakes on Christmas."

Andromeda was in a bad mood because she woke up and didn't find any presents. Cepheus then reminded her that Godly Santa wasn't able to visit hotels, so Godly Santa dropped off all the presents last night, and they were waiting for Andromeda at home.

Theseus, on the other hand, didn't care. Having seen Disney and all its glory, he was ready to get home…as was Perseus. Perseus thought that if he heard one more thing about princesses, he'd ask Uncle P to bake him in a pie.

Hebe and Fructus had gotten into an argument and weren't talking to each other now.

"Hebe, did Fructus hurt your feelings?" asked Hera.

"Yeah. He said he hates me because I like Cheerios. And Fructus _hates_ Cheerios."

 **TWO WEEKS LATER…**

Everyone was anxious to get back to school. Winter break didn't go as well as they'd hoped.

It was eight when Ms. Rhea walked into the classroom. She set her things down on the desk and looked at her planner. She was due to teach a lesson on the letter R today, but she didn't have anything prepared.

The door creaked open and Leto walked in. "Good morning," she said.

"Good morning," said Rhea cheerfully. "I totally forgot we're teaching R this week."

"Well…talk about how _your_ name starts with R," Leto suggested. "That's how we introduced L."

Rhea looked through her lesson binder, then found a few things that started with the letter R. "Oh, Leto, I guess Hebe's sick, so she won't be here today."

"What's the matter?"

"Bad cold," said Rhea.

The kids started coming into the room…and all of them looked tired and grouchy because it was winter and everyone had Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto did circle time, taught the letter R, then gave the kids a worksheet to do while Ms. Rhea put on some happy music.

"Bellerophon, what's this word?" asked Ms. Rhea.

" _Run_ ," said Bellerophon. "That's what I do when I'm hyper. I run around my house. Sometimes I run too fast, and Mommy and Daddy send me to the naughty chair."

"I have a naughty chair, too," said Phaethon as he drew a sloppy R on the back of his worksheet. "I go there a lot."

The first day back to school went well. Ms. Rhea gave the kids homework, but no one seemed to mind it too much. It was too cold outside to play.

 **Okay, there's the Christmas chapter that did NOT go according to plan. Question time: I know I've been doing a lot of Andromeda/Perseus/Theseus friendship stuff, so which kids should I keep writing about? I think I'll give those three a break for a while.**


	23. Chapter 22: The New Kid

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone! I'd like to keep this story going through first-grade if I could…maybe even an epilogue when they're all in high school…that would be fun to write!**

 **I own nothing!**

 **CHAPTER 22**

It was the second week back from Christmas break. Since it was Wednesday (and Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto were disorganized that week), it was time for a new letter of the week: T. Theseus woke up that morning feeling excited. Last night, Mommy told him that his name started with a T.

Everyone walked into school, wearing long sleeves and pants (Andromeda and Hebe wore skirts that day).

"Good morning, everyone!" Ms. Leto said cheerfully. "Who wants to share what they did this weekend? Phaethon, thank you for raising your hand."

"Ms. Leto, I gots my first loose tooth," Phaethon said.

"Congrats," said Ms. Leto. "You'll be a big boy soon. Who else would like to share? Eurydice."

"We made pizza," Eurydice said.

"That sounds fun," said Ms. Rhea. "Now, boys and girls, we're going to have you meet someone. Phaedra, do you want to come up here?"

A tiny girl in a dress walked up nervously to Ms. Rhea.

"Everyone, this is Phaedra, and she's our new student," said Mrs. Rhea. "Phaedra…let's see…tell us something fun you did over break."

"I went sledding," said Phaedra timidly.

"Was it fun?" asked Fructus.

"Yeah. I think I saw you, Fructose."

"It's actually Fructus, but that's okay."

"Okay, class," said Ms. Rhea. "It might take a bit of time until Phaedra knows your names, so make sure you play with her today during playtime."

Theseus looked at Atalanta, and shook his head.

While the rest of the class headed to their seats, Theseus took Atalanta aside and held her hands. "Listen, baby, I don't think this is gonna work out."

"Why?"

"Because I don't likes you anymore," Theseus explained. "I mean, you're pretty and everything, but I like Phaedra now."

Atalanta shrugged. "Whatever. You're a boy, and boys are yucky anyway."

Theseus smiled at her. "Glad we understand each other," he said.

"Guys," called Ms. Rhea, "let's come to our tables, please."

Once the class sat down at their tables, Ms. Leto and Ms. Rhea stood in front of the tables and talked about the letter T.

"What does the T say?" asked Ms. Leto. "Eurydice?"

" _T-t-t_ ," said Eurydice.

"Very good, honey," said Ms. Leto. "Now, if you think you have a T in your name, stand up."

All the kids with Ts in their names stood their butts up.

"Hebe, I don't think you have a T in your name," said Ms. Rhea.

"But Fructus does," Hebe retorted.

"But your name isn't _Fructus_ ," Ms. Rhea said.

Hebe said down sadly.

"If you have a T in your name, good work," said Ms. Leto. "So, we're going to come around with a piece of paper, but don't draw anything on it yet."

After the teachers passed out the papers, Ms. Rhea continued. "Since everyone is doing so well with their letters, we thought you all might be able to write your names."

The class stared at her.

"We'll come around and help," said Ms. Leto. "Just raise your hand."

"Ms. Leto, I don't know all the letters yet," said Andromeda.

"Yeah. There's, like, a lot more to go," said Hedone.

"Shh," said Ms. Leto as calmly as she could. "Just try, girls."

Hedone sighed and began writing the H in her name.

While the rest of the class was silent, Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto were at their desks. Ms. Rhea was writing an email when Phaethon walked up to her. "Ms. Rhea?"

"Hi, Phaethon. What's up?"

"Um…can you help me with the O?"

"Sure," said Ms. Rhea. She took Phaethon's paper. "See? It's just like a big circle."

"Oh…okay," said Phaethon.

"Ms. Rhea," said Theseus, "what's this letter?" And he pointed to the U in his name.

"That's a U, dear," said Ms. Rhea. "It looks like a big smile."

The class did very well with writing their names. So, while Ms. Leto took the kids outside for recess, Ms. Rhea put up their names on the bulletin board outside the classroom. Then, she went to see Ms. Hecate.

"Hey, guys," she said as she walked into the office.

Danaë and Hecate smiled up at her. "Oh, we have the new first-grade teachers for next year," said Hecate.

"Who are they?" asked Rhea.

"We have Miss McLean, and then we have Miss Levesque."

"Wow. Never thought demigods would be helping here," said Rhea. "So…Piper and Hazel have their degrees?"

"No. But they'll be getting them from New Rome this year," said Danaë.

"Hecate?" asked Ms. Leto's voice over the intercom. "Is Rhea with you?"

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

"Something happened to Phaethon on the playground."

"I'll be right there, Leto."

When Rhea got outside, she found a group of kids gathered around the tire swing. "Kids, stay here," Ms. Rhea said. "Who's hurt?"

"Ms. Rhea, Phaethon fell off the swing," said Phobos.

Sure enough, Phaethon was lying on the ground with little blood droplets on the snow.

"Phaethon, sit up, honey," said Ms. Rhea, pulling her student into a sitting position.

Phaethon looked up at her. "Ms. Rhea, I'm bleeding."

"I know, sweetie. Looks like you knocked a tooth out."

"Yeah. It's my new loose one," said Phaethon.

"C'mon. Let's go see Ms. Gaea."

Ms. Gaea had her feet on her desk and was busy talking on the phone. "I know," she was saying. "I told him you are _not_ allowed to eat anymore strawberries…but he did."

Ms. Rhea knocked.

"Who is it?" barked Ms. Gaea. "I'm extremely busy right now!"

"It's Phaethon," said Ms. Rhea. "He lost his tooth on the playground."

"He's bleeding on my floor," snapped Ms. Gaea.

"Mother," snapped Ms. Rhea, "you need to be nicer to these kids! Kids don't like anything to do with medical procedures!"

"Here, then," said Ms. Gaea. "I quit. Find someone else!"

Ms. Rhea stood there, holding Phaethon's hand. "C'mon, sweetheart," she said. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Meanwhile, the rest of the kids were in the classroom having some free time. Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto were about to split the kids up into reading groups, but since Ms. Rhea wasn't there, Ms. Leto didn't want to screw anything up.

When Ms. Rhea and Phaethon finally entered the classroom, the teachers split the kids up into groups.

Ms. Rhea's group was sitting around a semicircle table, learning the vowels and their sounds.

"What does an A say?" asked Ms. Rhea. "Andromeda?"

"Um…is A the one that begins my name?" asked Andromeda.

"Yes, hon."

"The A says _ah_ ," said Andromeda.

"Very good," said Ms. Rhea. "It sort of sounds like you're screaming. Now, an E says…Orpheus?"

" _Ee_ and _eh_ ," said Orpheus.

"Bravo," said Ms. Rhea. "What're these words?" She held up a card that said _ice cream_ on it. The kids had it easy because they saw the ice cream cone below the words. "Perseus?"

"That's ice cream," said Perseus.

"Very good. That's what the I says," said Ms. Rhea. "You guys are doing awesome!"

Meanwhile, Ms. Leto was doing a read aloud to the kids.

"Why do you think he woke up?" asked Ms. Leto. "Hebe?"

"Because he was scared," Hebe said, putting her little hand down.

"Very good," said Ms. Leto. "What do you do when you're scared? Phaedra?"

"I scream and run everywhere," said Phaedra.

"Everyone," said Ms. Rhea from the other side of the room, "it's lunchtime now…and then, we'll have our nap. Then, it'll be time for art class."

Miss Hestia walked around the classroom, giving students grilled cheese sandwiches with little bowls of tomato soup and crackers on the side.

"When you're done, please throw your stuff away and go get your cots," said Ms. Leto.

"Ms. Leto, I forgot to take my meds this morning," said Hebe. "I have to go to Ms. Gaea."

"Okay, Hebe. Come with me."

"Leto," said Ms. Rhea, "Ms. Gaea quit, so there's no nurse."

"Ooh." Ms. Leto sucked her breath in quickly. "That's okay. I'll just give it to her."

Meanwhile, the rest of the class had naptime and Ms. Rhea wrote down progress report notes in the kids' files.

Soon after naptime, it was time for art class. Ms. Leto walked around with the magic lightning bolt, waking all the kids up. Then, she chose that day's line-leader.

"Phaedra," said Ms. Leto, "since you're our new friend, you should be today's line-leader."

Phaedra nodded nervously, took Ms. Leto's hand, then headed down to the preschool room for art.

"Good afternoon, class," said Ms. Medusa, glancing around at the puny kiddos from behind her sunglasses. "Today, we'll be painting…WHAT, PERSEUS?"

"We painted last week."

"We're in the middle of our painting unit," snarled Ms. Medusa. "So, shut up and get your smocks on!"

Ms. Arachne walked into the room in her human form. She had been granted her human form from Athena on Wednesdays so she wouldn't scare the kids.

"When you have your smocks on," said Ms. Medusa, "come to me and I will give you one color of paint. You will paint something with this one color. If your picture is good, we shall let you live. If not…" She smirked at the kids. "We'll decide once that moment comes. Get to it!"

Art class was quiet because all the kids were trying to paint good pictures so they would live. Andromeda, who got pink today, was painting cotton candy on a pink stick. Phaethon got yellow, so he was painting a sun. And Phaedra got purple, but she couldn't think of anything to paint.

A half-hour later, Ms. Medusa and Ms. Arachne came around to look at the kids' pictures.

"Phaedra, what have _you_ made?" asked Ms. Arachne.

"Uh…a spider," said Phaedra.

"That's wonderful," said Ms. Arachne, "except spiders aren't purple. Ms. Medusa, what is her punishment?"

"You can eat her," said Ms. Medusa. "I don't like turning kids to stone unless I _really_ have to."

Phaedra looked, wide-eyed, at Ms. Arachne. "Please don't eat me," she begged.

"I'm afraid I'll have to," said Ms. Arachne.

Fortunately for Phaedra, Ms. Rhea came to get the kids from art class. Phaedra sadly took her teacher's hand and walked back to class.

Ms. Leto quickly told Phaedra how to do reflection time, and then she gave Phaedra her own journal. Inside, Phaedra drew a picture of a big girl eating a little girl.

"What is that, dear?" asked Ms. Leto.

"We were supposed to get one color to paint with in art," Phaedra said, a lump forming in her throat. "Ms. Medusa gave me purple, so I painted a spider. But I didn't do it right, so Ms. Arachne said she'd eat me."

"Hmm," said Ms. Leto. "Don't worry about that, sweetie-pie. We'll make sure that doesn't happen." She bent down to give Phaedra a big hug. "Don't cry, honey. It'll be okay."

Everyone cleared out of the classroom quickly. The only kids who were still there were Perseus and Phaethon.

Helios walked into the classroom. "Hey, boys. Perseus, Mommy has to stay here for a meeting, so you'll be hanging out with us for the night."

"Cool," said Perseus. So, the boys took Helios' hands and headed back to Phaethon's house for dinner.

Meanwhile, Hecate, Danaë, and Hestia came into the classroom.

"Emergency meeting," said Hecate.

Rhea and Leto, who were putting up red and pink hearts, looked at her. "Everything okay?" asked Rhea.

"Not really," said Danaë.

"Well, let's talk," said Leto. "We can sit at these tables."

The five women sat down at the insanely small tables.

"Okay," Rhea said. "What's going on?"

"Well," said Hecate, "we've noticed quite a few problems with teachers lately."

"You don't say," said Leto. "Gaea quit today, and Phaedra was in tears over the art teachers."

"Yeah, she told us about Medusa and Arachne," said Danaë. "So, we'll need to get some new people. Hestia, I think you should be the nurse again."

"I'd love to, really. But I'd much prefer cooking," Hestia said.

"That's fine," said Hecate. "Well…we'll need to hire a new nurse, two new art teachers, and…I think we'll let Demeter go as well."

"What's wrong with Demeter?" asked Rhea.

Everyone stared at her.

"Cereal?" asked Rhea.

"Yeah," said Hestia.

"Oh…right."

"So, should we keep Ares?" asked Hecate.

"Just keep him. We're running out of people," said Rhea.

"Gotchya," said Hecate. "Ares stays. Demeter, Medusa, Arachne, and Gaea are gone."

"I'm sure Persephone could teach Mythology by herself," said Leto.

"So…Athena would be the new art teacher?" asked Danaë.

"Right," said Leto.

"Aethra can teach PE if she became stricter," said Leto. "But it doesn't matter because Ares is staying."

"I think Psyche should be the nurse," said Hestia. "She knows at least half the class, and she's calm, which is what a nurse should be."

"Okay," said Hecate. "Then, it's settled. Psyche is the new school nurse; Demeter, Medusa, and Arachne are gone; and Athena is the new art teacher, allowing Persephone to have a class all to herself. I will inform everyone in the email list."

The following morning, Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto made the announcement about the switching of teachers. The entire class cheered.

"I know it's exciting," said Ms. Rhea, "but let's try to be a little nicer about it."

Hebe raised her hand. "Daddy didn't give me my meds again because he's an ass-face."

"Hebe, that's not nice," scolded Ms. Leto.

"Mommy called you _bitch_ , like, seventy times last night," said Hebe.

"Hebe, let's go see Ms. Psyche," said Ms. Rhea. "Ms. Leto, it's your turn to do the read-aloud."

"Okay, everybody," said Ms. Leto. She held up _The Napping House_. "Let's put on our listening ears."

Ms. Rhea pulled Hebe into the nurse's office, where Psyche was typing something on the computer.

"Morning," said Ms. Psyche. "Just trying to familiarize myself with everyone's needs. So," she said, looking at the girls, "what can I do for you today, Hebe?"

"Ms. Psyche," said Hebe, bouncing on the balls of her feet, "can you please give me my meds? Mr. Eros said they'll make me calmer inside so I don't feel scared all the time."

Ms. Psyche smiled and went to the medicine cabinet. She pulled out a bottle and a medicine cup. "One of these," she muttered to herself, pouring a blue liquid into the cup. "Here, sweetie."

Hebe pinched her nose and swallowed the mint-flavored medication. Psyche handed her a glass of water, which Hebe swallowed to take away the taste. "All better," Hebe said happily.

"Great," said Psyche. "See you later, girls."

The day went on from there. Some kids continued to practice writing their names, while other kids were learning more about letter sounds.

Eurydice was having a tough time writing her name, because she didn't know U and Y yet. But Orpheus was a helper that day, so he helped her write a U, while Ms. Rhea helped her with the Y.

Once naptime was over, the class lined up at the door for Mythology.

After yesterday's ordeal in art class, Phaedra was glued to Ms. Rhea, so both teachers had to walk the class down to Mythology.

"Hi, guys," said Ms. Persephone, who was standing just inside the classroom.

"Hi, Ms. P," said Bellerophon, whacking Persephone in the stomach as he tried to give her a hug. "Oops. Sorry."

"It's okay, honey," said Ms. P. "Well, class, please sit on the carpet."

"Ms. Persephone," said Atalanta, "where's Ms. Athena?"

"Ms. Athena's going to be the new art teacher," said Persephone.

"Okay," said Atalanta. "I didn't like Ms. Medusa and Ms. Arachne."

"Anyway," Persephone said quickly, "we're going to do a new myth today." She flipped over a large piece of paper on the circle time easel, which told the class which myth they'd be studying this week. "This week's myth is Apollo and Daphne."

Ms. Persephone told the class that Apollo loved a beautiful nymph named Daphne, but Daphne didn't love him back. So, Apollo chased her into the woods, but Daphne changed into a laurel tree.

"So, guys," said Ms. Persephone, "we're all going to go to the gym to act it out. I'm going to pair you up with a person of the opposite sex."

Hebe giggled. "Hey, Fructus, she said _sex_."

"I know. Uncle Zeus likes sex."

"Guys, listen, please," Ms. Persephone chided. "Hebe and Fructus, since you two like each other a lot, you'll be paired."

Fructus grabbed Hebe's hand. "Okay," he said.

Once everyone got to the gym, Ms. Persephone paired everyone up. Theseus was with the new love of his life: Phaedra. Perseus was with Andromeda (no surprise there). Orpheus was with Eurydice. All the other kids were paired as well.

"Now, boys, pretend you're Apollo and you're going to chase after Daphne," said Persephone. "Girls, pretend you're Daphne and run around the gym. When you think you've done enough running, sit on the ground and I'll come over to you with a laurel wreath. So, you'll put that on your head. Once everyone's done, we'll head back to the classroom."

Ms. Persephone turned on some upbeat music, and the class began to run. Finally, Phaethon caught Atalanta by the ankle, causing her to fall on her stomach. "Sorry," Phaethon said.

"It's okay," said Atalanta, standing up and rubbing her tummy.

"Did I hurt you lots?"

"Nah. I think I'll live."

Phaethon gave her a hug, then forced her hand up in the air. Persephone handed Atalanta a wreath.

A few feet away, Eurydice and Orpheus were on the ground, too, so Persephone handed them a laurel wreath.

Theseus was having a blast chasing Phaedra around. It was easy for Theseus to connect to the myth, because he was madly in love with Phaedra.

"Okay, it looks like you guys grasped the myth perfectly," said Persephone. She turned to Theseus. "Theseus, it's not wrestling class. Please get off Phaedra."

"But I love her!" Theseus whined.

"Off!" Persephone barked.

Theseus got off Phaedra and the class followed Persephone back to the classroom, where Ms. Rhea was waiting.

"Did you all have fun today?" asked Ms. Rhea.

"Yes," said Bellerophon.

Suddenly, Ms. Hecate's voice came over the loudspeaker. "Teachers, please come to the office after school today for a meeting."

Once all the kids went home, Ms. Hecate sat down with Rhea and Leto.

"It has come to my attention," Hecate said dramatically, "that we were supposed to do a fire drill in September, and we didn't."

Rhea and Leto looked at her.

"Yeah. I suck," said Hecate. "Anyway, we're doing one tomorrow, but I'm not gonna tell you when because that defeats the purpose. It'll happen sometime in the morning. I'll send an email to all the parents tonight."

"Okay," said Rhea and Leto.

"The next holiday coming up is Valentine's Day," said Hecate. "So, please remind the kids to bring their cards and candy in a couple weeks."

"Got it," said Rhea and Leto.

"One more thing," said Hecate, looking through her notes. "It looks like the kids enjoyed the waterpark last year."

"Psyche and Danaë said it was a success," said Leto.

"We could either do that," said Hecate, " _or_ we could have the kids decide between Silly Sprinklers or Bouncy's Trampoline Park."

"That's cool," said Leto.

"Yeah. Groovy," said Rhea.

" _Noooo_!" yelled Leto. "I hate when you say that!"

"I just said _groovy_ ," Rhea snapped. "What's the big deal?"

"The 70's called and they want that word back," said Leto.

"Ladies, please," said Hecate. "Anyway, ask the kids tomorrow and let me know what they say."

 **Okay, you guys get to choose: Trampoline Park or Silly Sprinklers again?**


	24. Chapter 23: Fire Drill

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone! Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **CHAPTER 23**

It was eight on Friday morning when Ms. Leto beat Ms. Rhea into the classroom. _Finally_ , she thought, _I have a whole room all to myself_ —

"Good morning, Leto," said Rhea, setting her purse down.

 _Dammit_ , thought Leto. "Good morning, Rhea."

"Ready for our little fire drill this morning?"

"Uh…" said Leto. "Not really."

"It'll be fun," Rhea promised.

"Is it gonna be groovy?"

"Really? You're gonna pull that now?" snapped Rhea.

"I don't know, Ms. Groovy," Leto giggled.

Rhea rolled her eyes. "At least I wasn't in labor for, like, nine days."

"Good morning," someone sang.

The teachers stopped making fun of each other and looked at the door.

"Hi, Hedone," said Ms. Leto. "Are you excited for today?"

Hedone sniffled and ran behind Psyche's legs.

"She's a bit nervous about today," Psyche said.

"Don't worry, Hedone," said Ms. Rhea.

"Yeah, Hedone," said Ms. Leto. "You can hang with Ms. Groovy today."

Hedone giggled and reached for Psyche.

Rhea tried to think of a name to call Leto. She couldn't call her _Fat, Pregnant Bitch_ because that would be rude. Plus, Zeus already called Hera that when Hera was pregnant with Ares.

While Rhea was thinking of a name that wouldn't make Leto bite her, the rest of the kids started to file in.

Usually, in the mornings, everyone would come in, mark themselves present, put their folders into a box, put the rest of their junk away, then sit on the carpet for circle time. Today was different because _everyone_ was glued to their parents.

"Bellerophon, it's okay, dude," said Glaucus.

Bellerophon wouldn't let go of Glaucus' leg.

"Fructus, do I have to sing the 'Farmer Song'?" asked Trip.

Fructus kicked his father, then kicked Uncle Hades just because he could.

"Hebe, don't cry, hon," said Hera. "Ms. Rhea and Stupid will take good care of you, honey."

"Parents, unless you have work that you need to do, you're welcome to stay if it'll make your kids feel better," Ms. Rhea invited.

"Okay," said Trip. "Demeter wanted me to tell you that you can go"—Trip swore—"yourself."

"Mr. Trip, there are kids here," Ms. Rhea said angrily.

"Hey, listen! That was the first word that came out of Fructus' mouth," snapped Trip.

"Ms. Leto, Mr. Trip is being hostile," said Ms. Rhea. "Please escort him out of the room.

"Everyone!" she addressed the class. "It's circle time!" She put on this song called "The Circle of Friendship", and the kids marched to the carpet.

Psyche looked at Hera. "That drug working okay for her?"

"Yeah. It just gives her a headache," Hera replied as Hebe relaxed in her lap.

"A bad one?"

"Nah. Just annoying…like Zeus."

"Daddy's Mommy's headache," Hebe chimed in.

"That's right," said Hera.

Atalanta, Phaethon, and Helios were all staring at Ms. Rhea as she flipped over a big-ass piece of paper.

"Everyone, what day is it?" said Ms. Rhea.

"Friday!" Theseus screamed.

"Thank you, Theseus," said Ms. Rhea.

"You're welcome, Ms. Rhea!" yelled Theseus. Aethra shushed him.

"So, we have something very special going on today," Ms. Rhea said. "It's called a fire drill. Now, I want you all to know that there won't be a real fire today. It's just practice in case there's a real fire.

"Here's what we do," she continued. "When we hear the alarm, we're all going to line up QUIETLY. I'll be at the front of the line, and Ms. Leto will be at the back. Then, we'll go out the front doors to the steak house across the street—no, Mr. Hades, we're not going in."

"Then, what's the point?" barked Hades.

Ms. Rhea ignored him. "We'll face away from the school. If there's a real fire, we don't want you looking at it because it'll hurt your eyes. And we're not going to take anything with us."

"Why?" asked Phaethon.

"Because _you_ are way more important than the pile of blocks you're playing with," said Ms. Rhea.

"Let's show our parents what we do at circle time," said Ms. Leto.

After the class did the Pledge, Ms. Leto asked Phaedra to help with the calendar. Phaedra knew her months, days, and weather, so Ms. Leto gave her a sticker once she'd helped, and Ms. Rhea took control of the next activity.

"Okay, class, our next activity is—"

 _BEEP_! _BEEP_! It was that damn fire alarm!

"Okay, everyone," said Ms. Rhea. "Stand up and form a nice, straight line at the door!"

"No coats, everyone," said Ms. Leto.

"Ms. Leto, I'm scared," said Phaedra, and she began to cry.

"I know, honey. It's just loud because of the alarm. Here, you can hang with me today."

"Theseus, let's go!" yelled Ms. Rhea.

Theseus dropped the truck he'd picked up, took Aethra's hand, then walked out the door with the rest of the class.

"Where are we, like, going?" Aphrodite barked.

Ms. Rhea ignored her and led the class over to the steak house.

"Mommy, are we done?" asked Andromeda.

"Almost, baby girl," said Cassiopeia as Andromeda held her hand.

"Everyone, please be quiet!" yelled Ms. Leto. She and Rhea did a quick head count. "Good, everyone's here."

The class and their parents waited patiently until the fire alarm was done. Then, they heard Ms. Hecate's voice over the loudspeaker. "Hi, guys! Thank you for being such good listeners this morning! The building is okay to reenter!"

All the parents decided to leave their kids at that point, and the only one who went to the steak house was Hades, because it's never too early to eat steak!

"Very good work today, everyone," said Ms. Rhea. "Now, onto more important things. We heard you all had a really fun time at the waterpark last year."

The class nodded.

"Would you guys like to do that for our end-of-the-year party, or should we go jumping at Bouncy's Trampoline Park?"

"WATERPARK!" the class yelled.

"I guess we'll be doing the waterpark again," Ms. Leto giggled as she wrote that down. "Now, remember, when you get this pink piece of paper in your take-home folder today, make sure you tell Mommy and Daddy about it. And if they want to come, they can."

A few weeks later, Valentine's Day came around the corner. The night before, all the kids were getting their cards and candies ready.

On Valentine's Day, the kids were about to hand out their cards when Ms. Leto stopped them. "Remember that your permission forms for the field trip are due tomorrow. We want to make sure everyone is paid for."

"Ms. Leto," said Eurydice, "my daddy says he'll be busy that day, so he wants you to swim with me."

"Tell Daddy I'd like to speak with him tomorrow," said Ms. Leto, looking at a card Phaethon just gave to her. "Well, thank you, sweetie."

Phaethon hugged her. "Happy Valentine's Day, Ms. Leto. I love you!" And he ran off to Ms. Rhea.

"Daddy said he knew you'd say that, so he'll be having explosive diarrhea tomorrow when you want to call him," Eurydice said.

"Then, I'll talk to him today after school," Ms. Leto replied.

When all the kids gave out their candy and stuff, Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto let them look at their cards and eat their candies.

Finally, it was time to go home. As soon as Ms. Leto saw Apollo, she began chiding him for being a sucky father.

"Eurydice _loves_ you," Ms. Leto stressed. "Apollo, you need to spend time with your daughter."

"Why, Mom?"

"Because you adopted her," snapped Leto. "Why couldn't you make it anyway?"

"I have to go chase hot women and force them into a relationship with me," Apollo said bluntly, "because I am a god. That's what gods do."

"Since I'm your mother," said Leto, "you can forget about those women and play with your daughter at the waterpark."

"Aww!" Apollo squealed.

"Oh, grow up," said Leto. She turned to Eurydice. "Bye, honey. I'll see you Monday."


	25. Chapter 24: Goodbye, Kindergarten!

**Hey guys! I have come back with more MS. HECATE'S ACADEMY and stuff, so here goes nothing! I also don't own this stuff; Uncle R and mythology do!**

 **CHAPTER 24**

It was nearing the end of May (yeah, huge time lapse; deal with it) when Ms. Rhea announced that the kids would be getting tested on something. The kids were still too young to understand what a test was, so they didn't think much of it.

"And next week," said Ms. Leto, "we'll be going to the waterpark."

"Yay!" the class squealed.

"Now," said Ms. Rhea, "while you're in art with Ms. Athena today, we'll be taking you one at a time to Ms. Hecate's office. She'll be doing the testing."

Ms. Leto looked at the class. "Did everyone finish their cards for their mommies? It's Mother's Day on Sunday."

The entire class nodded.

"Are you kids tired today?" asked Ms. Leto.

The class nodded again.

"Well, to cure that," said Ms. Rhea, "I guess we'll have to go outside and play."

"YES!" everyone cheered.

Andromeda, Perseus, Theseus, and Atalanta ran for the tire swing. Hebe and Fructus went to the playset. Everyone else just sorta went wherever the hell they wanted to go.

"Ms. Rhea," said Eurydice, "my daddy said he can't come to the waterpark because I'm not important."

Ms. Rhea bent down and gave Eurydice a hug. "Ignore what Daddy told you, dear," she said calmly. "Daddy's being rude to you. You can hang out with me, okay?"

"Mm-kay," said Eurydice. And she ran off toward the swings.

Meanwhile, in the sandbox, Hebe and Fructus were playing Wheat Field (don't ask), when Hercules and Iphicles came over. Hercules was carrying his twin on his back, because Iphicles was born very weak.

"Sit down," Hercules ordered. "I'm going to flex my giant muscles and see if anyone thinks it's attractive."

"Hercules, that's enough," called Ms. Leto as she walked around the playground. "Ten minutes, guys!"

Just then, there was a huge clap of thunder. Most of the kids flipped out.

Hebe finally stood up and yelled, "Don't worry, guys! It's just my daddy. He likes to show off sometimes!"

The class calmed down, running to the door to beat the downpour of rain.

Phaedra looked at Theseus. "That was kinda loud, huh?"

"Yeah. But I like thunder," said Theseus.

" _Theseus and Phaedra, sittin' in a tree_ ," Phaethon sang. " _K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage…there goes a baby in the baby carriage_!"

"Okay, Phaethon," said Ms. Rhea. "That's enough, honey." She led the kids back inside. "Since we have ten more minutes, you can play for that long. Then, we'll do some reading."

Andromeda, Hebe, and Hedone all ran to the dramatic play area, where they played princess ( _insert gagging noise here_ ).

As Perseus, Theseus, and Fructus were about to play Hungry, Hungry Hippos, Ms. Danaë ran into the room. "Rhea…Leto…" she panted, "Kronos is here."

Now, if you know stuff about Greek mythology and such, you'll remember that Kronos' ass is in Tartarus. Well, because this is just a crazy story where _anything_ can happen, Kronos is now back from Tartarus! Ha-ha-ha!

Ms. Leto ran to the lights and blinked them. "Class, there is a nasty person in the building. Please listen carefully. We're going to go into the corner over here behind the cubbies. We'll lock the door and turn off the lights. This is called a lockdown."

"You all need to be quiet," said Ms. Rhea.

Hebe, whose anxiety drugs were wearing off, started crying. "Don't let him eat me," she begged.

"Honey, c'mon," said Ms. Rhea. She pulled Hebe behind the cubbies and had her sit on her lap. The other kids and Ms. Leto followed them to the area behind the cubbies.

Ms. Danaë locked the door, then ran to the area as well.

The kids—surprisingly—were extremely quiet while Kronos walked around the school, looking for Rhea and her kids.

"HELP!" they heard someone yell. "HELP ME!"

Leto jumped up and ran to the door. "Rhea, Kronos is eating Hestia again."

Ms. Rhea shook her head. "Guys, I'll be right back. Stay here with Ms. Danaë."

Rhea went out into the hall, but there wasn't a sign of Hestia. "Kronos," she barked.

Kronos burped. "Hey, Rhea."

"Don't you 'Hey, Rhea' me, mister," Rhea said bitterly. "Where's Hestia?"

"She's in my tummy," said Kronos.

"Well, throw her up," snapped Rhea. "She needs to cook for our class."

"Ms. Rhea!" screamed Phaethon. "I'm a big boy! I'll help!"

Phaethon ran to Ms. Psyche's office. "Ms. Psyche, Ms. Psyche," he panted. "I need something to make Kronos puke."

Ms. Psyche gave him a bunch of cleaning chemicals. "That should work, hon," she said.

Meanwhile, back in the classroom, Jason's belly rumbled. "When's lunch?" he demanded.

"Not sure, dear," said Ms. Leto.

"Here's your medicine, Kronos," said Phaethon. He gave Kronos the bottle of chemicals (kids, do NOT try this at home). Kronos threw Miss Hestia up and ran out of the school, crying.

"Oh, Phaethon," said Miss Hestia, "you're my hero!"

Phaethon liked being called a _hero_. He didn't like it when Miss Hestia hugged him and she had puke on her.

"No problem," said Phaethon.

"Phaethon, that was a very brave thing you did," said Ms. Rhea.

"Mom, I don't have anything prepared for lunch yet, and I bet those kids are getting hungry," said Miss Hestia.

"Well, then…" Ms. Rhea thought about it. "I guess we'll have to go out to get food."

So, in a long line, Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto led their class to the steakhouse across the street.

When everyone got back from lunch (which was delicious, by the way), it was naptime. Once naptime was over, it was time for art…and time for the big test.

"Hi, everybody," said Ms. Athena, greeting the class as they filed into the room. "Is everyone ready to draw?"

"Yes, Ms. Athena," the class said.

"Great! I'm going to come around and give you a picture. You get to connect the dots today. Once you've done that, go ahead and color the picture. And what are we working on? Triton."

"Staying inside the lines," said Triton.

"Very good," said Ms. Athena. "Andromeda, I think you're being tested first."

Andromeda walked with Leto and Rhea down to the principal's office, feeling sick to her stomach because she was nervous.

Ms. Hecate greeted them and asked Andromeda to sit down next to her on the couch in the office.

"Andromeda, we just want to see how much you learned this year in kindergarten," said Ms. Hecate. "What's this letter?"

"D."

"Very good. Can you give me a work that starts with D?"

"Dog."

"Excellent. What's this shape?"

"A rectangle," Andromeda said. She'd been practicing her shapes with Mommy and Daddy at home.

"Very good. Can you write your name for me?"

Andromeda took the pencil and paper from Ms. Hecate and wrote her name…perfectly.

The rest of the testing went rather well. The only problem the teachers noticed were some of the kids getting mixed up between a square and a rectangle.

"No, Theseus," said Hecate. " _This_ is a rectangle. _This_ is a square." She held up some pictures for Theseus to see. "Very good, honey. All done."

Once everyone was done testing, the day was finally over.

At Bellerophon's house, Bellerophon and his parents were sitting around the table, eating dinner.

"Honey, slow down," said Eurynome.

Bellerophon was shoveling food into his face.

"What did you do in school today?" asked Glaucus.

"I took a test," said Bellerophon proudly. "I got it all right."

"Of course you did," said Eurynome. "You're so smart, honey."

"Thanks, Mommy."

"How about you, honey?" asked Eurynome.

Cinnamon came up sniffed Glaucus' hand.

"Well, I think I saw a new asteroid," said Glaucus. "Helios and I are going to name it Jason."

"Can't you name it Cinnamon?" asked Bellerophon.

"No, buddy. We have to name them after Greek people."

Bellerophon shrugged. "Okay. I'm full."

"Are you too full for dessert?" asked Eurynome.

"No," Bellerophon smiled as his mother handed out bowls of Jell-O.

The following week, it was almost the end of the school year—two days, to be exact. Today, everyone was going to the waterpark for their last hoorah before summer break.

"Does everyone have their swimsuits?" asked Ms. Rhea as the class filed onto the bus. "Everyone have all their medications? Okay! We're off!"

"Theseus," Aethra barked. "Put your shirt on!"

Theseus had taken off his shirt because it was "too damn hot on the bus".

"Mommy," said Hebe, "I feel carsick."

"Shut up, Hebe," said Zeus. "No one needs to hear of your ailments."

Hera whacked Zeus so hard across the face that he fell into the aisle.

"Hera and Zeus," snapped Ms. Rhea. "Stop being children."

Once the bus dropped them off at the waterpark, everyone headed into their own locker rooms.

In the boys' locker room, Phobos and Deimos were chasing each other while Ares got their floaties out.

"Get over here, you little craps!" barked Ares. "I'm taking time out of my extremely busy life to be with you!"

In the girls' locker room, Hebe was changing when Hedone came over to her. "Mommy wants to know if you're still carsick."

"Nope," Hebe replied. "I'm all better!"

Back in the boys' locker room, Zeus was in his swim trunks and was about to go into the waterpark. Then, he stopped. "Hey! Since I'm a king, you're all required to bow to me!"

"No," said Cepheus. "I don't gotta listen to you."

"Then, I'll take your wife as my prisoner!"

"I'd be okay with that," said Cepheus. "Cassiopeia's a _real_ bitch."

"Hell yeah!" Perseus yelled.

"That's right, kiddo," said Cepheus, smiling at Perseus.

Once everyone was in the waterpark, stuff started happening. Atalanta and Cyrene went to one of those slides that looks like a toilet bowl; Andromeda, Theseus, Perseus, and Phaedra went on this ride called the Twister; and Phaethon, Bellerophon, and Jason went into the hot tub with their parents.

"Whoa," said Phaethon, "that's hot."

Bellerophon was sitting on Glaucus' lap and making ripples in the water. "You guys wanna play Drown Jason?"

"What's Drown Jason?" asked Jason.

"We drown you," said Phaethon.

"What's _drown_ mean?"

"It means that we force you underwater till you die," Bellerophon laughed evilly.

"Knock it off," snapped Helios as Jason clambered onto his lap. "No one's drowning you, kid."

That's when they heard an almighty cry, and they saw Ms. Leto running Eurydice over to Ms. Psyche, who was sitting under a sprinkler with Hedone in her lap. Ms. Leto said something, and Ms. Psyche looked at Eurydice. Ms. Psyche took Eurydice over to the first-aid station. Eurydice came back out, clutching an ice pack to her head and holding a Popsicle.

"I just farted in the water," said Phaethon.

"That's nice, son," said Helios.

"Phaethon, that was inappropriate," said his less-fun mother, Clymene.

"I'm hungry," said Hercules.

"Okay," said Iphicles. "Let's go get some lunch."

So, Amphitryon and Alcmene headed into the cafeteria with their sons.

"Mm," said Iphicles. "Mommy, can I have chicken nuggets?"

"Of course," said Alcmene.

"Daddy, can I have a burger with everything on it?" asked Hercules.

"Sure," said Amphitryon.

Once the food arrived, the family headed up to the balcony to eat.

At the table next to them, Hebe and Fructus were eating with their families. Hebe, of course, had gotten some mac-and-cheese, chicken nuggets, fries, and a pop. Fructus' lunch sucked: five crumbs of bread, four grapes, three French fries, two small salads, and a partridge in a pear tree. Fructus kept eyeing Hebe's food. When Demeter wasn't looking, Hebe gave Fructus a spoonful of mac-and-cheese and a chicken nugget.

Andromeda and Perseus split a plate of chicken nuggets and fries, because they had little tummies. Phaedra was eating with her dad (Minos) and her mom (Pasiphaë), while Theseus hung out with his parents.

Andromeda burped, so that means she wasn't a princess the whole damn time.

"Princess Andromeda," said Perseus, "that's something Phaethon does."

Andromeda rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Princesses can do what they want."

Ms. Leto, Orpheus, Calliope, and Eurydice came up the stairs. Ms. Leto and Calliope were carrying trays while Orpheus and Eurydice held hands.

"I'm sorry that Apollo isn't here," said Calliope.

"Oh, no biggie," said Leto, setting the tray down on a table. "I'll strangle him later. Eurydice, here's your sandwich, honey."

"Thanks, Grandma Leto," said Eurydice, taking a massive bite of the sandwich and letting the jelly drip down her chin.

Ms. Rhea came up to join them. "Everyone having fun?" she asked as she ate her chicken sandwich.

"Yeah," said the kids.

"Great!"

"Ms. Rhea," sobbed Hebe, running towards the Titaness. "Ms. Rhea, Daddy said I'll never get married because guys don't like when girls bitch about everything."

Let's just say that Zeus had a bunch of slap marks on his face when they left the waterpark.

Unfortunately, the waterpark had to close due to lightning (and, no, it wasn't Zeusy). So, Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto made sure everyone was out of the pool, then sent everyone into the locker rooms to get changed.

"Tomorrow," said Ms. Leto as the bus was heading back to school, "we'll have graduation."

The following day, the parents piled into the gym for the graduation ceremony. Each student sat with his or her parents.

Ms. Hecate came up to the microphone. "Good morning, everyone, and thank you so much for such a wonderful school year! I'd like to ask all the kids to come up here to tell us what they'd like to be when they grow up."

Of course, Andromeda wanted to be a princess; Atalanta wanted to be a runner; and Bellerophon wanted to be an astronomer. They headed down the line until they got to Triton (a fisherman), and the boring talking part was over.

"Well, I think we'll all go back to the classroom and have yummy food!" said Hecate. "Please, parents, make sure you check your emails in August. Our new teachers, Miss Levesque and Miss McLean, will be emailing you to let you know the list of school supplies your child will need.

"Also," she said, "take _everything_ home with you! Once this week is over, anything left behind will be thrown away!"

"Hera," said Zeus, "do I _have_ to hang Hebe's crap pictures on the fridge?"

"Yes," Hera hissed. "They're cute."

"They look like someone crapped on a paper!"

Several parents shushed them.

"How _dare_ you shush the king?" barked Zeus.

Once the parents got into the classroom, they started to help their kids clean out their desks, their lockers, and the pictures on the bulletin board.

Rhea looked at Zeus. "Do you _honestly_ think that Hebe's pictures look terrible?"

"Well…no. They _are_ kinda cute. You know, the only thing Eileithyia draws is women giving birth and that ain't a pretty thing to see."

"Zeus, I'm sure you've seen lots of girls give birth before," Rhea scolded.

"Nope," said Zeus. "Fine…I saw Hebe being delivered, and I threw up. Almost divorced Hera."

Parents started to file out of the classroom, and several kids came up to Ms. Leto and Ms. Rhea and gave them hugs.

Eurydice was in tears as Apollo tried to pry her off Leto's legs. "Daddy, I wants to live with Grandma Leto!"

"Grandma Leto doesn't want you living with her," Apollo snapped.

"How do you know that?" snapped Leto.

"Because I'm the god of prophecy."

"Well…this is the one time you're wrong," said Leto.

"Good," Apollo snapped at his mother. "Take the girl. I think I'll just scoot—"

Ms. Leto picked up a broom that just happened to be leaning against her desk. "Not so fast, Apollo." And she chased him out of the school, screaming at the top of her lungs about how he never should've adopted Eurydice if he didn't want a kid in the first place.

All the kids had left by this point, except for Eurydice. She was helping Rhea and Leto take stuff down off the walls.

"Well," said Rhea as she and Leto closed the door to the classroom. "I'm sure we'll see each other around."

"Oh, Rhea," said Leto. "It was so much fun working work you."

"I enjoyed working with you, too," said Rhea, and she gave Leto a hug.

"Well," said Leto, "I'd better get Eurydice's stuff from Apollo's house."

"Don't you have to sign adoption forms?" asked Rhea.

"Nah," said Leto as she took Eurydice by the hand. "Apollo never signed the original ones."

Rhea shook her head. "What's in your future, Leto?"

"Not sure yet," said Leto. "But I think Hecate said there was someone coming in next year with special needs. So, I think she wants me to be the special education coordinator." She looked at Rhea. "You?"

Rhea looked down at Eurydice, who was smiling prettily at her. Rhea smiled back. "Well, Eros asked me to be his assistant at his clinic, so that's where I'll be next year."

"Well, good luck," said Leto. She turned to Eurydice. "C'mon, sweetie. Let's go to your house and get your stuff."

"Wow, Grandma Leto," said Eurydice. "You must be one strong chick to lift up my bed."

"Ah, but I'm a Titan. And Titans are good at lifting stuff," said Leto. "Let's go get some ice cream to celebrate the end of school."

And so, grandmother, granddaughter, and Rhea (who would be something like Eurydice's great aunt or something) headed out the front doors of the school.

 **Okay, first-grade shall start in the next couple of chapters. I'm thinking of doing something for summer vacation, since we don't really get to know the kids during the summer months.**

 **Can you guys guess who the student with special needs is? The answer shall be in the chapter when I start first grade!**


	26. Chapter 25

**Okay…if you're wondering who the kid with special needs is…it's Tyson the Cyclops! I know he doesn't really** _ **have**_ **special needs.**

 **CHAPTER 25**

It was the last day of school, and Leto and Eurydice had just gotten into the car.

Eurydice looked at Leto, who was weaving through Olympus traffic and getting honked at.

"Grandma Leto, when are we going to get ice cream?"

"Let's get your things from Daddy's house first," said Leto. "Then, we'll go get some ice cream."

They arrived at Apollo's house. As usual, Apollo was sitting on his porch, playing his guitar, and trying to ignore the fact that his mother and daughter were looking at him funny. "Hey," he said shortly. "Get in the house, grab your stuff, and get out. I'm meeting the Muses tonight and I haven't prepared a good song yet."

Leto whacked him. "Apollo, I'm very disappointed in you."

Apollo shrugged. "Okay."

Leto clenched her jaw. "C'mon, Eurydice."

Eurydice led Leto up to her room. Eurydice's room had white walls, a yellow sun ceiling fan, and a chair in the middle of the floor. Eurydice didn't have a bed; she slept on a mattress on the floor.

Leto shook her head. "Do you want any of this stuff, dear?"

"Not really. Once, the chair broke and Daddy got mad at me."

"I see," said Leto. "Well, I guess we'll have to get you a big-girl bed."

"I love you, Grandma Leto," said Eurydice.

"I love you, too, honey," Leto said, picking her up. "Let's go back to my house."

"Uh…ice cream first."

"That's right."

Leto and Eurydice drove to this ice cream place called Get-A-Cone, which was actually right by Leto's house.

Five minutes later, Leto and Eurydice were each carrying chocolate milkshakes.

Eurydice stuck the straw of her shake into her mouth and took a huge sip. Ah…it was _divine_. "Grandma Leto, what's for dinner?"

"I'm not sure," said Leto. "Should we head to the store to see what they've got?"

"Yeah," Eurydice said.

When they got to the store, they ran into Rhea. "Hi, girls," said Rhea. She was holding Hebe by the hand. "It's Grandma Rhea/Hebe Day today."

"Awesome," said Leto. "We're here to get some dinner."

"That sounds good," said Hebe. "We're here because Mommy's got a nasty cough, so Grandma Rhea said we could pick up her drugs for her so Daddy doesn't have to get off his lazy ass and do it himself."

"Okay, Hebe, that's enough," Rhea said.

"Will Mrs. Hera get better?" asked Eurydice.

Leto rolled her eyes, but then caught Rhea's eye. "She'll be fine, sweetie," said Leto. "Rhea, where can I find a Eurydice-size bed?"

"Try Procrustes' Slightly Used Waterbeds," said Rhea. "It's a few stores down from here."

After picking up some stuff to make personal pizzas, Leto and Eurydice headed to Procrustes' bed shop.

"Welcome," said Procrustes. "I don't think we've met before."

"Hi, I'm Leto, and this is my granddaughter, Eurydice," Leto said, shaking Procrustes' hand like the nice Titaness she was.

"Well, I just got some new beds. Come on back here and I'll show you."

Procrustes led them back to the kids' section. Eurydice immediately saw the bed that Theseus was bragging about (the one shaped like a candy bar). Then, Eurydice's eye fell upon a bed with pink hearts on it.

"Grandma Leto," said Eurydice, "can I have the heart one?"

It was a very quick trip to the bed store. Eurydice picked out a bed, but Procrustes said that it was just a model, so she'd get it by Saturday.

"That's fine," said Leto. "That's only a couple days away. Eurydice, dear, you can sleep in my guest room."

That night, after a very successful personal pizza-making, Leto was helping Eurydice get ready for bed.

"Should we put our jammies on or brush our teeth first?" asked Leto.

"I don't brush before bedtime," said Eurydice. "Daddy says if I get cavities, it'll be all my fault."

"That's awful."

"Yeah. My daddy's mean to me. Good thing I'm living with you now."

"Well," said Leto, "it's important that you brush before bedtime so you _don't_ get cavities."

"Yeah. Phaethon said that cavities are a real bitch."

"That's right," Leto laughed.

After they got ready for bed, Leto read a bedtime story to Eurydice. When the story was over, Leto kissed her granddaughter on the head, then said, "Goodnight, honey."

"Goodnight, Grandma Leto."

Two months later, everyone was gearing up to return to school. But one person wasn't happy.

"Mommy," said Perseus as he and Danaë waited for Dictys in the car, "can I go to Vegas with you guys?"

"No, honey," said Danaë. "And we're not going to Vegas. We're going to Mexico."

"But I don't want to stay with Uncle P for a week. He's a perv."

"Stop saying that word. Who taught you that?" snapped Danaë.

"Phaethon."

"Well, don't listen to anything else Phaethon tells you," Danaë said. "You're staying with Uncle P for the week, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"What about my checkup next week?"

"Uncle P said he'll take you," said Danaë.

"Ew," snapped Perseus.

"Well, ready for explosive diarrhea for two days, Danaë?" asked Dictys.

"Yeah," said Danaë.

"Daddy, can I come, too?" asked Perseus.

"No, dude. Uncle P would be _very_ disappointed if you didn't hang with him this week," said Dictys.

"Can I hang with my hot babe, Andromeda?" asked Perseus.

"No," said Danaë. "No, you cannot."

Dictys pulled into Polydectes' driveway. Like the creeper he was, Polydectes was sitting on the front porch, rocking in the rocking chair.

"Hey, kiddo!" yelled Uncle P.

"Daddy, uh…I got lots and lots of stuff to do at home," said Perseus, slowly moving toward the car.

Danaë pulled her son toward his uncle. "Hi," she said briskly as Uncle P puckered up for a kiss. "No," she snapped. Uncle P lowered his head in sadness. "So, his checkup with Asclepius is on Wednesday at two-fifteen—"

"Hi, Perseus!"

Andromeda was walking down the sidewalk with Cassiopeia. Andromeda was way ahead of her mother, since she was jumping rope and trying to get somewhere at the same time.

"Dromie!" yelled Perseus. "Save me!"

"I can't," said Andromeda. "Mommy said we have to go home because she's taking me to get my ears pierced!"

"Can I go?" asked Perseus.

"No, honey," said Danaë. "Have fun with Uncle P this week." And she bent down, giving her son a kiss on the cheek. "We'll call you tomorrow night."

Once Danaë and Dictys left, Perseus and Uncle P stared at each other.

Uncle P finally broke the ice after a minute or two. "You know that idiot who lives down the street from you?"

"Theseus?"

"Yeah. What happened to him?"

"Nothing happened to him. He's just hyper all the damn time," said Perseus.

"That's great," said Uncle P. "C'mon inside, kid. I got your room all ready for you."

Down the road, Helios had just left for work. That meant that Clymene had to deal with a constipated Phaethon.

"Do you think I'll poop today?" asked Phaethon.

"I hope so," said Clymene as she handed him a bunch of grapes. "Otherwise, I think we'll need to see Dr. Asclepius."

"I don't wanna eat," said Phaethon miserably. "My tummy hurts, Mommy."

"Here, dear. Sit on my lap and I'll rub your tummy."

Phaethon headed over to his mother and fell asleep in her lap.

At Theseus' house, Theseus was running in his playroom when Aethra came in to see him.

"Mommy," Theseus panted, "can I have a Possicle?"

"No," said Aethra. "We need to get your school supplies."

Theseus and Aethra headed into Olympus Target, where Aethra got a shopping cart and dragged her son around the store with her.

"Mommy, can I sit in the cart?" asked Theseus.

"No, honey. You're a big boy now. Big boys walk with their mommies," Aethra said. "And big boys don't put their mouths on the cart, Theseus."

"Aethra!"

They were heading passed the makeup aisle, so they ran into Aphrodite.

"I just came out with a new product," Aphrodite giggled, shoving a tube of something under Aethra's nose. "It's Aphrodite's Spa-in-a-Tube."

"Okay?" said Aethra.

"It's a lotion that makes you feel relaxed, keeps zits away, and makes you look ten years younger," Aphrodite squealed.

"Side effects?" asked Aethra.

"None," Aphrodite giggled. "At least, not any I know of."

"I guess I'll give it a shot," said Aethra.

Aphrodite held out her hand. "Uh…that'll be fifty bucks, please."

"Are you saying Mommy's ugly?" snapped Theseus.

"Theseus, that's enough," snapped Aethra, looking at the tube.

"Of course not," said Aphrodite. "I just sold it to Cassiopeia a few minutes ago." She looked behind her. "I have to go pierce Andromeda's ears. See ya!"

Aphrodite walked over to the jewelry section, where she met up with Andromeda and Cassiopeia. "Are you ready, honey?" she giggled.

"Yep," said Andromeda.

"Well, have a seat in the big-girl chair," said Aphrodite.

Andromeda sat in the chair and Cassiopeia sorta just stood there.

"I might need some assistance," said Aphrodite. Then, she spotted Psyche and Hedone walking by. "Hey, Psycho! Get your ass over here and help me pierce Andromeda's ears!"

"No!" Psyche replied.

"Oh," Aphrodite squealed. "Piper!"

Piper was walking by, arm-in-arm with Jason.

"What?" snapped Piper. "I'm busy!"

"Help me pierce the little princess' ears," Aphrodite ordered.

"Mommy," Andromeda whispered, "she called me a _princess_."

"I know," said Cassiopeia.

"Uh…" Jason looked at Piper. "Well, looks like we're late for lunch, Pipes." And he and Piper took off running through the store.

Aphrodite—who couldn't do stuff by herself, apparently—shrugged and pierced Andromeda's ears anyway. Andromeda screamed, kicking Aphrodite in the chest, causing Aphrodite to yell Greek swears at Andromeda. Then, she ran crying to Ares.

Cassiopeia looked at Andromeda's ears, which were dripping blood. "Uh…" Cassiopeia put some Kleenex on her daughter's bleeding ears. "Want some ice cream, Dromers?"

"Yeah," Andromeda sobbed.

Aethra and Theseus continued their little adventure down the school supplies aisle.

"What color folder do you want for your take-home folder?" asked Aethra.

"Can I have this one?" asked Theseus, holding up a folder with fireworks on it.

"Sure," said Aethra, putting it into the cart. She went down the aisle to get the rest of the school supplies, while Theseus looked at the kids' books that were on sale.

"Frank," said a woman's voice from the next aisle, "I just don't like Cheerios."

"C'mon, Hazel. Cheerios are delicious."

"Is that Miss Levesque?" asked Aethra, peeking around the corner. "Hazel?"

"Hey, Aethra!" called Hazel, running toward Aethra. They attacked each other in a hug. "And you must be Theseus."

"Yeah," said Theseus. "I'm in your class this year. Do you give lots of homework?"

"Not a lot, but a little bit," Hazel said.

"Can you give Phaethon lots of homework? He keeps making fun of me." Theseus rolled his eyes.

Hazel laughed. "No. Everyone gets the same amount of homework, Theseus."

"Dammit," Theseus muttered under his breath.

"I heard that," Aethra snapped. "We're done. Nice seeing you guys."

"You, too," said Hazel.

A couple days from now, school would be back in session. The students weren't required to go to an orientation night, but they were asked to come in to see where their classrooms were.

Since school started on Monday, Tyson (our adorable Cyclops friend) was getting worried. It was now Friday, and Tyson was going into school today to see Ms. Leto and Miss Levesque.

Why was Tyson in the picture? Sure, he'd been to school with Percy, but Poseidon suggested that Tyson start from the very beginning (a very good place to start). And Ms. Leto wouldn't be there for just Tyson; she'd also be there to make sure Theseus didn't get out of control.

"Hi, Tyson," said Leto. "I'm Ms. Leto. I'll be one of your teachers this year, okay?"

"Hi, Ms. Leto," said Tyson nervously.

"Well, shall we go to your classroom?" asked Leto.

Tyson nodded.

"Great."

Ms. Leto took Tyson's hand and took him to Hazel's classroom. "This is your classroom, Tyson," said Ms. Leto.

"Hi, Tyson," said Hazel. "Do you remember me? I'm one of Percy's friends."

"You're the pretty one," Tyson remembered. "But I like Annabeth, too."

Hazel laughed nervously. "Well, should we find your seat?"

"Yes," Tyson said. "I am excited."

"Me, too," said Hazel. She led Tyson to a seat in a group of four desks. Hazel and Piper only had twelve kids each, so Hazel had set up her classroom with three groups of four.

"You're going to sit right next to Phaethon, Theseus, and Phaedra," said Hazel.

"If that Phaethon kid makes fun of Tyson," said Poseidon, "may I smother the shit out of him?"

"Poseidon," said Leto. "That's child abuse."

"So, it's okay if Zeus slaps Hebe, but it's not okay for me to smother Phaethon?"

"Well, Zeus shouldn't be slapping Hebe, and I _will_ speak to Hera about that," said Leto. "Of course, if I do that, that'll require me to _speak_ with Hera."

"My boy, why're you crying?" asked Poseidon.

"I don't know math!" Tyson sobbed.

Hazel had just showed him the math workbook they were using that year, and this made Tyson scared because he hadn't had a lot of experience with numbers yet.

"Tyson, sweetie," said Leto, "a lot of these kids are learning their numbers, too. It'll be okay."

Across the hall, two more students arrived. Like Tyson, they were new at the whole school thing.

"Hi, Icarus! Hi, Telemachus!" said Piper. "Welcome to Ms. Hecate's Academy!"

Icarus had on a shirt with the sun on it (yeah…), and Telemachus was hiding behind his father's legs.

Piper showed them their seats, told them about what they'd be doing the first day of school, then took them around the place for a tour. It was pretty cool, and both boys were excited to begin school. Icarus never went to kindergarten, and neither did Telemachus. In fact, both boys were taught by Penelope (she homeschooled them), but Penelope found a better job, so she was sending them out of her house.

 **THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL**

Things were happening a bit differently that year. Piper and Hazel wanted the kids to be more independent from their parents, so they set up two lines outside the school. Each morning, the kids would line up on the teacher's line, then they would hug and kiss their parents goodbye there.

It was eight-fifteen in the morning when Perseus got into Uncle P's car. For the past week, Uncle P had actually been okay with Perseus (even though he still asked Perseus how Danaë was doing).

"Ready for school?" asked Uncle P.

"I guess so," said Perseus. "You think I'll have homework?"

"Not sure," said Uncle P. "But that would be pretty f-ing funny if you did." He cackled and pulled into the parking lot. "Bye, kiddo. I think your parents are going to come get you. But if not, that Cepheus character can always drive you home." And he sped off.

Perseus looked at his backpack, which had fish all over it, and headed for the playground.

Most of the kids were just chillin', but some of the kids were exploring the new playground equipment. A lot of the kids looked too nervous to play this morning.

At eight forty-five, the bell rang. All the kids flipped out, thinking it was another fire drill. Phaedra ran to Theseus, who gave her a hug. "It's okay," he told her. "The school's not gonna esplode or anything."

"Everyone," called Ms. Hecate, "please line up to meet your teachers! If you have Miss Levesque, please line up here. If you have Miss McLean, please line up next to Miss Levesque's class!"

Phaethon (who was no longer constipated), ran up to Bellerophon and began to poke him gently in the side. "Dude, Jason got glasses."

"Don't make fun, Phaethon," said Bellerophon. "When you make fun of someone, that's called _being a dick_."

"But I was just saying he got glasses," said Phaethon.

Hebe and Fructus were talking with Makaria and Phobos.

"Yeah," Phobos was saying, "I heard our teachers change into monsters at night, fly into our house, and kill us!"

"Guys, c'mon," said Fructus. "You're scaring the shit out of Hebe."

Suddenly, Hazel and Piper walked out of the school, and Ms. Hecate basically told the kids to zip it.

"Good morning!" called Hazel in a sweet voice. "I'm Miss Levesque! If you're in my class, please follow me to the classroom!"

"I'm Miss McLean!" Piper called. "If you're in my class, please come this way!"

Hazel led her class to their lockers. "Before we go in, you may put your backpacks in your locker. Just make sure you have your school supplies and folders with you."

Once the class did that boring chore, Hazel told everyone to find their names and sit down. The kids sort of forgot how to read their names during the summer, so Hazel was running around the room, trying to help them.

Andromeda, Atalanta, Bellerophon, and Fructus were in the same cluster of desks. Andromeda's nametag was pink and had a picture of a princess on it…so she was good. Atalanta had a picture of a deer, Bellerophon's nametag had a sun on it, and Fructus' nametag had a banana on it.

Just then, the kids saw Ms. Psyche walk into the room. "Theseus, come here, dear."

Theseus walked over to Ms. Psyche, who gave him his medicine. Then, he went back to his seat.

Hazel shut the door and looked at the class. "One, two, three! Eyes on me!"

Everyone, except Tyson, looked at her.

"Tyson, honey, eyes up here, please," said Hazel. "Good morning, everyone! My name is Miss Levesque. Welcome to first grade! Today, we'll be getting to know each other."

Phaethon rolled his eyes, then he remembered what Helios had told him last night. _Dude, if you don't behave yourself at school today, you'll be severely punished_. Honestly, Phaethon enjoyed school, if he found the stuff they were learning interesting.

Hazel went up to the white board and printed her name…and Hazel had really nice handwriting. "So, class, we'll be heading to my carpet for circle time."

Hazel put on some stupid kid song, and all the kids sat on the carpet in a circle. Hazel sat in a chair. Andromeda and Tyson were sitting next to her.

"Okay," said Hazel, "we're going to do our calendar right now. Who wants to help me with our calendar today?"

Phaethon raised his hand, and Hazel gave him a laminated piece of paper with the number twenty-one on it. "Phaethon, can you put that paper right here? Perfect! Very good, Phaethon!"

Phaethon, after he stuck the paper to the calendar, took his seat on the carpet again.

After that, Hazel did some songs with the kids (which she called _greeting songs_ ). All the kids seemed to enjoy them, so Hazel decided to keep singing them in the mornings.

Meanwhile, in Piper's classroom, Piper was doing the same thing. Some of her kids didn't like to sing, so Piper decided they should only sing a couple days a week.

"Okay," said Piper. "It's time for morning recess."

"Yay!" screamed the class.

"What are the rules outside?" asked Piper.

Otrera (another new kid the author neglected to mention) raised her hand.

"Otrera?" asked Piper.

"I don't know," Otrera replied.

"It's okay," said Piper. "Who can help out Otrera?"

Jason raised his hand.

"Jason?" asked Piper, her cheeks turning pink.

"We don't push or kick or bite people," Jason said. He was a smart kid, and Rhea and Leto had drilled that into the kids' brains last year.

"Very good," said Piper.

Outside, the two classes began to play with each other. Jason, Phaethon, and Bellerophon went on top of the playset, which was the "tower", or whatever.

"So," said Phaethon, "if I break your glasses, Jase, will you still be my friend?"

"I guess so," said Jason. "But that wouldn't be nice of you."

"Can I try 'em on?" asked Phaethon.

"Sure," said Jason.

He gave Phaethon his glasses and Phaethon tried them on. "These don't help," he bitched, throwing them into the woodchips.

Jason stared at his frenemy. "Why'd you do that?" he snarled.

"Because they didn't work for me. If they don't work for me, how are they gonna work for you?" asked Phaethon.

"Because everyone's eyes are different," Jason said sadly.

"I'll go get them," said Bellerophon. He slid down the slide and ran across the woodchips to get the glasses. That's when he heard a _crack_ , and realized—too late—that he'd stepped on Jason's glasses and had shattered them.

"Uh…" said Bellerophon. He could feel Jason's eyes on him and he looked up. "Sorry! It was an accident!"

Jason started crying and he slid down the slide. A moment later, the boys saw him with Miss McLean.

"Phaethon and Bellerophon!" yelled Hazel. "Please come here now!"

The boys slid nervously down the slide, and headed to their teacher.

"Which one of you broke Jason's new glasses?" Hazel demanded.

Piper took Jason inside.

"Miss McLean, could you please get Ms. Hecate out here?" asked Hazel.

"No problem, Miss Levesque," said Piper.

"You two," said Hazel, "may go sit on the bench until Ms. Hecate comes outside."

Piper and Jason headed down to the nurse's office. Ms. Psyche was there, but she was on the phone with Aethra (something about Theseus' medicine).

Once Psyche hung up the phone, she turned to Piper and Jason. "Hi, you two," she said jovially. "What's wrong?"

"We had a little glasses mishap today at recess," said Piper, putting the broken glasses on the desk.

Psyche examined them. "Hmm…" she mused. "I think Dr. Asclepius will have to fix them, honey."

Jason was still crying.

"Sweetie, can you tell me what happened?" asked Psyche.

"Phaethon wanted to try my glasses on, so I said yes. Then, he said they didn't work for him, so he threw them into the woodchips. Then, Bellerophon went to get them and stepped on them. But he said it was an accident."

"I see," said Psyche. "Well, Jason, I think I'm going to call your father and ask him to take you to see Dr. Asclepius for new glasses."

Meanwhile, Ms. Hecate stood in front of Phaethon and Bellerophon. "Which one of you actually _threw_ the glasses?" she demanded.

"I did," said Phaethon.

"And why would you do such a thing?" asked Ms. Hecate.

"Because if they didn't help me see stuff better, how are they going to help Jason? I was just looking out for him, Ms. Hecate."

"Thank you, Phaethon," said Ms. Hecate, "but those glasses are designed for Jason's eyes _only_ , not anyone else's. Now, Bellerophon, did _you_ break them?"

"Yes, but it was an accident, Ms. Hecate," said Bellerophon.

Well, Bellerophon's mistake was excusable, but Phaethon's wasn't. So, like so many times last year, Ms. Hecate marched Phaethon down to her office, where he sat for a long while and they talked about his behavior goals.

Meanwhile, back in Piper's classroom, Jason had returned to the classroom after Aeson took him to Asclepius for new glasses. Asclepius was a quick fixer of glasses!

"So," said Piper, "after recess, we usually do math. But since it's the first day of school, let's play some more games."

The class cheered, ran to the carpet, and sat there until Piper told them what to do. The class was about to play a game of God, God, Titan.

"Miss McLean," said Eurydice, "what's for lunch?"

"I'm not sure what Miss Hestia's making, but I'm sure it'll be awesome," said Piper.

When the two classes had played their games and whatnot, everyone headed to the gym for lunch. Yeah, Miss Hestia was getting tired of giving the kids their food in the classroom for some reason.

"Mm," said Orpheus as he stood next to Eurydice, "it smells good in here."

All the kids grabbed plates and headed up to Miss Hestia, who was dishing out salad, spaghetti, and garlic bread.

"Thank you, Miss Hestia," said Hebe.

"You're welcome, Hebe," said Miss Hestia.

Hebe and Fructus sat down at the table together. Hebe began to eat her spaghetti, while Fructus followed Mommy's orders and wolfed down his salad first.

"Makaria," said Phobos, "is Ms. Persephone back this year?"

"Yeah. Not sure when she's teaching, though," said Makaria, taking a bite of her garlic bread.

"Hi, guys," said Hazel. "Is it okay if I sit with you?"

"Sure," said Phobos. "What's our special today?"

"Mythology," said Hazel, taking a small bite of her salad.

"Miss Hestia makes the best food ever," Hebe was telling Piper.

"She does, doesn't she?" said Piper, eating her garlic bread, then dipping it into the tomato sauce.

"I'm sleepy now," said Tyson. "When's naptime?"

Hazel casually ignored him, because at Ms. Hecate's Academy, first-graders didn't have naptimes anymore.

Andromeda stared at Perseus, who was slurping up his spaghetti. "Uh…" she said, "do you think we'll get homework?"

"Uncle P thinks so, but Uncle P's an idiot-head, so I'm not sure," said Perseus. "I don't think we will, though."

"Everyone," called Piper, "let's head back to our classrooms!"

Hazel led her class back to her classroom, and instructed them to sit down. She passed out construction paper, then told the class to draw something fun they did that summer. Then, she wanted them to tell the class about it.

As Hazel walked around, she saw Tyson drawing a dolphin on his paper, Andromeda drawing an earring, and Fructus drawing a strawberry. Hazel looked over Phaedra's shoulder, and she was drawing a horse with her riding it. Theseus couldn't think of something fun he did this summer, so Hazel had to help him out a bit.

"Did you go somewhere fun?" she asked.

"No. We went somewhere _educational_ ," said Theseus. "Mommy wanted to show me how fudge was made, but I didn't get to eat any because the fudge machine was broken."

"Did you play with anyone?" asked Hazel.

"No," said Theseus. "Every time I wanted to, it would rain, so Perseus couldn't come over and play with me."

"What did you do last week, Theseus?"

"I got shots from Dr. Asclepius," said Theseus miserably. "My summer sucked."

"You played with me at my house, dude," said Perseus. "'Member? We went to Daddy's fish store, and we ran up and down the stairs because we were playing Club House."

"Oh, that's right! I forgot about that!"

"And you got a skateboard, and we rode it up and down your new ramps," said Perseus.

"Oh, yeah!"

"And we played Mommy and Daddy at my house," said Phaedra. "Remember, Theseus? I put my dolly under my shirt and walked around, telling everyone I had a baby in my tummy. Your mommy thought it was real cute, 'member?"

"Did we have a boy or a girl?" asked Theseus.

"I don't remember," said Phaedra sadly. "I think we had a boy, and I think we named him _Jason_."

Hazel smiled and kept walking around the room.

Meanwhile, in Piper's class, Piper had all the kids "shake their sillies out," which means she put on some kid's song and the kids would dance.

"Great work, Iphicles!" said Piper. "You're all very good listeners. Ms. Rhea and Ms. Leto taught you well.

"Now, it's almost time for specials. Since it's Monday, our special is Mythology. Can one of you tell me what you learned last year in Mythology with Ms. Persephone? Yes, Jason?"

"We learned about this guy named Tantalus," said Jason, still with his hand in the air. "And we learned about another guy named Sisyphus."

"Sounds like a fun year," said Piper. "Well, today, our Line Leader is Cyrene." She led Cyrene to the door, where Cyrene stood in front of Piper. The rest of the class followed.

It's a great time to discuss the number system in these two classes. In elementary school, teachers often give their kids numbers, so they can keep track of where they are in lines and stuff. So, that meant when Piper or Hazel told everyone to line up, everyone would go in "number order". And it was alphabetical.

"Hi, everyone," said Ms. Persephone, greeting the classes at the door like she did last year. "C'mon in and have a seat on the carpet for me!"

The kids piled onto the carpet and waited for Ms. Persephone to talk to them about mythology.

"So, I see we have some new friends," said Ms. Persephone, "let's all introduce ourselves so everyone gets to know each other."

All the kids introduced themselves, then Persephone looked at her notes, which were perched upon her lap.

"Okay, guys, today we're going to learn the myth of Kronos."

The class stared blankly at her.

"And to help us understand it a bit better, we're going to go outside today, and I'll tell you what to do then."

The class followed Ms. Persephone outside to the playground, where Ms. Persephone asked for eight volunteers (four boys and four girls).

"So, Kronos will be played by Phobos, Rhea will be played by Hedone. Makaria, Hebe, and Phaedra will play Hestia, Demeter, and Hera."

"I don't wanna be Demeter!" Hebe yelled. "I wanna be my mommy!"

"You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit," Persephone reminded her sweetly. "Okay, Theseus, Perseus, and Telemachus, you'll be playing Hades, Poseidon, and Zeus. If I called your name, please go to the big slide, but stay there. Don't slide down yet."

The kids ran up to the top of the big slide, and stayed there, as directed.

"Once there were two Titans named Kronos and Rhea," said Persephone, "and they were going to have a little baby. But the sky god, Ouranos, told Kronos that his children would take over the kingdom."

Phobos looked at the sky like he was terrified of it.

"Then, Rhea gave birth to a little girl named Hestia."

Hedone and Makaria hugged each other.

"But Kronos didn't want his kids ruling the kingdom," said Persephone, "so, he ate Hestia."

Phobos threw Makaria down the slide, causing her to land on her ass in the woodchips.

"Then, Rhea had a little girl named Demeter."

Hebe wagged a finger at Fructus. "Fructus, eat your Lucky Charms!"

The class laughed, and Fructus' face turned the color of a tomato.

"Then, Kronos ate Demeter," said Ms. Persephone. "Then, Rhea had a girl named Hera."

Hedone and Phaedra hugged each other. Then, Phaedra slid down the slide.

Then Phobos swallowed up Theseus and Perseus. Finally, once "Zeus" (Telemachus) was born, Persephone kept telling the story.

"Zeus grew up to be a big boy. He went all the way to Kronos' palace, and made Kronos throw up his brothers and sisters."

Now, the kids at the bottom of the slide knew it was a no-no to climb up the slide. But Ms. Persephone said it was okay this time.

"Then, Zeus became the king of the gods, and married Hera."

Telemachus and Phaedra held hands, which pissed Theseus off.

"She's my girlfriend!" Theseus screamed.

"It's okay," said Persephone firmly. "You'll get her back."

The bell rang, signaling the end of the specials.

"Okay, guys," said Persephone. "Great work today! Next week, we'll be talking about Hestia and Priapus."

Hazel and Piper led their kids back to their classrooms, and asked them to put their chairs on top of the desk, so that Argus (the academy's janitor) could clean everything.

Once the final bell rang, the class paraded out of the classroom. Leto, who was standing by the door to get Eurydice, wanted to talk to Hazel for a minute to hear about Tyson's day.

"He did wonderful," said Hazel.

"Excellent," said Leto. "Ready to go, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," said Eurydice, clutching her backpack, which had music notes on it.

Everyone left school happily...and with no homework.

When Hebe got home, she talked Zeus' ears off about it, until Zeus finally told her to shut the hell up. Then, Hera chased Zeus around the palace with a broom, while Hebe sat at the table and watched the whole thing.

 **Okay, did you guys like the new stuff for first-grade?**


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